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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 12/12/2005 6:15:51 PM | That's not what I meant at all you toatlly screwed with what I said. What I meant was is that I am not just seeking a man to be a father for my son... I can find him a father anywhere, I want a man that wants me not just my son. I have no problem with the package deal as you call it, I'd actuially prefer it, but how many men can actually say that they want all of that? How many guys do you know that can handle that much responsibility all at once/ And furermore, I would never refer to the guy as the guy that lives with us... but I wouldn't refer to him as daddy either.... However, I would expect my son to respect him as such...
uniquely... | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 12/12/2005 6:21:49 PM | also, I never said that I wanted a pet, I have several.... I dont need to add a monkey to the lot... I meant that I am looking for a companion the type of guy that wants more from me than sex... Get it? And just because I said maybe just maybe, that means maybe if you can handle it! And ya I do want a guy that is active in the decision making, but I havent found a guy that is responsible and committed enough to make decisions , let alone stick to them once their made. And I am a very supportive person a relationship takes two... I never said anything about not giving the man the whole package deal and making him pay double for half. Who said anything about paying? Bitter much>? I think you've been hurt by some woman and I dont appreciate you taking it out on me when you have no idea who I really am and what I stand for...
uniquely | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 12/12/2005 8:14:30 PM | | I will ask the same question, but from a man's point of view that has custody of the children. I have 2 young teens and I've been divorced for a year. Why is it that if a man is with 2 kids, that he MUST have a wife around the corner or still married? You know how many profiles I've read where the lady says "Must not have children"? I think this question should be for both sexes. It is not just the ladies that go through this. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 12/12/2005 8:16:45 PM | | I forgot to also mention, with or without my children, I WOULD go out with a lady that has kids. There is no difference between a single mom or a lady that has no children. They are still the same women.. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 12/13/2005 6:44:36 AM |
If a guy makes a kid he's entitled to pay support. If the lady gets in with a new man and he's making big $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ so be it... it's the kid(s) who are entitled to the support. Unfortunately many guys see it as "the woman getting the money to spend it wherever she wants". Maybe some women do this but not all. I call that "men just being jealous". What about the jerks out there who fall back on their payments? The kids are the ones suffering. So if a man goes around making babies and ends up paying support and not being able to start a new family...too bad, Maybe he should "tie a knot in it". Can't go around blaming the woman all the time for getting pregnant. Use protection for pete's sake.
If a man is not interested in a woman who has kids...why in the he** even bother to contact her to tell her she's pretty? Dahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
And if a lady who has children becomes involved with a man it doesn't necessarily mean the guy is to "take over supporting the kid". The lady and her kid(s) are a package deal. The kid(s) are a part of the household and things such as groceries are bought for "that household"
If that's the way you feel, why in the he** should any woman allow you in her house to sleep in her bed, eat her food, use her shower, wash your cloths?
Get out man......................
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 12/13/2005 6:59:07 AM | I find dating a woman with kids preferable. I'm a semi-single dad (have my kids 3 times a week).
They understand that kids come first sometimes. They understand that we can;t do things every night, and that spontaneous takes 3 weeks planning to juggle the routine. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 12/13/2005 4:06:26 PM | I do, DEFINITELY! I don't like people to use generalities on me, so if everything else was equal-- why would I pass on the opportunity to date a woman with kids?
The only problem I've seen is that moms with kids have special needs when it comes to dating, and I think it would be great if they could communicate this. For example-- some folks have 'issues' going on with their ex. Or...their time is extremely limited. Or, there is a babysitting problem. Or... they are concerned if they date too much, it will be a bad example for their kids.
I dunno... I think whatever the reason, the first step is to figure out what those reasons are, and come to terms with them BEFORE looking for someone to date. Is it fair for that person to first have to guess what issues are there, and then try to come up with an answer? I think that's nearly impossible...especially when mom herself hasn't figured out what she wants to do... | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 12/13/2005 7:07:09 PM | Yes, we are out here, but for the most part guys will except a woman with one child 100 times more than one with any number above that. There are also a lot of factors involved with a Single Moms have, like the age of the child, the discipline views, the child's attitude in general, the whole MILF thing that single guys look at, meaning yes you have a child but have you let yourself go and now think of yourself as simply a Mom and not a sexy partner that cares about how she looks and what she wears, etc.
