| Cheating - are both involved parties to blame?
Posted: 11/3/2005 10:06:30 AM | actually, when I posted the question... I was Joan... I was single at the time.
I never slept with John, and had no plan to ... I was curious though about what people thought of the situation.
but I disagree with you... because if Jane (the wife/girlfriend) found out... it would ruin a relationship that was essentially happy except sexually. It would hurt her. So there is harm. | |
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| Cheating - are both involved parties to blame?
Posted: 11/3/2005 10:50:32 AM | | no - the decision to not sleep with John was based on not doing that to his girlfriend and kids.... I treat other people they way I'd like to be treated... unless they treat me badly first - then I don't give a rat's ass. | |
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| Cheating - are both involved parties to blame?
Posted: 11/3/2005 10:52:54 AM | | I'll never, ever get it... and I will never get how people get over the "lack of conscience">? How do you look your spouse in the eyes, when you sleep with someone else... >? I guess I'm just a terrible liar, cause I couldn't do it, no way~~ | |
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| Cheating - are both involved parties to blame?
Posted: 11/3/2005 11:02:20 AM | well... there's way more to the story than this...
these are the 'shades of grey' I was talking about earlier.... Jane isn't much interested in pleasing her man in bed... otherwise they are happy. He has a high sex drive, she doesn't. And she won't compromise at all.
they just arent sexual compatible... and she has her two kids now and for the most part - cut him off.
Really... if he goes elsewhere... why should he feel any more guilty conscious than her for not even trying?
that's all I'm saying... shades of grey.
and if another woman sleeps with him, no strings attached, and doesn't try to wreck his relationship or effect his family... is that such a terrible thing too?
shades of grey.... | |
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| Cheating - are both involved parties to blame?
Posted: 11/3/2005 11:57:53 AM | Sex is a way of reliving stress by achiving A little piece of heaven on earth.
Sex however is not A privlage so I personally think there all to blame for just never getting that far with it and just having A three-sum. | |
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| Cheating - are both involved parties to blame?
Posted: 11/3/2005 12:04:56 PM | | I think if the "sex" isn't so good, you learn to please yourself, and respect your wife... It all changes when the kids get older and you get some of your "normal" lives back ((the part of marriage that sucks)) It's not all romance, sex and honeymoon... But cheating, that's wrecking everything for good... They say the wife is the last one to know, but I don't think so. They usually know, but usually choose not to, in an effort to try to make things work... | |
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| Cheating - are both involved parties to blame?
Posted: 11/3/2005 12:15:45 PM | ummm ... no.
she had her kids, and that was the only reason he was getting booty. Now that she has them... she just doesn't want it anymore.
to me... that's HER problem. If she feels that way, she should give him her blessing to get some on the side.
respect your wife
what about respecting him? it's a two way street. | |
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| Cheating - are both involved parties to blame?
Posted: 11/3/2005 12:38:48 PM | My thinking is sort of along the lines of havanajoe's, but not quite as complex.
Cheating is defined as a committed partner not knowing that the partner is developing intimacy with another party(s).
Assume the fling-partner (#2) knows that the cheater (#1) is cheating.
#2 might also be cheating as well.
Both #1 and #2 are scum. No doubt about it.
The scum distribution is 60/40 in general in favor of #1 (assuming #1 is the initiator of the cheating relationship). This ratio can change if:
a) #2 is not cheating, aka is single/separated/partner doesn't care (maybe 70/30)
b) #1 is particularly more abusive to his/her so-called partner or to #2 (varies)
c) if #2 initiates the cheating, the ratio is 50/50 | |
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| Cheating - are both involved parties to blame?
Posted: 11/3/2005 12:54:58 PM | | of course theyboth share blame to some extent BUT . . . the problem I have is the stereotypical scene where the cheated on spouse confronts the person their spouse cheated with. The cheated on spouse has a beef with ONE person and that is their spouse. For them to confront the third party and take back the cheating spouse is ridiculous. | |
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| Cheating - are both involved parties to blame?
Posted: 11/3/2005 1:20:44 PM | | Why is the person married then>? Only for sex>? He shouldn't be married then> ? And make special time for her after dealing with kids, job, cleaning a house, etc, all day long... That's just selfish.... And, no marriage will survive that kind of thinking... | |
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