| How about if you got prego and went against his wishes to terminate/put up for adoption?
Posted: 5/24/2009 8:16:53 AM | | Plenty of woman avoid the fight and dont even tell the guy she is pregnant. She just goes and gets the abortion. Some woman dont even know WHO the father is and that is why they abort. And if she does tell him and he objects to the abortion, you can thank the good old law that says she can legally go abort the kid, without your consent. I've known plenty of woman that have told me about their abortions, but would NEVER tell a guy she's had one. It's sick. | |
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| How about if you got prego and went against his wishes to terminate/put up for adoption?
Posted: 5/24/2009 8:33:32 AM | So are you saying that women these days do not persue sex as fun? It is just for procreation and that's it? That is a rediculous statement and you know it. If that is your stance than I guess we should just repeal roe vs. wade because the percentage of women who have abortions based on health resons or rape incest accounts for less than 1.5 percent of the total abortions that take place.
72 percent are because of financial reasons and that is mainly because lower income women cannot afford birth control and still decide to have relations with a man.
Recently President Obama took a lot of flack for his position on abortion when making a speech at Notre Dame university. A catholic university.
The biggest problem we have is misinformation because of preconcieved notions on what you think you know and scientific proof is how we end up going in circles about this issue.
Believe you me, I have done my reading on this and pretty much every argument against abortion is proven false by scientific evidence.
Another poster in another thread put it best. You are emotionally attached to the idea of a child, not the actual child.
Why do you imagine women who have already went through menopause are so dammed happy? In your way of thinking they should be depressed because the sex they now have can't possibly result in a chld.
If it wasn't, don't you think there would be no need for this site?
I don't recall only men who if asked how important sex was to a relationship are the only ones who rate it high. Women want sex just as much as men do.
Your logic only says that women want children more than men do and there in lies the problem. If you are not strong enough to face that reality then there are quite a few women on this site that should not be seeking any kind of relationship of any kind with a man.
Perhaps we should make that one of the questions on every profile.
Do you do drugs- yes or no
Do you drink - yes or no
Do you believe in abortion- yes or no
That way at least a man would have a shot at avoiding those who would feel no remorse in keeping a child against a man's wishes. I wonder how many dates or letters the yes ladies would recieve? | |
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| How about if you got prego and went against his wishes to terminate/put up for adoption?
Posted: 5/24/2009 5:47:43 PM | I strongly feel that birth control is an equal responsibility. If a man does not wish to father a child, he does have options today...
A) Condom
B) Abstintence
C) Vasectomy
Women have many birth control alternatives as well.
I have no sympathy for any man who didn't wear at minimum wear a condom and a pregnancy was the result. I was raised to believe that if you don't want something to happen, it is up to you to protect yourself to the best of your personal ability.
That being said, I would only seek financial support if ALL three of the following were true.
a. He WANTS to be a part of the child's life
and (NOT OR)
b. It is financially necessary in order to provide for the CHILD.
and (NOT OR)
c. The amount of child support paid would not prevent him from providing for himself and our child while the child is in his custody (reasonable amount).
The reason why is simple....if the funds were necessary AND he could reasonably be able to afford them and didn't, I would naturally feel resentful and that is not a good thing to feel when one is attempting to co-parent with someone. | |
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| How about if you got prego and went against his wishes to terminate/put up for adoption?
Posted: 5/24/2009 6:40:24 PM |
That being said, I would only seek financial support if ALL three of the following were true.
a. He WANTS to be a part of the child's life
and (NOT OR)
b. It is financially necessary in order to provide for the CHILD.
and (NOT OR)
c. The amount of child support paid would not prevent him from providing for himself and our child while the child is in his custody (reasonable amount).
The reason why is simple....if the funds were necessary AND he could reasonably be able to afford them and didn't, I would naturally feel resentful and that is not a good thing to feel when one is attempting to co-parent with someone.
That sounds very fair. | |
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| How about if you got prego and went against his wishes to terminate/put up for adoption?
Posted: 5/25/2009 8:50:24 AM | Nope...that is NOT how I feel in general but I also know that trying to force a man to be responsible can be at times more detremental to the child than simply allowing them off the hook. My answer is my opinion for my life and mine alone. Others are free to adopt or reject it for their own lives. I'm for the child all the way and what is in their best interests.
In a perfect world, both parents would assume the responsibility without the need for courts and laws to enforce it but we do not live in a perfect world in case you hadn't noticed.
While women may indeed have come a long way baby, we are not able to force anyone to be a father to a child they do not want, nor do I personally want to have such a right if one could actually be enforced. Sure I could drag him into court and spend thousands of dollars fighting for the rights of my child to be cared for by both parents but to what end really? I would rather spend my money and my emotional energy on the child I helped to create and am now solely responsible for raising but again, that is just me.
