| what white girls think about indian men & married life?
Posted: 2/4/2008 9:14:49 AM | Romanticmale....
I am of South Asian ancestry....and like you I was NOT born and bred in India.
I know what I like...my preferences I believe have something to do with my upbringing, my surroundings...what I am familiar with.
I live in a very 'whitebread town'..... not many South Asians around when I was growing up. I too prefer Caucasians as my partners/dating.
I was not raised in a tradtional Indian home, with the traditions and the cultural beliefs. Much to my distress sometimes because I don't have much idea of my heritage...but anyhow..neither here nor there.
my point exactly RomanticMale... you do not have the cultural restrictions that you may of had if you were born, raised in India well into your adulthood and seeking to date a Caucasian woman. | |
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| what white girls think about indian men & married life?
Posted: 2/4/2008 9:35:47 AM | Dear WesternRose,
Hi, how are you. Thanks for your reply. My original response was to to the quote where you said that the strictness to his religion will be a factor in being with a Caucasian woman. This is where i get confused because i am a very very very strict baptised Sikh and i always fall in love with Caucasion women. I just wish that i could start dating soon because i am in my 30's and have never had a girlfriend or even kissed a woman yet. What must i do to attract a woman? | |
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| what white girls think about indian men & married life?
Posted: 2/12/2008 9:34:24 PM | WesternRose
I still think you are generalizing far too much, I have many friends who are Indian and Pakistani from different types of religious backgrounds some strict and some not, and the fact is this doesn't decide for them whom they wish to date. Yes there are probably more obstacles to overcome coming from a strict religious background but then again it depends on the people themselves and not their culture or religion. | |
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| what white girls think about indian men & married life?
Posted: 2/12/2008 9:41:34 PM | In reply to Duckling and Nebula
Your view of the treatment of women in India is based on a few things you have heard. And you must admite you are not from India and from the sounds of it you don't know many Indian people as well.
Yes some places in India women are thought less of compared to men and some places in India women are still forced into arranged marriages. But these places are few and usually tend to be in the poorer areas.
India is not so far behind in the times as people like to believe, most women are not forced into arranged marriages but infact are allowed to date and then they and the person they are seeing will ask for parents permission to marry not to much unlike here in North America.
And from my experince Inidan women are not abused or looked down upon infact quite the opposite. They are spoiled and given everything they need and also seem to be the "boss" in most family situations. But now I am generalizing myself. Because this most likely is not how it is everywhere just like not all Indian men think themselves superiir to women. | |
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| what white girls think about indian men & married life?
Posted: 2/13/2008 1:53:37 PM | Dear AppearsInnocent,
Hi, how are you. I hope that you have had a chance to view my contributions to this discussion. What do you think about me as a full Sikh man and my chances of finding someone?, it would be great to hear your feedback. | |
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| what white girls think about indian men & married life?
Posted: 2/15/2008 3:38:58 PM | Romantic
I'm doing pretty well and yourself? I have actually read your contributions to this discussion and agree with alot you had to say. In answer to your question I think your chances of finding someone are high whether you are Sikh or not. I'm sure that if the person you endup being serious with isn't from the same relgious or cultural background then it will present more obstacles to overcome. If your willing to work through them then I think you could devlop a very strong relationship with any woman. | |
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| what white girls think about indian men & married life?
Posted: 2/15/2008 8:49:44 PM | | I wouldn't reject someone just because he was Indian. I would, however, reject someone who was religious, whether it was Muslim, Christian, Jewish or any other because religion is an important part of people's lives and I don't care to be part of it. I wouldn't be true to myself and it wouldn't be fair to him to have someone who didn't care about something that big a part of him. | |
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| what white girls think about indian men & married life?
Posted: 2/24/2008 8:17:50 AM | Dear appearsinnocent,
i am fine. I would say that culture is no barrier because my culture is English. Believe it or not, the women that see a cultural barrier with me are Sikh women. Sikh women avoid me like the plague because i wear a turban. | |
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| what white girls think about indian men & married life?
Posted: 2/24/2008 8:34:24 AM | Dear Piscescoda,
Hi, how are you. In response to your comment, if i go for a Caucasion women then there is a 100% chance that she will be from a different religion from me so what am i going to do ? You might turn around and say that "well, why dont you date a woman from your own religion?" The only problem is that women from my own religion dont like men who wear turbans and they avoid me like i am a foriegn man. Because of this, i am not socially exposed to Sikh/East Indian women as women from this background view me as an outsider.
