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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 1/16/2008 8:44:04 AM | Women want answers to these types of questions well a few spoil it for many and with the fear of having to pay child support for ex step children if you get married to a single mom and then divorced which is the case in Canada as it happens often. I see one failed relationship that should have worked if even for the sake of the children and wonder why or how it could work with me? I am not the child's father. It becomes easier to aviod the situation.
I have not messed up my life why do I want to enter into a relationship with extra potential drama? | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 1/16/2008 2:58:13 PM | | Hi Shedevil,I want to respond to your question ,here goes men do actually exist that date women with children ,I'm one of them I met my ex -wife in her 20's and she had two kids ages 3 and 5 we dated for about 4 yrs and got married and had one more before all hell broke loose when I found she was cheating on me online that was the end of that .I dated a woman that had 6 kids last year she turned out to be a psyco,thats over with presently I'm dating a woman that has two boys ages 14 and 9 so far she seems normal but the thing is its very hard to commit to a woman who doesnot have time to go out because we can never find a sitter .It just takes man that has the want and desire to date a woman who has children ,keep looking he's out there for you Shedevil and chances he's a real man because a real man needs just a little attention now then and not all of the attention all of the time , peace and God bless | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 1/16/2008 4:18:16 PM | ok rock hunter when i said stuff happends i didnt mean it was ok to make a mistake have sex and have kids bieng drunk, theres things you can control not everyone has kids with players and jerks, sometimes you think you love the person and one night you get pregant and you decide to keep the kid, now it makes me think you all make it sound like kids are a burdone to a relationship and (mmalueg) you need to seriously stop thinking this is about money you act like just because your a man that all mothers need you and your money are a lawyer or a doctor? well it doesnt matter you can be a shoes sales man im capable of making my own money and you think by acting this way even single women are gonna want to date you either not really, this is all negative that comes out of your mouth makes me think you have issues you need to deal with your own your baggage and im not bieng rude and rock hunter you do have a point its not that i dont agree i know youve been through stuff you should not have sounds like you gave your heart and got hurt, look we all do stuff we arent proud of? and just because your a single mom doesnt mean your struggling and your desperate for some guy who think hes rich to support you get it ? if you dated women like that that tells alot about you, you should have known wat they were there for, johne102 not everyone is out to take you to court for your money especially if its not your kids lol now thats funny to me ,cause i could never think of that thats scandelouse( sorry for the word) im not against any of you trust me i just think this is all negative when she devil ony asked if there are many guys who would date women with kids, she never asked for all this negative input from men who are bitter and have had stuff happen, now there are lots of single moms who make money and support thier kids fine so dont act like just because your a man that shes struggling for you to come rescue her lol dam! for me prince charming should come with his heart not with a hard on or a bag of gold lol  | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 1/16/2008 4:35:03 PM | You are exactly right single in Canada.....why start with extra baggage right from the start........but sometimes your heart doesn't quite work that way. Bad Canada law for child support issue.......however I'm sure if the woman declined getting the extra $$ for kids that wern't yours in the first place that would keep the peace. I passed on support from the father of my kids (not recommened from my attorney) however it kept peace for the kids sake, we can have a beer together and spend the holidays side by side..........the money just isn't worth the trouble sometimes.
