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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 5/12/2007 1:55:02 AM | Some men take it as a sign that a woman is more settled or mature. Sure thats not always the case...but I'm just saying that its in no way a bad thing for a lot of guys. They figure, if you're a mother and they can actually SEE you in the ummm...act of mothering for lack of a better term, chances are you have more on your plate than staying out all night drinking or running around being a ho. Remember, I said, NONE of this is necessarily true just because a woman (or man for that matter) is a parent. Just saying its not the turn off for a lot of men that we might think it is.
My man was actually attracted to the fact that I was a single working mom. Figured I was done partying and ready for a serious committed relationship. He was right. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 5/12/2007 5:52:30 AM | Quad mom you are 100% right that is the way a lot of us men do see it.
With that said ladies let me point out a few things. Again.
1-Sometimes it is not the kid, sometimes it's you.
2-Don't let your kids disrespect you. It will become a problem in the long run so most guys steer clear of that.
3-Don't let your kids disrespect your mate. If you do then what you are really saying is that the guy isn't important to you.
4-Don't allow your ex to create constant drama.
5-If the guy is in a parental role then he does have the right and duty to act as one. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 5/12/2007 6:40:29 AM | i have no problems with dating a man with kids (even though i have 2 of my own)..even if i wasnt a single mom i would still have the same outlook. i think its awesome when a man takes responsibility for his children rather than the mother taking all the responsibilities! now dont get my wrong i love my babies, and have no regrets ever having them, and i am proud that i am able to manage on my own..but having someone to help out every once in awhile would really help. as to why most men arent attracted to single moms...i am not sure why that is?? i think being a single parents shows that u are able to manage on your own, you can multitask, you have confidence and the abilities to do what is best for yourself and your children etc etc...anyway that is my rambling for the day lol! | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 5/12/2007 12:23:26 PM | | i really dont know what to say to that. it would be nice yes but as a single parent i like it more when its just me and my baby girl. men that exist who date women with kids are the best ones to keep. it shows that they are interested in you as well as gettin to know your children. but your guess is as good as mine i have no clue if there are any out there. but another thing to is if i date someone who doesnt have kids if anything were to happen i woulndt want my child gettin attached to the man im with. it just wouldnt be right or fair to the child. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 5/12/2007 5:29:04 PM | It is rare that people want to date someone with children as they want a person to be able to just go do something when they think of it. I find that there are the single parents that have the every other weekend thing and expect that I would have the rest of my time free also. Doesn't care that I can go do things with a little notice to get child care.
There are men that get upset that I would not introduce my kids after one or two meetings because they want to be the instant family. They don't understand that I want to get to know them first because my children will not be exposed to everyone I go out with until I know it is something that I feel has a possibility. Whom ever it is will in some way have an influence in my childrens life and I want to know who they are first.
I have had the ones that want me to give my kids away to their father who doesn't bother to visit them to see if we may possibly have a chance.
The ones that want to have a sex life with me and maybe at a later date if that is working we could have a relationship.
Old enough to be my daddy or young enough to be my child if I would have started early.
Doesn't seem like it should be so hard but we have to be concerned about the little ones that depend on us. Doesn't matter if you are male or female people may have a preconceived notion that we are looking for the money tree, babysitter, etc., and so forth. One day.... | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 5/13/2007 3:10:24 PM | | i have no clue, it s not easier when the kids are younger, trying to juggle school,work and kids that does leave a lot of time for dating and some guys are pretty pushy for time . is there still some good guys out there i really dont know!!! | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 5/13/2007 11:37:37 PM | | I was wondering why women find it hard to date me because i have a 3 year old daughter everything seems fine till they find out i have her then there gone like the wind. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 5/14/2007 7:38:15 AM | | Agreed, I have met a couple women in the past year or so who have bolted or flat out said they did not want to date because of the fact I have a child. Perhaps it is the easy excuse to say no though. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 5/14/2007 1:07:18 PM | I think it depends on the woman/man you are trying to date. If that person is ready to settle down, rather than just have an activity partner, that makes a difference. And be up front with the other person. Tell them you have kids, and tell them what you are looking for from the relationship. If they leave you because you have kids, you don't need them anyway. I truly feel there is someone out there for each of us. It's just a matter of having patience and swimming through all the wrong fishies until we find our catch.  | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 5/14/2007 7:18:33 PM | | I have 3 kids and us trying to date. Only men who have children them selfs talk to me. I have found out that men without children don't deal with us because they don't want the responsibility of the children and they don't want to deal with any drama. I am 23 and is an single parent, I have learn to accept men turning me down for what ever reason. I did because the same way they turn us down is the same way we turn others down. We turn down others because thier to fat or to skinny. The fact is we shouldn't get mad because men turn us down because we're single parents or the other way around. There is someone out there for everyone. They come when we're not looking. So don't worry the right man or woman will come along. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 5/15/2007 10:44:28 AM | Wrong!!!! Just because a woman has kids, won't stop me from enjoying their company Sum of us guys are down to earth, and don't mind pre-made families!!!
