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| BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 6/9/2009 2:35:28 PM | | I agree with Tree... Obiesity is a choice... Im not say'n that everyon overweight person likes the choice that they made.. But I bet if they chose better foods to eat or chose to buy a gym membership and actualy use for longer than Jan 1st till Jan 31st of each year, they would see a lot of changes... Having spent 8 yrs in the Army it has allowed to go to many 3rd world countries. They day that I start seeing extreemly fat people in those 3rd would countries is the day I that I become a beliver in that being over weight is something that can not be controlled. Yes everyone's body is different and genes play a big role.. However there is always a way to get lose weight and get down to a respectable size. Its just that some peole think that 2 months of exersice and eating right is gonna out do 10 YEARS of doing no exercise and bad eating habbits. It just dosent work like that.. | |
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| BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 6/9/2009 4:17:46 PM | This thread has been ongoing for 5 years but since it is a subject that most people are concerned with then, here it goes.
Anyone wanting to lose weight should do it for reasons that are not just vain. Being a girl that tipped the scale, at my heaviest was 191 lbs., I had to do it for myself. My joints hurted, I couldn't breathe, I had heart palpitations, walking was a chore, and the mindset I had was shot. I couldn't walk down the street without thinking if people were staring and making comments. I lost the weight within the 8 months of moving out of my folks house. I learned proper nutrition and to this day still ask questions from people everywhere, even here in the forums.
I work out with a 5-6 day split with the proper rest days. I lift weight and do cardio. I am still a work in progress. Not easy. | |
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| BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 6/9/2009 4:40:41 PM | | yeah, its hard to lose weight after a certain age. i lost a few last year, but for all the wrong reasons...was trying to lose for a man...and i don't know why because i was happy with myself and content---then i tried to be something i wasn't. the reason its hard is cause some men look at you disgusted or dont look at all. lol. everyone has their preferences. skinny people dont appeal to me. kind of look at them disgusted...poor things--they really need to eat something--do they think they look good like that? ill take a few pounds over anyday. i prefer chunky men and chunky women. :) bi curious? find the right person one day and shell make sure you enjoy your first experience. its all good stuff. | |
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| BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 6/9/2009 4:49:43 PM | | CJ, I would suggest checking out some of the South Pacific nations for a start. My brother did a stint in the peace corp in the island nation of Tonga where the population has always run to fat. It's in their genetic makeup. The island he was on was one with no cars, no running water, no electricity, ect...... yet the people were still large so there goes your theory. | |
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| BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 6/9/2009 5:12:30 PM | honestly hunny bigger women are alot hotter than most women.... i know cus im bi... and if u wanna give it a try go for it cus ud be suprised im not small myself and ive had every shape and every size of girl u could posibly imagine and i can tell u that most girls would go for u.
I hope i helped a lil and theres always gay bars u can go too if u got any questions halla back | |
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| BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 6/9/2009 5:19:14 PM | I'll post this again for the obese ladies on here who are fooling themselves into thinking men find them attractive:
Start making all your own food, don't eat out except once a week - tops. Don't buy anything at the grocery store, or any store, with more than one ingredient. I positively, 100% guarantee you will lose weight.
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| BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 6/9/2009 5:29:23 PM | | tbudha, my lovers would be terribly unhappy if I lose my figure. I doubt I will be dropping my full time work or full time school schedule to follow your little strategy thanks. | |
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| BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 6/9/2009 10:44:18 PM | Guys don't like BBW because it makes their****look smaller.
It's just a matter of taste. I don't get turned on by looking at a pencil, but someone who's too big wouldn't turn me on either. It may not turn me off, but it wouldn't turn me on. | |
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| BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 6/9/2009 11:57:59 PM | It's hard because your culture is telling you that it's wrong. They can't make money off you. The people in power in this culture make money off telling lies, and an easy and predominant one is that emaciated women are sexy. This male-dominated culture cannot make money and extract power from a populace who accepts themselves as they are.
Remember that the people painting the billboards, those publishing the magazines, are people who seek power and dominance, AT ANY COST.
If we look at ancient cultures, we see examples of women worshipped who are shaped full of breast and buttocks; full women, rounded, like the earth.
