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 uncle tom
Joined: 5/17/2004
Msg: 101
do men actually exist that date women with kids??Page 5 of 122    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)
i have dated a couple of women with children and what i find is how the single parent treats the other partner determins how the relation ship will go . what alot of single parents forget is that when the child has left home later on ,you are still the one who will always be thier.
 onehotmomma4U
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 102
do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/4/2005 9:52:05 AM
i fully support fathers who want their children in their lives and even would give dads a hand for the ones who look after their children. It isnt an easy job. Maybe girls get scared of the commitment that comes with a guy who has children? Maybe she doesnt want that in her life because she still wants to have fun?? Jsut depends on the person but there are still people out there that would date single parents.
 The-Callebrese-Kid
Joined: 7/10/2005
Msg: 103
do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/4/2005 1:50:42 PM
i absolutly dont see a problem dating a woman with kids,,, ive done it before ,, and chances are , itll happen again
 Bigger Guy
Joined: 10/3/2005
Msg: 104
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do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/7/2005 1:36:51 PM
Sure, no problem. Just be up front about it. I am a divorced father with custody of 2 children.
Just don't call yourself a single parent if you are divorced / separated / or widowed. That is misleading. If you are divorced you are a divorced parent. As long as a man knows how things are from the start, generally there is no problem. Most men like having children around. Keeps you on your toes and keeps you young. Also, don't go looking for a father / mather for the kids. Children go away and you are left with the parent figure you brought in. Remember, if the kids are "MY WHOLE WORLD" then you are in for a huge let down in a few years. You should be your own world and the kids priority should be right up there, but without you on top, no one get the best, ever.
If you call yourself a single parent when there is another parent around (whether involved heavily or not) you are fooling yourself and disrespecting the other parent and your kids)
So.... be up front and honest and don't look for someone compatable for the kids and look out for yourself, then the men will come knocking.
The ladies that asked me out were, without fail, single, without children, and younger than me. All knew of my children, but that I was not looking for a new mother in the house. I never asked any out, they were interested on their own and asked me. Therefore, the fact that I had children did not matter to them.
Set your priorities and approach life with the right attitude and things will go well. I guarantee it.
 bachelor4life
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 105
do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/7/2005 6:55:27 PM
I prefer to date women with kids as they can understand what it is like to be a single parent and why you cannot go out every night and just get up and go on short notice. My son comes first and always will and to any woman who doesn't appreciate that can p*ss off. And for u women who have these issues with men - don't waste your time on any man who does not respect you and of course your child(ren). there are guys who do care and will date women with children ... we are not all taken, gay (no offence), or DOGS. We may even be good looking ;) and have alot too offer the RIGHT woman. Thing is though - - we just may be hard to find thats all. Good luck to all single moms and to you dads as well ... Remember ?! our kids come first and always should!!!!!
 MILTOWNPR
Joined: 3/14/2005
Msg: 106
do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/7/2005 8:41:26 PM
FOR ME , I WAS IN A RELATIONSHIP FOR 7 YRS, RAISED MY GIRLFRIENDS LITTLE BOY FROM DIAPERS ON UP TO THE 3RD GRADE. LOVED HIM TO DEATH, STILL DO AND HESHOULD BE ABOUT 16 NOW. BUT WHEN ME AND MY EX BROKE UP. SHE MOVED ON WITH HER LIFE. AND I WAS MISSERABLE FOR YEARS BECAUSE I WOULD NEVER SEE THAT BOY AGAIN. THATS ****IN BULLSHIT! I AINT RAISING NOBODY ELES'S KIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(WINKS!)EVER AGAIN.
 MILTOWNPR
Joined: 3/14/2005
Msg: 107
do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/7/2005 8:50:32 PM
AND WHAT IF WE BREAK UP AFTER BEING YEARS TOGETHER? YOU STILL GOING TO GIVE ME WEEKLY VISITATION EVEN THOUGH IM NOT THE FATHER OF YOUR KIDS? OR DID YOU THINK I WAS NOT GOING TO GET ATTACHED TO YOUR KIDS WHILE WE WERE TOGETHER? GET IT? ITS NOT ABOUT NOT WANTING TO BE WITH SOME ONE CAUSE THEY HAVE KIDS AND I DONT WANNA BE DADDY, ITS ABOUT I DONT WANT TO DEAL WITH YOUR SON'S FATHER JEALOUSLY, OR THE FACT THAT IF WE BREAK UP, WHO IS REALLY GONNA GET THE SHAFT?
 sweetgurl05
Joined: 11/7/2005
Msg: 108
do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/7/2005 10:33:14 PM
So just because we are single and do happen to be mothers...you just assume that we need a man to support us?!?! That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. Sure maybe there are some single moms out there looking for just that, but don't assume that we are all like that. You have either had a bad experience with this situation or you are just another one of those stereotypical males who us single mothers hate! I am a single mother and I can support myself and my son, while going to school to finish my degree. I don't need some guy to support me and my son and I am sure that goes for a lot of other single moms too. Grab a friggin brain guy! Walk into a relationship with that kind of attitude and its destined to end before it even has a chance to be something.
 SimbadSailor
Joined: 11/8/2005
Msg: 109
do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/8/2005 9:44:01 AM
Hi sweetgurl. Have you heard the saying "once bitten, twice shy"? Well, many guys are in this situation. You say you aren't the kind of single mom that looks for a man to support her. Now, how do we know it's true? How do we know you won't change? How do we know it's not only a front? The answer is simple: We don't know. So as you say, we are grabbing a friggin brain. We reached a logical conclusion. We prefer to err on the side of caution.