If you have multiple kids it's going to be a rough road, unless you have a lot to offer on your own, such as a great body, very accepting, no baggage, etc. Unless the guy you're looking for has multiple kids of his own, then it could work. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 12/14/2005 4:26:56 PM | Ok, here is the scoop, I'm 41 never been married and I have no kids. I have dated several women with kids and this is why men scatter..
1. the women wants to be no. 1 in your life but places you at no.4 or 5 in theirs (and for some reason can't figure out why that is a problem)
2 Every women thinks their kids are the best thing in the world and if junior is throwing a temper tamtrum you are expected to just sit there and say how cute because if you say anything negative boy you are just mister insensative!
3. They are not looking for a father for thier children as they already have one.. It's been my experience that women have the kids 90% of the time which means I would be the male influence in the kids life but Im not allowed to have any input. (gee I wonder how many women would be able to handle that one?)
4. Doing the nasty with a child sleeping in the next room is somthing I just don't feel comfortable doing.
5. with kids the ex is always in the picture
6. Dating is limited to every other weekend and as long as they are home before juniors bed time.
7. It's hard enought to get use to one persons habits let a lone 2 or 3 people's.
8. if every thing goes well and you do establish a bond with the kid/s and the relastionship goes south you could end up hurting more then one person or end up losing the love/ relastionship you have built with the kid/s.. ( been there very hard to get over)
So for all you women out there that wine that men don't date women with kids please take in to account some of these points ... | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 12/14/2005 5:23:01 PM |
So for all you women out there that wine that men don't date women with kids please take in to account some of these points ...
Many good points, indeed. Nevertheless, there is a small problem: most women won't listen. They will dismiss all of them with a "you're so immature/not a real man" or a "but I'm different". I've seen it too many times. | |
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jimb77
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Joined: 8/30/2005
Msg: 189 | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 12/15/2005 7:31:47 AM | YES THEY DO!!!
Some woman do make fun of a good man. they think the man should be chaysing them.
well others should treat a man with kindness. show that you are interest. you woman dont do.
just be your self, say hello...
dont wait for the man to begain. you go for it.
you woman have that right. !!! The man will respect you alot.
why not try to send message to who you are atractive to? Go for.!!!!!  | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 12/15/2005 7:50:27 AM | Most woman are great!!! but.
Your kids allways come first. Right?
So is many other woman. right ?
what u think a man shoud do?
leave! right?
never come back?
see how you treating your man ?
come on Ladys. be litle understanding.
do your home work.
You have the answer.
please ajust you self. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 12/16/2005 8:26:48 AM | First to answer the thread ... there are lots of guys that date women with kids ... i LIKE kids ... kids generally like me ....
Lady ..... I have friends and relatives in the area you live in ..... 9 kids is a bit scarey when you think about .... especially with 7 still at home ..... but the only reason I would run for the hills is to get a little piece and quiet .... IF I could make it up the hill this time of year that is ....  ......
