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| Cheating - are both involved parties to blame?
Posted: 9/30/2005 10:55:52 AM | | the 'other woman' or 'other man' ARE in the wrong if they're aware they're messing around with someone who has a mate who would not approve of the messing around. | |
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ba2712
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Joined: 9/20/2005
Msg: 28 | |
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| Cheating - are both involved parties to blame?
Posted: 9/30/2005 1:34:55 PM | | I myself am fixing to go through a divorce becuase my soon to be ex husband was sleeping with some nasty little thing he worked with. I honestly dont think that it is always both parties fault. I still refuse to take any part of the blame for that. Sure..I know that I am a **** most of the time and I am a hard person to live with at times. Doesnt mean that it is ok to drop your pants for anyone who comes along though. Even through the problems I was still faithful. I asked his little friend (who he moved in with not even a week after us splitting) if she thought that it was right for her to be sleeping with a married man. She tried to tell me that she didnt know that he was married. Funny thing about that. The **** was in my house a few weeks before that and didnt notice the wedding photos on the wall. How stupid can one person be.lol. From being in the situation myself I think that the person cheating is as much to blame as the person who he/she is sleeping with. It does take two. Maybe it would help if they stop to remember who they are really hurting. It sure as hell wasnt themselves. | |
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| Cheating - are both involved parties to blame?
Posted: 9/30/2005 1:36:56 PM | | ^^^^And as far as it not ALWAYS being both parties fault. If you HONESTLY dont know that they are commited to someone else then I could see where you have a justified reason as to not feel any blame. In my case..If you know..Then, yea, you BOTH are to blame! | |
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| Cheating - are both involved parties to blame?
Posted: 9/30/2005 2:10:59 PM | | I split with my ex because she cheated but I hold no malice against the other guy (a little towards my ex ;), yea he might be lacking something not to have said no but at the end of the day, it was my partner and I who made me the commitment, no one else. I think people can change or just plain surprise you, unless it was pre-planned, scum maybe a little harsh - such is the roulette wheel of life... | |
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| Cheating - are both involved parties to blame?
Posted: 9/30/2005 7:21:12 PM | | I'm still leaning towards the both parties are wrong... in MOST cases... but I guess I just see this (after much discussion) as not a purely black and white issue anymore - there is room for some gray area. | |
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| Cheating - are both involved parties to blame?
Posted: 9/30/2005 7:38:22 PM | | of course both parties are to blame...if your going to cheat on your boyfriend/girlfriend, then why are you with them in the first place...and if the other party involved knows your with someone then they should have enough common sense to say hey wait a minute... | |
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| Cheating - are both involved parties to blame?
Posted: 9/30/2005 7:45:59 PM | We're all going to offer individual answers because we have different values around this type of thing.
Personally, I don't agree with open relationships and I don't agree with having sex outside of a relationship. I believe it's best to have a relationship where you can have your sexual needs met and anything else is just using them for something.
So for me, both were wrong before any sex even happened with whomever because the whole relationship was wrong from the start...but that's only how I see it. | |
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| Cheating - are both involved parties to blame?
Posted: 10/3/2005 12:33:47 PM | 'B' final answer.
But what about all those hot married girls sending me messages. If they have an agreement with their spouse and just want fun, then it is like they are single and its only me that is not cheating on anyone (because I am single). I feel like a politician on this one. Monica should share in the blame with Bill.
Now I'm trying to support the single ones involved in the cheating.
Somebody stop me .... these girls are hot and ready to travel.
see my thread - Married woman and dating ???
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts2077720.aspx
why didn't that link ???
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| Cheating - are both involved parties to blame?
Posted: 10/3/2005 12:59:02 PM | | Both are scum...I am afraid I am a little predjudice...I expect women to take the high road and not cheat...men think with their little head..for the most part...and sex is all that really matters to them. Based mostly on the experience with my ex...who cheated. I always blamed her more because she KNEW he was married. | |
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| Cheating - are both involved parties to blame?
Posted: 10/3/2005 1:14:39 PM |
onecoolchick: are saying I'm OK to go ahead ?
