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| What makes a player ?
Posted: 9/13/2008 8:30:29 AM | Girl meets boy, over time girl falls in love with boy, boy deploys to war, boy calls girl from war and asks her to be his wife, girl overjoyed and changes her profile to "not looking, only here for forums." One day while girl online finds profile of another fishie that has wedding plans, to ALSO be boys wife when he returns from war. That's my definition of a player. One who has more than one woman and he isn't upfront about it, he leads them to believe that they are the only one.
Talking with more than one woman at a time doesn't make you a player. Intentionally misleading them does. You aren't a player OP, you sound like one of the good guys.
Friend~ | |
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| What makes a player ?
Posted: 9/13/2008 9:31:28 AM | | To me, a female player is one who says "friends first", and suggests that sex will be great "later on", and who insists on being able to date multiple men at the same time. She craves attention,and being wined and dined, but she has "intimacy issues". She wants the attention, but fears intimacy. | |
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| What makes a player ?
Posted: 9/13/2008 2:16:57 PM | """these be symptoms, sure. ARE they symptoms? not neccessarily. Get over your hurt, get counseling, learn to see things in a more open light. You have serious relationship issues which will exclude every single person you meet. Quit trying until you can see things in a more reasonable light. Sure, there are Players out there, always have been, but when you make rules that define them and apply it across the board, there's something VERY wrong about that... ""quote.
Okay, I'll bare my soul. These were not "rules" .Most were just observatoins in hindsight after a devastating relationship in which a married man, lead me to believe he was a free agent, and completely available.(1989) He asked me for an exclusive relationship and I was completely faithful and gave him my heart. After 5 months I heard through the grapevine if not by accident by devine intervention that his son, who I didn't even know about, was on the same team as my neighbors son. My neighbor recognized him from a game.
When I confronted him, there were many more versions of lies and dramatics and explanations that were not possible. He tried to rewrite history and this just hurt me more. So, I left him, and in the process played him a bit too.( my bad, i know, but i was young and it was sweet revenge)
I didn't need counceling, I got by with a lot of help from my friends. I am not jaded or suspicious of any one now, I just ask a lot more questions in the introduction stages.... before I invest myself.
I worked it out with my Maker, I think all is forgiven, so I am okay now. Thanks 66 for your concern. | |
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| What makes a player ?
Posted: 9/13/2008 2:47:49 PM | I am truly sorry about your experience, takeachillpill, honestly. And I sincerely didn't intend that towards you in particular. It was simply a statement in general towards anyone who would apply those items "across the board". I'm sure you will agree that there are those who would take that list and use it as a checklist to eliminate potentials. That shouldn't be done. I think that what you say about help from your friends was a kind of counseling, in it's own way and am really tickled to hear you've recovered. I'm always tickled to hear anything good has happened to anyone. Some people never do and are suspicious forever. I'd never say that asking more questions is anything but prudent.
I'm not sure if your being sarcastic about the concern part of not, but seriously, all in the world I ever meant by any of my posts is to give everyone a chance based on what they do, and realize that every situation is different. And honestly, it is concern, concern that people remain open, treat others fairly, have a positive attitude regardless of the trials they have been through. It's VERY difficult to not become bitter or close your heart off and deny yourself something really wonderful when you've been through something hurtful, but there is always hope if you allow it.
I've seen many of your posts over the last few days, and I hold you in high regard, not only because of your sensibility, but the prose you couch it in. You have a rare talent. | |
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| What makes a player ?
Posted: 9/30/2008 9:30:47 PM | In response to OP... I believe she called you a player because she was just testing you to see how you'd respond..Everyone obviously has different views of a player.
Some think that someone who is just too smooth or good with women is a player no matter how many partners they've had.
I think a player is someone who sleeps with multiple people at the same time with none of the girls/guys think they are the only one. | |
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| What makes a player ?
Posted: 10/1/2008 6:11:17 PM |
Some think that someone who is just too smooth or good with women is a player no matter how many partners they've had.
Which is precisely why the use of this label, when used as a pejorative, tells one more about the person calling someone a "player", than the person he/she is accusing.
I think a player is someone who sleeps with multiple people at the same time with none of the girls/guys think they are the only one.
When used as a "positive", it also reflects something about one's own view of dating.
When someone uses the term, it's meaningless, in other words. No one can be sure what it's supposed to mean. | |
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| What makes a player ?
Posted: 10/1/2008 9:18:55 PM | Don't worry about that sweetie. You don't qualify as a player unless you are intentionally leading any of the women you are seeing to believe that you are only seeing them. | |
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