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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 6/26/2006 2:08:18 PM | A funny: my 2 sons are 14 years apart. When my older son & his buddy wanted to meet girls, they took my young son to the Mall with them. They met lots of girls, & my older son is VERY protective of his brother, so I didn't worry about their safety.
But it may be more difficult for me, I think, to meet a man with or w/o kids because I'm not a spring chicken anymore.
I was very attracted to a man near me who had a son, he was soo sexy...but he prefered petite blondes.
Now he's married to the petitie blonde, & has 5 boys...
Hope to find a man in my area with or w/o kids at home who likes not-petite blondes or redheads!
moondance56
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 6/26/2006 2:13:25 PM | yes... well... they don't date us, they want to see us thats the difference. The only ones who will see us are ones with kids themselves.
Keep the hope up... good men are out there. They seem to come when we're not looking too! | |
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| RE: do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 6/26/2006 2:15:39 PM | I never expect any man to pay for my child...not even his bio-dad. I was the one who chose to have him; I was the one who chose to leave an verbally abusive/ drug & alcohol style relationship. That makes me & no one else responsible. (I consider him my miracle baby~ a male Dr told me I could never get pregnant again when I had a miscarriage. Is that TMI?)
My son is interested in learning about being a man, & thank goodness we have a male PCP.
But a male role model is good & healthy, so long as he wants to be a role model. I wouldn't push it on to anyone! His Dad should be, but has health issues, lives in a different state, & told me via email he didn't know what to say, how to respond, & wasn't sure he wanted to get close. His loss.....eh?
Thanx!
moondance56
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 6/26/2006 6:07:55 PM | yeh we do exsist actually i dated a girl about four years ago that had three kids two boys and a girl the kids and i have gotten along great and there mother was happy that her kids had developed a good relationship with me and that made it even better for me and there mom to grow even closer.. so yeh i have no problem with it ..take this the good way every girl i met has at least one or two kids.. so yeh were out there.. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 6/26/2006 7:41:42 PM | If seen many threads like this and I saw post in another thread that states the situation quite well it reads something like “I've seen in many threads as this one is that most single moms demand a lot, but are not willing to reciprocate the effort. It's "He must give everything for me, I must give everything for my children". He will be expected to give, give, give, but if he dares to ask for some reciprocation, he will be labeled as "shallow", "jerk" and other nice things.
Perhaps if some of these women were to put in a relationship the same amount of effort they demand, they would get somebody. After all, you can't expect that somebody will accept to make her his #1, in exchange for her making him her #2,3,4 or 5.” | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 6/26/2006 8:48:15 PM | | Actually there are a lot of factors to consider with this question. First off, is it really because you have kids that you can't get a date??? Come on, don't use the kids as a scapegoat. What you are really saying is "oh, I sacrificed my personal life to be a parent." Get real! Dating isn't such a big deal anyway. Why blame being a parent for having no social life when being a parent is better than having a social life. Really, there are only other people with different views on raising children anyway. Of course you can't make it work. One mother pulled out the wooden spoon.......GOOD-BYE!!! Myself,....I swear to much. I like things neat and clean. Others may not really care about that. My priorities differ greatly from yours and you have your own way of doing things. Just stay single and wait till you are desperate enough to sleep with someone you know isn't a good fit. Try and make it work so you can have regular sex untill you can't take it anymore. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 6/26/2006 9:08:19 PM | Homeboy: What you are really saying is "oh, I sacrificed my personal life to be a parent." Get real! Dating isn't such a big deal anyway. Why blame being a parent for having no social life when being a parent is better than having a social life.
I kinda resent this comment that you make. I dont blame the kids for not being able to get a date. I dont date because i have kids. When I became a parent as we all know we change our lives... I was married at the time, and we mellowed out on the lifestyle that we lived... I just happened to grow up a little faster than their father.
Anyways back to the dating comment... I chose not to date as I did not want my children thinking that a womans door is revolving...
I want them to grow up to respect woman and respect relationships. I have had a few relationships and most of them ended with bitterness as some do. The kids got attached and the break up hurt them just as much as me. At that point I came to the conclusion that until they were off living their lives as teens, I would not put them through that pain again... | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 6/27/2006 3:07:58 AM | sure they do, if i was to date a women without kids, i doubt it'd be serious. i would much rather date a single mum, not only does she understand that you are not always available, but you also get to see her children and how she is around them.
to be honest though, if i didn't have kids, i wouldn't look at a women with kids. i've known guys who are step dads though without any kids of thier own. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 6/27/2006 3:14:39 AM | lurvaboy
Thats real sweet of you and your right its intresting to be around someone who has kids and see how they are with their own kids that way you could get a better light on how he/she will be around your kids, and what type of person they are.(5:16am...srry) | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 6/27/2006 3:26:52 AM | I would be more than willing to date women with kids, but if they are older than 10 or so, i think it would be very difficult for the kids to accept a new man in their mother's life. When kids are young, they get used to a new situation very quickly, and don't overanalyze things. When kids get close to their teens, it gets much harder for them to accept someone new.
