| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 1/17/2007 10:56:17 AM | Surely that was purely emotions talking
^^ yes it was.. you pushed a personal button, my apoligies
however.. you jumped there.. did it not occur to you that perhaps my not wanting children simply meant that i do not want to be pregnant for 9 mos again???? If another man has children no matter what the ages are entered my life, i would not discriminate
*grins
of course it didn't occur to you because you can't have children
sad... very sad 
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 1/17/2007 11:24:27 AM | "of course it didn't occur to you because you can't have children"
You got me there. Let me rephrase my question.
Are you saying that men not wanting more children and men not wanting to date women with very young children who equally agree it's purely based on how many more years of having children living at home should not be around children at all?
I love kids like most dads do. My son, almost 13 needs me quite a bit but not nearly as much as a 2 year old needs a parents time and attention. I don't want to miss a day of his life growing up but that doesn't mean I want to start all over with a new born nor a 2 year old nor a 4 year old. It certainly doesn't mean I shouldn't be around kids either. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 1/17/2007 11:47:41 AM | I agree with the above in that I don’t date women with young children. Been there, done that, its not for me anymore. The statement that I shouldn’t be around kids since I have decided what is best for me took me by surprise since I have read a number of your posts and value your opinion. In your post above you also stated that one of the reasons that you might not want another child is due to the 9 months of pregnancy. Wouldn’t it also be a consideration as to whether you can afford to have another child and whether it is the right time in your life to have another child.
The reasons that I do not date women with young children are twofold; there are certain things I want / like to do with my life and young children do not fit into that, also, as mentioned before on here I am mitigating the amount of time I would be required to pay child support for step children if the relationship were not to work out. With over 60% of second marriages ending in divorce the odds are not all good, so like anything else in life, I make adjustments and decisions which suits my lifestyle and that of my daughter. As I have heard on here before, just like other parents, the children come first and I don’t want the fact that if relationship does not work out to affect the standard of living my daughter currently has since I would be required to pay child support for the step children. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 1/17/2007 12:38:24 PM | men.. did you not notice me typing out JMO?
just my opinion means what i say does NOT apply to anyone neccessarily
i fully support whatever decision anyone makes FOR THEMSELVES as long as it doesnt harm me or my children
i stated that men who can't be bothered to raise young ones shouldnt be raising any because to me I find it offensive to the young ones
think about it..
look at a young one "No, i don't want to raise you because you are too much hassle"
In your post above you also stated that one of the reasons that you might not want another child is due to the 9 months of pregnancy. Wouldn’t it also be a consideration as to whether you can afford to have another child and whether it is the right time in your life to have another child.
^^ yes price of raising children is a consideration but a huge percentage of my decision is based on the pregnancy alone and my reason which i wish not to share, sorry | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 1/17/2007 4:32:53 PM | I guess everybody’s opinion is different where you see a man who “can’t be bothered with raising young children or doesn’t want the hassle”, I see someone who has different priorities in their life. A good example is myself, I have a career which takes up quite allot of time, I have my daughter who I have almost 50% of the time and due to father passing away last year I now take care of a number of things for mom. Those are my priorities and from them I simply do not have the time or energy to devote to young children. It’s not that I can’t be bothered, it’s that I have other things in my life that take precedence. What is most offensive to me is when someone enters into a relationship knowing that they cannot commit the time and energy to the up bringing of the child, to me that is just wrong.
So, in your opinion, you would find it offensive that I have chosen not to date women with young children because I chose to make my daughter, mom and career (in that order) my priority. What I am trying to say is that it is your assumption that we can’t be bothered or don’t want the hassle, which in reality for me is far from the truth. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 1/17/2007 5:54:11 PM | Whitetigeress?
It appears as if you're attempting to find some loophole or *Play on words* to slap him with. He was pretty clear in his statements that he has a preference, just as I and many other men, to not date women who's children would require a complete *revamping* of our life plans and goals.
Edited to add this------------- A man can set his goals for life to care for himself and his children, which is admired by all, except, the one lady that demands he change his goals and aspirations to suit her own. Suddenly, he's wrong.....
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 1/17/2007 7:48:21 PM | susndeca, you too are taking what i say personal and not fully reading what i posted
i have clearly stated that it is only MY opinion and offensive only to ME
it does not say anything about you changing your mind, does it??? so why defend your decisions??? | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 1/19/2007 6:58:16 PM | | Yes we are out here and I know I would...and only have done since becoming single a couple of years ago. Being 40 something with my kids ranging from pre school to grown up, I don't think a childless woman would touch me with a 10 foot pole. Besides, I think it would be hard to relate to someone like that anyways. I understand the ins and outs of raising kids.....all the fun and "fun" that entails this most demanding part of life. So, when I have to or she has to go home to look after things and so on....I understand. And so does she. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 1/20/2007 8:14:51 AM | I wonder about this all the time.
I know there are older men out there that will date women with kids, but I have problems finding guys my age that will. There are some out there I know but just haven't found the right ones yet.
