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| Cheating - are both involved parties to blame?
Posted: 10/3/2005 3:48:08 PM |
If you saw her pic you would understand my problem !!
How would that help me understand 'your' problem? "Your' problem is evident to most all here, two heads with only enough oxygen for one to think. Which one do you think we're thinking you're thinking with?
What do you even know about this woman, other than she's married? Think man, youth is wasted on the young. | |
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| Cheating - are both involved parties to blame?
Posted: 10/3/2005 6:36:26 PM | it is wrong for the cheater even if its only for sex if your with someone hopefully you love them and they are giving their heart to you their trust their all ans why on earth would you want to destroy such a wonderful gift its a**hole like that that keep some of us lonely and all because someone just wanted to get their rocks off | |
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| Cheating - are both involved parties to blame?
Posted: 10/3/2005 6:48:44 PM | My roommates have had this discussion many times... Here is what we have decided:
1. If you are in a relationship and you cheat, you are scum.
2. If you are single and know that the other person is in a relationship, you are scum, but to a lesser degree than the person in an actual relationship
3. If you didn't know the other person was in a relationship, you are not scum. If you find out and continue, you are upgraded to scum status
4. If both people are in relationships, both are full scum in regards to the relationship that they are cheating on, but only partial scum to the relationshio of the other person
5. If you are in a relationship and cheat but then leave your original relationship, you are scum until and unless you tell both parties. If you only tell the current person, you can be upgraded to partial scum if they forgive you. If you don't tell the former person, you are a partial wimp. If you don't tell either party, you are both full scum and a full wimp.
6. If you cheat and tell, you are relieved of scum status if your partner forgives you and you don't cheat again. Then again, your partner may now be given "idiot" status.
7. Once you cheat, you are scum. It doesn't matter if you do it once or one hundred times, all that changes is the number of people you have to confess to in order to lose scum and wimp status
Hope this helps!
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| Cheating - are both involved parties to blame?
Posted: 10/3/2005 7:43:15 PM | | This is a hillarious question, because it has recently happened to me. I think I was nieve to pretend that nothing was happening...But when I got that phone call, and she said she was just at a ski weekend with a friend, who happened to be her ex...i pretty much put two and two together. As for your question, are they both in the wrong? This is my opinion; the one doing the cheating is in the wrong and the person they are doing is not...ITS HUMAN NATURE, its just a matter if you can control it or not. The person they are doing has the unfortunateness of having all the BS fall on them for something that anybody would do. | |
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| Cheating - are both involved parties to blame?
Posted: 10/4/2005 10:30:41 AM | well since this threads dying out leave it to me....
all are at fault
the two people cheating and the one who didn't do what they were supposed to do to keep them from cheating....
think about it honestly if you were keeping your spouse of loved one happy why would they need to cheat....think about it | |
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| Cheating - are both involved parties to blame?
Posted: 10/4/2005 10:36:50 AM | AH the good old who to beat up thread...
Well I have been cheated on.. I walked in on my boyfriend of two and a half years banging one of my so called friends... I grabbed him threw him in a room locked him in it, and then went out to the girl and told her when I was done with my bf she was next... and that i was giving her a five minute window to get the f*ck out of my face..
Well after I broke my bf's nose she was gone..
What im slowly trying to get at is, he was to blame first, he was my lover my best friend my boyfriend.. She was to blame secondly because she knew we were together, she was supposedly a friend of mine and therefore she too f*cked up..
BUT* If i did not know the chick then it would have been solely my boyfriends fault. And only one a$$ kicking would be neccesary. | |
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| Cheating - are both involved parties to blame?
Posted: 10/4/2005 5:20:12 PM | | It goes like this. IF you want to live with someone, don't expect anything. You hav eto realize people make mistakes. And now women are commiting infidelity more than men are. I believe that if she wants to have sex with another man, it's good. If she is healthy and safe there is nothing wrong. IF you cheat as a form of revenge, you're sick. IF you bang some other girl/guy for fun, you must really want it. Plus, why would he sleep with someone else if you are doing your job and you have a healthy relationship. IF love is on the rox, expect infidelity. Sex can bring a couple back together, or tear them apart. | |
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| Cheating - are both involved parties to blame?
Posted: 10/4/2005 6:27:32 PM | | YES both are to blame no matter what it takes two to do it so... If i ever found my MAN with another woman and it was not a three some i would kick HER ASS THEN HIS....................... | |
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| Cheating - are both involved parties to blame?
