|
|
|
|
|
Keljo
|
Joined: 12/28/2005
Msg: 401 | |
| Breastfeeding in public...approve or disapprove?
Posted: 2/4/2007 10:15:13 AM | I had several friends all give birth within a few days of each other (damned St Paddy's party!!) LOL
They ALL breast fed in public. I never once saw nipple or breast. I even had one use a breast pump while sitting in my passager seat going down the interstate and she was discreet about it.
There is no need to whip out a breast and start feeding without using a bit if decorum and a baby blanket!
If I am not permitted to whip my breast out in public, just because you are breast feeding does not make you above the law because you are feeding your child. Pick a booth in the back of the restaurant, use a baby blanket, a burping cloth, your jacket or whatever and give your baby some privacy.
Breast feeding is a wonderful, nurtiuring thing between a mother and her baby, not a mother, her baby and everyone within sight. | |
|
| Breastfeeding in public...approve or disapprove?
Posted: 2/4/2007 10:38:20 AM | I agree with the over whelming majority in this thread stating breast feeding is a great thing for the child but that's no reason to not be discrete. The argument of it *being natural* as an excuse to not be discrete doesn't work. We were all born butt naked but we cover ourselves when we go out for dinner.
parabuke- said- "As far as not being able to cover up, that is the most pathetic thing I have heard. "
-I completely agree... | |
|
| Breastfeeding in public...approve or disapprove?
Posted: 2/4/2007 11:04:38 AM | Ok, to start I was usually discreet in public, so don't jump down my throat for this.
However, what is so obnoxious about a human breast? I do not find it in the least bit offensive when I see a mother breastfeeding, contrary, I find it beautiful. Nature at it finest. Breast milk is the most nutritionally complete food you can feed your infant. It contains antibodies which prevent infection and disease in the child, and only human milk can provide everything a human child needs for optimum development.
When I had my son I fed both him and my nephew who was born only a month later. (my sister in law didn't produce the excess milk that I did) Both are now developmentally above average for their age.
I did however encounter a curious bias while I was breastfeeding. I live in Ontario, and often on the beaches there are scads of topless women, since it is legal. Yup, lots of nipples, and no one complaining. I wore a bathing suit on these same beaches, and when I pulled it aside to feed my child I was told to cover up, that that act of feeding my child was somehow offensive, to these same people appreciatively staring at the topless women. I really think people need to lighten up on their biases. Maybe one of you anti-breastfeeding people can explain that particular situation to me. (particularly susndeca, he seems to have a lot to say against breastfeeding in public)
Seems nipple is only good when it is for your own pleasure....nature is irrelevant
~Limestone
Edit: I am a very attractive and fit woman, so those comments certainly had nothing to do with my personal appearance | |
|
| Breastfeeding in public...approve or disapprove?
Posted: 2/4/2007 11:23:23 AM | Limestone_lady - said- "Maybe one of you anti-breastfeeding people can explain that particular situation to me. (particularly susndeca, he seems to have a lot to say against breastfeeding in public)"
--- Who is anti-breastfeeding? I've said over and over I think it's great for the child. I'm saying the same thing most women on this thread are saying yet you named me specifically. Is it because I'm male and I agree with the majority of women and you dislike it? Did I upset you causing you misread my posts stating I think breastfeeding is a good thing?
Your example of being on a topless beach and breastfeeding and people complain baffles me. It's a topless beach! Those people were wrong in my opinion. I have nothing against topless/nude beaches and breastfeeding there shouldn't be an issue who sees it. However, like the majority, I too don't want to see a woman’s breast when I'm at a restaurant while we're all suppose to be wearing clothes having a nice dinner. | |
|
| Breastfeeding in public...approve or disapprove?
Posted: 2/4/2007 11:49:52 AM | *wonders how many have ever gone for lunch at a peeler bar*
So now Im curious ... for the people that are going on about discretion ... how many times have you seen "non-discrete" ... and what exactly constitutes non discreet, as I think that is the major problem in this thread is definition ...
Speak up and define exactly what it is that you see that offends you and how often you see this. | |
|
| Breastfeeding in public...approve or disapprove?
Posted: 2/4/2007 12:24:36 PM | "*wonders how many have ever gone for lunch at a peeler bar* "
-I've never heard the term peeler bar... Is that another name for something?
If I understand the women posters correctly to define *discrete* would coincide with my definition to not show the breast any more than a normal females shirt would show and that would absolutely include the nipple when she is positioning the baby or changing sides.
Some places (like the topless beach one poster mentioned) you expect to see it. You don't expect to see it many other places which is why there are exposure laws. Each society has it's own ideals and although you may not like it that's what the majority want. I think it's ridiculous arab women cover their faces but hey, that's their culture.... | |
|
| Breastfeeding in public...approve or disapprove?