Happy   | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 1/16/2008 4:38:18 PM | oh and for the poor guys who have been hurt my heart does go out to all of you, because i know its hard to be in someones life that has kids and get hurt, but even women that dont have kids cheat too, so dont say that single moms cheat to make it sound like they all do, you could buy my kid stuff ( its nice of you)and i wouldnt care because wat matters to me is how you treat me and how you love me and if you respect my kid, so if i was in the situation my heart doesnt just want money i want love not a pretty pair of shoes i could buy those on my own this goes to all the good women who agree with me on this  gold diggers come in all shapes and sizes with kids or with none, personally ive been independent since i was 16 years old and ive never once used a man for money or slept with a man for money, i know im better than that im not desperate to find a man who will buy me the world, now if he thinks he wants to buy me something nice like flowers or do things for me,then ya thats cool but thats not all i want from him, because im just that type of person that gives as well as i recieve and even more at times but its only fair to the guy im on here to find a cool nice guy who wants a good women not a bar star or a one night stand, because i think its a good pleace to see if that could happen lots of people are in this so you can choose right? | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 1/16/2008 4:55:47 PM | i'm sure this is also an issue for any single parent seeking a new second half to share thier life and children with, to take into consideration how they will habndle thier children and especially hooking up with someone who has no children of thier own so YOU can see exaclty what kind of parent they would be to the children that are already yours, wether thier ways would compliment the manner in which you have been raising your child(ren), or damagingly contradict it
and huronbraxx i totally agree and i like the way you think more realistic im withyou on that too you also have to see wat kind of parent they really are.. you sound like a sweet guy hope theres more guys like you on here lol | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 1/16/2008 8:04:57 PM | | ya, no kidding. seems like all the guys are interested, TILL they find out I have a child, or else they treat it as an "inconvieniance". Like GOOD GOD PPL, I look after my daughter myself, I DON'T want a daddy for her. I love her more than anything. Don't guys GET that just because we have a child, it doesnt' mean we aren't ppl as well. hell, I WOULD totally date me. lol I know from experience that most men think women with kids are only out there for one thing. give us a CHANCE! | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 1/16/2008 10:19:14 PM | | I feel your experience with the men you met do date....no pun intended, is best recieved when utilized as a filtering component for who you want to allow into your life in the first place. If he is shy about your children, good or bad its better he be shy on his own rather than expose your children to pending drama. I have a 14 yr old son who lives with his mother full time. He has lived with me for a year, for a few different years but will stay with his mother now until university likley, not the eutopian situation I dreamed of as a boy for my children, but the very best for him in his growth, he is raised seeing love, not learned affection. I also raise a 15 yr old girl who is not mine biologically, she was the daughter of my ex who chose her addiction over her child and was going to lose her so I took her in. If I were to measure the reactions that I have recieved for my particualr situation I would have to describe it as having the most perfect built in filtering device now. It isnt perfect, it isnt traditional, it is however the very best I have accomplished with my choices in life and if the woman I am learning of chooses not to date based on not wanting children? Many thanks for not wasting either of our times. The man you seek will be revealed to you, not to worry, although I offer the best of luck in your search until then. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 1/17/2008 12:46:14 AM | You know Zora, using paragraphs would be great for reading comprehension. Anyway, I will answer those parts I think are adressed to me.
hen i said stuff happends i didnt mean it was ok to make a mistake have sex and have kids bieng drunk, theres things you can control not everyone has kids with players and jerks, sometimes you think you love the person and one night you get pregant and you decide to keep the kid, now it makes me think you all make it sound like kids are a burdone to a relationship
When "stuff" happens -of the foolish, accidental or premeditated types- in the long term the "why" does not matter. You have to deal with the consequences. Are kids a burden to a relationship? Let me ask you: How can you meet new people (and potential partners) if you have to stay at home every night? And if you meet one, how can you develop a relationship, if there is no "us" time because the kids need all of your time?
And the standard answer is: "if he doesn't understand, he's a jerk". Sorry sister, he's not a jerk. He's a human being with needs, needs that she can't meet. Or instead, she "could" make the effort to meet them, but she doesn't want to. That's why it's called "entitlement sense".
Rock hunter you do have a point its not that i dont agree i know youve been through stuff you should not have sounds like you gave your heart and got hurt, look we all do stuff we arent proud of? and just because your a single mom doesnt mean your struggling and your desperate for some guy who think hes rich to support you get it ?
