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| BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 1/24/2009 12:40:58 AM | | um if you want to meet someone of substance, stop talking like a slut. ur a squirter? TMI! start eating better and work out, I promise you will feel better. It's not about being skinny, but healthy. get a make over and realize that we are all different and if you were never a size 2 before, you probably won't be one. confidence is key and what is sexiest. focus on the things you good at. maybe try a bbw club, I know there are a few in LA.. just a few suggestions! | |
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| BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 1/24/2009 1:08:11 AM | Wow. I'm amazed at the ignorance in some of these posts. Eating healthy and exercising are not the cure-all for obesity. They help, but they're not the entire solution. This is especially true with women who suffer from PCOS and medications that cause weight gain. If someone has to choose between living with obesity so they can take medication to keep them healthy or alive, it isn't necessarily 'hard' to lose the weight, it could be dangerous. Why judge them? And since we usually don't know someone's medical history when we see them on the street or at work, why are people so quick to judge their weight issues as being entirely their fault?
Actually, as someone suffering from PCOS and insulin resistance syndrome it is NOT dangerous for me to lose weight - in fact, it is vital. I could get greatly diminish the symptoms from PCOS and get rid of the insulin resistance altogether if I lost weight.
There is never - ever - a situation where losing excess weight is "dangerous". Why are we so quick to blame their weight issues as being their fault? Because 95% of the time IT IS! Every fat person you see does NOT have a medical condition. MOST fat people (myself included) are FAT because they CHOSE not to take care of their body. They CHOSE to eat too much fat, too many calories, and do too little physical activity.
The small percentage of people who have genuine medical conditions making losing weight hard and gaining it extremely easy are - of course, exempt from this but they are the exception and NOT the rule.
It's only when people like you remove your rose colored glasses will you see the world for what it is. Instead of giving fat people the OK to continue their unhealthy life styles, more people should be actively helping to motivate people to improve their lives if they're unhappy with them.
I'm unhappy being fat - so I'm doing something about it. If other fat girls are unhappy - they need to get off their ass and do something about it instead of looking to people like you who defend them.
Again - the small smattering of people who have true reasons on why losing weight is hard are exempt, although that does not give them the OK to just give up.
There are no excuses for being fat. If you want to lose weight - you need to want it bad enough. And unless you're looking to go under the 100 pound mark, losing weight is never "dangerous". It's HOW you do it that's "dangerous".
You're missing the point. Countless studies have proven that women who struggle with their weight who eat the same amount of calories and fat grams per day as thin women still ly struggle with their weight. To assume that people who struggle with their weight do so because they eat lots of fatty foods is pretty judgmental, and it perpetuates the stereotype that has been scientifically proven to be false. Perhaps some of them do overeat or eat the wrong kinds of foods, but there are many who eat the same foods or even fewer calories and fat grams as thin people, and they struggle with their weight. A lot of it has to do with heredity and biology. This is not to say that some BBW's could lose some weight if they were a little more disciplined, but to blame them entirely for their weight is ridiculous.
Scientifically proven? Where are your sources. "Countless studies"? How many people were involved, how long was the study carried on? Was it a blind or a double blind? What were the parameters of the studies?
Yea, even if you eat properly you may still struggle with your weight; I never said you wouldn't. But it's also scientifically proven that if you consume more than you burn - you gain weight. That's not being judgmental, that's being factual.
"A lot" to do with hereditary and genetics? No. In fact, quite the opposite and appropriate studies (which I can cite) prove it. Genetics only determine HOW you gain and lose weight. Genetics do NOT determine how big you are. How wide you grow. Hereditary? Really? Do you know that's so incredibly misguided. If your mother is big, and your father is big, and your uncle is big - you CAN say that it's hereditary OR you can be realistic and acknowledge that your family MOST likely has poor eating habits.
Sorry, but I do not pander to such supportive beliefs regarding obesity. It's this sort of comforting and patting people on the back and saying "oh, it's not your fault" is just not helping the crisis that is sweeping across North America.
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| BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 1/24/2009 6:20:37 AM | Everyone has their insecurities. I have never been a thin person, well, once just before I got married...a lifetime ago...I went on a liquid diet and lost about 80 pounds. I was in a size 7, and I should have been so happy and confident. Well guess what? People told me I looked "sick"...I had no boobs, and you could see my ribs. So people had criticized and made fun of me for being overweight, and then people criticized and complained about me being too thin...Since then I have been up and down on the scales.
