| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 7/6/2006 9:09:01 PM | | well i dont know about others but i do know that me personally i dont mind if a woman has kids or not...if they do that just means that they have more love to spread...i for one would perfer a woman with kids because that means that they can handle responsabilities and i just enjoy being around kids....so yes i do think that there are men u date women with kids | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 7/6/2006 10:08:48 PM | We are out there just hard to find. Most are just worried about the fathers and if they are headed into a brick wall or a bomb set to explode in any minute..............so hang in there
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 7/7/2006 2:26:20 AM | Many of us are not unwilling to date women with kids--I don't mind, personally.
The problem is that if you date a woman with kids, it follows that you may get attached to those kids. Then, if it doesn't work out betwen the man and woman, you find yourself cut off from them as well--and it's not great for the kids, either, especially if the man and the kids hit it off. Some men are reluctant to get attached to a woman's kids for that reason. I would imagine the same thing is true for women dating single fathers.
A lot of men will try to keep a distance between themselves and the children until they have some confidence about the relationship.
Personally, I consider it a calculated risk. Besides, if you exclude single mothers from your pool of available dating prospects you've already put yourself at a disadvantage, because there are so many out there. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 7/7/2006 9:02:20 AM | Yes there are Tonz of men out there that will take on the responsibility of the kids as well.. why do you think that there are so many step dad's out there???¿¿¿ I grew up with my step dad.. my mom had multiple boyfriends. i got a long with each and every one of them. there is someone out there for everyone.. dont give up.. love is a very important thing to have.. im a single mom too.. im not searching right now though. i enjoy my days alone. and when mr. right walks by my front doorstep, ill be there to snag him before anyone else does.. just kidding | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 7/7/2006 11:06:48 AM | Thank you Drachnar for echoing my thoughts and concerns, because I still feel that no body wants to see this angle, of their dating practices. Maybe, they feel too guilty! Yah, it's just great, when it works out, but look at the Stats! Chances are it won't. Sorry if this sounds so negative.
And humans, being the way they are (ultimately self serving, generally speaking). There's always talk of protecting the children. Keeping them out of the picture at first. And then there's always the issue of when to let them become aware of another partner in the bedroom. I have found, that the intention is always the best, and then personal desires, cut this process way short. I guess, I'm just as guilty, in this regard.
Anyway, I know my presence, and then lack thereof has hurt and confused children, even more then they probably have been hurt and confused by their situation already.
I also know, that I have suffered the loss of not only the woman, but her children as well. And, as a single guy, I find myself alone again, but realize that the woman is at least in the company of her children, and living, in many respects, as always!. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 7/7/2006 12:17:27 PM | | Yes we are out here. I have 3 of my own and wonder the same thing back. At least that to start would be something in common for both parties. And it is tough to find people sometimes with the same things in common. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 7/7/2006 8:39:49 PM | | There are men out there that are willing to take on the whole package deal - but i think they are few and far between. Its a lot to expect - to accept someone elses kids-but it all comes down to the fact that if the relationship you are in is a good one and has potential - and you believe you can make each other happy - then kids from a previous relationship really shouldnt be an issue. I would never expect someone to support my kids financially or replace their dad -[hell - no-one could do that] -lol. Just to be a friend to them - have some fun times with-and be part of the family without strings attached. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 7/7/2006 10:58:14 PM | | Yes we do! I have dated women with kids! I enjoyed her children as much as I did her! They were great kids! I helped her take care of her kids! I helped her take the to the doctors,shopping ,zoo and etc. I think a woman that puts her children first is a very intelligent woman and a awesome mother! I have only dated one woman that used her kids to gain things for herself. I feel sorry for her children but I had to get out of that relationship! To sum it all up I think any good man would have no problem with a woman with children! | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 7/8/2006 12:05:09 PM | | yes we do exist. as a man with no children. it doesnt matter to me if she has a child or not. i would be more than happy to have a lady with a child. though i might never be their father bio speaking but i can and would be more than happy to be their dad. you cant blame the mother for what happened in the past. i just accept it and live live happily as a family and enjoy all the benefits of having a child in the relaionship. and treat them as they was my own. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 7/8/2006 5:57:40 PM | | This is bikerchic06,and i have two beautiful girls,6 and 4...and i have found out that there are alot of men who dont mind kids.Older men are the ones to look at.Older man usually have kids anyways,plus they understand what a single women has to go through.Yes im still dating only because i am picking about finding a man to bring home to my kids.Seems like no one is good enough..Trust me they are out there,just try looking at 10 years older then you.BUt im not dissin the younger generation ither,some of them are attracted to single moms cause they are kids themselves too.. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 7/8/2006 6:28:22 PM |
I would never expect someone to support my kids financially or replace their dad
I don't think most people expect that initially, but over time, the single guy is probably going to add into the financial mix for a single mothers kids and provide some kind of influence, intentional or not, over those children.
I think its easy to say - 'Ok, I don't want anything out of you if this doesn't work out' but can you really say that?
If you got in a bad accident and couldn't work anymore and your kids needed food and a roof over their heads, and collection agencies were after you and bills stacked up real high, would you still feel that way?
If a single mother has a choice between her kids starving or dragging you into Family Court for child support, even if its not your kids, then wear leather pants, because you will be dragged a long long way. And I can't really blame a single mother for doing whatever it took, no matter who it hurt, to feed her kids.
