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| woman of intelligence...intimidating?
Posted: 10/3/2005 8:54:55 AM | | no not intimidating but a quality that's a must in my books. intelligence to me....is how she carries herself/ what she does with her time/ how she feels about herself/ how she relates to others( i.e. does she brag? does she condecend?) school intelligence is one thing to be socially intelligent is another. | |
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| woman of intelligence...intimidating?
Posted: 10/3/2005 8:57:34 AM | I find it...disappointing how many men I meet who find intelligence intimidating. I am strong-willed, driven, outgoing, and very smart. I'll have my MA in June. And the number of guys who are put off by a girl who is willing to have an intellectual debate with them, and who went through school faster than them, and who can frankly out-think them in some areas...it's appalling.
...having said that, I suppose it's better to find out sooner. I could never stay with someone long-term who wasn't interested in me for my mind, and I need to be interested in /his/ mind, too. Does that mean he needs to be a genius? No...just means that he has to actually like thinking, and be able to do independent thinking, rather than just following the crowd.
Just my $0.02.
~Blaze | |
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| woman of intelligence...intimidating?
Posted: 10/3/2005 9:14:48 AM | I'm surprised that this is even something people worry about.
Who WOULDN'T want someone with intelligence? I don't care about a mental competition, but I definitely like being around someone who challenges me and can keep up with me in a conversation.
I do get irritated with people (anyone - male or female) who insist on constantly *proving* how smart they are. These are the folks who often try to "win" every conversation and can't handle not being the smartest. That's probably some self-esteem thing. Those with intelligence (connotatively defined here as wit and formal and/or informal learning) and confidence don't need to mentally compete...and are usually very, very interesting people.
My experience has been that intelligence is not necessarily related to level of education. I've been in conversations with women who have never stepped foot on a college campus that were more intriguing than some conversations with women with Master's degrees. I have a Bachelor's degree, plan on pursuing a Master's for professional reasons and really, really enjoy a lively and relevant conversation.
But, back to my point...why wouldn't someone actively seek others (for dating or just social reasons) who are smart? | |
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| woman of intelligence...intimidating?
Posted: 10/3/2005 9:23:06 AM | | Some intellects can make you feel stupid cuz thats there aim is to be better then every1 else...and on the other hand a true intellect is smart enough to NOT make u feel less then them(Personal experience)....because we are no better then the next.............. | |
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| woman of intelligence...intimidating?
Posted: 10/3/2005 9:26:48 AM | | WHY would an intelligent woman intimidate you??? I get responses all the time that guys say "the one thing I like about you is that you seem intelligent and you can carry on an intelligent conversation".... | |
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Sid613
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Joined: 9/19/2005
Msg: 83 | |
| woman of intelligence...intimidating?
Posted: 10/3/2005 10:49:43 AM | What I generally find appalling is the general feeling from this thread. Most men could care less that the average woman is smarter, you simply have to accept that as fact now, since men are being left behind educationally. "Intelligence" and being "smart" are 2 separate beasts, the same as potential and kinetic energy. Women apply themselves better to structured education, plain and simple.
The only trouble occurs when women like to throw it in your face when you talk with them. I've never had the blessing of having my ego trounced in public on purpose by a woman, but I've seen it happen to friends. And, no, I don't mean after a lengthly conversation about the economic impact of terminal flatulism of the people of Naples. Simply, a get out of my presence you don't have a PhD sort of attitude coupled with scathing words I don't think I'd even use on someone I hated, let alone some poor guy who was simply trying to speak with you.
No man I've ever known has a problem with an intelligent and/or smart woman, but then again I've never known one to wish to stay with someone who quotes from memory what degrees, accomplishments, or other not so subtle ways to state how they are "better" than you are. For instance, "and who can frankly out-think them in some areas...it's appalling", not that I'm calling that person out, but when was the last thread you saw a man state how or what degree's he had in a thread?
Women can and are just as intimidated, as they don't wish to be second-class in a relationship, essentially feeling like they're not that person's first choice for a mate. At least lets be honest with each other, if carried correctly that intelligence and/or smarts can be used to intice the other individual, however human beings have fragile egos (no, not just men), and if weilded like a cinderblock to drop on the other's pinky-toe of course that person is going to shrink away which I think is the women's trouble for the women that have mentioned having issues in this area. That or it's just the players going after them, as anybody just looking to get laid wishes to know as little of your 'mind' as possible.
