| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 9/28/2005 12:01:43 PM | exactly dawn..maybe we should have a single parents pof party .....since i am new to this i dont know if that has been doen before or not.....lol...you never know at least most or all of us at the party will have kids and we will know right from the start..lol
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 9/28/2005 12:45:47 PM | My turn to share..
Good luck to all single mothers, I have been divorced now for 11 years and have had 2 seriouse relationships and they said no problem shellie I love kids and not long after the kids got to know them Bam out the damn door... I've taken care of there 3 boys which are now 17 16 & 14 for 11 years by myself... I work hard and all i want is some Love for me and a friend for my boys.. I'm ready to settle down and If I find a man that has kids i will treat them as they were my own.. Its really hard on full time single parents and I admire every single one of you.. I know that doesn't help getting any.. but all good things will come for those who wait... tick tick tick sorry i used that still doesn't help that lonelyness huh? Good luck everyone | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 9/28/2005 1:40:34 PM | | Shellie...i empathize your situation...I have 2 wonderful daughters that live with me full time...one in college & the other a Junior in High School...it ahs not been easy but one thing I did find is that they have the perfect radar for whether or not a person is good for me..they view things from an outside perspective...still doesn't help with the loneliness, but it does help in making sure that when I find the right one...it will be the last one | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 9/28/2005 2:53:45 PM | | i have been wise in not intruducing my ..date... to my kids ....actually only one man has met them and he lasted aobut a month after that... but my kids dindnt like him in the first place....i would be interested in actually dating a man with kids....i have never been giving the opportunity to do it before and i love big familys... | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 9/28/2005 3:16:24 PM | agree with you, I don't think you should introduce immediately, I was with the first guy six months before he met my children.. we moved in together and after 4 years said he couldn't help raise another mans kids.. So that was that one. The second time this one met my kids sooner but was introduce as a friend and he hung out with the boys and I . There was no holding hands or anything intimate in front of the boys.. for a while. so after dating for 4 years we moved in together and it lasted 6 months.. My boys and him couldn't relate to one another, they didn't fight or anything. They just didn't talk to one another.. I'll will be a wonderful 40 here real soon and my boys will all be over the age of 18.. I can wait to settle down then.. But until then i would love to build and work on that possible relationship. These relationships the men did have kids and they thought the world of me heck they still stay in touch with me.
I guess it's a man thing.. I do not know.. But someone is missing out on a chance to spend some time with me.. I've got a lot to offer someone.. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 9/28/2005 4:47:34 PM | | as i said before i love my kids and dont want to see them hurt....i would love to meet a guy that has kids so he understands exactly what im going threw ....but ..the big but....(not mine) where to find them | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 9/28/2005 10:52:52 PM | | I'm having the same problem I have 1 boy 5 and twin girls almost 3 and do you want to see men run or they just want a friends with benifits kind of thing....I'm not that type of girl.... I could just use a friend though.. I've been married for 8 years and wow the dating thing is so hard with kids. And seems that us canadian girls should move to the states more guys there that date girls with kids....LOL... Well good luck to all... | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 9/29/2005 6:21:32 AM | no no the states are just the same hun.. But would love to have ya anyway.. Oh the friends with benefits i've heard way too many times.. here's a new one for ya.. friends with outlets..
Men are getting very creative with their words.. lol.. Good luck. If these men cannot accept that we have children then they are not right for us.. There is a good man or woman out there for us single parents. Don't know where yet, but I'm sure there is...  | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 9/29/2005 7:15:45 AM | | Shelli, I agree with everything you said. The dating scene is horrible, but add a couple kids to the package and forget it. The one thing I do not understand is women that have kids of there own but want to meet someone that has no kids. I get so aggravated because there kids are good enough but mine aren’t. | |
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| Comments from the Peanut Gallery
Posted: 9/29/2005 9:52:07 AM | I've perused this forum enough to know that a lot of what I have to say has already been said. Nevertheless, I feel the need to share what I've drawn from my own experience.
I think it would be a lie if I were to say that I'd be willing to date a woman with three children. Two would give me pause. One I can handle. I'd also be a little concerned about dating a woman with no children, because as was stated earlier, a woman with a child understands the complexity of life after children. Why do I feel this way?
Ideally, I would like to date someone who has one daughter. I dare not say this aloud, of course, because it leads you to think things which are simply not true. I have a daughter of my own. My thought is that a boy and a girl should not share the same bedroom while growing up. If things were ever to get serious, that would mean the difference between a three bedroom apartment and a two bedroom. I know, it's kind of a cold perspective, but it is also practical one. I assure you, I am not a cold-hearted SOB.
There is also the factor of developing attachment, as previously mentioned. Before she met me, my Ex had two children from previous relationships. We were married, and I was the only stable father figure in their lives. It wasn't my objective to take on that role - some step-parents expect the children to call them 'Mom' or 'Dad' even though this is not who they are. Austin and Elizabeth called me by my name: Daniel. When my Ex and I were divorced, I had no rights.