On another site where you post personal ad's like in the paper but it's done through email I don't always mention in my ad that I'm a single parent. Did that once and the response was very low. After a few email's or thinking we hit it off via email I'll tell them that I'm a single mom. 75% of them have told me that is not what they are looking for right now even when it seems like we have a lot in common and we seem to communicate well. It's depressing. It seems to me guys my age don't want to bother or have this thinking that we are looking for a father for our children. I am not and let them know this because my child has a father that's in her life.
Anyways, don't give up. There is someone out there that will date a woman with kids. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 1/20/2007 9:30:52 AM | Soleilfleurs- said- "I don't always mention in my ad that I'm a single parent."
Big mistake!!!
When a person knows information is important and intentionally does not divulge, it's considered *Lying by omission*....... It's deceitful. You gave those men a second reason to run.
You even admit being deceitful in hopes it would increase replies. Deceit alone is enough to launch someone. Not a good way to start a relationship with a huge Red Flag...
Every woman I've dated has children. However, deceit would get her thrown aside immediately! | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 1/20/2007 10:07:04 AM | ^^^^so SO SO TRUE ^^^^^^
Small rugrats....Fine
No B Job, cuz "ANY" job would cut welfare bennies...LMAO....Fine
Deceit.......OH NO....Here's a BUS Token.....LMAO..again
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 1/20/2007 11:12:28 AM | treemanbdj ?
Maybe you don't see it as deceitful and that's fine. However she did admit posting that information limited replies. Then she chose to not post it for the sole purpose of increasing replies. Only to learn the men bailed quickly.
The definition of deceit is to intentionally mislead without having to lie. To forget is not deceitful but she intentionally withheld what she knew was pertinent information which is deceitful. Men running away once learning what she omitted is evident. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 1/20/2007 11:20:50 AM | Ofcourse there are men out there that will, their called fathers. Most ex husbands didn't have a choice about being single, 70% of all breakups are initiated by the female.
Why? you my ask, ... Men in general know that the price of fighting with a woman is never worth winning an argument. So, we keep quite , which makes women unhappy.
{Dammed if you do , Damed if you don't}
Men usually opt for the peaceful option of "what ever you say dear." until they can't do it anymore. But by then the mutual respect has left thr building. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 1/20/2007 11:56:14 AM | | hi, id love proof that there was men out there that dont run away from women with children. and more importantly people that read ALL of the profile , how annoying is it for men to talk to you then ask you if u have kids when i have in fact said i do on my profile?? and it really riled me what 4youriiionly said.....im not out for a meal ticket, i look after my own kids myself and have done for 2 years now without help from man. and to be honest all the way through the 12 years i was with their dad i looked after them both financially and physically.i think people see me and my kids(i have 4) as a big old problem full of responsibilitys, not so, my kids are fully independant and have been brought up to respect people . im not looking for a father figure for them, im looking for someone to see me as a person for once. someone who cant stand sitting alone everynight anymore and needs company and its only human to want affection and to be held and loved. im very honest about the fact i have kids and i make no bones about the fact they come first.but at the same time if i meet someone(notice the if?) then me and the kids will work together with him and make it a happy home to be in. hows that........now does that sound like im after a meal ticket??? oh andi can already suss out the men who think im desperate for a shag and think they canget it........im not that desperate.... | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 1/20/2007 12:32:47 PM | "hi, id love proof that there was men out there that dont run away from women with children."
This thread is a good start. Obviously we exist!
What you will find is every one of us can also name others like ourselves that will (in some cases prefer) to date women with children..... We are all over the place. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 1/20/2007 2:46:19 PM | I am more than willing to date a single mom and get serious about her and be part of her family. I have had the mis-fortune of dating 2 single moms who just wanted someone to look after them and their children financially. You do need to be careful. Sometines it is not worth the hassle.
One of those single mom's phoned me a few months back saying that she met a great guy but she would not get serious about him because he was a single dad and did not want to be mom or step-mom to someone else's child but wanted the man n her life to raise her son as his own..so why the double standard? People like this cause other's who are not parents not to want to date single parents. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 1/20/2007 2:55:03 PM | | im more than willing to date someone with kids, he'll understand about what im going through in day to day routine. and im not afraid to be a stepmum, i have 4 children so a few more is no difference and i like a big family. a lot of noise but thats what i like, a busy and fun house. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 1/20/2007 3:06:42 PM | ^^^^(((scratching head)))))^^^^^^
Dating???? Your profile says not single not looking.
Also I'll be damned if I saw the mention of 4 kids anywhere
Lastly don't get upset about people not reading profiles WTF??? It happens to ALL of us. I could give you a long list personally, and I truly feel my profile is thought out and covers myself rather well.
Ummmm yes susndeca......
I was agreeing with you in last post... Sorry I did't break it down in simpler terms, really not sure where I lost you. Missing coma maybe????
For the record. I'd prefer if the other has child/ren they would be very close to my daughter's age.
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