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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 8/1/2006 1:14:34 PM | | I have found one man that would date me ,he was here moved in on my kids then left not even 6 months later to be with someone else i guess he want man enough to deal with kids ,I hope that one day i will find the right man who will date me even though i have kids i would not have any trouble dating a guy with kids so why do guys have a problem i wounder | |
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Ognir
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Joined: 6/30/2006
Msg: 877 | |
| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 8/1/2006 8:20:02 PM | sure they do, or at least I would.
I have no problem dating a woman with older kids than my own, or even maybe no kids, but dating someone with kids around the same age as my own, I feel would be great for the relationship | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 8/2/2006 8:24:09 AM | When I was in college, my girlfriend had a son who was one year older than me.
Kids are not a problem, especially when one of the adults has no children. The problem is when both have children. It is very challenging to have the children bond. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 8/2/2006 1:00:15 PM | r2saunders....You might think that im a bit of a smart ass when you read my response and im sorry! First of all...most of us women with children TRIED to make it work with our "baby's daddy" but sometimes its in the best interest of the children to be apart. I for one have NEVER asked a man to be RESPONSIBLE for my children or be a daddy to them...they have one who i get along with very well! Im doing very well on my own as a single mom of 6 years now,as im sure many others are too.. I have a severly disabled child and my other is very intelligent. There is more love in my home than you could EVER imagine! Do you have kids? What's the difference in US making it work with the baby's daddy and YOU(men) making it work with the baby's mama??? NOT MUCH! I understand about being hurt by both the ADULT and hurting because you will not be able to see those children again. BUT HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU DONT TAKE THE CHANCE???? Seems to me that you might be scared of RESPONSIBILITY and im not talking about with children im talking about with yourself! you should really think about what you said and maybe try it, a relationship with a woman with children just might be what god has planned for you!!
have a great afternoon!
Robyn | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 8/6/2006 8:08:33 AM | | actually I find dating a women with kids easier because I have kids and they will know the trouble, frustration and pleasure that kids are, plus they know the time and effort that it takes to try and produce a good person ready for the outside world. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 8/6/2006 8:34:45 AM | Of course they do.
I think it just takes time. If they like you they will make an effort with your children.
I have dated guys that had kids & had no kids.
I have a teenage daughter & for the most part they all made an effort. The problems that ensued were not from the fact that I had a child it was because we did not mesh as a couple. If things are working out with the two adults you are able to tackle 'issues' together as they arise.
Don't loose faith, you just haven't found the right guy to appreciate you yet, be patient & it will come. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 8/6/2006 12:06:59 PM | | Women like me don't need a man like you, my ex-husband is a dead beat dad, but I can provide for my own children, and you have the wrong attitude for entering into a realationship, you sound like your bitter, as for money you can't take it with you, we are all put here to enjoy life and to have a good time. As for me you can keep your money. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 8/6/2006 3:08:06 PM | I know that, but men come on and say that women with children with dead beat dads are only looking for money, it makes me crazy. There are some wonderful guys out there and I'm looking!!!!
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 8/6/2006 3:21:55 PM | Im sure there might be 1 or 2 women out there who think life owes them something,
but then theres a million or more , who are just trying to get by and raise they er
kid s in a decient way, I just waiting in NY hope I can run into one of these girl s | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 8/6/2006 5:07:48 PM | | WOnders why this is only pointed to men.... I know women who refuse to date a guy that already has kids. I love kids... I have 3 teens, and I would love to take on a bigger family. The more the merrier!! | |
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klc58
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Joined: 3/27/2005
Msg: 888 | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 8/7/2006 12:45:47 PM | I just started dating a woman who has a 2.5 year old daughter. Off the bat, and even with some thought, I don't have a problem with kids. I never dated a woman I wanted something serious with, who had kids, even though I'm great with kids... and this woman is the first, and she is a dream woman, and we've got something strong going.
However, having a kid presents different *situational* problems than one may think entering into it for the first time. At first, you just think that the woman doesn't or can't get out quite as much, or that you'll have to spend time with the kid on normal casual days. There are many guys who wouldn't mind this whatsoever (me included). Additionally, many women who have kids have matured, and can be less superficial and more down to earth than they once were.
Sounds great so far, right? Well, it's a lot like a woman living a long ways away. After you see her for a bit, you realize that it's going to have to jump to serious if it's going to continue (unless both aiming specifically for a fling).