When dating a mother, its almost like you are also dating the kids. If they hate you, or you hate them, then it would be almost impossible for he relationship to work.
My father left my mother a few weeks before i was born, so i never knew him. It was quite easy for me to accept it when my mother found someone new. I think i was around 10 at the time. My oldest brother was 6 when my father left, so it was different for him. Even at that young age, he assumed the role of "man of the house", and it was quite hard on him to accept my mother having a man in her life.
Often, men who don't have kids of their own will not date a woman with kids because all they see are the negative aspects of kids. Mostly money issues. What they don't see is the joy that kids bring which usually far outweighs the pains that also come with kids. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 6/27/2006 7:44:01 AM | YES ,WHY I,M A SINGLE MOM OFF 2 GREAT GIRLS,AND MEN ARE SO INTO ONE THING.OH THEY WANT YOU , AND BABY YOU ARE SO GREAT YES YOU ARE THE ONE FOR ME,THEN ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,NEWS,OH BY THE WAY I HAVE 2 GIRLS,OH MY GOD.THEY START GETTING STUPID,WELL YOU KNOW ,YES I KNOW.I KNOW I HAVE SOME-THING TOO OFTERAND SO DO MY CHILDREN GOOD UP BRINGING,THATS WHAT IM INTO.THANKS      | |
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Ponoka
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Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 687 | |
| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 6/27/2006 8:37:54 AM | Yes Virginia (or whoever started this topic) we do exist.
In fact, I will only date women with kids - since they are the only ones that understand life with kids. I have a son.
It's much like only dating college grads because you are a college grad, or harley riders because you ride a harley - it's something in common, a point of reference in life.
Dating with kids is difficult - far more so than when I wasn't a dad, but let me tell you, I meet a far better quality of woman now because of it. I meet women who have had to take life head on and know that love is a permanent thing. I meet women who understand sacrifice and the feelings of frustration and joy that go with being a parent.
So, keep your head up, guys like me will come along.
Cheers. | |
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Titian
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Joined: 6/23/2006
Msg: 689 | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 6/27/2006 2:21:41 PM | I apologise if this has been brought up before, but:
do women actually exist that date men with kids??
Yes it works both ways. Single parents are looked upon as people with baggage, that is why we will only attract other single parents.
I feel that that female single parents have it easier when it comes to dating (this does not mean easy in other respects as being a single parent of any gender is one of the most challenging things in life), as there are not so many men with kids. I am always up front and honest my kids are important to me and if there is no one who would accept them I would rather be single until they are old enough to leave home. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 6/27/2006 6:26:37 PM | | i think that they run because they want to be kids themselves. if u woman with kids thinks it's hard, imagine this:how about if u have a disable child. believe me when i tell u that they run faster. | |
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JudiH
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Joined: 6/18/2006
Msg: 698 | |
| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 6/27/2006 8:17:08 PM | I think ALL single parents have the rough end of the deal. We didn't ask to be put in the position of doing the parenting on our own, life just happens!
I have 3 boys and I have tried dating on and off, I have dated single guys (generally they think that it's and instant dad thing then beak it off when it gets too comfortable) also I have dated some single dad's. Well, it just seems that single dad's want a woman to take over for them (my experience's, don't get mad) or they want to change things to suit their way of life.
I believe there is give and take in this whole thing. So, sorry I have no sure fired answer for anyone. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 6/27/2006 8:34:37 PM | "of course we exist, and i dont want to say this to ignore the frustration of single mothers, but more to empathize, guys with children do have the same problem... "
I agree with you and your correct single dads have just as many problems as us single moms have.....whatever happend to the people who acturally, cared about others feelings?.....
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DareHD
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Joined: 6/14/2006
Msg: 700 | |
| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 6/27/2006 9:19:43 PM | Some men will date women with kids, but here are the scenarios as I see it as reasons a man with no kids won't like to date or get seriously involved with a woman who has kids:
1) Many (or maybe most) women with Kids aren't as physically attractive anymore (pregnancy can do alot of harm to the body), so men aren't as attracted to the woman. Most men are very visual compared to women on first impression.
2) Men who have no kids may prefer a women with no kids because they want to start their own family and don't want to deal with the baggage of the X and/or the kids.
3) Women with kids are much more restricted in what they can do and when they can do it, and the man (with no kids) will never be number 1 in the woman's life. Men want attention, too, but the kids are always #1 priority to the mother (which they should be).
4) The man with no kids may not want a woman who has already made the choice to have a child (which is a very special bond) with another man. They may prefer a women who hasn't made that choice yet and is still open.
5) The man might not want kids at all and just not want to deal with it.
6) It's just generally more of a hassle for the single man with no kids (goes back to the baggage issue). They can easily end up just being a person who is "there" to cart the kids around, and help the woman raise them. Definately not the same feeling if they aren't your own kids.
Now, having said all of that, there are men out there who WILL honestly and openly date women with kids. I have done it myself and I am prepared to do it again. But there has to be a balance there and the relationship between the man and the woman very strong, and continually strong, and there has to be alot of flexiblity on both sides.
Unfortunately most of the time it doesn't work out, even with the original man :)
Darren | |
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