Is that one vote for 'yes' ?
And .... can you help me with why my link didn't work ?
I'm not saying yes or no... it's your decision. If they really are in agreement, then I don't see the problem... as long as you just want sex, and aren't trying to break up a relationship. There are people who function very well in "open" or "swinging" relationships... I have friends that do. I also have friends who are polyamorous (sp?) and that works very well for them.
There's a difference in being an outside third party for just sex and being a "home wrecker", I guess..... that's why I said this is not so black and white. I dunno.
And I don't know... did you add it from the original post or on edit? If you added it when you were editing... that could be why. | |
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| Cheating - are both involved parties to blame?
Posted: 10/3/2005 2:21:00 PM |
but I guess I just see this (after much discussion) as not a purely black and white issue anymore - there is room for some gray area.
OCC, where is there room for any gray area? What circumstances could possibly exist that say he at least alone isn't a cheating, lying scumbag?
1- If neither woman knows of the other then he is lying to both. = Cheating
2- If the 'other' woman knows of his woman then he is lying to his woman. = Cheating
3- If he is not getting pleased at home, maybe his woman is partially to blame for that. Could be blame on his part as well, but this does not turn cheating into a gray area.
4- If his woman knows and allows this, weather other woman knows of her or not. = Their life style, mute point.
As stated earlier, you're going to get differing opinions, all being personal opinions.
These just happen to be mine, and now it's time for  | |
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| Cheating - are both involved parties to blame?
Posted: 10/3/2005 2:27:35 PM | | so if the other person knew that you were involved with someone and they still went ahead and slept with you, yeah they arent looking much better in morality's eye, but whoever cheated is more to blame...the whole thing is messy and horrible, and no one should ever do it. If you are going to cheat on someone, just break up with them...its going to fall apart anyway. | |
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| Cheating - are both involved parties to blame?
Posted: 10/3/2005 2:30:24 PM | But electronmover ... you didn't see my story (my thread) ... and now you won't as the mods decided it has to be deleted ..... WOW my first deleted thread !!
I am propositioned by a hot married girl who is ready to travel .... they have an agreement with the husband .... I am single .... am I still cheating ?
unhhhh ... I'd like to use a lifeline and poll the audience. | |
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| Cheating - are both involved parties to blame?
Posted: 10/3/2005 2:38:14 PM | Right ..... guess no one wants to comment.
Then if a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it ... does it make a sound?
And ... what is the sound of one hand clapping? | |
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| Cheating - are both involved parties to blame?
Posted: 10/3/2005 2:41:30 PM | | no one wants to comment... because they already have commented. Not on YOUR situation specifically, but those who think it's wrong, are still going to think it's wrong... whether it's you or anyone else. | |
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| Cheating - are both involved parties to blame?
Posted: 10/3/2005 3:14:50 PM |
But electronmover ... you didn't see my story (my thread) ... and now you won't as the mods decided it has to be deleted ..... WOW my first deleted thread !!
You're right, I didn't read your thread, but I did read your posts here and figured I garnished enough info from that. Perhaps an assumption on my part, oh well.
I am propositioned by a hot married girl who is ready to travel .... they have an agreement with the husband .... I am single .... am I still cheating ?
You asked, so here goes. By strict definition, since you are single and I assume w/o a significant other, you're not the one actually cheating. But I'd certainly consider you guilty by association. You know this woman is married yet you're only thinking with your little head. Have you given thought to what harm you may be helping to facilitate in the long run?
When you say "ready to travel"? Do you mean ready to stray?
unhhhh ... I'd like to use a lifeline and poll the audiance.
You know my vote. | |
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| Cheating - are both involved parties to blame?
Posted: 10/3/2005 3:33:08 PM | Well ... guess I gotta keep the self-promoting to a minimum ... so zzzzziiipp
Send me a message if you wanna ......
To answer electronmover:
[When you say "ready to travel"? Do you mean ready to stray?]
I meant she's not in my city ... and ready to travel means to my house for the weekend. If you saw her pic you would understand my problem !!
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