| How about if you got prego and went against his wishes to terminate/put up for adoption?
Posted: 3/13/2006 3:48:53 PM | i thought my ex-boyfriend and i would last forever, we had a long distance relationship, we were going to beat the odds, right... i got pregnant, not long after the news he wanted me to abort, or give our child up for adoption, having no support from my family, i though it was the right thing to do, i was about to an abortion, which i have always been against, i prayed one last prayer, God intervened, as i prayed for him to and i was sent straight to ER, was blessed with HBP, now i have a beautiful 3 yr. old daughter. My suggestion to all unwed pregnant mothers-to-be, pray about it, God will support when no others do. And if the birth father is never around, probably better that way in the long run. And yes i get child support, when you sign up for assistance, guaranteed the Attorney General will go after the dad if he is on birth certificate, or if you dislcose the dads name. I personally could have cared less about getting it, i am responsible for her regardless.
God Bless.... | |
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| How about if you got prego and went against his wishes to terminate/put up for adoption?
Posted: 3/13/2006 7:28:25 PM | ya know i dont even know where to begin...................wholey $hit man ive seen some wacky posts  on this particular posting, ok look, maybe im a bit older, a bit wiser (i hope)i did not check your profile so i do not know how old you are or what country you are in my 1st quest. did HE wear a condom? im assuming NO or it broke
ok the fact remains you are goin to have this baby RIGHT? WELL, YOU CHOSE HIM!! YOU CHOSE A GUY WHOSE NOT RESPONSIBLE TO HAVE SEX WITH!!!! it takes 2 people,YOU OPENED YOUR LEGS FOR HIM!! geeze so what ??? NOW HE SHOULD PAY FOR BEING A HUMAN??FOR BEING A GUY?? why should HE have to pay if YOU ARE making the choice to have this child? do you think that this will MAKE him be STAY with you? d if he is irresponsible now what makes you think that by some magical wave of the wand he will be responsible and help to care for your child?
PLEASE go back and look at the posts here on this web site with all the single parents or soon to be parents asking for advice on what they should do..........
look at all the problems we have that arise when having a child out of wedlock ahh im rambling, do you what you think is right DO THE RIGHT THING WHAT EVER IT IS | |
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medGF
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Joined: 3/11/2006
Msg: 128 | |
| How about if you got prego and went against his wishes to terminate/put up for adoption?
Posted: 3/14/2006 12:12:57 PM | | I guess it depends on the situation. In mine, I did not get pregnant on purpose. I moved away to start a new life. My son's father said he didn't want any part from the start. So i went through with the pregnacy full well knowing I could be doing it on my own. Then later on down the road he expresses that he would be involved as long as he knew the child was his forsure. He would come on to me, want to have more sex with me..etc. I really think that when a girl is having her first baby she doesn't really know the emotions that come after. For a women that traps a man on purpose??..ouch. I feel bad for the guy. He should have used protection though. Again no contraceptives are flawless unless you double up. Abortion is a very touchy topic. If the woman is against abortion and has the baby against his will, what is done can't be reversed. Regarless of how it happened...Ahhhh then the questions start comming from the child. Keeping in mind the child is ALL that matters. Being human and never having met this new blessing to the earth and not knowing their heart yet, things can get distorted emotionally. For good women though, make no mistake, they are adocating for the child because the child can't. Don't want kids..don't have sex before marriage. The child has a right to know for certain and for all intensive purposes who the father is. With no question. So, it also depends on the guy. Some guys say no and mean it..like in my case there are guys who say different later. | |
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| How about if you got prego and went against his wishes to terminate/put up for adoption?
Posted: 3/14/2006 8:12:07 PM | | Fine Finn, I am in the exact postion you state. I got pregnant he hounded me for an abortion and for an adoption I said no and he refused to be in a relationship with me because of it. He is decent enough to want to take full responsibility for his child, but even still I will persue child support and the sole reason being that he did not use protection told me he loved me for years and knows morally i cant do it. In my eyes he is just as responsible as I am and its my choice and my body. I dont believe a child is something that is a mistake and should be terminated cause its not convenient for the father. He is def responsible for his actions. | |
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| How about if you got prego and went against his wishes to terminate/put up for adoption?
Posted: 3/14/2006 8:13:22 PM | | U should have no right to go for support. If i was that guy i would sign off my rights ASAP! You kept it even though he didn't want it then you should have to deal with it yourself. He didn't want it so it becomes yours. Deal with the responsibility that you KNEW you were going to be doing on your OWN and leave the poor guy alone. | |
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| How about if you got prego and went against his wishes to terminate/put up for adoption?
Posted: 3/15/2006 1:15:33 PM | love the question and the thing is and always will be that it is a womans decision on if she keeps the baby or not.
if she wants to keep the child the man is responsible if he wants to or not. he created the child and has to support the child.
but look at it this way if she wanted an abortion and he wanted to have the child he couldnt make her have the child then get her to pay child support. doesnt seem fair but its her body right? | |
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| How about if you got prego and went against his wishes to terminate/put up for adoption?
Posted: 3/20/2006 10:24:13 AM | When i got pregnant with my daughter,her father wanted me to get an abortion. i flat out refused. i don't believe in it. i told him the ONLY reason i told him that i was pregant was that he had a right to know. i didn't and haven't looked for anything from him. and when she was born i called him to let him know that he had a daughter. what he did with that info was up to him. i just thought he had a right to know that he had a child in the world. my daughter is now 6 and healthy and happy. but she does know who her father is. i have never lied to her and i won't. it's not her fault her father wasn't ready or responsible wenough to be in her life.
and i don't mean in a monetary way. in all the other ways that matter more. nothing can take the place of her father,but on the other hand,she doesn't know what it's like to have two parents. and i consider it his loss for never getting to know her.