My heart is ok, thank you very much. And statistics contradict you: Most single moms are below the poverty line.
she never asked for all this negative input from men who are bitter
When a single mom asks: "Why men won't date me?", she should be ready to listen to the truth. If she doesn't, she'd better skip these threads. And no, most men are not "bitter". That's only a green grapes explanation. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 1/17/2008 2:16:37 AM | and rock hunter i never once said anyone is a jerk just because they dont date single moms its thier choice, people are intitled to wat they choose to date i know that. Yes you have all the points on the things you said i agree, and when you said Most single moms are below the poverty line? Well that depends on how many kids they have and the type of job too right? i just feel like if i was in those shoes and a guy didnt want me cause i had a kid id move on because hes not the man for me, i would never put my kid or kids up on a man so he could deal with them i can do that myself i chose to have the kid or those kids it my responsibilty now, its not fair to the guy and if he decided on his own to be part of their lives or his or her life then i would allowed it if he ment it and he was willing to work it out with me now im not talking about money when i say this if you know wat i mean. I would teach my child to respect this guy or kids, but i wouldnt be the type of mom to have guys in and out of my childs life i would not involve my kids or kid in the relationship till he felt he was comfortable and he let me know thats all..(only if it was seriouse) now rock hunte is that bad?
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 1/17/2008 2:33:13 AM | Again, paragraphs would be a good idea. Anyway, about single moms and poverty line, statistics are there for your perusal. "You" didn't say men are jerks, but check this (and other of the same subject) thread, and you will see how commonplace it is.
It's not bad to want a relationship. What is bad, in my view, is:
a) To place all the work of building a relationship on the guy, only because she is too busy with her kids.
b) To call a guy "shallow", "immature", "jerk", etc., only because he wants more than what she can give.
c) The inability to see things from "his" viewpoint, ever.
That's what makes me come to these threads. And the fact that, from all those scores of "why men won't date me" women, I've only seen one or two who are willing to make the effort needed to get (and keep) a man. All the others, they're just "he must..." women. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 1/17/2008 2:42:56 AM | ok you are totally right and ya the paragraph thing lol im sorry lol ok now i love wat you said last you could not have said it better very true indeed. I never look at it like that but even if the guy had kids with her though and they were his wouldnt that take her time away form him too? but ya and i admit most of us girls dont see the man's point of view and im sorry for that on all our behave
a) To place all the work of building a relationship on the guy, only because she is too busy with her kids.
b) To call a guy "shallow", "immature", "jerk", etc., only because he wants more than what she can give.
c) The inability to see things from "his" viewpoint, ever.
That's what makes me come to these threads. And the fact that, from all those scores of "why men won't date me" women, I've only seen one or two who are willing to make the effort needed to get (and keep) a man. All the others, they're just "he must..." women. | |
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| Yes
Posted: 1/17/2008 5:18:02 AM | | Hi, i am a part time divorced dad and would like to get to know you. Kindly ron | |
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| Yes
Posted: 1/17/2008 7:16:41 AM | As Rock Hunter said when single moms ask why men will not date them they need to be prepaed to get real honest answers from men like me who will no longer date single moms. We can give them real reasons why and they should be willing to learn from what we say and not just bash us. As I have already said I have ddated a few single mothers and they all fit the stereotype in some way and all of them wanted me to do the work to make things work, give them money to support their kids etc. Not all are like that but how many should I meet before a completely rule out dating single mothers.
Plus I look at it this way...statistics are real...divirce raes are higher for 2nd marriages and for step family situations than first marriages where the couple has their own biological children. If it could not work with the child's father why will it work with me? With the laws we have in Canada I choose not to risk what I have and the potential to pay child support for ex step children is not attractive to me.I did not create the children...why should I be responsible for tem financially? Not all single moms are like this...but some are and they have the legal syatem on their side to make you pay.
Not all are like this but I date to find my life partner so why should I include single mom's in my dating pool when there is so much potential liability if I marry one and get divorced? Plus you can not bargain away child support with a prenupp agreement in Canada..the courts would not honour that clause.