When we get involved in a relationship with someone, we are not just bringing someONE into our lives, we are bringing the core of their lives into our lives (and vice versa). A great woman could be living in a desert with broadband internet and couldn't move away -- should she be surprised if she can't start a real relationship with a great guy who lives far away in a forest?
With Long Distance Relationships, a lot of people, their first times say "I know LD relationships don't work a lot, but mine is different..." But they realize that life isn't a romantic comedy or drama aimed to entertain audiences, and the real world doesn't revolve around their lives.
Same goes with kids. I think some guys see the positives of a woman with a child -- her being down to earth, less likely to be running around town, etc. -- and think there's no problem for them at all. I have some thoughts in the back of my mind... My girlfriend lives almost 2 hours away -- and has a child. It's a semi-long distance I can temporarily handle for a while no problem, since we're both busy people... but the child is a concern, because this woman is so great, I can't help to envision the future with her (hence, her life too). Her child is her #1 thing, and I wonder if it will be a one-way street in that I will end up adopting her life into mine (with no room for it also being vice versa). I also wonder if I am mentally ready at this point in my life to help raise a child, and be a father-like figure, and adjusting everything to do so on a proper level. I admit, it's not something I would want right now -- which is why many single guys out there w/o kids who have dating options will go for the woman without kids first. Dating alone can be hard already for some!
It changes the nature of the relationship and my life in a serious way, outside of JUST her. I take kids very seriously, in a good way, mind you. Some women with kids may lose sight of this, from the guy's perspective coming in. Many single guys without kids can't handle jumping 100% into such a situation through many times of their lives, and it should be understandable. Maybe they could 4 years ago, or 4 years in the future. It's whether it meshes the time and part of their lives where they can.
Anyway, my girlfriend is a great woman. The kind that I've always wanted -- but she does have a child. Her child is adorable (and of course, a handful too). I do have the feeling that it's a lot like becoming serious with a woman, then you both adopt a child, with her having custody (if there could be any summarized fictional analogy). It makes ya think -- which is why I'm checking out these forums! :) | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 8/8/2006 12:34:18 AM | We are talking about "dating" here. Not marriage, not a daddy for our children. Just a man that can accept our children the same as they accept us! It really doesn't sound like you'd be a guy to date if one did have children. You have a grupmy smilie & a thunms down, sounds pretty negative to me! I'd definately pass if I came across you! My children have a daddy that loves them very much, and we have everything we need plus more! Not looking for a guy to spend money on me or my kids! I don't 'date' because of how frustrating & time & energy wasting the whole scene is! I'll just raise my kids & when someone comes along, great! Blessings! Oh yeah, been single for over 3 1/2 years & I'd much rather have a massage than sex!  | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 8/8/2006 2:22:51 AM | | i really want to know if they exist also? you talk to a guy...everything is going good then they find out cuz you tell them that you have kids or are pregnant and its a whole diffrent ball game then... | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 8/8/2006 4:17:35 AM | Most of the problem with dating single parents is you will never have the person to yourself alone to grow and learn about each other just the two of you. In some cases the ex's create alot of tension and complications. One other point, not to bad mouth single mom's, but alot of the single mom's I have met there children are out of control, and nobody wants to walk through fields with land mines. Teenagers from hell especially teenage girls, whoa nelly it is one of the most difficult times for a parent when children become teens and even more difficult when the teens are not yours. I don't mean to sound so negative about single parents Love is strong enough to overcome anything as long as everyone involved is on the same page and have given forgiveness. Single parents just need to understand that what they are asking for from someone new is alot to handle. I would say that alot of one on one dating is necessary before introducing the children. Ready made families when children are young is much much more easier for the new partner. This subject could go on forever so that is it for me.
Sammy | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 8/8/2006 9:59:05 AM | I am not being the devil's advocate here, but it seems that you ladies don't care to date men that don't have children. Do you think that is fair to those of us who have strong families, but want children in a happy home, so we have opted not to have them yet? Most of us men/women parent by example, that is the example given by our parents. I know many men that would be great parents to possibly someone else's children. Myself being one of them, and I had a very extraordinary father and mother. I disagree with you Dawn, about you being both mother and father to your kids. Thats just not possible, your a mother, that has to fill both roles. Only a man can be a father, that may sound chauvanistic but it's true. In todays world I believe children are the one's getting the short end of the stick, having to grow up and not have both. I color myself lucky, I had both and am very well suited to be a father, but my old fashioned values are not wanted today, so till they turn the clock back about 25 yrs I am just stuck in the future I guess.
