| STOOD UP by a P.O.F. MEMBER
Posted: 10/11/2008 12:39:40 PM | "I just don't get it! You have great conversations, you seem to have a lot in common, you plan to meet and what happens? Some jerk stands you up, now phone call, no email, nothing. Why are people such cowards? How hard is it to pick up the phone and say I am not interested or I am not ready to meet you yet! Aren't we adults. Why can't people have enough consideration for peoples feelings to at least be honest. Help me understand, PLEASE!!!!!!!!!"
well just stood up this afternoon; & have been stood up by 2 others on this site. 
It really is annoying when you plan /check with each other & the only expectation you have is that they show up! Do you want to meet or what?? All 3 seemed to want to meet but for some reason cant seem to get past the Email or IM stage. It is just SO RUDE.
I have met some very nice people here but also some duds. Guess you have to kiss some frogs...LOL | |
|
| STOOD UP by a P.O.F. MEMBER
Posted: 10/11/2008 1:04:48 PM | | Lol. people stood me up because of my picture. I'm not that unattractive, but people block me because I'm too smart! | |
|
| STOOD UP by a P.O.F. MEMBER
Posted: 10/11/2008 4:02:43 PM | People who live their lives behind the screen....no social skills, no caring...just a quickie....
Consider yourself lucky...I got involved with one of those losers...he dumped me with a text message and then sent me emails every damn holiday....what the HELL
He felt I said something to offend him.
For closure, I went back to him the following 4th of July..(YES A HOLIDAY( and my first thought was "what the hell did I ever see in you?"
But. nonetheless, the "chemistry" was there....so I stayed the night....and never saw him again.
When I asked him just what I said that caused a 30 lb weight loss and 6 mos of run and country music (YES I WAS WOUNDED),. his reply was "OH helll....I don't remember",,,
Hey,..whatever, dude | |
|
| STOOD UP by a P.O.F. MEMBER
Posted: 10/11/2008 6:42:10 PM | At least that is far better to get positive responses.
In marketing (such as yourself,) it is better to get responses and then filter the data (aka reject them.) Getting zero responses would represent that you're not there!
What is most hurtful at least for me in the short time I've been in POF is that females think I'm just in there for the sex (while I understand that from the female point of view, I'm probably too honest and truthful.) Also because I'm not white I tend to be rejected already. People need to take a step back and look at the personality rather than just how they look, because underneath it may be far better than it is. | |
|
| STOOD UP by a P.O.F. MEMBER
Posted: 10/11/2008 8:44:20 PM | I'd consider being 'stood up' the very first time agreed to meet the LEAST of all 'costly' lessons I've learned. I wouldn't give it another thought.....If you've stood me up our very first agreed date to meet...You've done me a huge favor......saved me MY valuable time and effort in 'getting to know you'........I now know WHO YOU are.....and never even had to share a smile or shake your hand! I win!! YOU LOSE!  | |
|
| STOOD UP by a P.O.F. MEMBER
Posted: 10/11/2008 9:05:12 PM | Harsh, but true; a lot of people watch from afar what their potential POF date looks like. If they don't approve or aren't attracted, they hit the road. Cowardice? Yes.
Then again, it might not always be that they do it intentionally. For example, if it's just a casual "oh, I'm going for my coffee break at that Starbuck's tomorrow, want to meet for a quick coffee?" and if something comes up, maybe they don't think twice about rescheduling. Believe it or not, sh*t happens. And if you get stood up, sh*t happens.
I only stood up a guy once. He had the nerve to meet me in the coffee shop and said to me, something along the lines of that he was watching me from afar for a bit to see if I was worth meeting and that he's glad he didn't stand me up. I poked him for more info. and it turns out, he stood up a lot of people with this fool-proof way of providing a fake description of his car and what he would be wearing. Well, on our second date, guess who was standing outside the movie theatre alone? Not you! And not me. I'm talking about him.  | |
|
TrinB
|
Joined: 4/27/2008
Msg: 182 | |
| STOOD UP by a P.O.F. MEMBER
Posted: 10/11/2008 9:40:25 PM | After reading that yall were supposed to meet up at your house I was like, gosh...who does that and then I thought, was everyone else skimming over that part? Thanks proliberate for sayin something, cause whoa.
Perhaps its a good thing he didn't show up...
..... i didn't skip over that part "Stary".....it jumped out at me like fireworks....!!!!!
no no no meeting you at your home unless you have two inbred PITBULLS and electric fencing trimmed in razor wire....of course they could shoot the pitbulls and scale the razor wire in a suit of armour....