Any time you want to pursue a relationship with someone .... whether it be friendship or more ... if they have kids then treat them like you would treat your own .... learn to love THEM for who they are as well .. and treat them with respect if you expect them to respect you ..... | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 12/16/2005 8:59:13 AM | | Personally I would love to meet a lady with children I have a 12 year old daughter that lives with me The problem I have is that I am 60 years old Women in my age range run because I have a child Younger women with children dont date older men If any lady is interested email me please | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 12/16/2005 12:53:57 PM | Hi all! I am a recently single mother of three beautiful children. I am 24... I am having a really hard time finding a man who wants to be within a hundred mile radius of me once the subject of children comes up! I do not need a father for them, as they have their father in their life... I don't need financial help from them at all... I am already stable in that area... I NEED someone to love me, be a friend to me, a lover... all of the above! I am looking for someone who will accept my kids, but they are my kids and I would never want to put that responsibility onto anyone else. I want to find love, but love isnt finding me!!! ARE THERE ANY MEN OUT THERE WHO ARE INTERESTED IN ME | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 12/16/2005 4:47:25 PM | As a single Dad for quite some time, I've had some wonderful (ok and some not so wonderful, lol) relationships with women who represented both sides being childless and with children. Based on personal experience, I think a relationship for a single parent works best with another single parent but that's simply a general statement and not necessarily always the case. While another single parent understands the constraints, the trials and tribulations and joys of parenthood, there clearly is the rare single childless woman who also understands the same. But it's more than understanding, really....once the relationship progresses to the point of having your partner meet your children, it's as much about how he/she relates to your children. Again, I've found, in general, that single parents can relate better than those who have never had children...but not all, not by a long shot. I've had a serious relationship with a woman who didn't have children and my kids adored her; the reverse has also happened. I guess, it's like everything else in life in that there's a huge selection of people of all different persuasions out there and we have to find the one that best suits us. Easy to say, tough to do.
As for the younger woman a couple of posts up from here who suggests that guys seem to run as soon as they learn she has children...well...most guys without children in their 20's are like that; not all but most. It's natural because they haven't yet experienced what it's like. The good news for you, though, is that you don't want those guys who would 'bolt' anyway. You'll find him...just keep your eyes open...and all the best. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 12/16/2005 6:52:48 PM | Like joe said - The fact they will have children is almost a given, and the relationship with the children can be awkward, never had problems with the ex - although again it was awkward when I met them
Like benevolent said - I see having had children as a plus
As to flyingdutchmen's points -
1 - I could deal with it - thought it was natural
2 - Each mom had done a fine job raising her children I wasn't about to screw things up
3 - Discussed it with them - neither one expected me to play "daddy"
4 - No problem when they were asleep - but children have a knack for showing up when you think you're alone and "safe". Dismissed it, accepted the embarrassment - after all - they had become accustomed to having mom all to themselves anytime all the time and learned to lock doors.
5, 6, 7 - Never happened
8 - The children were all young adults and the one time things "didn't work out" between us adults - I talked to them and said if there was something they thought I could help with - to just ask. She asked me not to contact them I respected that. Yeah, it bothers me - they were fine young men - I wonder what and how they're doing.
To the OP
Haven't seen this thought posted yet
I've been at both ends of the spectrum. As a 20 something year old I ran like a rabbit when the child started getting close to me. Hind sight being 20-20 that was really immature - then again my flight tells me no way should I have been involved.
With age comes wisdom (sometimes) and probably older children - I have no children myself - makes Christmas fun again, don't think I'm ready to do diapers yet. Bring 'em on. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 12/16/2005 7:14:38 PM | yes they do, when my divorce became final from my first husband,(and thats another story)
i met a man and he took me and six children on, he was a perfect gent ,we had a child together too.he took all in his stride and believe me with the large family unit, we had difficulties along the way, he was and still is in my childrens memorys as the best dad ever.
sadly after 13 yrs together he died suddenly,billy will be a hard act to follow.and we loved that man with all of our beings.   | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 12/16/2005 8:04:16 PM | Yes there are men that do, and I don't know why people keep asking questions like this. I mean really, if someone told you, "No! Every man absolutely refuses to date women with children," would you put your children up for adoption just so that you can get a boyfriend?
Patience grasshoppa! Eventually someone will come along. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 12/17/2005 12:39:34 AM |  I have to wonder why guys don't want to date women with children to? I have been on line for quite some time now. And as soon as a mention that I have children they stop the conversation. That really pisses me off. If I found a man with children I would like to get to know him and his children. But mind you I live in a small town, and there are men here, that do date women with children, but it is a whole different thing on the computer. Which I think is rediculous. I have three girls, with there father being in the same town, I still find it hard to find someone to see. As everyone knows each other here, and assume that their dad will go after them if they wanted to see me. So sometimes I feel like I am off limits, and then I get dissed on the computer, I feel helpless to find someone to be with, but I always tell guys if you want to see me, they have to accept the fact that I come as a package, and the kids are more important in my life. | |
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