I guess the point I'm trying to make is that you can't please everyone, so you have to please yourself. (isn't that a song? lol) | |
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| BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 1/24/2009 7:26:33 AM | Its not hard to be anything...if your comfortable with yourself..then your good....if your not then you have to change....or talk with someone that can help you...as for food its like cigarettes or anything else...a comfort zone...YOU are who you are and as for the people that want to change you...tell-em to hit the road...be your self...who-ever you are!Good luck! | |
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| BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 1/24/2009 1:13:00 PM | | The BBW's that catch my eye are the ones who have the self confidence and also wear the right clothing. Nothing like showing off your curves without looking like an idiot. | |
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| BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 1/24/2009 2:34:51 PM | I'm in a similar situation, OP. I'm Bisexual- no longer curious hahaha. But I'm not that comfortable with my body- yet.
I have been told I'm beautiful and that I'm "Average"- but just recently. Everytime I think I'm willing to try to go after someone, I chicken out, as the image of me naked or in my undies pops into my head.
For those unfortunate many with low self esteem it can be really... REALLY hard to pursue something.
My suggestion? Well it would probably be to first learn to love yourself (cheesy but true!) and then you can love someone, figuratively or literally- it's entirely up to you.
Oh and Word to the wise- not many girls are up to being guinea pigs to test out your fantasy because they are looking for something permanent, more often then not. It's sadly not an L word, world hahaha.
;) Best of luck!! | |
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| BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 1/24/2009 2:46:27 PM | You are definetely dealing with underlying emotional hurt from a negative relationship. You need to look deep down with in yourself and find yourself. Rediscover who you were before you were in you negative relationship. Darling I have been down the same road, once I ended my relationship and focused on me and me alone, I lost the weight (without dieting or going to a gym). I rediscovered my self-esteem and my focus was no longer on food and I would go out and enjoy the day, why just because (walking, biking, swimming).
Unless you get back you to having a high self esteem and say to yourself "yes I am a hot curvy and voluptuous woman" (which radiates and attracts people greatly), you will be unable to overcome your self esteem issues. Be patient with yourself, good things come to those who wait.
Best of luck! | |
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| BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 1/24/2009 2:51:52 PM |
"A lot" to do with hereditary and genetics? No. In fact, quite the opposite and appropriate studies (which I can cite) prove it. Genetics only determine HOW you gain and lose weight.
This is interesting since I have had doctors show me studies that support the genetics theory. Weight is like a bell curve. Those of us on the big end, for the most part, have efficient storage systems. Our bodies convert food to fat very readily. On the other end of the curve are the very thin men and women who consume massive calories in order to gain a little bit of fat or muscle. The have very fast based metabolism. Their bodies are designed to burn fuel very quickly. Amoung the largest portion of the curve are those who fall into the average/athletic/ a few extra pounds category. Their systems operate within the normal range.
Now, if someone from the thin, can't gain weight end of the spectrum wants to move towards the middle of the curve, they will have to add shakes to build muscle, consume massive amounts of calories, ect..... If someone from the fat end of the spectrum wants to move towards the middle, they have to severly restrict their caloric intake and greatly increase their activty level. Neither end can operate within what the "normal" spectrum is and look like those in the mid range because our bodies don't process in the same manner.
My best friend and I growing up were the opposite ends of the spectrum. We did all the same activities, ate together, and basically lived in each others pockets from the day we entered school to the day we graduated. She was stick thin, couldn't gain weight to save her life, and despaired of ever looking more "feminine" as she put it (ie having more in the way of breasts and hips). Me? I was always prone to gaining weight very easily and, from the day I hit puberty, developed outrageous hips, breasts and rear. I despaired of every being "thin enough". So, if you had mashed our metabolisms together we would have probably both fit into that average category. Instead, she had to live with the way she was and I had to live with the way I was because neither of us was willing to go through the drastic changes it would have taken to enter that normal range.
For some people, it is worth those drastic changes. For many of us, looking like the average person is not worth watching every bite we put into our bodies (on either end of the spectrum). It is foolish to think though that most fat people eat much more than an average person and live a sedentary lifestyle just as it is foolish to think that most thin people starve themselves and work out obsessibly to look that way. Yes, there are some that do but they are the exception rather than the rule. | |
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ml456
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Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 86 | |
| BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 1/24/2009 4:46:32 PM |
It is foolish to think though that most fat people eat much more than an average person and live a sedentary lifestyle just as it is foolish to think that most thin people starve themselves and work out obsessibly to look that way. Yes, there are some that do but they are the exception rather than the rule.