You will not believe this but East Indian women assume that because i wear a turban that i am not interested in East Indian women. I have a close friend who is 35 years old who is a full Sikh and his family just cannot find a suitable Sikh girl for him as he gets turned down when the girls find out that he has a turban and beard. Then one of his aunts told him that he would be better off with a white woman because no East Indian woman is going to accept a turbanned man in this day and age. What do you think about that?
I just dont understand, if every woman rejected a religious man then where will he go? My religion is for me and only for myself and has nothing to do with the woman that i will have a family with. I use Sikhism to make myself a better person and use it a guide to make me a better rounded individual and responsible man to help prepare me for a relationship with a woman just like yourself. Dont you think so? | |
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| what white girls think about indian men & married life?
Posted: 5/24/2008 8:38:16 PM | | i am indian n i only date white girls due to fact is that i feel free wen i date white girls n on a plus i am more white inside then indian n ur hot so any english women wanna say hi ur more then welcome peace. | |
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| what white girls think about indian men & married life?
Posted: 5/30/2008 9:04:15 AM | Hey guys,
Prty cool to see people respond to the forums.. I'm an indian/canadian... and i agree/ disagree with some of the stuff said on these forums. I do agree that many times women are (forced) into marrying the opposite sex because of their parents/ family. I do agree that cast system plays a huge part in this ( P.S- i am christian) even though this is irrelevant to me. I have even noticed that INDIAN parents usually look at wealth, power and position in society and i TOTALLY DISAGREE with it. I agree that women arent treated with respect and should play a bigger role in society... AND I AGREE that its a VERY male dominant culture.... Being a canadian i ve also noticed that women here arent being treated as well.. but its definatly btter that anywher else.
My gf used to be caucasian (white).. and i have HEAPS of respect for her.. we didnt work out cause it was long distance relationship... all i got to say is.. we had an amazing time together..
My parents are pretty cool about all this... they are in between... this is what they told me (( we do believe that arranged marriage works-- look at us-- but well never force it upon you-- love is something that needs to be found and experienced-- if love is something other than an arranged marriage.. so be it))
Most Indians are starting to realize that people of difference cultures have more to offer than what they could imagine.. its a slow process... but getting there
For all those have a negative picture about the indian culture... im sorry you feel that way.. there are some great guys/ gals out there... with so much to offer.. dont give up on us yet!! | |
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| what white girls think about indian men & married life?
Posted: 5/30/2008 9:25:58 AM | | I "tolerate" them the same way I "tolerate" every other man, regardless of race/religion. I think over time, a sense of comfort would develop as the two got used to each others tendencies. I believe interracial dating/marriage is a wonderful thing, especially for people who have an open mind and are interested in learning about other cultures. I don't think any one particular culture is perfect, so maybe mixing the two would get it right :) | |
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| what white girls think about indian men & married life?
Posted: 5/31/2008 1:33:56 PM | This comment makes one point abundantly clear: The women who would flatly refuse to date a man because of his race are usually not attractive enough to warrant much consideration either way.
I have to point out the silliness of questions regarding how "white women" think of "indian men". The absurdity of grouping "white women" together as a homogenous group represented by only one opinion has already been pointed out - a white WOMAN, or any woman for that matter, will have her own thoughts. But the absurdity I am even less pleased by is that of the term "indian men" being used as a homogeneous whole. Are there not some which are attractive, and some who aren't? Some who treat women exceptionally well, and others who don't? And this doesn't account for any geographic representation of the Indian population either. For instance in Vancouver, BC, it is not at all uncommon for a 25 y/o Indian man to be a gang member involved with the drug trade. If you move to the Bay Area of California in Fremont, the odds of a 25 y/o being a college graduate Computer Engineer are quite high.
If you are interested in caucasian women, I think a better question might be one of these: "Would you be open to dating a college-educated, attractive Indian man, who is open to other cultures, if you were of a different culture and ethnicity?"
Notice the difference? It doesn't leave you open to all the silly stereotypes people will apply to the race as a whole - and I suppose they have every right to, when you are asking them to comment on "indian men" as a group.
Or "Would you consider dating an Indian guy who does not want to marry a caucasian woman, but is interested only in dating/sex with a caucasian woman?"