ESPECIALLY: you single ladies with small children.....OMG....you could be endangering their safety...
 | |
|
| happened to me too
Posted: 10/12/2008 11:28:55 AM | | I just had to reply to your message. same thing happened to me. I emailed this guy, he emailed back, exchanged pics, texted like crazy, talked on phone so much, like for awhile, then the day we were supposed to meet, he like kept on saying im going here, going there, calling me, then made exuse up, and told me to make other plans for the nite, i was like WTF????? I texted him and emailed him nicely, but to the point, like what the hell buddy????? We all are adults here, but some are obviously children still. I mean peoples time is precious, and we do have feelings, damn. Just b honest, I am not sure if men can b honest, im losing my faith here. I mean i dont wanna meet a man in a bar, so i thought this would b a good idea, but im beginning to wonder. there are alot of nice woman out there and these men gotta stop playing freakin games. but move forward, not backward, and your worth somebodys time sister, so keep on looking, his major loss for both of us. peace | |
|
| STOOD UP by a P.O.F. MEMBER
Posted: 10/12/2008 12:11:28 PM | It is all part of the game that you just have to learn to live with and not take personally. I don't know which is harder having them not call or having them consistenly call and cancel on you. Both forms will envoke the response of disappointment. There are guys on POF who will consistently call you right before the date to say "something came up and I can't meet you" (this is a form of standing someone up too especially if they do it more then once). I ususally give a guy one opportunity to cancel because life happens but if it happens twice...well, they generally don't get three strikes.....
( "Why are people such cowards? How hard is it to pick up the phone and say I am not interested or I am not ready to meet you yet!")
Because there are people in this world who don't like conflict and who don't respect the feelings of others. This is just something you have to learn to negotiate around in the world of on/off line dating in this day and age, but be careful you don't become to jaded regarding romance. It just means they were not the right one for you! There are some good people out there! You just have to swim through the sharks to find your good ! | |
|
| STOOD UP by a P.O.F. MEMBER
Posted: 10/12/2008 12:52:41 PM | hahah welcome to the world of online dating!
Men and women do this. I think its because the initial attraction was not strong enough to actually follow through to the actual meet, thats just my feeling on it. Its very common, and there could be a number of other reasons. The best approach in my opinion is to not plan on something too extravagant the first meet, in case your date decides to no-show.  | |
|
| STOOD UP by a P.O.F. MEMBER
Posted: 10/12/2008 2:24:52 PM | | Unfortunetely, because of the PC, IPOD, phones that can do anything from talk to build a house, we have 1. lost the art of face to face conversation, and 2. have become a self-absorbed society that has very little social graces. | |
|
| STOOD UP by a P.O.F. MEMBER
Posted: 10/12/2008 2:59:52 PM | | Because they don't have alot of consideration for your time. If you get stood up just move on... | |
|
| STOOD UP by a P.O.F. MEMBER
Posted: 10/12/2008 5:39:33 PM | A person that stands you up has no consideration for you, period! And then there are those that seem sincere, and yoususpect that they never have intentions of meeting you, they just want the thrill of chatting! I recently had the same experience and I think this guy does it quite often. He emails you, chats for hours (although he avoids the phone) and tells you all about his maroon 'Vette, the trucking co. he sold and how he has all these toys, freedom, etc.... And all that is missing is a good woman he wants to love and spoil, etc....
Then he makes a date. But the day of the date, delays keep happening. First it is: "just got back from the bank, need a shower, waiting on an important call. Give me a while, and I'll let you know when to leave". So I wait a while for him to contact about when to leave for your date. Then it is: "I lost my cell phone and couldn't call you....was out looking for it". (But he had a neighbor over there and could use THAT cell phone to try to track down his?) How strange... no pay phones in Denton that work??? Then I hear "I have to go get a new phone, will only take me an hour". THEN I'll call you and we can get together." By that time, I decided to take control of my own evening. I sent him a message that said: "I have waited the hour you asked for, and now I'm out the door on my own....looking good and I am sure there is something I can do for fun tonight!"   When I got home, he was online and waited for me to log into Yahoo and POF, then blocked me, LMAO! He also changed his profile, and the first part is complaining about women that are players??? THE VERY NEXT DAY, he contacts a friend of mine, and sent her the EXACT same introductory email, and they chatted back and forth ,too. He was COPY/PASTING all his statements and information, and she and I are comparing notes the whole time! This is one date I am glad I missed out on! And while he is still sitting home, picking out the next female he's going to scam, my friend and I are having a good laugh, and I had a great weekend regardless. That fool will never know all about the TWO great women he didn't have the decency to meet!  | |
|
| STOOD UP by a P.O.F. MEMBER
Posted: 12/7/2008 2:30:05 PM | | Been there. If the man does not have the common courtesy to show up or cancel your date then count your blessings he is a waste of time. | |
|
| STOOD UP by a P.O.F. MEMBER
Posted: 12/7/2008 2:39:45 PM | | Well I tell ya what, if I had to live off the fish I catch here I'd have starved to death | |
|
| STOOD UP by a P.O.F. MEMBER
Posted: 12/7/2008 3:16:44 PM |
I know for sure the guy didn't show because we were supposed to meet at my house.
Sweety, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER give a guy your address that you don't even know! That is just plain asking for trouble. There's another thread in this forum about a woman who did just that, and the guy turned out to be a real creep.