No one knows what tommorrow brings, you could be in a great job that pays twice as much as now in five years. Or you could get hit by a bus and end up in a wheelchair for life. The problem for single men is they really don't have a choice. If they've lived with you and payed a few bills, they are on the hook. The government doesn't want to pay for those kids. Sorry to be so blunt, but many men just don't want to be locked into that kind of situation.
If you look at POF, there are a ton of Canadian women here. More than the eye can see. Canada is extremely punitive for divorces and common law situations. I have no doubt plenty of men just walk the other way when they see single mothers up there now. Fertility clinics are facing shortages of sperm donors now, no one knows if litigation will essentially put them on the hook for children born from their donated sperm. Basic economics, when you increase the cost of a commodity ( dating a single mother) then consumers will look for other substitutes or do without.
Theres are many reasons why single guys don't date single mothers for the long term. One of them is the risk of being hosed in Family Court for the rest of your life or go to jail. I really think single mothers have to put themselves into the shoes of single men here and realize there are other factors besides emotional that play into who might date you or not. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 7/8/2006 6:54:49 PM | @sparky ...
Hi im a single man never married and no children though i do love them and if you have children that is ok with me. Now here is a man with heart. Ladies ... that quote is from his profile ... the first line.
as a man with no children. it doesnt matter to me if she has a child or not. i would be more than happy to have a lady with a child. though i might never be their father bio speaking but i can and would be more than happy to be their dad. I dance with a man who did just what "sparky" said he was capable of doing.
When his best friend died suddenly, he became a source of moral support to his best friend's wife and the children ... they had all suffered greatly by the loss. She was about 5 months pregnant with her deceased husband's 5th child. A tragic thing for her and absolutely devasting! No doubt ... it contributed to them being drawn to each other in many ways.
Prior to this tragedy he had never been married. End of the story:
Shortly after the baby was born ... he married her and they have been happily married now for many many years. Of course, this is an exception. It also occurs to me that as this gentleman was already known to the family ... the children who had just lost their dear father were quite comfortable with this man's presence and he did not have to struggle to win their confidence as "Mom's new mate".
But the point is ... it takes a big heart to do something like that. Certainly it takes a person who can just love unconditionally. I know there are many men out there like "sparky" and the gentleman I spoke of.
On the flip side, I know many ladies with no children of their own ... welcoming single fathers into their lives in the same spirit as described above. Whenever I hear such a story or actually experience the result of it ... it always renews my faith in the love and caring we humans are capable of.
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 7/10/2006 8:48:04 AM | I'll say to the subject!
IN the last 2years. I've dated probably 8 people and of the 8. 5 Had kids...Some didn't want any more and some did. The ones I flat out didn't work out with were the woman without kids.
I would rather date a single mom then a single woman without children. Single mom's seem to be more on the ball and more mature and not so much into the party'n anymore.
I've found Single moms actually know how to express themselfs and Don't seem to judge as badly as single woman do. Single moms seem to know that "stuff" in life isn't given to them on plater anymore and because so are more humble.
Usually Single MOM are the nicest of woman and know excatly what they want! | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 7/10/2006 9:39:21 AM | well if they don't its their tough luck as they will missing out on lots of good ladies,just because we have kids don't mean we our out of bounds or hard work,most of us ladies have come this far without any help,SO TOALL YOU MEN who say i wouldnt date a ladie with children your LOST you will be the one missing out on lots of good things. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 7/10/2006 1:08:52 PM | | There is nothing wrong with a man dating a woman that has 2 (or more) kids whether they be infants, preschoolers, teens or whatever. People are people no matter how many kids they have. if you want to date the mother, you have to accept mom and kids as one package. My present g/f is dating me and she knows about my first daughter. We had twins together, and unfortunately as of June8 / 06, they were killed in a car crash. We lost 3 girls that day our twin 14 mth old daughters and their 9 yr old sister whom I loved as though she were my own daughter. We are proud to say that we are 10 weeks pregnant as of this week. If I can do it, then it proves that there are men out there that accept woman and children as a package. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 7/10/2006 8:15:35 PM | ^^^^^^^^^@anjori ...
Just exactly where is this woman with kids that you have chosen to date?
OT: This might be off topic, but I'd date a man with kids ... however at my age, they would probably all be grown and out of the house. I do enjoy being a grandma!
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jyles
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Joined: 3/15/2005
Msg: 796 | |
| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 7/11/2006 12:13:07 AM | Absolutely, I am a single father on one boy,(man now) and have dated women with kids before. The only thing is for me that I get too attached and when if doesn't work out I get crushed, and the kids get really hurt. Especially when the kids are young. It shouldnt stop you though, ya gotta keep goin or you wind up alone and bitter.
A freind told me something along time ago that really stuck.
"Anyone can father a child, but it takes a real man to be a Dad!!"
If you have love for yourself and can be open to someone elses kids, you will find what it is a great experience and absolutely worth it. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 7/12/2006 6:43:29 PM | | People stop blaming your lack of dates on your kids!!!!!!!!! Yes there are millions of men out there who date single mothers. I am a single mother who has more dates than i know what to do with, yes i admit there is a shortage of quality men but wether you have kids or not has nothing to do with it, the difference is i don't cram my kids down there throats, they date me not my kids and when and if any of these relationships turn serious that when they will meet my kids and not before!!!!!!!!! | |
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