As you could imagine, you'll likely get a different set of responses. The point is that you need to take some accountability for your personal characteristics instead of passively relegating yourself to a general group of over a billion people, and letting the stereotypes apply to you for better or worse. I've found that women are very receptive to a genuine guy no matter what his race, and often times if you are willing to overcome that slight discomfort MANY people feel when communicating with someone outside of their cultural group (whether they admit it or not), a woman will actually appreciate your effort in helping bridge the divide between two cultures.
And I'm not a huge fan of inviting women to judge me as a chance to qualify me to their own values before they even know who I am. It's a concept you should explore, especially while highlighting who you are as a person instead of just asking for an opinion of the group you happen to fall under. Don't ask women what they think of Black cars, then wait for them to tell you all about how they get dirty too quickly, how scratches show up too easily, and they get way too hot in the summer. Simply state that you have a '66 Mustang Convertible, 289ci V8, great condition, original AM radio, fully restored, black on black, and then see who is interested in a test drive. | |
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| what white girls think about indian men & married life?
Posted: 6/22/2008 10:06:41 PM | I saw this same stuff posted in another forum, and I don't see any valid reason to gloat as an. Indian man, from India. I have no intention for insulting my culture, but I see things the way they are, and what you've regurgitated twice so far, is pure bull-s**t.
Like people have already mention, a 1% divorce rate does not mean a "happy married life." A lot of women and men in an arranged marriage, that I've known, live a life of adjustment and compromise. I know a lot of couples who don't enjoy a romantic vacation or do anything romantic, and simply lead mechanized lives, with the occasional "happily married" act thrown in when relatives come to visit. It clearly is a coerced situation for the couple, primarily because our society is predominantly based on pleasing our elders. As individuals, we have to make sure that our parents like the girl of our choosing and we more often than not, have a wedding that our parents want (simply because they didn't get to have the wedding that they wanted when they were married). It's a vicious cycle that's sapping at our abilities to live as free people, in the name of tradition that needs to die off. If it's not that, then it's about the children. Couples have to stay together for their children, no matter how unhappy and suffocating their marriage is, just so that some self-righteous f*** down the street doesn't point fingers and say something bad or that their child may not get admitted to a school because school authorities may not accept a child without a "father's name/surname."
While, I don't say that there aren't married couples in India (arranged or otherwise) who do lead happy lives and enjoy the romance, I don't think 99% of married couples in India fall in that category. That's the reason why I have issues with people like you regurgitating statistics and equating them for "happily married ever-after" scenarios. | |
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| what white girls think about indian men & married life?
Posted: 6/23/2008 7:20:45 AM | | I would have married my (unfortunately) ex in a split second and he was Indian. I think it's a matter of both people being totally committed and determined to make it work. I also think that, more often than not, Indian families (or most Asian families, rather) have a hard time accepting caucasian people into the family. | |
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| what white girls think about indian men & married life?
Posted: 6/26/2008 9:19:49 AM |
Like people have already mention, a 1% divorce rate does not mean a "happy married life." A lot of women and men in an arranged marriage, that I've known, live a life of adjustment and compromise. I know a lot of couples who don't enjoy a romantic vacation or do anything romantic, and simply lead mechanized lives, with the occasional "happily married" act thrown in when relatives come to visit. It clearly is a coerced situation for the couple, primarily because our society is predominantly based on pleasing our elders. As individuals, we have to make sure that our parents like the girl of our choosing and we more often than not, have a wedding that our parents want (simply because they didn't get to have the wedding that they wanted when they were married). It's a vicious cycle that's sapping at our abilities to live as free people, in the name of tradition that needs to die off. If it's not that, then it's about the children. Couples have to stay together for their children, no matter how unhappy and suffocating their marriage is, just so that some self-righteous f*** down the street doesn't point fingers and say something bad or that their child may not get admitted to a school because school authorities may not accept a child without a "father's name/surname."
Pleasing elders is not slavery. Its a way of showing respect and thanking them for what they have done for you. No person can payback the love, effort and hardships of parents while you were growing up. I am sure those who are parents themselves will understand it very well. Our parents put their kid's lives as a priority over their own. They don't party or have fun times because of us. Its a shame you talk about freedom from your responsibilities.
No marriage is all goody, happy marriage. Up & downs are part of it. Generally no parent are well wishers and I agree that sometimes we do things which we don't agree but its nothing.
The reason many Indians don't marry Caucasians is because of any of the following reasons (not exhaustive)
1. Language barrior
2. Notion that Caucasians prefer to say in nuclear family. In other words staying away from them.
3. Less committed to marriage
4. Cultural differences.
On high level its just that our parents think they won't get similar respect from Caucasians. Reading to most comments here I don't think we can blame them for this view.