Personally, I don't let a guy know where I live until I have built up a certain level of trust in him. Three years ago, I let a guy come over for a first date to pick me up (we didn't meet online, it was in person), and I was raped. It was a very harsh lesson to learn.
Don't forget that while you're here to meet someone, you have to do it safely! | |
|
| STOOD UP by a P.O.F. MEMBER
Posted: 12/7/2008 3:25:15 PM | cut the loss like you would when you throw out rotten food.... In the garbage where it belongs.
play her ass off like I would on a xbox 360 playing nba 2007, slam dunk on that Bitch! | |
|
| STOOD UP by a P.O.F. MEMBER
Posted: 12/7/2008 4:24:51 PM |
Personally, I don't let a guy know where I live until I have built up a certain level of trust in him.
Good thinking, i do this as well! I dated someone from here for about 3/4 months, he didn't seem trust worthy, but gave him the benefit of the doubt, he never knew where i lived, and i met his children!! What a plonker..!
I've never been stood up, but saying this there are a few chumps from here that i wish i had stood up. | |
|
| STOOD UP by a P.O.F. MEMBER
Posted: 12/18/2008 11:19:56 PM | I was stood up once. No big deal. Things like this occur. It is a part of life. I was supposed to met this person at a local bar. I ended up having a blast without him. It was not meant to be. I accidently stood up one person. I totally forgot because I have not heard from the guy in a couple of days, and made other plans. I did not plan on "standing him up" it just happened.
There are many reasons. Maybe the person chickened out. Maybe the person found someone more to his liking. Maybe the person decided he just did not want to go on the date. Oh, well. There are plenty of other fish in the sea=) | |
|
| STOOD UP by a P.O.F. MEMBER
Posted: 12/19/2008 1:36:53 PM | ^^^^^^^WTF^^^^^^^^^^^
I was stood up once.
Recently???
He was either gay, or was in the prison library on a computer
Never stood up... Had one walk in the resturant look over from across the room, turn and walk out...
| |
|
| STOOD UP by a P.O.F. MEMBER
Posted: 12/19/2008 4:15:49 PM |
rule #1 = dont ever meet somewhere you wouldn't otherwise be.
This is a very good advise that I will remember. One mistake I made was to go to a Ethiopian restarant which is not a good place if you are by yourself. I got stood up but not from this sight. Its a better idea I think to of met in a restarant that isn't romantic if it is a first date. Plus I have learned that it can cost alot if you always go to nicer restarants on a first date. It can cost me sometimes almost one hundred dollars and I will maybe never even here from the lady again. | |
|
| STOOD UP by a P.O.F. MEMBER
Posted: 12/19/2008 6:13:26 PM | yes, being stood up seems to be more the norm when you meet people online...I have been trying to get my jacket back from a guy who stood me up, no emails,crap!! All I want is the damn jacket, certainly NOT a relationship anymore!! I have been trying to think of something creative but coming up short...ideas??
Now that would piss me off royally.. to not get my jacket back.. I'd take him to small claims court.. Just send a registered letter to his ass.. tell him he has 2 days from receipt of that letter to contact you to return your jacket.. if he doesn't he will face you in small claims court.
Do you have any idea of the value of the jacket?
I think if they stand you up there is a good reason for you to thank your lucky stars. | |
|
| STOOD UP by a P.O.F. MEMBER
Posted: 12/19/2008 6:23:23 PM | The cold reality is this is one of many pitfalls of online dating... This is sadly common behaviour because of the anonymity and because its easy to deceive and dispose...
Take heart ....the jakal did you a favor - at least you know found out this person is not worth your time anyways
good luck | |
|
| STOOD UP by a P.O.F. MEMBER
Posted: 12/19/2008 7:34:56 PM | | sorry bout your mishap. but they were not worth it if that is the way this person is. it's just a stepping stone to a good person. chin up. | |
|
| STOOD UP by a P.O.F. MEMBER
Posted: 12/20/2008 9:16:24 AM | | This happens to us guys as well. A few weeks ago I agreed to go on a date with a girl and a few of her friends at a bar in Austin (I am about 1 1/2 hours away in San Antonio). I got all the way up there and foound one of her "friends" was her ex boyfriend who was hangin all over her. After 15 minutes she decided the situation was too awkward and dramatic (no kidding) and asked if I could leave and call her the next day. I told her I drove all te way from SA and I would have never disrespected her like that. I left of course, the hell with her. The next day she called me apologizing profusely, begging me to let her make it up to her. I decided to give her a second chance (stupid I know) and we agreed she would drive down the following weekend, even asked me if it was ok to come down early so we could spend time together before the date. I reconfirmed the day prior (she couldn't wait to see me) but of course the day of our date she nevere answered her phone or retexts. Go figure. New rule: don't drive long distance to meet some girl no matter how much you talk prior. | |
|
Home
login 