You're living in a patriarchal society among men who worship the phallus out of insecurity. Just look at the Washington monument, or any weapon-- they're all shaped like phalluses-- this is a patriarchal society which intends to penetrate, and dominate-- and based on what? Fear. This goes deep, and deep. You are in a culture of male worship. Of course, female worship has it's own problems-- Orson Scott Card pointed this out well in one of his books.
But we are clearly unbalanced.
I think it's fine for women to be skinny, some women are; but I think it's also fine for them to be "fat" or "curvy"; I work with a woman who is a walking fertility symbol, she's "huge," in this society's terms. Big butt, big titts, big everything. And I can tell she's self conscious about it, yet she's gorgeous. And on some level, she knows she is.
Yet every day she has to deal with people judging her, because she's supposedly "fat"-- and therefore, meaningless.
But she has a beautiful vibe and shape and when she walks, she jiggles, all over. There are cultures that would be worshipping her, yet she got stuck in our culture, and she has to deal with that.
Best thing is to read up and love yourself, you'll see that all this judgment cast upon you is false. | |
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| BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 6/10/2009 12:06:27 AM | Those peeps are large, but they have a natural diet generally, and when we look at things like their cholesterol levels, they're lower than Americans, by a long shot. Sure, their natural diet adds "fat" to their appearance, but since it's natural (mostly vegetable fat, ala coconut oils, etc), they are actually healthier than almost all americans.
I would take a "fat" and healthy polynesian, with their diet of veg and natural meat over a "skinny" and non-healthy american, with their diet of corporate food, any day of the week. If you were to look at the molecular structure of these individuals, any person living a natural existence will always win out over some american eating corporate food. Every time. And they don't smell bad, like americans, eating those horrible grains and over-processed things. I say this as an american. I see a woman on the beach, she looks good, but she smells bad-- she's all wrong, her body is dying. I see a brown polynesian, she appears obese, but she doesn't smell bad, it doesn't seem as if her body is fighting all these horrible invasions. | |
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| BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 6/10/2009 12:21:59 AM | I love coming back to this thread and reading other's POVs. Some I just shake my head at, some I get a chuckle from, and others are just great. I learn a lot in here about people who post on PoF. The forums are a great way to get to know how, to a degree, people may really be.
John49152, you rock my socks. Great posts. | |
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| BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 6/10/2009 1:24:41 AM | if a lady is active, eats healthily, but is still big and curvy then that's just the way she's meant to be. why put pressure on her to be anything other than herself? worse still is to make her feel like she's wrong or inadequate for being herself. i love bbw's, and if other guys can't see how sexy they are then thats fine, it just means there's more for me  | |
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| BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 6/10/2009 1:25:56 AM | kthyg, it's bs to say that SP nations are obese due to genetics. It can predispose someone to obesity, just as one can be predisposed to cancer. Actually becoming obese is well within the control of the individual. If you have higher metabolic efficiency, eat less and exercise more. It's that simple. Tonga's incidence of obesity has sharply increased over the last few decades. The problem? Same as everywhere else. Crap processed foods and a sedentary lifestyle.
As for dating and sex appeal, that doesn't really seem too important to me. One should want to lose weight to avoid heart disease, diabetes, hypertension, cancer, etc. All of this talk about self-esteem and whatnot is all well and good, but the bottom line is that you're putting your health at risk. I don't find that attractive at all. | |
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| BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 6/10/2009 4:06:00 AM | And yet, as I have stated, my blood pressure, blood sugar, cholestoral, ect..... are excellent and always have been while that of apparently healthy coworkers who you would find in societal norms for height and weight are not. My metobolic set point is low. It would take me severly restricting calories to lose weight, below what it would take for most people because my body temperature, heart rate, and blood pressure all run very low.
Why should I do this? Why would I shove myself through a routine of severe caloric restriction in order to fit an ideal that does not mean anything? I am all for working out regularly. In fact, before I decided to go back to school full time on top of working full time, I was in the gym seriously working out 5 days a week an hour a day and I loved it. However, many would say I was not succesful because I didn't drop weight. That's the scary part. | |
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| BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 6/10/2009 4:26:16 AM |
if a lady is active, eats healthily, but is still big and curvy then that's just the way she's meant to be. why put pressure on her to be anything other than herself? worse still is to make her feel like she's wrong or inadequate for being herself.
Thank you.... someone who sees what women of all sizes have been trying to say for ages. I was having this discussion with a male friend just last nite, and he said pretty much the same thing.... and he could not figure out why so many larger women are so insecure. I think I will send him a link to this thread.
