| What is it about looks?
Posted: 11/7/2007 1:59:50 PM | | I always have cared much more about whats inside a lady that her looks. However, I do notice the FACE of a lady very much. I can be very very attracted to a woman based on her personality and a great smile and a gleam in her eyes- and I don't care if she is very much over weight. What turns me on is the personality and the face of a lady that I have something in common with. | |
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| What is it about looks?
Posted: 11/7/2007 5:51:52 PM | I honestly think that physical attraction does help during the first phase of meeting and getting to know each other but what really keeps the relationship alive and going is whats inside the persons heart, their morals and values and veiw on life and most important the way he treats you , I think everyone now adays put to much importance on looks what happen to chemistry, and respect, and having the same interests having your life time partner be your best friend.
Heres another question that Im curious about asking you ?
What would happen if the Malbaro man and you were still in arelationship and he got ina car crash and his face was scared with burns what then would you leave him because you are not longer attracted or would you stay because you love him and are emotionally and spiritually connected , What then ? | |
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| What is it about looks?
Posted: 11/7/2007 5:56:34 PM | You have to be physically attracted to each other. I can't go any further with someone if I am not. Other elements need to be present, but physical is the initial....and must be there.
I have tried to give this type of relationship a try, but at the end of the day it was not "cutting" it.....so I ended it. I don't "need" a pretty boy, but some physical connection has to be there.
All the best,
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| What is it about looks?
Posted: 11/8/2007 7:33:14 AM |
You have to be physically attracted to each other. I can't go any further with someone if I am not. Other elements need to be present, but physical is the initial....and must be there.
I have tried to give this type of relationship a try, but at the end of the day it was not "cutting" it.....so I ended it. I don't "need" a pretty boy, but some physical connection has to be there.
You say that lack of physical attraction is the point where you decide that a relationship does not continue. That means that you make it the most important factor. While obviously the majority of us feel the same way, I have to wonder if this is a big reason for the high rate of divorces and relationships that do not work out. And where do we get our idea of what beauty is? Are our standards led by hollywood and fashion magazines. Must a guy look like Mel Gibson and a girl be breadstick thin to pass the standards test? If you look in to the eyes of a good person with a good heart and fail to see an attraction because the attribute of the face are not layed out in line with what Vogue magazine has determined is the standard of beauty then you are shallow.
I am not criticising anyone for making physical attraction thier number 1 priority but don't whine if thats all you get. I couldn't see myself with anyone that places matters of the heart behind physical attraction. | |
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| What is it about looks?
Posted: 11/8/2007 7:38:55 AM |
You have to be physically attracted to each other. I can't go any further with someone if I am not. Other elements need to be present, but physical is the initial....and must be there.
I have tried to give this type of relationship a try, but at the end of the day it was not "cutting" it.....so I ended it. I don't "need" a pretty boy, but some physical connection has to be there.
Gotta back Sabro up on this one....
The attraction has to be there before any thing else happens. Granted, if nothing else is there outside the attraction, it's not going to happen either. But let's face it, most of us would end up attracted to someone outside our relationship if we didn't place any importance on attraction, and most of us wouldn't be single. We'd just date whoever was semi decent and showed an interest.
The package must include a bunch of things, among which is attraction and mutual chemistry... | |
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| What is it about looks?
Posted: 11/8/2007 7:43:03 AM | Without physical attraction all there can be is friendship. Friendship is great ,but it is not a romantic relationship and can never take the place of one .If there is no physical attraction then you would not even be able to picture yourself kissing ,hugging ,caressing , or being intimate with this other person. To pretend that it is not one of the most important things on the list in a relationship would be foolish.
Another person does not have to be physically perfect looking in order to be attractive . We can be attracted to someone and others will look at us and wonder where our eyes are . Yes looks play a important role in attraction , but it is not the only role. There is the persons personality ,how they treat you , how they treat others etc...
We all place importance on attraction otherwise none of us would be single and we would be with the first ,kind ,goodhearted and compassionate person we came across in life. | |
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| What is it about looks?
Posted: 11/8/2007 8:19:28 AM |
Without physical attraction all there can be is friendship
Funny that you make the distinction between physical attributes and friendship. My wife is my best friend and if a truck ran over her face tommorrow she'd still be my best friend.
I agree that physical attraction can be of importance when drawing you to someone for an initial meeting. The trend I see here on this dating site though is that people seem to go through endless trials of meeting people they are attracted to and then complaining about how he was only interested in sex or she is only interested in how many guys she can get to pay for dinner. If the current method of dating aint workin for ya try something different. Maybe try really, really reading someones profile and not worry about the pic so much or the physical dimensions.
I have a cousin who dated a beautiful model and went through a bad experience. Eventually he married a woman who was not considered attractive at all. All I heard from different family memebers was how ugly the girl was that my cousin married. When I met her I didn't think she looked all that bad but what a heart this person had. Within a couple of hours in this person's presence I could see why my cousin married her. | |
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| What is it about looks?
Posted: 11/8/2007 8:38:09 AM | ((My wife is my best friend and if a truck ran over her face tomorrow she'd still be my best friend.))
While it's wonderful that you will always count her as your best friend if you have no romantic or sexual feelings for her then the place inside all of us that craves romantic love will be very deprived . In this kind of platonic friendship/marriage ,very few people will actually be fulfilled and happy.
