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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 10/18/2006 4:02:50 PM | Ya your not getting alot of dates are ya. 
How about instead of getting that backbone so far up you actually put something here that will intelligent and directed to both genders with and without children.
Look, I have 2 wonderful children - one of which lives with me still ( an 8 year old prince charming ) I have not had any problem finding men who will date me even though I have children. My problem is some of these guys have never had children and have no idea how it is. They do not understand that we can not just drop everything and go. Spontaneous takes on a whole new meaning with single parents. No matter whether you are Mom OR Dad!.
Sure there are men who will not date women with kids but DAMN! don't kid yourself...there are plenty of women out there that will not date these men who step up to the plate and have their children and take on the responsibility. I have seen it myself because god knows if they have kids how will they ever spend all their time and money on themmm.... I have seen it. People - it goes both ways for men and women.
I find I am now looking for a father who has his kids in his life fulltime or part time because they understand more about me and how things change for us single parents.
All I can say is that ol' addage is tru - Patience is a virtue.
I wish all of you - no children or with children - very good luck and the best in your search and dreams.
Kat
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 10/18/2006 5:39:12 PM | missed the point all the way... reread my ad and the see what i said. "i" as a single dad, fulltime single dad. said what i did and ment it. most women do not want my child around if theirs are there. they (women ) want us guys to love and care for there children but not ours.
it is going to get worse now cause i am adopting 2 more little ones. so i will have 3 kids in my home that no woman wants any part of. what now? please tell me? am i to grow cold and do like some of the other guys do? hit on women, get drunk,run around in them?
nope! i don't think so. i am not that kind of person. never have and never will...
thanks for your insite and may you have a great day! | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 10/18/2006 6:35:30 PM | | Yes, there are. I am one of them in fact. But sometimes the teenage kids decide that they dont want mom dating this guy or at all and that causes problems. With younger children, you dont run into that problem much. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 10/19/2006 1:03:55 AM | My last girlfriend was older than I was, and she had 4 kids, which could have passed as my brothers and sisters. The oldest was almost as old as I was. I had fun with the relationship. I'd keep the kids laughing with telling them stuff like, Don't make me ground you young man, or EAT YOUR PEAS or you go to your room. Her oldest daughter used to bar tend at the one bar I would stop in at after work. I considered the daughter a friend of mine. When I found out I was dating her mom, I thought it was unique and interesting, yet kind of funny at the thought of dating the mom of a friend of mine.
My past 2 girlfriends have had kids. I have no kids of my own, but it doesn't mean that I wouldn't mind someone else's kids. I think kids make it more fun and interesting, to include them (after you enter the door to the relationship), with camping trips, board games (I still know how to play Chutes & Ladders, and Candy Land), Family type stuff that seems to be getting to the point of extinction. I remember staying up late into the night working on a homework project for the one girlfriend's daughter. "Yes Virginia, there are nice guys out there that will date single mothers!"
The only downfall I've seen is when the single mother uses the kids as a shield! What I mean by this, is when trying to solve a problem between the two of us, she would try to cover herself by saying " The kids are getting in the way aren't they?" Truthfully, no.
Would I date a single mother with kids? HELL YEAH! I've already dated 2 of them. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 10/19/2006 1:17:11 AM | Not to copy you but....
Would I date a single mother with kids? HELL YEAH! I've already dated 2 of them.
It's hard when it doesn't work out. Especially when you get attached to the little ones. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 10/19/2006 6:15:07 AM | | We are all over the place. We are not perfect. We may have some issues. We are looking for a compatabile date. Some of us has went through the marriage thing, some of us have not. Some of us have kids because of a death in the family brought them to us to take care of. Some of us was awarded custody of the children. Some of us were not. But in short we are all here waiting to meet that special someone. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 10/19/2006 6:48:42 AM | friendshipneeded(d951108) my words exactly....... "I am not out looking for a father for my kids. They already have one. I want someone to be with for me who will accept my kids not have to be their dad"
and I tell them that too.....i tell them my kids come first, they are my life, and they will have to accept that......
I have been seperated for 4 yrs now......my oldest daughter chased 3 guys off on me with her behaviours and actually pushed on guy out the door on me......(which by the way was a blessing in diguise)
the foruth guy told me right out that he had "raised" his family and didn't want any more....