Ecb | |
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| How about if you got prego and went against his wishes to terminate/put up for adoption?
Posted: 3/20/2006 8:50:40 PM |
Depends on if you got pregnant on purpose. If not then yes, you are the one in control of your body...if you did get that way on purpose then no, it would be dishonorable (among other things) for you to do that.
please tell me u were kidding ....not just one parties responsibility here, takes two to tango ..
I normally keep my yap closed around here but thats just sillyness. | |
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| How about if you got prego and went against his wishes to terminate/put up for adoption?
Posted: 5/17/2009 4:39:22 PM | I realize this is an older thread but several posts have left me with a question.
More than one poster has stated that men can give up their parental rights and that will dissolve any obligation on their part for child support.
Is this true where you are from? It is NOT true in the U.S. If a woman needs welfare then the father WILL be required tp pay child support. Also, even without welfare involved, any woman can go after the father for support. Men cannot just waive their parental rights against the woman's wishes. | |
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| How about if you got prego and went against his wishes to terminate/put up for adoption?
Posted: 5/17/2009 4:58:06 PM | futureshock, with all due respect, child support is for the child, not the mother. While I realize that in some situations, parents with primary custody have a better lifestyle overall with child support than they would have without, child support is for the CHILD and a mother really doesn't have a right to waive that support on behalf of the child unless she is certain the child will not be living in poverty or without their basic needs met. Even then, the custodial parent can seek the support the CHILD is entitled to. If you are gonna play, be prepared to pay, otherwise keep it in your pants until after you are married.
I realize you came to these forums for a purpose....to try and sway EVERYONE to your way of thinking....but perhaps if you really wish to push your agenda of having women abort an unplanned pregnancy (from your other thread indicating pregnancy doesn't have to lead to birth or parenting), perhaps you should be posting in the sex and dating section instead of insulting those of us who have children, are not married to the father and are doing the best we can by our children. Get those who have not yet become pregnant outside of marriage to think about the consequences...maybe you could prevent some of the ba$tards from being conceived in the first place.
You are truly putting the cart after the horse posting these types of topics and resurrecting similar ones in here, don't ya think?
To answer your question, where I live, waiving parental rights does not mean you can get out of child support. | |
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| How about if you got prego and went against his wishes to terminate/put up for adoption?
Posted: 5/23/2009 10:47:11 PM | | A few years ago, I was seeing this guy, and things were going from bad to worse. I was put on antianxiety meds. I realized I was pregnant. I called my family doctor, who advised me to see a specialist. The medicine I was taking was teratogenic to a fetus. I go, he checks me out and does an ultrasound. told me the fetus was the size of a grain of rice, when it should be the size of a kidney bean. He said there was no way it could be born "all there" or healthy, most likely brained damaged and with body parts missing, that I would most likely miscarry it. He reccommended a D&C, which was actually an abortion to remove it. I tried explaining this to the guy. He wouldnt listen, accused me of murdering out baby. He had an older son, and he had beat the mother so bad, he was never granted visitation with the boy. I kept seeing him, doing that, and realized I didnt want to be tied to him for the next 18 years or so. I realized then we, as a couple, would never have a future together. I felt too old to have a baby, let alone one with special needs. I couldnt see putting it in day care all day, while I worked and me coming home exhausted, and having to still care for it, had it even survived. It was my decision. It was the right decision for me. | |
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| How about if you got prego and went against his wishes to terminate/put up for adoption?
Posted: 5/24/2009 8:08:48 AM | My daughter is 20.
Since we are talking about money that's all I'll address here but there is much more than money to pay when you have a child of course.
If I add up the cost of an extra bedroom, clothes, school fees, daycare, food etc over 18 years that's about a quarter of a million dollars. That's on the low end. That's not counting college, holidays, luxuries, toys etc
Is any man seriously saying the mother should be responsible for all of that cost herself?
Yes, they are. On the following premise...
If a guy assumes the woman should get an abortion OR carry that cost on her own is he then taking total CONTROL of the situation? He is saying those are her choices and that is right in his mind.
That's what I'm hearing some men say. That he should have a right to demand her only choice is abortion OR total cost of raising the child.
How is that right?
Abortion is not a choice for a lot of women and I'll bet a lot of women tell men that before they sleep with them. I know I did.
As far as contraception failing - that is very rare if used properly. Guys know condoms break but since the guy is wearing it he should also know that continuing to pound away when the woman is not well lubricated is almost guaranteed to break it so don't act like you didn't know. The guy should stop if he really doesn't want the condom to break.
I won't even talk about the emotional damage deadbeat fathers do to their children.
I guess people are convinced they have a right to sex, regardless of the known consequences huh and that it's recreational, not procreational and therefore should not carry a cost. Nice. Not the kind of guy I want to sleep with. | |
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| How about if you got prego and went against his wishes to terminate/put up for adoption?
Posted: 5/24/2009 8:13:42 AM | NOW HE SHOULD PAY FOR BEING A HUMAN??FOR BEING A GUY??
I'm not sure what you mean when you say "for being a guy".
Yes. Abortion is not always an option. Sometimes a woman thinks she could do it if she had to but when it comes down to it she feels too guilty and can't go through with it. Them emotional impact of being pregnant is huge and you just don't know how compelling the urge is to bear the child until you are pregnant. Mother nature doesn't make it easy to have an abortion let alone your spiritual conscience. I'm not saying I'm anti abortion or pro. I'm just saying it's easy to say one thing before you get pregnant and another after. It's even easier to not feel life growing inside you and say kill it. Easy to say, another thing to do.
Guys should ask the woman if this is the case before they sleep with her. Ok, maybe she will lie or change her mind but that's why condoms are so great - they give a guy total control. If he doesn't use them properly that's his problem and he should carry the cost of the risk. | |
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