Before bashing men and caling them immature for not dating single moms try to look at it from their point of view:
What if a single mom had $1 million dollars. Now several working class men want to date her. Let's just say for arguements sake that one man has 3 children that he has custody of. With the courts in Canada not allowing child support to be waived this woman looks at the situation (let's say she has one child who is a teenager and the man has 3 children under the age of 10 years old) and realizes she could end up paying child support for children that are not hers (she would have to potentially pay for 2 children if she dates this guy and married him as she could use her child to offset some of the support) and looks at that factor and decides it is easier to date men who do not have children. That is her right..am I correct?
Now do you see the man's side of things? | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 1/17/2008 10:40:03 AM | They may exist. However, at least from my perspective, I've already raised two kids and after my divorce, they remained with me until they were old enough to move on their own. Now, that I'm trying to rebuild my own life and get into a relationship once again, I don't feel like sharing the unfinished business of a single mother. If I can't find a woman who's willing to give me her full attention I'd rather wait. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 1/17/2008 11:09:30 AM | Well I can only speak for myself, my reasons are thus:
*I've been single for a while so I would like the romance and that, kids generally mean jumping into the middle of something.
*I'm more of a "career" type guy, interested in finding someone to love, but not overly interested in having children
*Possible "halo" effect, one (or more) failed relationships and having kids may make the other person think "hmm why did it go wrong"
Of course I have no problem been friends with single mums, chatting to them or even helping out time to time with things, but I don't want to become a babysitter or child trainer.
This is me, mileage may vary, may contain nuts, do not boil wash... :) | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 1/17/2008 1:54:03 PM | | Of course there are Men who date Women with kids.....I am one of them to do that. I have no problem if she no problem. We both are in the same club--"The Single Parent Club".... | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 1/17/2008 3:51:05 PM | When it comes to women with kids i will echo what virtually every other guy on here does so, but my biggest spin is that i have been there and done that. I have gotten attached to a 2 year old, i was the one there for him in the mornings with a poopy diaper, i was the one who was teaching him words, and i paid attention to him. At the end of the relationship when i was discarded like one of his diapers, he would call me "me-me" ( my name is Jamieson-Jamie for short..) that broke my heart.
So to move on i have decided that i am 30 years old, want to go for my MA in Jan. 2009 and truthfully i think i deserve to have firsts with people that have not experienced them. Kids and marriage are no exception, i think i deserve it to be equally special when our child is being born, both from her perspective and from mine. And maybe, just maybe i have this crazy idealized notion that i may not be in Hollywood Love for a fe minutes and then move on, but want to endure with that one special person. I have never had that before, and therefore as firsts go, i think i deserve a "true" shot at that, without distraction......That's my take there is more but i gotta play some poker with my free time  | |
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| Yes
Posted: 1/17/2008 4:06:45 PM | first ofall mr ( johne102) good for you that you decided not to date single moms you should get a reward (clap) only a man that bought kids that werent his gifts not out of his heart his complaints like you do sorry to say this.
But if you gave those women money its cause you wanted too noone forced, and look at the routine of the women you chose first before you talk wat did they all have in common besides kids ???? well you dont sound like the kind of person that does stuff from the heart, and if you have something against kids that arent yours well your right you stay away from kids period or moms with kids.
I dont like your additude towards children who arent yours you act like its a burdone to you not rock hunter but you! rock hunter atleast has a point and i think hes cool but you no!
I have friends who are single moms and they would never ask a man for money like you express on here, hey if you feel that way it shows your true colors, and ya well all mothers should know not to date you, and all men dont think like you if you please. i know men who have taken in children that werent theirs and love them they dont complain like you or put mothers down just cause a couple of money hungry women came in.
like i said theirs women out ther with out kids who prey on men like you so dont even go there, gold diggers like i said are everywhere with or with out kids and so are cheaters you and rock hunter dont have the same mind i dont think he has a point you dont, just please stop thinking for other men this is just you, noone forces anyone to give anyone money unless their robbing you and holding a gun to your head you do it because you choose to and that is your fault so stop your crying sweety get over it move on and good luck with the women that dont have kids im sure youll have better luck i think lol (hug) | |
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| Yes
Posted: 1/17/2008 4:16:35 PM | and ( johne102 ) and if they guy chooses to support the kid or those kids thats his choice not yours he does it out of the goodness of his heart some people just love kids, i can believe you dont because of the way you complain.