What gives ANYONE the right to demean someone due to their size? ... how is that different from demeaning someone for their religion? Yes, in some cases, not all there are health issues related to body size.... but as kthyg has continually pointed out... not everyone has them. Also, diabetes is not always a health issue with size... there are over 100 kinds of diabetes.... and only ONE of those correlates to being overweight.
JMHO | |
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| BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 6/10/2009 4:48:38 AM | | I'm trying to wrap my head around why there is such a reasonable attitude by women with regards to understanding that not every woman is built the same and that some women are bigger no matter how healthy they are BUT that attitude doesn't seem to carry over to men and their body types. There is very little tolerance for men with ANY fat on their stomachs at all from a lot of the women's posts I've read. Very few men naturally have a "six pack" but I see nasty comments about men all the time who have ANY stomach at all. I'm starting to run out of paper on my giant list of hypocritical attitudes that seem to be in these forums. | |
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| BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 6/10/2009 5:06:43 AM | | It has been said that you take the guess work out of what to buy at a market when what you buy doesn't have or need a label. Go to a farmer's market or Trader Joe's. My biggest foe when I was a big girl was anything made with hydrogenated corn syrup. It is cheap for manufacturers of products containing this because it is cheaper than table sugar. The brain won't recognize this sugar right away so by the time it does, you will have dumped a lot of it into your blood. It is in everything and the sodas that I used to down more than eat was what was the biggest no no for me ever. | |
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| BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 6/10/2009 2:20:47 PM | | CW, I can't answer that one because I have dated men all over the body shape spectrum myself. For me, if you have great shoulders and strong arms, your abs or lack of them or extra weight don't really effect me but i admit to being drawn to men with big shoulders and muscular arms. My old neighbor is very sexy and he is a BIG man. If he wasn't married I would have tried for him in a heartbeat. | |
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| BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 6/10/2009 3:03:36 PM | And yet, as I have stated, my blood pressure, blood sugar, cholestoral, ect..... are excellent and always have been while that of apparently healthy coworkers who you would find in societal norms for height and weight are not.
You are correct that not all obese people have health problems and some "average" sized people can have health problems as well. But that doesn't change the fact that being significantly overweight / obese does increase the chances of having multiple types of health problems. | |
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| BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 6/10/2009 4:17:17 PM | ^ Seriously, you aren't going to win this argument. Some people are very happy living their rose-colored life and will come up with every excuse and comparison under the sun why being overweight is fine. It's not, but seriously? It's like trying to explain pro-choice to an anti-abortionist, or hunting to a non-hunter.
If people want to be happy with their body size: Fine. Just don't try to gloss it over with "Well I'm healthy". Now you may be, but you'll need hip replacements, knee replacements, heart medications, diabetic medications, etc sooner than average sized people. Just because you're healthy now doesn't mean your weight isn't going to catch up with you.
I'm "healthy" too, was given a clean bill of health in February. Blood pressure, blood work, etc all came back well within normal limits. Doesn't mean being 200+ pounds is healthy, it means nothing, so far, has caught up with me.
If you're happy being "full figured" ( aka fat), then that's your choice - but don't confuse fat with healthy. It's not. Every bit of fat your body doesn't need is bad for you - for your joints (each 1 pound over weight you are is 100 pounds on your joints), for your organs (there's no where else for the fat to go, so it will encase your organs), making your heart work harder to pump all that blood through that much more tissue, will affect your breathing because the fat restricts the expansion of your chest wall, will pull on your neck and shoulders b/c the extra weight in your breasts is not good for them, will cause more work for your liver and pancreas and kidneys to create more enzymes for your body and to break down the sugars properly (and in some cases, they just give up and say 'Fk you, welcome to diabetes: population YOU'), and try to help expell wastes properly (again, sometimes say 'fk you' and welcome to peritoneal dialysis brought on by diabetes).
There is nothing "healthy" about being OBESE, FAT, OVERWEIGHT. Not one thing. There is not one long term, large group, proven study to indicate that being fat is good for you.
Being obese makes you susceptible to other health risks too, depression, dementia, Alzheimer's, mood disorders, sleep disorders, etc.