Put yourself in our shoes for a second. Yes, many wonderful women will be left out, no doubt about it. Instead of blaming us men because we learned the hard way, blame those among you that are poisoning the well and giving you single moms a bad reputation.
 CKC07
Joined: 8/15/2005
Msg: 110
do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/8/2005 10:18:29 AM
I am a single parent. I think a lot of guys honestly believe we are looking for someone to support us or take care of our kids. That is so far from what I want. Just this week I met a guy and like(d) him whatever but then when I told him about my daughter he freaked out. I can understand its not for everyone but its sad that you have to be self conscious of it. My daughter even said to me " the reason you dont' get dates is cause of me". Of course I told her that is NOT true. I don't bring guys I am dating around her unless I am very serious about them. I keep my partying/dating life separate from my parenting life.
I have accepted there are not many guys that will want to date me since I am a single mom.
 simpleman4u
Joined: 10/4/2005
Msg: 111
do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/9/2005 6:57:45 AM
I have meet a few women who have kids that I would really like to get to know alot better so the answer is hell ya we do.
 Stewman
Joined: 9/7/2005
Msg: 112
do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/22/2005 9:02:06 PM
I have three kids, two on my own and one I share with his mom( it's a long story!)
Anyway, I know some guys that run when there's kids involved but there're not the norm!
I've met plenty of girls on this site that say flat out, I'm not interested in raising other peoples kids, Oh they want kids, just not someone elses, good for them, so there not into it, good luck to them. what I'm saying is that it is not just a male thing! Have you girls ever thought that maybe the guy just wasen't into YOU and used the kids as a way out! ( I know that's weak) but maybe they just don't want to hurt your feelings. Bottom line is this, if the guy thinks your worth having around he will accept your kids! If the two of you don't have much to hold on to, the kids sure as hell won't help things any!
I like kids, I love my kids, if the girl i'm dating has no intrest in mine, then she's done, not worth my time or a second thought.
 iamthe12thmonkey
Joined: 11/21/2005
Msg: 113
do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/22/2005 11:27:35 PM
do WOMEN actually exist that date MEN with kids??
 dewkiss31
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 114
do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/23/2005 2:22:25 PM
Monkey yes there are ME!!!!! lol I would love to find a guy who has kids that want a fun relationship friends FIRST!! see where it goes and if it what we both want. We Are Out There So BEWARE!!!!! lol
 1HarleyRyder
Joined: 11/17/2005
Msg: 115
do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/23/2005 3:53:13 PM
I can't speak for all men , but I have no problem with a lady having kids
 lookingwa
Joined: 11/22/2005
Msg: 116
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do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/23/2005 6:36:29 PM
I am on the other side I have not dated in three years becuse the ladies I have run in to want a auto daddy sence I have rasied daughter they think I will be the babysitter Im just looking for someone who wants time with me not what i can do for them.
 aznjoe
Joined: 11/22/2005
Msg: 117
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do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/23/2005 6:39:17 PM
Yup I've dated women with kids before I dated women without kids. So the answer is yes we're out there.
 medic5836
Joined: 11/16/2005
Msg: 118
do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/24/2005 6:02:56 PM
I actually prefer to date women with kids. I am a single father of a 5 year old son who I have full custody of. I my child is my life. I want someone with common interests and woman with kids understands how they change your life and how you have to live your life around them. Someone without kids just does not understand. At first they may act like they do but over time they realize just how hard it is.
 Goresh
Joined: 5/26/2005
Msg: 119
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do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/25/2005 6:15:53 AM
Hmmm, 99% of women freak when they discover I have 5 kids.