There is also the hurtful things they sometimes say when they see you again: they try to push you away because they don't want to get hurt again, much in the same way that you were hurt at the end of the relationship. In my case, I was told by Austin that he liked my Ex's new boyfriend better. Though I knew that he didn't mean it, it still stung.
Lastly, there is also the issue of combining the children of both parents, and both parents, into a new family unit. A few examples of this has already been given. I don't know about the rest of you, but when I start dating someone I want it to become a lasting relationship. That's why the idea of dating someone with two or more children gives me pause - I'm trying to look at the future. I don't want to go through the pain of divorce ever again. | |
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| Comments from the Peanut Gallery
Posted: 9/29/2005 10:18:06 AM | I understand what you are saying and agree to certain extent, but the children didn't ask to be placed in this situation either. If you met the right woman and she has raised and taken care of her children while single than she most likely is not looking for a daddy for her kids. If she is and still would raise and support her kids, whats the difference one child or four children.
Like I said I understand what you are saying about the practicality of living arangements but if she can afford a tow or three bedroom home and you can afford a two or three bedroom home. Then it should still be easier finantialy to combine a household and afford a four bedroom home. Right? | |
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| Comments from the Peanut Gallery
Posted: 9/29/2005 10:31:59 AM | So very well put Berdusk989..
I too want a lasting relationship.. I have 4 years and my last one will be 18. But intil that happens I would like to work on a relationship. I mean damnit I don't want to meet someone go out on a couple of dates move in with one another. It takes time to get to know one another and I want to know with whom i might share the rest of my life with... But right now i want to play the field and find someone who is willing to work on a relationship until my last one is 18 and then talk about marriage..
Oh and thanks for the honesty... the chicks dig it! | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 9/29/2005 10:33:54 AM | Oh it isn't so much the kids I don't think...I think that perhaps for some it is the not having time to really get out and meet a wide range of folks. I am in Montana, a place with more cows than people and roads you can drive all day and not see anyone else on. As a graduate student I meet a lot of people and even end up with girls intersted...till they find out I am a custodial single dad. All the women/girls who would be interested are a long ways form Montana and not likely to want to move here away from their families and such.
Being cynical doesn't help anyone anywhere I don't think. It is just as hard or harder for single custodial dads since most women automatically think we are married or have a significant other when they see us with our kids. I just think tha some day the right one will show up. In the meantime I am going to try and not get cynical, keep a good outlook, and have fun with my kids. Life is too short not to.
Make it a Great Day! | |
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| Comments from the Peanut Gallery
Posted: 9/29/2005 10:39:50 AM | | lol,, Hey I DIG Honesty.. Some people can't deal with it.. They think your being mean or something.... where r u from Berdusk? | |
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| Comments from the Peanut Gallery
Posted: 9/29/2005 1:19:43 PM | | i just got an email from a guy ...no names mentioned ...stating that the reason that guys dont like to date women with kids is men are selfish and want the women all to them selfs and not want to share....there for a woman with kids is a no go casue he would have to share her with her children and not have her to himself all the time | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 9/29/2005 2:16:54 PM | | Not only did I date a woman with a kid, I ended up marrying her and raising her son for the next 14 years happily. So yes, there are still some of us men out here that will date women with kids. I did it once and would certainly do it again. It is difficult I can imagine to find agrea guy willing to take on a situation like that, but if you find one and he treats you and the kid(s) good then that is just proof and a win-win situation. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 9/29/2005 3:42:56 PM | | Every woman I've dated in the last three years has had children. I don't plan it that way, it just seems to happen. There must be some hidden single parent magnet in some of us. I have my two children full time and anyone who dates me knows that up front. As to the "when they meet the kids" question, it varies depending on the circumstances. It is a concern because my 16 y/o daughter gets attached very quickly and I definitely don't want to hurt her! I'll just keep looking till I find that special one. If she has kids too, that's just a plus, since where there are more people, there is more love to go around! | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 9/29/2005 5:47:27 PM | | I don't mind dating a woman with kids .. I have'nt had any in the house for 6 yr.s .. So I like the quiet Now LoL and the lower food bill lol .. If the kids are polite, respectful to their mom ! I enjoy them .. Being a guy boys are a plus lol cause as a B/Friend U can relate and most times find a common ground and enjoy boys company and do things with them so they feel part of things too .. If their older teen treats mom like a dog then as a boy U can snatch his ass up shake him good wake him up to the real world lol .. Single mom raiseing kids and they don't appreshate her for it or cuss her just makes my hair on my neck stand up lol | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 9/30/2005 8:34:18 AM | Being divorced and/or having kids is a filter for some people. I'm sure that once I start dating again my selection of single (no children) datees will be very limited while single datees w/ children more broad.
I'll likely prefer the company of a girlie w/ kids for the reason stated above, they better understand my life.
Finally, I suppose the best place for *people* w/ kids to look for dates would be their local playground. :-D | |
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