It makes healing from surgery harder and makes you more prone to infection, wound dehiscence, tissue break down, gangrene, and other complications. It makes surgery in general difficult due to the larger tools and instruments needed; retractors that would work in a normal sized persons abdomen are too short to work on an obese patient. There's more risk of bleeding b/c of the excess blood vessels that are in an obese patient, more risk of the surgeon damaging something he shouldn't have due to being unable to properly see what he's operating on. Muscle wasting due to being overweight and not exercising enough will make postop recovery more painful and lengthy.
So - fine, be happy being fat. Think you look sexy. Think you're beautiful. But please, for the love of all that is holy, don't delude yourself in to thinking it's HEALTHY.
No matter how you dress it up, fat is still fat. | |
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| BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 6/10/2009 4:32:07 PM | massgal, I would not argue that at all. It can increase the chances of having health problems. However, I believe more than anything else that lack of excercise is a much greater health risk than weight. I think there is a lot to be said for shifting the focus from weight to activity levels. If we could get people to start working out and working towards increaing stamina and muscle tone, we would see great health benefits. But, that's another subject. I only brought up the health argument here to indicate that it's a silly thing to say "I don't want someone who is fat because they might be unhealthy eventually". If that was the reasoning, we would be asking for health histories of anyone we date. Instead, the fact is some people aren't attracted to large women and some are. You don't have to justify it any more than you have to wrinkle your nose because someone hits on you that you aren't interested in. You just say thanks but no thanks and move forward.
Hallo Kitty, I am really sorry you couldn't stand the way you were when you were fat. I'm also happy that you lost the weight and feel better about yourself now. However, there is nothing worse than a "reformed sinner"as they say. You seem to be pretty perturbed that not everyone agrees with you. I also would love to see your study linking Alzheimers to weight since my family has dealt in depth with Alzheimers and there is no doubting that my mothers parents were both thin and fell to this disease. I have read the research and they are still figuring this one out. It's only recently they figured out the plaque in the brain that causes it and they still know much to little about the disease at this stage. You may have seen a preliminary link in some study but it is by no means conclusive at this early stage. | |
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| BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 6/10/2009 5:24:45 PM | kthyg,
I'm not going to argue with you - it's like hitting my head against a brick wall. If you're happy living with your delusions that being over weight is healthy, then nothing I - or anyone else - can say will change that. That's your own path and that is your own choice to take. It's ill-informed, but nonetheless, you're free to make that choice.
And fyi, I'm still fat. Through no fault but my own. People need to step up and take responsibility for their weight; the complacent attitude that people have and the blame game they play is very sad.
I've made my $0.02 heard, I can hear the echo of it from bouncing off the mental walls some of you have erected for whatever reasons. That's all right - in 20 years, when you're going in for a knee replacement or you're staring in to the face of diabetes, maybe you'll come to the realization then that excess weight is not healthy. Until then, enjoy the path you've chosen.
~Halo | |
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| BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 6/10/2009 6:53:09 PM | | Halo, weight obsession in my teens and twenties led me to depression, self hatred, and weight gain from yo-yo dieting and bulimia. Accepting myself as a fabulous, sucessful, beautiful woman has led me to happiness, weight stabilization, and a healthier attitude towards food and excercise. Gee....... I wonder why I think your belief in the negative images pushed by the diet industry are harmful? | |
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| BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 6/11/2009 2:03:26 AM | | Exactly. My fiancee suffers from major depression and one of the reasons is her weight. She is fine with being a big girl (although she wishes she was a size 16 instead of a 20) but it still hurts her when people treat her poorly because of it. Even her own mother who says horrible things to her and tries to blame every problem she has on her weight, which none of them are. We pretend to be a tolerant society but all we've done is switch the focus of our intolerance. Sad really. | |
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| BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 6/11/2009 7:03:13 AM | Not sure why the few cases where there's a medically-related reason for somebody being overweight are somehow supposed to overshadow the many where its cause is overeating and a lack of exercise.
I've been to several countries where there are few overweight people and the ones that were usually work around the American that were there...or were wealthy.
So it's obvious that not having much food available certainly will prevent most people from being overweight.
While I don't mind a woman w/ curves or a few extra pounds,a woman that weighs over 250lbs and is less than 5'7" is likely maintaining that weight by a poor diet and a dearth of serious physical activity.
There are always going to be reasons why people are not going to be attracted to you.
If they are reasons that can be changed...and you want to change them...then change them.
If they can't be changed...then find somebody that will accept you as you are.
Not sure why this thread has lasted as long as it has. | |
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