Women may think it's "sexy" for a man to take care of his child, but when it comes to the crunch, most aren't interested in getting involved.

Greg
 lesamarie
Joined: 9/15/2005
Msg: 120
do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/25/2005 6:49:33 AM
Here is one for you girls!!! I'm 41 and have 3 daughters. All older. No need for babysitters, blah blah....I meet this guy. We hit if off great. We go out a few times and one night, while my ex had the girls, he dropped me off at my house. My ex pulls up behind us and lets the girls out of his car, they go in. No big deal. He gets all wierd. After not calling me for a few days, which was odd, he finally tells me that the situation makes him nervous. Now ladies....tell me....what's that about. My ex isn't the type to smash his window in with a bat and could care less who i date. I told this guy. Honestly, I think it was just an excuse. So don't give up. There are plenty of men who will love you anyway. It's an issue that will never be acceptable to us mothers. My girls are the most important thing to me and if a man can't accept that....well....f&$* them.
Party on ladies.
 silverghost1957
Joined: 7/21/2005
Msg: 121
do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/25/2005 7:26:33 AM
You are better off,without that loser
 aka Joe
Joined: 8/4/2005
Msg: 122
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do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/25/2005 11:11:00 AM
I'd like to add my 2 cents here about men and dating single moms.

I have no issues with dating single moms, in fact, at my age (38), the chances of meeting a woman without kids is rather small. I have a son who lives with his mom out of province so i don't get to see him but i do understand what it is like to be a parent.

There are a couple of issues that can be troublesome though for a man trying to date a single mom as I'm sure these issues exist for single dads too. The first is the availability of the woman. Does she have a support system in place (family, friends) that allows her to go out? Does she have a sitter she can call and afford? Do the kids spend time with their father allowing her free time? These are important issues because in order to build a relationship, you must spend the time with it. True, as time progresses, a mom will bring man over to her place and introduce him to the kids so that they can share time together without going out, but that happens after a while and not usually right away.

So how do you get to that point if you can't spend the time going out? If you are only available a day out of the week, whats a guy supposed to do the rest of the week? Sit at home waiting? Surely a mom can't expect a guy to be exclusive when she isn't around most of the time and you are in the formative stages of dating? While I realize that between being mom, working, taking care of home and trying to balance everything is hard, if you can't make time to date and get to know someone, you can't expect them to stick around. This is my personal issue with single moms. Too many of them just don't have the time yet they complain about how men don't understand or won't hang around.

Well its not that hard. We prefer to continue to live, to go out and do things. Not sit at home and wait until that next opportunity arises to see you which could be in a week or 2. No, if someone else comes along that is available, then why not look into that? At least she's there.

Another issue is the kids themselves. They may be your little darlings but some of them are just awful. I've met some nice kids and some terrible ones. And will they accept you? Thats huge and you just never know. Some resent you and feel the need to remind you of their dad or that you are not their dad. And of course, you have no say about them, God forbid you offer up some parenting advice when they are misbehaving or whatever when the mom appears to be powerless to stop the behaviour or ignores it.

And lets not forget the ex. What kind of relationship do you have with him? Do you get along for the sake of the kids? Does he take them when its his turn or does he cancel? Does he make life miserable for you and your dates?

I've seen it all when it comes to single moms and I have no problem dating them but if you can't put in some time, and i mean more than a day a week, or you and the ex are still fighting all the time making your life and thusly the new guys life hellish, then maybe you need to forget about dating and concentrate on the life you have until you can devote some real time to it.
 Crane Man
Joined: 10/22/2005
Msg: 123
do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/25/2005 11:44:32 AM
Okay, this question or issue has been beaten to death so let's not discuss it 800 million differnt ways. Yes some men will date women with kids and some won't and the same goes for women. Some women will date men with kids and some won't You just have to be patient. There let's discuss something else and quit killing this horse, it is dead leave it alone. Maybe we should exchange ideas on how to find those elusive people we are all looking for.
Just my 2 cents
 egare
Joined: 2/6/2005
Msg: 124
do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/25/2005 1:13:24 PM
No problem with datign women with kids.. I married a girl who had a 3 yr old daughter.. We are now divorced but I still love the little girl like she was my own. Subsequently, as soon as I tell a girl that I have 2 little ones of my own I usually never get a reply email.. even from the ones who have kids. Weird.. huh?
 pplummer
Joined: 1/28/2004
Msg: 125
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do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/25/2005 2:01:34 PM
I have no prob. if the lady has a kid or kids ... you just gotta take it a little slower is all. first or second date should not involve meeting the kids though.. you have to see if there is some chemistry first and work from their. Remember you aren't dating their kids your dating the milf. just my 2 cents
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