Posted: 2/4/2007 12:46:29 PM | Maybe Oklahoma doesnt have them ... I dont know ... but peeler bar ... aka Nudie bar, Topless bar, Ladies night , male or female strippers.
"not show the breast any more than a normal females shirt would show"
So are you referring to a blouse? ... If so then it would be fair to say that bikinis should be outlawed?
So are you agreeing that when a child is actually feeding that you dont see nipple, and thats ok, but its when they change breasts that a nipple may be exposed for a short few seconds?
How often do you see this?
As mentioned, I would like to hear more from the people against it and find out exactly how they define it | |
|
| |
| Breastfeeding in public...approve or disapprove?
Posted: 2/4/2007 12:51:22 PM | They only way you will see a nipple is if you are staring at the woman who is breastfeeding the baby.
Or waiting for her to change breast or done feeding the baby. Don't staire at her you won't see it. | |
|
| Breastfeeding in public...approve or disapprove?
Posted: 2/4/2007 12:53:15 PM | I think breastfeeding can easily be accomplished in a way that makes no one uncomfortable.
The post about the topless beach is interesting and Susndeca, while I recognize that you are not anti-breastfeeding and that you and I basically hold the same opinion, the whole thing is just sort of funny to me at this point.
With the styles that are currently popular, I regularly see women who have on shirts that are so low cut that I find myself sometimes almost mesmerized waiting to see what is going to pop out when. We are often host to lace lingerie that allows a bit too much visual access for public and we are not talking attire that is for clubbing.
So the difference between what we all see at Wal-Mart or the grocery store is not offensive in comparison to breastfeeding because anything that might pop out won't be used for anything and the bra is more attractive while for a breastfeeding mother the bra is functional and often not attractive and I may see a nipple for like two seconds, not even long enough to really see it, while someone is feeding their baby.
Seems a bit ironic | |
|
| Breastfeeding in public...approve or disapprove?
Posted: 2/4/2007 1:22:51 PM |
parabuke- said- "As far as not being able to cover up, that is the most pathetic thing I have heard. "
-I completely agree...
ok, smart guy. YOU try to latch a child with a poor sucking reflex or small mouth to a large breast with a flat or inverted nipple without being able to see what you're doing. it is NECESSARY for some of us to look at the breast in order to get a proper latch. it isn't even an uncommon thing. i've provided breastfeeding counselling for women with a variety of challenges, and just because someone you know is able to do it a certain way doesn't mean everyone can. and EVERY child has the right to be fed regardless of whether the child has a tongue tie, a cleft lip or palate, down syndrome, moebius syndrome, or any other condition, AND regardless of whether the mother has large breasts, small breasts, large areola, large nipples, flat nipples, inverted nipples, decreased sensitivity, overactive letdown, or any other challenge i've come across. breastfeeding is about feeding a child, not about your personal comfort level. your preferences are, quite bluntly, secondary to the needs of the child.
besides, i don't know a whole lot of people that want to have their dinner under a blanket, and my kid is no exception. if you like eating while feeling smothered, you're welcome to it. my kid rips off the blanket.
i find your ignorant attitude much more pathetic than not being able to get a good latch while covered up. | |
|
| Breastfeeding in public...approve or disapprove?
Posted: 2/4/2007 1:26:22 PM |
You don't expect to see it many other places which is why there are exposure laws. Each society has it's own ideals and although you may not like it that's what the majority want.
actually, exposure laws do not apply to breastfeeding in most jurisdictions, and specifically in canada (not sure what the law is where you come from) the right to breastfeed anytime is protected by the charter of rights and freedoms. although you may not like it, that's what society has deemed appropriate. | |
|
| Breastfeeding in public...approve or disapprove?
Posted: 2/4/2007 1:44:08 PM | I quoted parabuke who said- "As far as not being able to cover up, that is the most pathetic thing I have heard. "
I replied by saying- "I completely agree... "
whitestarmama - said- "ok, smart guy."
- You have a vendetta against me personally, not the women I'm quoting and agreeing with. Otherwise you would've taken those ladies quotes and commented.
whitestarmama - said- "i find your ignorant attitude much more pathetic than not being able to get a good latch while covered up."
- That means every woman I agree with is also ignorant in your opinion. Why not spread your cheer and call all of them ignorant too...
I'm glad you mentioned the troubles that can arise when nursing. My son had a bit of a problem. I know how long it can take to get the latch to happen which would literally blow away the idea of it only being visible for 2 seconds. Thank you for adding that. | |
|
| Breastfeeding in public...approve or disapprove?