Bring on the ladies with the KIDS
cheers!
Jason! | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 5/15/2007 11:10:42 AM | | It's the first thing i make a man aware of, i talk about my girls alot so if they show no interest after that!! stuff em... not worth your time! but have to say i have not experienced this..yet! | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??YES
Posted: 5/15/2007 9:53:40 PM | | hi ,yes we do exist ,im one that have my kids and have been seperated for 2 years ,my divorce would have been final but the courts lost the damn paper work and now i gota do it all over again,thre 2b ex is mad since im changing a few things now that i can ,but i have 2 of 3 with me here in north pole and am finding that trying to date really sucks ,i dont drink or smoke ,plus i wont go to the bars ,when i go anywhere the kids gotta come 2,but i dont have time to really get out and be creative ,been out of circulation or not a sales man ,if any ladies are in fairbanks area with some hints ,ill be ablijed,to hear some,,looking for new start in northn pole | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 5/15/2007 10:53:06 PM | I'd like to know where they're all hiding? At least the ones near where I live. When I go out with my son, my mother and my neice I know what everyones thinking. That BOTH kids are mine. It's funny yet sad, lol.  | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 5/16/2007 6:20:24 AM | hi , I do beleive I have not seen or heard from any woman in the NY C area,
regarding this thread, does that mean the men in NY C are open and willing
partners in this type of relationship ?? Im in the Bronx, NY waiting to
hear from you ladie s | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 5/19/2007 3:15:20 PM | I'm speaking up as a single male with no children of my own, but I've dated all kinds, shapes, and sizes - women with live in kids, women with grown kids, pregnant women, doesn't matter.
I've noticed that some of the replies are because guys don't want the responsibility. Others it's because of time. I'll tell you this - I'm a very logical, mathematical sort. It's the reason I'm so good with finances and bills. That tends to carry over into what I look for in a woman. The reason that's important is this.
It's not that I would refuse to date a woman with children. I've done it before. I just hesitate to, because:
(1) it seems like every woman I've met doesn't know how to properly balance their lifestyle such that one or the other isn't neglected, or worse, overlooked. This is the most hurtful reason, actually. Too many times we can't go out, can't hang out, can't do anything because she's taking care of her kid(s). Worse is when she says she can't do anything, yet she seems to find time to go out with her other guy friends. Yes, that's happened. And I don't like it.
(2) Some women don't understand the value of their kids' reactions. I knew a girl (the pregnant one I mentioned) who seemed really nice and intelligent, met her on a blind call, she said she had a daughter which was fine. She didn't tell me she also had another baby in the oven. I was shocked when I met her, but I decided to deal with it because again, she seemed nice. Needless to say the relationship didn't work out (the girl said she had to have a buff pretty boy who was good in bed...I'm unfortunately dark and slender, and more reserved in bed), but her daughter was the sweetest, most adorable thing I'd ever met, and made me wish she were my own, because that's how she acted towards me, which clearly told me that the father wasn't in her life. The girl just couldn't see what everyone else around her was telling her - that it didn't matter that I don't look like Shemar Moore, I've got the right qualities. But all she could see was the skin and muscles and couldn't look past it no matter what, even though her own daughter could.
(3) Women with children ALWAYS have the same mentality: They don't really care to fall for someone, because they think it'll turn out the same as it's always turned out. That means I'm automatically at a disadvantage. If I'm going into a friendship or a relationship I like to know I'm getting a fair chance, or I don't bother trying, since I won't fight for something that's not required.