Posted: 10/4/2005 9:40:10 PM | | OneCoolChick, thanks for commenting on Simasimic on the condom post. by the way, I'm sorry to hear that you getting abused, you don't deserve it. Keep on being yourself and rockin that Jetson Tshirt. What is that characters name? JUdy? I posted on here and I don't know if you agree but cheating doesn't happen in my world. I've never fealt cheated by anyone. It's all one gbig lesson we have to learn. | |
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kce33
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Joined: 6/2/2005
Msg: 65 | |
| Cheating - are both involved parties to blame?
Posted: 10/5/2005 11:02:14 AM | the truth is if the guy was getting screwed at home he would not be out cheating, therefore i would blame his live-in girlfriend ..
thats the way it is out here in the real world... just ask any guy, if he is honest he will tell you | |
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| Cheating - are both involved parties to blame?
Posted: 10/8/2005 2:19:50 PM | | not a big fan of the word "blame", but i would have to share the responsibility for any relationship that breaks down...cheating is just one of many ways that people act out their unhappiness, rather than to communcate their needs openly and honestly... | |
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| Cheating - are both involved parties to blame?
Posted: 11/3/2005 3:57:56 AM | | Looks like everybody has different opinions here ... my opinion ... if you get with someone else while with someone ... you're scum ... if you get with someone who is with someone else - whether it is agreed between the two or not .. you're scum and that's just weird ... there are plenty of people out there that you don't need to pee in someone else's yard .. no matter how HOT they are ... | |
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| Cheating - are both involved parties to blame?
Posted: 11/3/2005 6:08:33 AM | Okay ... how about this: Bob, Mary and Jack.
Bob and Mary are in an open and sexual relationship.
Mary meets Jack, does not tell Jack about Bob.
Mary enters into a sexual relationship with Jack that Jack thinks is monogamous.
Mary returns to Bob and tells Bob about Jack.
Bob and Mary have "weekend" sex, and Mary returns back to Jack.
Who cheated on whom? | |
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| Cheating - are both involved parties to blame?
Posted: 11/3/2005 8:38:16 AM | | It's not cheating unless there are titles involved IE Boyfriend ,girlfriend , wife , or husband. Look if there are two people who just so happen to have sex every now and agian but choose not to have a title , then it lays on them not to gain feelings about the other parties involved.Even with titles there is some gray area as to what is exceptable behavior. | |
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| Cheating - are both involved parties to blame?
Posted: 11/3/2005 9:51:51 AM |
Nobody is wrong if it's just sex (sharing sensual feelings sexually with another human) and they both return to their respective others at the end of the day.
but... not if they are lying about it.
my question originally was this:
John has a girlfriend he lives with, Jane
John wants his buddy's friend, Joan
If John sleeps with Joan, without telling Jane... are both John and Joan to blame... or just John?
however, if Jane knows and doesn't give a rat's ass - then nobody is wrong. But Jane doesn't know and would probably care if she found out.
get it? | |
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| Cheating - are both involved parties to blame?
Posted: 11/3/2005 10:06:30 AM | actually, when I posted the question... I was Joan... I was single at the time.
I never slept with John, and had no plan to ... I was curious though about what people thought of the situation.
but I disagree with you... because if Jane (the wife/girlfriend) found out... it would ruin a relationship that was essentially happy except sexually. It would hurt her. So there is harm. | |
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| Cheating - are both involved parties to blame?
Posted: 11/3/2005 10:50:32 AM | | no - the decision to not sleep with John was based on not doing that to his girlfriend and kids.... I treat other people they way I'd like to be treated... unless they treat me badly first - then I don't give a rat's ass. | |
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| Cheating - are both involved parties to blame?
Posted: 11/3/2005 10:52:54 AM | | I'll never, ever get it... and I will never get how people get over the "lack of conscience">? How do you look your spouse in the eyes, when you sleep with someone else... >? I guess I'm just a terrible liar, cause I couldn't do it, no way~~ | |
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| Cheating - are both involved parties to blame?
Posted: 11/3/2005 11:02:20 AM | well... there's way more to the story than this...
these are the 'shades of grey' I was talking about earlier.... Jane isn't much interested in pleasing her man in bed... otherwise they are happy. He has a high sex drive, she doesn't. And she won't compromise at all.
they just arent sexual compatible... and she has her two kids now and for the most part - cut him off.
Really... if he goes elsewhere... why should he feel any more guilty conscious than her for not even trying?
that's all I'm saying... shades of grey.
and if another woman sleeps with him, no strings attached, and doesn't try to wreck his relationship or effect his family... is that such a terrible thing too?
shades of grey.... | |
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