Posted: 2/4/2007 1:50:57 PM | If you dont wanna see the tit, then look away. If one is sooooo offended, you have that right to not look.
The baby has to eat. Although there are places for it, such as restrooms and the workplace. You can be discreet. Im sure the mother doesnt want her tit flailing around for strangers to see...geesh. Its not like shes saying, "here! look at my enormous boobs!" | |
|
| Breastfeeding in public...approve or disapprove?
Posted: 2/4/2007 2:18:45 PM | I guess the way I see the other side of the coin (not that I agree is);
If the baby did a Number 2 in their diaper why do you go to the bathroom to change them? You have all your toiletries right there, why not just do it on the floor right there?
Its about respect I guess. People don't feel you respect them enough to feed at appropriate places/times. If I farted at the table (I don't  ) you would think I'm disrespectful but its a natural bodily function. People whether right or wrong feel it disrespects them. You can say "Who cares how you feel breastfeeding is beautiful." or you can say "Excuse me my baby needs attending."
Its about tact and respect, some people have it (both sides) some people don't. | |
|
| Breastfeeding in public...approve or disapprove?
Posted: 2/4/2007 3:17:04 PM | If I farted at the table (I don't ) you would think I'm disrespectful but its a natural bodily function.
You are actually comparing farting and feeding a child as equal?
You sit at a table to eat. What is baby doing? EATING.
You go to the bathroom to expel waste..including gaseous waste.. NOT EAT.
This totally seems to be a cultural thing...
Some countries find this natural. other fear it.
Some countries are all backwards and upside down in their "moral" belief and while allowing vicious violent brutality to be displayed on television a body part that every single human being happens to have is "forbidden".
Could you imagine what would happen to the movie industry (porn and mainstream) if they stopped treating a breast sexually?
I think the bottom line is.. some men don't like to think of the breast as a source of nourishment and want to believe they are only for them to play with.. why its okay for them to put it in their mouth for fun but not a baby for nourishment is beyond me. | |
|
| Breastfeeding in public...approve or disapprove?
Posted: 2/4/2007 3:24:47 PM | Here we go again...
Most malls now have giant rooms devoted to nursing mothers. Let em all hang out there, if you so choose. FWIW, I had my own latching on problems, and choose not to try to "learn" to breasfeed out in public. Once you get the hang of it, sure, and then that is where being "appropriate" comes into play.-something obviously some of us differ on definition of.
If you want to wave your boobs around for all to see, go for it. It's more about YOU at that point, then the baby.
Finally, a man that agrees with me on something!  | |
|
| Breastfeeding in public...approve or disapprove?
Posted: 2/4/2007 3:46:49 PM | You sit at a table to eat. What is baby doing? EATING.
You go to the bathroom to expel waste..including gaseous waste.. NOT EAT.
Exactly.
I know this thread was started quite a while back, and Im not sure if I had even responded. One does have to have some tact while performing when its time for her child to eat. As an example. I worked at a law firm at one time, and during the meeting, the boss' wife (who I believe was also partner) decided that she was going to whip it out right there and feed her baby. It was a meeting of professionals-about 12 of us. Now, I am all for feeding your child and when its time for feeding, its time. But, in that aspect, she should have left the room to breastfeed her child.
I was not able to breastfeed, as my baby was premature and her sucking skills had not developed and my milk wasnt comming in enuf. But, if I was out at a mall, I would just find a spot on a bench and do it. They have proper clothing where you can just unlatch part of your bra and shirt. So it isnt completely noticable. HOWEVER, if a man or woman stared hard enuf, they would see what was going on. So really, dont stare and look and you wont be offended. | |
|
| Breastfeeding in public...approve or disapprove?
Posted: 2/4/2007 3:48:20 PM | actually susndeca, i don't have a personal vendetta against anyone. you just happen to have a few comments up there that sum up the attitude that i have a problem with. i'm fully aware that one of the messages i responded to was a quote from another person - i'm not going to pretend you're alone in your beliefs, nor am i. that one just happened to be the one i quoted, rather than parabuke's. does it make that much of a difference? should i spend all my time worrying about whether i quote the same person twice, or should i just quote whatever fit and say what i want to say? i didn't think you'd take it so personally, what gives?