At the end of the day, we both have to live with the consequences of our choices. Is that not the way it should be? | |
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| How about if you got prego and went against his wishes to terminate/put up for adoption?
Posted: 5/25/2009 1:00:03 PM | So what you are saying is if they talked about not being parents and she reneges on the deal he is still accountable. Or women will have sex just to please their man?
Like I said in another thread women have always been the gatekeepers and some men just are lucky enough to figure out how to open the lock. Barry white songs are a good lock lubricant.
Why do we have expressions like NO means NO!!????
Or why isn't the classic joke about the two little kids where the boy pulls down his pants and says Ha!! you don't have one of these and her reply is to pull her skirt up and say it doesn't matter with this I can get as many of those as I want. Not as cute or funny to me anymore. | |
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| How about if you got prego and went against his wishes to terminate/put up for adoption?
Posted: 5/25/2009 1:09:03 PM | WTF!!!, what I am saying is that in a lot of cases, the people that create the baby together actually discuss options and come to a mutual decision on what to do.
If they talk about being NOT being parents and she ends up pregnant, that is a bit different. Let's face it, not all birth control is 100% effective, so if the couple is that certain that they don't want a kid, one of them should get fixed then. | |
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| How about if you got prego and went against his wishes to terminate/put up for adoption?
Posted: 5/25/2009 7:15:08 PM | If they talk about being NOT being parents and she ends up pregnant, that is a bit different. Let's face it, not all birth control is 100% effective, so if the couple is that certain that they don't want a kid, one of them should get fixed then.
Just because a man or woman doesn't want a child doesn't mean they don't ever want a child. If a couple is not married or hasn't made some sort of commitment to each other that usually means they aren't sure that person is the one they want to be with forever. If they aren't sure they want to be together forever, WHY WOULD THEY HAVE A CHILD TOGETHER????
That is one reason why they don't get sterilized. | |
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2008CJ
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Joined: 4/12/2009
Msg: 168 | |
| How about if you got prego and went against his wishes to terminate/put up for adoption?
Posted: 5/25/2009 8:43:13 PM | Yes, I would pursue child support. I didn't get pregnant by myself.
Is it fair that biology gives women one more choice than men? Possibly, possibly not. If men were the ones who carried the baby, they would be the ones making the choice. Either way, arguing with biology is pointless. Once the baby is born, like it or not, the father has responsibilities. Hopefully, he will choose to be an active part of the child's life, but if he doesn't , he is still financially responsible for something that he willingly participated in.
If he didn't want a baby, then he should have said no, used birth control that he has control over (and if he isn't aware of how to properly use it, then he shouldn't be having sex) or gotten a vasectomy (obviously this is not an option if he wants kids in the future). His choice comes before conception, not after. | |
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2008CJ
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Joined: 4/12/2009
Msg: 169 | |
| How about if you got prego and went against his wishes to terminate/put up for adoption?
Posted: 5/25/2009 8:48:29 PM |
He can always sign over his parental rights if he absolutely didnt want anything to do with the child
There are very few judges that will allow this unless there is a stepfather in the picture willing to adopt the child.
And even if the mother doesn't pursue child support, if she ever goes on public assistance, the state will go after the father to support the child that he willingly helped to create. | |
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| How about if you got prego and went against his wishes to terminate/put up for adoption?
Posted: 5/25/2009 8:49:55 PM | Yes, I would pursue child support. I didn't get pregnant by myself.
A man and a woman are dating and they discuss contraception and the woman says, "I am on the pill, so that is what we will use for contraception." The man agrees. Somewhere down the road the woman decides she wants a baby. She stops taking the pill and gets pregnant.
SHE GOT HERSELF PREGNANT. | |
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2008CJ
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Joined: 4/12/2009
Msg: 171 | |
| How about if you got prego and went against his wishes to terminate/put up for adoption?
Posted: 5/25/2009 9:04:27 PM |
A man and a woman are dating and they discuss contraception and the woman says, "I am on the pill, so that is what we will use for contraception." The man agrees. Somewhere down the road the woman decides she wants a baby. She stops taking the pill and gets pregnant.
SHE GOT HERSELF PREGNANT.
I hope she contacted the Guinness Book of World Records. A woman getting pregnant without having sex and without artificial insemination would probably qualify. Of course, once they find out that she really didn't get herself pregnant, that her boyfriend had unprotected sex with her , they probably would then disqualify her as she didn't meet the requirements for getting herself pregnant.
The man is JUST AS RESPONSIBLE as the woman is for birth control. If he doesn't want kids, then he should make dam* sure that he is also using protection. It's called being responsible. | |
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