But this time around i think i found him......We both have children....our youngest are the same age; only 4 days apart.....our oldest are 5 months in age difference, he has raised his for about 10 yrs now as a single parent.....we have and are going through the same things and actually give each other comfort, support and advice.......
My youngest is the one fighting this time......she says she hates him....but i think she is just afraid.....and he is also paitient with this also.....we went out as a "family" and the 2 youngest met, and she seemed to like him but she may be going through the "jealous phase"
he accepts my children and accepts that they are having difficulties accepting him, and he is such a SWEET man.....think he is a keeper.....so ladies and gentlemen keep looking and he/she will some day show up on you doorstep.....Yes they are out there but very rare....... | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 10/19/2006 6:56:55 AM | | Just to add that i find it is easier when the man hass children of his own cause he will accept mine more easily and we have something in common.......and we both understand that our children come first and foremost; and with a mutual agrrement like that if is easier for a realtionship to build...... | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 10/19/2006 9:12:38 AM | | I wonder how many of the men posting on this thread are using it as a way to advertise for single Mom's. I am. I'm a single father and don't intend to bring any more children into the world. So a woman that has had no children of her own....well....that seems an unlikely match doesn't it???? | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 10/19/2006 11:07:56 AM | The first single mom I dated, I still think of her daughters. She had 2 of them, 10 & 2. Her 2 year old for some reason got hooked on calling me "daddy". Having no kids of my own I thought that was kind of cool. Something that I may or may not hear before it's too late.
With the 2nd single mom, her 4 kids were well past the GI Joe toys, and Barbie Doll stage, and into real cars, and more expensive toys. None the less I still respected her kids and had fun with them. I forgot how fun a LONG game of monopoly can be, when you have people to play it with. There was an advantage to the older kids with cars. 4 kids = 4 cars, and if mine died I'm sure one of them would have given me a ride somewhere.
I am a bit confused on wanting my own kids. I'm sure this would make another forum, but if the enlarged heart I have isn't hereditary, I don't want to be the start of a bad thing. Other times, I would love to have my own flesh and blood kid. Either or, if I find someone that's a single mom, great. If I find someone that's not, equally great. Either or, I just want to find someone (kids might be included) that I can share life with. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 10/21/2006 6:50:34 PM | | Absolutely....there are a few variables that come into play....for example....are the kids grown and independent? I have found that when i have dated women with young kids, that it is hard for us to go anywhere or do anything. I admire the mothers for spending time with their kids. But at the same time, I would like some quality time as well. If someone is looking to settle down with that good woman, what is important, is time to find out if you are right for each other, but it's hard when you have to play second fiddle. I used to be the "wants to find a woman with no kids guy", but i found that it was kinda shallow and there are great women out there regardless of kids or not. So then i became the "will date the woman with kids guy" . But then I found that i was put on the backburner, which is ok, because the kids come first. Now I just go with the flow and see what happens. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 10/21/2006 7:19:08 PM | The package deal!
I would have to disagree with you just a little bennyblades1. But it's cool. Young kids, or old kids shouldn't really matter. It just makes game planning different. If there's an older kid with the kids that can be responsible enough to babysit (might have to offer a $10 bribe), then where is the problem with a date that night? Being that kids = a bigger family than just a party of 2, there can be family night. A dinner at Pizza Hut. I remember plenty of dinners at pizza hut with mom & dad. Family night once again, go to a festival in town or something. There's plenty that everybody can enjoy at one.
Quality time, yes better enjoyed alone, can be just as fun as with the kids, because if the quailty time was just that, then she would see WOW this is a really awesome guy (hopefully).
My 2nd girlfriend had 2 daughters, we had a blast at the skating rink. The oldest was skating, and the youngest which we were supervising, was playing in the kids Climb & Slide. While watching the youngest, we had quality time to share with just the two of us.
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 10/22/2006 10:07:26 AM | Chakraloard; well of course there are,,,,,,,maybe more so cause we have the natural maternal intsinct.......
I am seeing someone with children at this moment....
we are out there, and so are the guys..... | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 10/22/2006 2:38:01 PM | I think it all depends on the guy. Some guys are scared of children, because they aren't actually ready to settledown or such. They believe if there is kids involved, then marriage is what the woman wants.
But I have to say the opposite. From my experience, the woman is more cautious, because she still wants to find whats not only best for her, but best for her children. I've actually dated a girl who had two kids, a girl (6) and a boy (3). I thought the two kids were wonderful, and I loved them, just as much as the girl I was dating. So it broke my heart when she broke things off.