You are reading only what you want to read out of other peoples post . How about you try really reading the whole thing. I said that someone does not have to be physically perfect in order to be attractive to others. I also said that many times we are attracted to other people who most of society would not consider an attractive person. It has happened in the past where i have been attracted to men who would not be considered by modern society's standard attractive . One man i remember in particular made my knees weak . The thing was that i was not attractive enough for him.
Do not assume that i only look at photographs and don't read profiles . I appreciate a man who has taken the time to write out a well thought out and interesting profile. I don't have too many preferences as far as looks goes. Some of the things i just can't get over are piercings ,tattoos and facial hair. I am not so attracted to really skinny men ,but if i met someone who i really liked who was skinny i would definitely still date him and get to know him better. | |
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| What is it about looks?
Posted: 11/8/2007 9:17:33 AM | | lets face it we all are attracted to who we like. that is just life. like for me these guys put there pics up showing huge muscles but i like thin men. just like men have told me thay like women who are a size b cup.it does not bother me. everyone is different . | |
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| What is it about looks?
Posted: 11/8/2007 12:40:06 PM | I'd have to side with the second post on this thread:
It's not shallow to not be physically attracted to someone.
It's just the way it is sometimes.
You can't force yourself to be attracted to someone. It's impossible.
It IS...how it is...
Remember the name of the website you're reading this response on... | |
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| What is it about looks?
Posted: 11/9/2007 5:36:32 PM |
You say that lack of physical attraction is the point where you decide that a relationship does not continue. That means that you make it the most important factor.
Ignoring a minor issue, for whatever reason, will make it grow and grow until it becomes THE deciding issue.
Anyway, looks ARE important in establishing a relationship. You need to be attractive (or at least attention-grabbing), to get things started. Having said that, not EVERYONE is going to find you attractive.
!Les  | |
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| What is it about looks?
Posted: 11/9/2007 5:43:27 PM | | My opinion is different. Take time to get to know him. Sometimes we are not attracted to a mans looks right away but sometimes as we get to know a person and the goodness in them we start to see attractiveness in them. I dated many men that I thought were ugly at first but after I got to know them I saw them in a whole new light and sometimes you just never get past the looks. Just be friends with him for now. If he will not settle for that it is his loss. | |
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| What is it about looks?
Posted: 11/9/2007 5:46:53 PM | | I was going to say something but I'd rather go RVing w/ you...... | |
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| What is it about looks?
Posted: 11/9/2007 5:50:58 PM | Just be friends with him for now.
Just an observation:
A lot of people will see the "just friends" as a condescension, a consolation prize ("You're not good enough to consider romantically, but I wanna keep you around for [insert reason here] ). And, the "for now" could be seen as a manipulation; building up false hope for a future that may never come.
!Les | |
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| What is it about looks?
Posted: 11/9/2007 6:09:00 PM |
Another thing to think about is that in the time you are with him you could be finding one you are attracted to. OY, that bites. I know, it's happened to me and it is NOT fun: I did like a guy & we basically had the same sense of humour and compatible values, etc. but he wasn't what I wanted physically -AT ALL- and it never felt like I was finished 'shopping'.
Then I met someone who excited me a lot, but I don't cheat so I had to let him go. The exciting one was also one with the qualities the other one had. I absolutely dread having to 'settle', or to have some guy (who deserves better) feel like HE is 'settling' for me!
It bugs me all the more if I'm what he wants but it's not mutual.
Oddly enough, if I'm not someone's type even tho' he turns my crank, it's okay because I can just be happy I got a chance to feel that way for a little while. | |
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| What is it about looks?
Posted: 11/9/2007 6:10:20 PM | I say don’t.
To me it is settling. Not to mention unfair to the other person.
For every Jack there is a Jill. A true two way match.
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Oh man ...... I just did it again - read the OP and failed to look at the date. | |
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| What is it about looks?
Posted: 11/9/2007 6:22:32 PM | Well, the Marlboro Man died of cigarette caused lung cancer and showed he was really a decent person when he did an ad sponsored by the American Cancer Society where he apologized to the American public for participating in the promotion of a deadly addictive substance.
I don't know the womans perspective, many of us guys who don't think we have anything special about our looks so very well with extremely attractive women, even ugly guys. It's much different for guys, more difficult, we have ingrained in us certain expectations based on what we are accustomed to from experience, the media and some things that are sheer instinct on a bio-chemical level, some instilled by mother nature to keep the species going. You may overcome your feeling about looks being a woman? If it's a basic emotional revulsion that turns you off it may linger in your mind and you might always hold that which could impair your ability to continue your relationship long term?
It's my experience with women that if you find them attractive at first you can maintain some of that first impression as the years go on and time takes its toll, that's what makes that "it" important as far as I'm concerned. I'm very aware of how I feel about a womans looks upon early impressions and I must take it seriously even if it seems at all superficial. I'm also really spoiled by my experiences, that doesn't make this stuff easy at all. Looks are just a beginning, no matter how beautiful a woman might seem at first all the rest of the stuff that counts really counts. | |
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| What is it about looks?
Posted: 12/13/2007 3:23:42 PM | | Hey youre not shallow...its your life and you have to be happy with the person youre spending it with! There's nothing wrong with being picky! I am...Its very hard to find that person that does it for you on the emotional AND physical level. Sure there are lots of great looking guys out there, but there might be nothing there for you when it comes to their personality...and vice versa...Im having the same problem...you have to be attracted to the person both physically and emotionally... | |
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