I know if i was to date a singl dad if i took those kids in if it didnt work i wouldnt complain because i did it out of my love and heart for the man and his kids too (boo hoo), when you give if you truly mean it you dont complain you just move and the whole court thing your talking about hahahah please broken record.
Its not that easy, dont get me wrong i dont hate you.
This is why i dont like it when some guys come near my friends buying thier kids stuff because of men who think like you they want something out of it, if it didnt work out move on then dont date women with kids see if you have better luck lol.
See if you dont find a gold digger who wont waite till you die to get your money or live with you and use you some how, and rock hunter i have the greatest respect for you with alll my heart (hug) best of luck sweety | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 1/17/2008 4:28:28 PM | oh and (sir_reaper) i feel bad you had to go through that it sucks , but maybe like you guys judge women that go for jerks you should also anaylize the women first see if she appreciates you and isnt using you before you get involved with the kid or kids then you know its her who you dont want to date.
Same thing goes for the women who go for the jerks you guys judge them badly but you guys go for bad women so why judge them if you went through the same thing right?
ok then you see noone is perfect, and yes all those women who treated all these guys like dirt after they did everything those women really need to check them selves because men like that dont come so often they were lucky.
But thiers always two sides of the story did you completely treat that women all that good wat kind of additude did you have towards her like any other relationship it takes work right? if you did then the girl really is cold.. some people even when they do wrong always want to look like the good guy and make the other person a monster men and women both so its hard to tell whos telling the truth sometimes | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 1/17/2008 4:32:24 PM | | I too have found that single women are much more, all over the place, when it comes to dating, or relationships.. Women with children seem alot more grounded and kinda know what they want. I prefer the motherly, domestic type, that's a major "turn on" (for me anyway)... GO MOMS !!! | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 1/17/2008 4:55:22 PM | (my spoon) hahhaa ok yes your think"hmm why did it go wrong" well just because you have kids doesnt mean its going go rite its like any relationship.
Hahha i cant even believe you think that just because it didnt work out with the babys daddy you can judge it wont work out with you lol (wow one track mind here), see if you were a single dad your mind would think different if you had a choice to date after it didnt work out with your babys momma.
now yes im happy for all the men who dont want it well good for you, your choice your rite, lets just hope you have better luck with girls who dont have them right? (wink) I love my friends who have kids and i feel for them the good ones, but some are happy with a man who loved them and their kids too.
If it didnt work out you think hmm, well its the same reason why any relationship didnt work out just because you have kids with someone doesnt mean you have to be with them. things happen to good people and its sad.
Im young and smart and been told im beautiful I will treat a man good not because ive been through stuff. Ive never liked men who treat me bad or players or jerks, and if i have had bad luck well that was to make me stronger so i can move on inlife.
If a man did all those things for me i will appreciate him and even friends who do things for me because ive done things for people and family and they have payed me back very badly but i dont hold anything against anyone i just know now who not to trust, and i dont hate on them or others, im going to be the same girl i always was and make better choices im only single because i chose to be for a bit to work on my self like sometimes people do, im still young and i know theres good man out there, im in no rush, lifes too short to hate
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 1/17/2008 6:47:48 PM | zora:
I said they asked for money and school supplies...a few bored money from me and did not pay it back. I got smart and said no to the others. I was keeping an open mind but they did the same as the other before them did. So even though theyt did not take advantage of me they tried. I have yet to meet a single woman without kids who requests anything of me other than a date. Pluss we have that court sysyem that can act as a deterrant as well. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 1/17/2008 6:51:37 PM | I do not hate kids I never said I do. I just do not like the fact the courts can make me pay support for a child that is not mine. I coach kids softball and enjoy mentoring kids...but mentor is where it stops with me unless they are my newphew or niece or my own children.
You can be friends with someone without dating them...what is wrong with that? | |
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