the vast majority of people i know who breast feed their children take into consideration the comfort level of other people. i tend to find corners away from the crowd to feed my child, for example. the problem isn't that we are intentionally flaunting anything, it's that sometimes, there are circumstances that don't allow someone to follow the restrictions that you personally (and those who agree with you) would want us to follow. it's just not about you (the general you) it's about the child. and sometimes the variables that are taken into account when deciding when/where/how to breastfeed aren't going to be known to the casual observer, and when you've got your priorities straight (ie, what's best for the child) there shouldn't be a need to justify it to people who can VERY EASILY make choices that would make the situation more comfortable to them. if you don't want to see it, look elsewhere. problem solved. many others DO want to see it, or are neutral on the subject. are we as mothers supposed to take a poll of who wants what when we enter a room, or are we just supposed to be mind readers? how about we focus on the child's needs and go from there, and the rest of the world can deal with it according to their own comfort level. it's not like you are forced to look at a woman's breasts just because she's in the same room as you. you've got other options available to you and as far as i can tell, are a man who possesses free will.
and in most cases, when you do get the hang of latching properly, the nipple itself (and the majority of the breast) IS only visible for a second or two. there are exceptions, but the length of time that the nipple is visible is minimized as much as possible. i don't know a whole lot of women who are comfortable having their nipples exposed for long periods, myself included! but that does not mean that we should have to cover up for the duration of the feed or leave the room. it just means that we get latched as quickly as possible, pull our shirts down to minimize exposure, and carry on with what we need to do. unless the woman has a very large breast indeed, i have never seen a breastfeeding woman expose significantly more breast than a woman who's wearing a v-neck or tank top in hot weather (except for at latch/delatch, which again, is minimized for the comfort of all involved). | |
|
| Breastfeeding in public...approve or disapprove?
Posted: 2/4/2007 3:54:50 PM |
If the baby did a Number 2 in their diaper why do you go to the bathroom to change them? You have all your toiletries right there, why not just do it on the floor right there?
because the bathroom is the appropriate place for handling feces and urine. the restaurant is not. the bathroom is NOT the appropriate place to eat. the restaurant is.
what bothers me about the people who ask us to cover up or leave is that they think we want to let our boobs hang out for all to see, that we're there to disrespect them. if a woman is able to cover up, and is more comfortable doing so, i respect and support her choice to do so. but she shouldn't HAVE to, especially since some aren't ABLE to. | |
|
| Breastfeeding in public...approve or disapprove?
Posted: 2/4/2007 3:55:06 PM | Im find it quite interesting that people will look lustfully at whatever sex they are attracted to... men will watch bikinis, strippers and women in various states of undress, just as many women do the same... this is natural, as per human evolution.
The thought of a nipple on a cute (blond, brunette, whatever)... excellent... want your wife or g/f to slip into that sexy little outfit you bought her...excellent... want to live life as a sexual human being on this planet... excellent
YET ... the thought of seeing the flash of a womans nipple while breastfeeding ... after creation of life.. the very natural thing we as humans do.. so somehow offending.
Im not here to change anyones opinion, nor to have mine changed, Im here to understand as to the reasons WHY people think it being so wrong...
Its great to have an answer, or opinion, but its nothing without understanding and explanation... simply words tossed together.
As with many others I agree that its what is best for the child... and infant is helpless and needs nourishment to grow ... why should that be denied for any length of time because others need their free eyeball space to look at Susy Supermodel instead..... just my thought | |
|
| Breastfeeding in public...approve or disapprove?
Posted: 2/4/2007 4:11:43 PM | I have a 2 month and i have a four year old. If we go out somewhere and he gets hungry i dont care where we are i will whip it out and feed him. Their are signs posted all over our city that say ANYWHERE, ANYTIME...
If people dont like it they can look somewhere else. Dirty looks dont bother me. My daughter will just say do you mind she is breastfeeding my brother, she tellls everyone anyway.
EDIT: it gets pretty hot for a baby under a blanket for 20 minutes. Wear a long enough shirt and it should go low enough to cover almost everything. | |
|
| Breastfeeding in public...approve or disapprove?
Posted: 2/4/2007 4:20:24 PM | whitestarmama- "should i spend all my time worrying about whether i quote the same person twice, or should i just quote whatever fit and say what i want to say? i didn't think you'd take it so personally, what gives? "
- I wanted you to spread your cheer and call 17 pages of women ignorant for having an opinion different than your own. 
whitestarmama- "if you don't want to see it, look elsewhere. problem solved. many others DO want to see it, or are neutral on the subject."
- Some do want to see it? I must've missed the post where someone said they wanted to sit and watch someone else breastfeed.
No grown woman should have the right to allow my son (almost 13 years old) to view her nipple even if it's for breastfeeding her child. My child's rights come into play! To intentionally avoid covering with a blanket would be negligent. As adults and parents it's our duty and right to raise and protect our children. It's not someone else’s place to decide what is acceptable viewing material for another person’s child.
FYI- I haven't seen anyone post they thought breastfeeding was wrong. This is about the modesty factor and other peoples rights rather than forcing your own visual display on them. | |
|
| |
| |
|
| Page 17 of 22
|
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22 |
|
Home
login 
