| Whats your most embarassing moment ever!
Posted: 10/29/2005 5:38:35 AM | Leece - you are just fab
One of my more recent ones
I work as a trainer - so I have to stand up and be professional in front of a room full of people - I know it's difficult to imagine but sometimes the bluff works.
So I'm delivering a 2 week course - during which time we have got to know each other quite well, and one of the girls asks - what did we do the night before. So I told them.
I have this great talent for saying something quite innocently - but it's always completely taken out of context.
So I said
" I was so tired that I fell asleep on the sofa"
"A mate came and woke me up" at which point giggles started
"But that was ok coz I knew he was coming" more giggles me, still totally unaware of what i was saying
"I didn't have to move though - coz he came round the back"
Hysterical laughter - from the men and women in the room
Me - "What's so funny - oh my god! - I've just realised what I've said"
I think they lost all respect for me after that | |
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| Whats your most embarassing moment ever!
Posted: 10/29/2005 5:44:30 AM | Then there was the time - again work related, when I was at a conference in Leeds
We are talking the big wigs - executive board kinda people
We have dinner in the hotel and go out
Flares nightclub - for those of you who know it
Me and the welsh girlies - first on the dance floor
I gradually manage to get most of the management from our office onto the floor
My poor boss - at one point I had him pinned against a wall whilst I shimmied like a good'un
So far - nothing out of the ordinary, not for me - and the local management all know me and love me for who I am
Executive Management Board - perhaps i should have weaned them in gently
But no
The deputy chief executive - of the United Kingdom Passport Service - didn't have a chance in hell
I saw
I beckoned
I said "hey you - come here!"
Poor bloke
I've been banned from ever going back | |
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Leece
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Joined: 10/9/2005
Msg: 104 | |
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| Whats your most embarassing moment ever!
Posted: 10/29/2005 5:55:51 AM | I try
And of course there was the time when I was out shopping with my son and my father
I don't drive so my Dad had taken me to Asda
My son was about 3 (now 17) and I still wince every time I think of it
Bearing in mind the very strict, don't talk about that kinda thing upbringing I had
I'm putting the stuff onto the conveyor belt - young son sat in trolley helping
And asking questions - as so all young children should
When onto the conveyor belt goes a pack of Tampax (size unimportant)
My son says "What are they for Mum?"
At which point I say don't worry about it, my dad starts to look a little embarrassed
And son shouts out - at the top of his voice
"I know - they are for your bad bottom aren't they"
My father says "Oh - children!"
The check out operator is in hysterics
The queue - also laughing
Me - slid to the floor in embarrassment | |
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Leece
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Joined: 10/9/2005
Msg: 107 | |
| Whats your most embarassing moment ever!
Posted: 10/29/2005 6:02:28 AM | Here's one for you... I am in the car driving along quite happily singing along to the radio when my Dan (aged 4 at the time) looks up at me and says "mummy, daddy has a willy doesn't he?"
So trying to be a progressive parent I look over and say "Yes son, daddy has a willy." (thinking please god let this subject end here)
Dan says "mummy uncle Robert has a willy doesn't he?"
I say "Yes Dan Uncle Robert does have a willy."
Dan says "Mummy, Granddad has a willy doesn't he)
I say "Yes son." (jaw is getting tighter by now)
Dan says "Mummy, I have a willy don't I?"
I say "Yes son, you have a willy, you wee wee out of it."
Dan says "Mummy, you don't have a willy, do you?
I say, "No son, I don't have a willy."
Dan says "Mummy, you're inferior"
I am in shock and almost crash the car
I say "You've been listening to your father again!!" | |
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| Whats your most embarassing moment ever!
Posted: 10/29/2005 6:12:03 AM | This could turn into a "I can top that one" competition
Next one
Young son - not the same one as the Tampax incident is sat on the sofa
He says "Mum I heard a word in school today - I'm not sure if its a bad word - can I tell you what it is?"
"Yes - of course you can!"
"Erection - is it a naughty word?"
"No, its not" says I
"What does it mean?"
"Well" says I "you know sometimes your willy gets big?"
"Yes" says he
"Well that's an erection" says I
Eldest son - in corner - hysterical
"So Mum?"
"Yes son?"
"What's a condom for?"
Eldest son - "Oh for goodness sake Tom - you're far too young to know that sorta stuff - you'll find out when you're older - now watch the Simpsons!"
so he did | |
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Leece
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Joined: 10/9/2005
Msg: 109 | |
| Whats your most embarassing moment ever!
Posted: 10/29/2005 6:16:11 AM | I had the condom conversation in the car (again) when the olympics was on... they mentioned that durex were sponsoring the athletes and had given them something like 50,000 condoms. Worked out as something like 25 condoms per athlete. Dan and Con wanted to know what they were talking about and what they were for.
So I explained the use of condoms etc... Dan's response was "mummy how will they have time for running and jumping and swimming, if they are supposed to be using these condoms and having sex?"
I think the child had a point? | |
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| Whats your most embarassing moment ever!
Posted: 10/31/2005 9:14:10 AM | Mine was a few years ago, went on hols to Tenerife with a friend of mine. Of course, we went out drinking and I pulled a girl that was staying at our hotel and she ended up back in my room at 3am. Anywho, she wasn't very quiet and when guys are 3 sheets to the wind it can take a while... (i.e till 7am)
So, she goes home on the Tuesday and we carry on with the hols. Saw a couple of girls in the room next door about but we didnt chat to them.