(4) Quality time. It's at a premium if she has kids. This goes back to the time management I mentioned before. I'm big on quality time - I like to know that if I ask you to come over, you'll come, or at least have a reason that can't be overridden - like you have to work late. Some women don't like babysitters and aren't that close with family to where they can leave their kids behind.
(5) Improper parenting. Yes, I said it. I knew a girl who had a daughter that would scream bloody murder if the girl left the daughter's visual range. I'm not kidding. That meant we could never go out, because the second she went out the door the daughter would start screaming something fierce. One time the girl was so desperate she snuck out a side door - the daughter screamed and cried herself to vomiting until the girl came back in the room. Freaked me out. That shows me that something's wrong with how that girl was parenting that child...if I can't even take you out, what's the point? And it's even harder when you first meet a woman because you don't know if something like that will happen or not.
(6) In general, some women with kids use that "motherly" mentality and apply it everywhere, even to men they meet. That's a NO NO. Woman at my work is like that, she'll boss you around like you're her child. I've had to correct her numerous times.
(7) My personal....if a woman has kids, there's a strong likelihood she won't want more with a different guy, especially if she's been hurt before, or maybe she only wanted the 1 or 2 she already has and doesn't want to go through the pain again. I have this as #7, but this is the biggest one for me and the first thing I think about. I want kids one day, but I want them to be by blood, not by chance. I don't mind if she has her own and mine, but what are the odds of that? Slim in almost every case.
(8) I've known too many single mothers who either don't work or don't work sufficiently. That's an automatic red alert. It's different if they're making $75,000 a year, but what are the chances of that?
It seems like a lot - indeed, I said a lot, but really it's not that much. The bottom line is, it's not about the relationship the guy is undertaking, it's what the guy stands to lose by getting into such a relationship vs. one with a woman who doesn't have those obligations. There are some absolutes which, if lost, will just make things worse, especially in my mind. I like the flexibility of going out on dates when I please without having to concern myself about what's going on back home. I like the comfort of knowing that the woman I met may eventually have my children. I like the safety of believing that such a woman is self-sufficient and doesn't depend on me for anything but perhaps emotional backing.
But then, that's me. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 5/20/2007 8:52:18 AM | | Some of us do work very hard at what we do. I work 24/7. I am not looking for a "daddy" for my child, I am doing a great job being mom, dad and friend, but mom comes first. Some of us do not take what has happened in our past out on the next person we date. Secondly, being a parent is a huge responsibility and I would not change it for the world. When there is a new relationship that is what it will be the begining of something new. If the fact of being a parent first upsets some people than I wouldnt waste my time. Its an understanding between you and the person you are dating. Some can accept the fact and others cant. Have a good day. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 5/20/2007 8:54:56 AM | | I can tell you this, I am originally from the Bronx and yes it does go on up there too.....It is not just the men but it is the woman too. Some can accept the fact that the person they are interested in have children others cant. So the question continues on. have a good day. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 5/20/2007 2:13:48 PM | | I don't have kids. I probably wouldn't date a woman who has them only because I been living in close corners for a bit with a buddy who is a dad and see how the ex gets in the way. This fella dates women when he really shouldn't be. He has had the chance of having a real relationship with one of the many women he dates, and he didn't deserve her but treats them all like crap. Cheated on her with the ex. Really he dates anyone and uses them for sex. He's too whipped by the kids mom to move on. I'd be careful women, depends how long he's been out of the relationship. A guy doesn't want to sound whipped so he'll play off like he's in control. He's a lost cause. Never would tell the kids mom that he was with other women, don't know why the girl put up with that. I had to step in and do something to make her see she was better off without him. Glad most of the others see he's just a player. There's some insight for you ladies. He's on this site too, how I found out about it, if you want to beware send me a message and i'll let know who to stay away from. Not much respect left for him after being around him to see the way he treats women and hurts them. This is coming from a guy who is kind of bitter from my own past experience. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 5/20/2007 3:54:23 PM | You know, I have run into women that weren't interested in me if I had kids. I couldn't believe it! To be honest, I was shocked, and I still feel that that person is very self centered, and immature. There are a lot of people that are in the same boat that I am in, having a daughter and being divorced, and if a person can't accept you for them, they aren't worth dating.
For me, I don't have a problem dating someone that has children, but I just have to realize that their kids come first as does mine, after that, dating life can make it ok.
Brian | |
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