But would I date a woman with children again, for sure. It all depends on the personality of the woman. If I like it, I'll give her a chance. Kids and all. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 10/22/2006 3:15:31 PM | | Yes, women do exist that date men with kids as well. I would date a man who has kids not a problem. I also have two teenage kids and I would love to find a man who would be just as willing to date me as I would be willing to date him. Just difficult to find them but we do exist. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 10/22/2006 3:24:28 PM | Hey, i wish you were closer I would date you in a heartbeat. I mean that honestly. I don't have a problem with men who have kids and are raising them. It is hard being a single parent regardless who is doing the raising. I just wish there were more men in my area that would be more than willing to date me and see where things could go. I am just about ready to call it quits on this website due to the fact that men don't want to date a woman who has kids regardless if I kids or not. There are a lot of people out there that don't have kids and so it makes it that much more difficult on us that do have kids that we are raising alone. I just wish that we as parents would try and understand that it takes 2 people to make a relationship work. Good Luck to us all..... we all need someone and we all have needs that need to be met.....  | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 10/23/2006 10:33:08 PM | I would have not problem dating a woman with kids. I do think it's a problem with women with children who puts up a wall because of baggage from an old relationship. No1 wants to be hurt but you have to be willing to give some1 a shot. One thing that bothers me is when a single parent is shoping around for some1 to be a second parent to their children. I do think that it is important to find some1 who likes kids, but the real goal is to like some1 who likes/loves you for who you are. I don't claim to be an expert in these matters but comming from a single parent home I feel I do have something to say on the matter. I think the true goal to find love if your a single parent is to first know what your really looking for, and then make sure the person your looking for is comfortable with that. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 10/24/2006 9:50:46 AM | fist of all if your kids r that young why would you want them them around all these different men??? why dont you dat a guy, let himknow you have kids, but wait awhile until you let the kids meet him, thats not a very heaslthy thing to do you know, brinign different men around your daughters | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 10/24/2006 9:59:34 AM | its good that you can see that kids come first, and yo dont even have kids do you??? thats awesome, you know....some women with kids r the funniest ppl you could ever talk to, they have stories that will make you rolll on the floor laughing...lol...anyway this omcing from a songle mom of course, i have 2 kids ages 4 and 2 and i was with one guy just last month, and well, he tried to hard, he has kids of his own, but does not see them, so i think he was trying to replace his kids with my kids, and my youngest ne actaully asked "are you going to be my new daddy?"
anyway, thats all its a messed up situation, and women have to put there kids first , becuase in the long run, if they put men b4 their children their children are going to grow up resenting them and hurt as they grow
~heather~ | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 10/24/2006 11:59:17 AM | Fine idea heather, but interacting with the kids to me would be one way of seeing if the guy truely is the nice guy at heart, or a different story all together. I understand the first few dates of getting to know the woman, and not involving the kids, but why hide the kids from seeing what kind of guy might be the father figure (not the replacement dad) in their lives.
What is wrong with a guy wanting to see the "whole picture" and want to see the kids too. With your youngest asking the guy "are you going to be my new daddy", I would think with watching the guy's reaction to that and how he responds as a way of knowing if things are going to work or not with him.
My one girlfriend's daughters (10 & 2 at the time) I had fun with them and their mom. The 2 year old for some reason got hung up on calling me daddy. It didn't bother me a bit and with not having kids, yet wanting them, I thought that was cool. I knew I wasn't her real dad and wouldn't want to think I was. Reading the post and when I got to the part of the youngest asking "are you going to be my new daddy" I thought awwwwwwww, with picturing that coming from a 2 year old.
A woman putting her children first is 100% understandable. A woman that tucks the children away from the whole picture of the package deal of wanting you AND the kids, well to me that looks like the mom putthing HER first and the children can come later.
My 1st date with the woman and 2 daughters, I knew about the daughters before I picked HER up for our date. With the flowers I gave her, there was also 2 stuffed animals, 1 for each of the daughters, since I knew they liked dogs.
The woman that won't at least let me meet the kids, let alone include them in a future date with her and the kids to a park, or (depends on the age/s) Chuck E Cheese, is one that I would let know sorry but not interested, because she put herself first and the kids 2nd!
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Ten32
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Joined: 5/11/2006
Msg: 1125 | |
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