Bob aka busterrm | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 8/8/2006 10:14:25 AM | Amen SammyDean,
Talk about hitting the nail on the proverbail head! I have dated several women, that have out of control kids young and also teens. You, have to watch your step, and before you know it, your the last one considered in any given situation. And that is just not right!
I dated a woman about 6 yrs ago, and her son was starting high school, and had that big ego, and started talking s*** to his mother and let him have for his cussing at his mother, bringing drugs into her house, making idol threats of hurting her...... Well to make a long story short who got their ass chewed out? It most certainly wasnt the out of control teen, it was me! That one didn't last very long.
So you see Dawn, there is allot of things to consider when you ask a man to date you. You may feel like your the one getting burned, but it also happens to the men that date women with children. In todays world, its hard to date anybody that doesn't have children, so alot of the time, those of us who have a great deal to offer any lady, are reluctant to even give it a try after being losing at the same ole game, time and time again.
Dawn, you need to be patient, good men are out there! Don't push it, stop looking, mr nice guy will show up and might even shock you when he shows up on the scene. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 8/8/2006 10:36:06 AM | LOL Well obviously I have the same question. I have a post here called "what would you do" with a email I recieved on the site here. You should read it. There are quite a lot of freaks on here, both male and female. And us as single parents need to exercise more caution on out decisions simply because we do have children.
Good luck to all you single parents out there. :) | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 8/8/2006 11:28:32 AM | newferyou,
We are talking about "dating" here. Not marriage, not a daddy for our children. Just a man that can accept our children the same as they accept us!
When dating extends into more than *just* dating, and into a serious relationship, then it isn't just hanging out romantically (ie "just" dating). Having a serious relationship means your lives end up meshing together. It doesn't take living together (ie marriage) to have this happen significantly, but an intense relationship where virtually all your time is spent with one another. More importantly, it isn't just "accepting our children" as if they're pets. Some guys actually take children very seriously, as many women do, and at certain ages of children, sharing your lives with their mothers (or fathers) is a significant impact on both lives.
It really doesn't sound like you'd be a guy to date if one did have children. You have a grupmy smilie & a thunms down, sounds pretty negative to me!
Grumpy smile, thumbs down, negative? Because I observe situations that aren't happy-go-lucky for many, when it comes to the topic of serious relationships? That's not negative... it's about being aware of the possible negatives and observing how other guys react and comparing it to myself since it's my first time. That awareness allows it to be positive for the long run... I would call that mature. :)
I don't 'date' because of how frustrating & time & energy wasting the whole scene is!
Don't be so negative! ;)
My children have a daddy that loves them very much, and we have everything we need plus more! Not looking for a guy to spend money on me or my kids!
That's not my fear when it comes to women with kids... no more than some women looking for a sugar-daddy or something, which you can usually sense after a bit of time. Some women don't have kids who have a daddy to turn to... some women aren't conciously looking for a daddy replacement, but at certain ages of their offspring, that will play a role to some degree if the relationship is serious. All the situations are different, and for the same reason you not wanting to go out and 'date', a lot of guys (and girls) will passively step aside from possible run-of-the-mill dating opportunities with people who have kids if they don't. Of course, my girlfriend is awesome... looking ahead in sharing lives, which it is on the direct course for, makes me think about that, as I would be placed in a family life right-off-the-bat. That's a big change, and it takes some reflection as to whether I'm ready for that, given my current situation, even though I'm great with kids. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 8/8/2006 5:53:24 PM | I just wanted to add my thoughts on this subject, because I am also a single mom of 2 wonderful girls and dating. I have been in reationships with guys who are single and guys who have kids. It is all like any relationship, you have to communicate, adjust to eachothers way of living and respect one another. We as single parents have already build some sort of wall around our hearts, so now we are searching for that one person to knock them down, which makes our search more difficult. We know what we want and that sometimes scare people.
But to all the single parents out there, we just all need to get together for one special event, find babysitters and go have a blast. Who knows, we may find what we are looking for... | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 8/8/2006 6:07:49 PM | | Angel... That sounds like a wonderful idea. I think it is so important that everyone have a support system. Someone who understands what you are going through. And it is oh so important for single parents to get out on their own with out their children. We need our own identity other than just "so-and-so's mom/dad". I find that if I can get out one every couple weeks or so that I am such a better mom. I have more patience with my girls and enjoy my job as mom even more. | |
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