A man who forgets parents is not worth trusting. | |
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| what white girls think about indian men & married life?
Posted: 6/26/2008 12:32:12 PM |
but mutual love ,respect, peace are guarenteed
let's see....ya'll force them to cover their hair & bodies...they aren't allowed to look another man in the eyes...you cut off their clits....& you can legally kill them if you want....from what I hear anyhow...
yet you say they are guaranteed love, respect & peace?...dude, they just haven't figured out how to kill all of you yet & take over their country...I see it coming though...
I hope they aren't all like that....& I know it's not fair, but an Indian man tries to talk to me & I run in the other direction...an American Indian though....now that
s a different story... | |
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| what white girls think about indian men & married life?
Posted: 6/26/2008 12:40:46 PM | | Ok, forget the race thing for a minute. Instead my question is ....would you date a Sikh man?....... when i mean a Sikh man, i dont mean the clean shaven and clean cut guys, i am talking about SIKH men. I am saying this because Sikh women totally reject us and marry non-Sikh men because Sikh women hate men with turbans. | |
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| what white girls think about indian men & married life?
Posted: 6/26/2008 2:45:29 PM |
let's see....ya'll force them to cover their hair & bodies...they aren't allowed to look another man in the eyes...you cut off their clits....& you can legally kill them if you want....from what I hear anyhow...
yet you say they are guaranteed love, respect & peace?...dude, they just haven't figured out how to kill all of you yet & take over their country...I see it coming though...
wow.. you see no difference in religion, culture and color. I am sure you bunked your history & Geography classes. | |
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| what white girls think about indian men & married life?
Posted: 6/26/2008 2:52:16 PM | Given every response defending Indian 'culture', typically by Indian males, I'd say the post themselves are explanation enough for why women of European descent would be disinclined to take these guys seriously. I mean, have a fling maybe but not as anything serious.
And those of you trying to say that women in that culture are treated equally are on a campaign and nothing more. It's propoganda and denial of known facts. You know darn well you would expect your 'white' wife to adopt Indian culture, traditions, customs, and beliefs. You know darn well you would expect her to fully immerse herself in your family and be subjagated to your goals and ideals to the abandonment of her own.
Yeah, I can't imagine WHY most white women wouldn't want anything to do with it. I mean, those sunglasses are SO sexy   | |
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| what white girls think about indian men & married life?
Posted: 6/26/2008 2:52:58 PM |
Ok, forget the race thing for a minute. Instead my question is ....would you date a Sikh man?....... when i mean a Sikh man, i dont mean the clean shaven and clean cut guys, i am talking about SIKH men. I am saying this because Sikh women totally reject us and marry non-Sikh men because Sikh women hate men with turbans.
Buddy, answer for you is simple. Personal preference. Marriage or dating decision are based on more than one thing. I totally understand when any girl says that you are not my type. But there are many idiots out their who have lived in their own world with their own self gratifying theories.
Regardless there are many sikh girls out there who won't look at guy like me who has hair cut. They seek only Sikh turbaned guy. Unfortunately, you won't find them on this site. They might be reciting their prayers. | |
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| what white girls think about indian men & married life?
Posted: 6/26/2008 3:14:08 PM |
Given every response defending Indian 'culture', typically by Indian males, I'd say the post themselves are explanation enough for why women of European descent would be disinclined to take these guys seriously. I mean, have a fling maybe but not as anything serious.
I think most of the girls here mentioned that Indian men don't enter into serious relationship outside their own race. I don't think its color which is playing a role here. Its the reason that its may not be seen workable. Reasons could be parents, personal or cultural etc.
And those of you trying to say that women in that culture are treated equally are on a campaign and nothing more. It's propoganda and denial of known facts.
What is your source? news media? also.. equality is very relative word. Ofcourse, no body is denying female fanticides, dowry etc.. but are you suggesting its only you "wise" guys are aware about this? That Indians don't recognize this and not doing anything about it?
You know darn well you would expect your 'white' wife to adopt Indian culture, traditions, customs, and beliefs. You know darn well you would expect her to fully immerse herself in your family and be subjagated to your goals and ideals to the abandonment of her own.
I agree, I think that's the reason some of Indians don't marry caucasians. Right or wrong stereotypes exists for both races.
It takes interaction, communication and discussions on such forums to hear about other side. Its an opinion!!! not a decree. | |
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