Just as an added note to chew on: Education has little to do with the ability to think, in fact it's also proven that the more education you have the harder it is to think outside of the boundries of what you were taught. So really, if you want "independent" thought, marry a H.S. dropout. | |
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| woman of intelligence...intimidating?
Posted: 10/3/2005 10:53:20 AM |
Just as an added note to chew on: Education has little to do with the ability to think, in fact it's also proven that the more education you have the harder it is to think outside of the boundries of what you were taught. So really, if you want "independent" thought, marry a H.S. dropout.
i have to respectfully disagree with this statement. | |
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dud
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Joined: 9/9/2005
Msg: 88 | |
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Sid613
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Joined: 9/19/2005
Msg: 89 | |
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| woman of intelligence...intimidating?
Posted: 10/3/2005 11:09:49 AM | it seems to me HS was just about regurgitation. college actually teaches a person how to think and how to form an opinion.
how to listen to peopl, how to be objective, how to hear both sides of a story.
it's only my experience, and nothing more than my own, but i have found that discussing/debating things with people who are educated is a thoroughly enjoyable experience. not as much with less educated people | |
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Sid613
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Joined: 9/19/2005
Msg: 93 | |
| woman of intelligence...intimidating?
Posted: 10/3/2005 11:12:57 AM | Sorry, guess you didn't like the terminal flatulance bit either...That's the trouble with text only interpretations of humor interjected with something semi-serious, even though frankly it shouldn't be.
As men want intelligence. No man I know wants to have children that try to use a pencil eraser to correct spelling mistakes in Winword. | |
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| woman of intelligence...intimidating?
Posted: 10/3/2005 11:19:07 AM | HB - what i really hate is the inability to value someone else's opinion and not being able to SHUT UP and admit someone else has a valid point. basically not knowing how to be a good listener because they were never taught. something i learned in communications 101
sid - no need to insult intelligence. i knew your fart joke was just that. your HS dropout jo0ke was not as clear. | |
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Sid613
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Joined: 9/19/2005
Msg: 95 | |
| woman of intelligence...intimidating?
Posted: 10/3/2005 11:23:23 AM |
^^^^agreed
It's terrible when you ant to have a discussion but have to explain every other word you say
If you really have to explain every other word, then the person either wasn't intelligent or wasn't paying attention. I can only think of a few conversations (that weren't completely technical) that would be frustrating on that level minus an higher level education so long as the person was actually capable of thinking. | |
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Sid613
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Joined: 9/19/2005
Msg: 96 | |
| woman of intelligence...intimidating?
Posted: 10/3/2005 11:26:28 AM | sid - no need to insult intelligence
As in me insulting yours or you insulting mine? I ment nothing by it if the former. It was simple statement as to this thread's base question.
The ability to listen to someone else's opinions or ideas having taken those classes is not something that can be taught by a center for higher learning. That in my opinion is more of an ability to not be self-centered and patient. I know you directed that to HB, but I thought I'd just comment on it. | |
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| woman of intelligence...intimidating?
Posted: 10/3/2005 11:34:00 AM | | I find intelligence the sexiest part of a woman---age, hey we all age, we sag, we droop, don't run like we did...but keep your mind young, keep it informed, and your lives (sexual, physical, spiritual) will continue to hit all cylinders. I've mentioned before that the "dumb" thing is cute for a while, but if I'm stimulated intellectually, there is no intimidation. What does occur, though, is better and better sex, as well as a better and better partner. Give me smart EVERY time. | |
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Sid613
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Joined: 9/19/2005
Msg: 99 | |
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| woman of intelligence...intimidating?
Posted: 10/3/2005 11:38:15 AM | i wasn't being insulting at all. i was just disagreeing with it
also, you can comment on anything said to anyone. i'm not selfish :)
i think being a good listener is definitely something someone has to work on AND learn about. same with critical thinking. if you are never made aware of the concept, how can you be sure you're doing it right? i think some people are better at it than others but it's a learned skill, not something you're born with | |
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