End of hols, transfer is like midnight and we get onto a deathly quiet coach and settle down.
The girls from the room next door sit behind us and one of them says "excuse me, what room were you in?" I told them and she proceeded to say in a loud voice in a deathly quiet coach that hadnt started moving ...
"so which one of you was responsible for keeping us awake all night the other night with your shagging?" My mate said "that'll be him"
So she carried on with "Honestly I thought you were killing the girl, you have some stamina" etc etc etc
I was soooooooo embarrassed, good job it was a dark coach as well as quiet!
Then when we got to the airport to check in she said in the queue " I wanna sit behind him on the flight home so I can keep him awake with ahh ahh ahh noises all flight!"
We ended up as good mates out of it though | |
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| Whats your most embarassing moment ever!
Posted: 11/6/2005 2:18:58 PM | i've got quite a few but one of the worst is, my son was about 2 weeks old. obviously when you just had a baby ,things can be a bit weak down below. anyway, i was in tesco's doing my shopping like ya do. i started coughing, couldn't stop. tried crossing my legs, but oh no...i pissed myself didn't i! i had light demin jeans on, so you go see it as it ran down my legs. still makes me cringe lol
what did i learn from this lesson? pelvic floor exercises-never stop doing em... | |
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| Whats your most embarassing moment ever!
Posted: 11/6/2005 2:29:47 PM | | omg, mine was last week, was in a pub in bromley, and the ladylady is a bit of an old slapper, this young guy who worked there was chatting away to us, i said i feel sorry for you working for that women, he said its ok, im used to it...........shes my mother ooooops! not going back for a while! | |
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| Whats your most embarassing moment ever!
Posted: 8/4/2008 9:08:20 AM | I was at a dentist clinic and under anesthesia when I heard the doctor speaking on his phone and saying 'do not worry my current patient has a wide area where I can place my instruments'
His instruments were on my chests so I got fumed and complained about the discrimination!
It came up that he was talking about a garage of another patient of his !
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| Whats your most embarassing moment ever!
Posted: 8/4/2008 9:42:40 AM | Probably was today.
After howking out a humungous big boggie while at the loo at work and finding it rather solvent i did a John Mcrirrick and devoured some possitive germs.
Then while tending to the Managing directors wants and needs for an hour with the requisit cheesy grin i looked in the mirror and to my horror found that most of it was still firmly stuck to my two front teeth!
Anyone in search for a chef?
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| Whats your most embarassing moment ever!
Posted: 8/4/2008 10:50:31 AM | In my entire life only one stands out.
I was recently divorced and had got a new house and job, driving a taxi. I picked this girl up regularly and she was sweet, pleasant, polite, and not a little sexy. After some weeks the desk clerk told me that she had asked that I always be sent for her.
So after some more weeks I plucked up the courage to say something.
I had a bunch of flowers in the car, and as I dropped her off I gave her my speech, which included the line "It would be my honour if you would let me take you out for a meal one evening."
She was very sweet and obviously liked the flowers, but said she was already with someone, which I knew she wasn't.
It was only later when I thought back about it that I had the most cringeing feeling and I still hate what I did then lol I blame it on being brought up by an old-fashioned mother!
Gone are the days when women want real respect. It's just called cheesy now. | |
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| Whats your most embarassing moment ever!
Posted: 8/4/2008 2:51:18 PM | Im always embarassing myself, Im a bit clumsy, fall over nothing, knock glasses over, bump into people, but worse of all, my mouth is not connected to my brain. It has a mind of its own.
Yesterday at dinner with my parents and brother and new girlfriend, we were talking about making cottage cheese as my Grandma used to make it. So off I go, on explaining to my brothers girlfriend on how my Grandma used to seperate the whey from the gone off milk using a muslim.
No offense meant to any muslims.
GC, that is gross! | |
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| Whats your most embarassing moment ever!
Posted: 8/4/2008 4:39:18 PM | my daughters mum's Police Sargent dad finding me underneith my ex's bed at 3am.
Taking into mind he was a ex pro rugby player for Wales, a riot specialist & anti-terrorism officer. So a pretty well built fella. I was 16 at the time | |
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| Whats your most embarassing moment ever!
Posted: 8/5/2008 3:10:05 AM | Having my ex's dad walk in on us mid shag, and ex talking to him while still doing the deed,
went to a bike rally, me & the ex were feeling frisky, so we went back to the tent did the deed & the next day his dad told us that it sounded like phone sex,
me and ex going at it like jack rabbits, (luckily i was only seeing him on the weekends) his mums next door neighbour complained about the noise saying we were to loud at 2am in the morning
the worst one is having my mum phone up mid sex several times damn woman must have had a radar lol
bit of a theme going on here lol | |
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| Whats your most embarassing moment ever!
Posted: 8/5/2008 3:37:10 AM | While having sex with my now X girfriend on the sofa, her then Alsation puppy decided to put its wet nose up my ass!! to which i turned round and smacked it on the nose, so it bit me on the ass. To add injury to insult my X then punched me in the face for hitting her dog.
Dont know if thats embarassing or laughable but i do see the funny side now. | |
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