Of course not all fat people have a poor diet and / or sedentary lifestyle. But I don't think people who are fat due to these reasons are the exceptions to the general rule. The percentage of obese people in the United States is much higher now than it was 30, 40, or 50 years ago. Human genetics haven't changed that much in this time period of time. However eating habits and lifestyles have changed. More fast food, more people playing video games or sitting in front of their computer all day etc. | |
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| BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 1/24/2009 5:54:10 PM | For me the hardest part about being full figured is being marginalized by some people because of my weight. I KNOW I'm a fun, funny, good-hearted, intelligent, and sexy woman, but I've been hurt by those who think that they can judge who you are based solely on looks alone. Now I know it's human nature for people (especially men) to be visually oriented, but looks are not the sum total of a person. Looks are merely the wrapping paper. Personally, I'm more interested in the gift. Maybe it's just that I'm a woman. It seems to me that women are more forgiving in the looks department. I don't know.
What I do know is that there are many people (men and women) who think that being overweight shows a lack of self-control or will power. They will tell you all about how to eat and exercise. Some will even ridicule you and use derogatory and intentionally hurtful words to describe you. This has never motivated me to lose weight. Never.
I don't understand why some people are so incredibly judgmental. If it's a matter of personal taste...fine...go seek what you want, but there is no need to try to rip into another person's self-esteem. And please don't attempt to "fix" a full figured woman with helpful advice (unless asked). That is often counterproductive, at least in my case.
There are so many reasons why a person might gain weight and/or retain weight that it is overly simplistic and incredibly ignorant to put all of the blame on the individual, as so many like to do. There are probably several contributing factors. That's why diet and exercise alone just aren't the cure all.
I, personally, have struggled with a number of factors that have effected my weight. I lost my parents and grandparents within the space of ten years, emotionally devastating me. I took care of my mother for nine of those years. I eventually had to quit my job to take care of my mother full time. Stress and depression were my constant companions. I ate for comfort and an attempt to assauge my grief. My own health was put on the backburner out of necessity, and so it was no surprise when I was diagnosed with type II diabetes (it runs in my family) and depression (also runs in my family). So does obesity.
Some of the medications I must take "may cause weight gain" and my metabolism isn't what it use to be. Even the economy effects my choice of foodstuffs and my weight (cheaper foodstuffs are often loaded with carbs), but I've been trying to stretch the buck, so I don't dig into my meager savings.
I offered my own little tale in the hopes that some who read this might have a little more understanding and sympathy for the less-than-svelt. I didn't gain my weight because I was lazy or a glutton. And I am working on losing, but it's not going to come off overnight. I can accept that; I wish others could.
Try to be nice to the big girls. We have big hearts and big dreams, too!!! | |
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| BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 1/24/2009 6:13:56 PM |
The percentage of obese people in the United States is much higher now than it was 30, 40, or 50 years ago. Human genetics haven't changed that much in this time period of time
I believe there are multiple causes. Many of us work a desk all day where our parents worked on their feet all day. We are pumping our food full of hormones to make the animals plump and fat and wonder that the populace is seeing the same effects. I don't blame fast food that much although there is some validity. However, my grandparents regularly ate things like side pork and eggs fried in butter. I'm not sure that is better than fast food.
Still, there is a predisposition amoung people to run fat or thin, just as we run tall or short. (Average height is growing as well statistically). The genetic propensity has been there for a long time. Our bodies just haven't had the luxery of storing like they do today. You will notice that throughout history, in times of plenty, thin is in because it's not the norm. In lean times (or in countries with fewer resources) bigger bodies tend to be celebrated more. It's ingrained into us for whatever reason. It's a fascinating phenomena to study. | |
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| BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 1/24/2009 8:09:54 PM | I dont get that hundreds of years ago being a larger person male or female would have meant wealth, and esp. with a female, you would be able to give birth to several children without the risk of killing yourself. and now, to be of a larger shape your lazy.... excuse me? first off on a personal note, i prefer a larger woman, one reason, if im gonna wrestle with you, i wanna know you have cushion like i do to be able to have fun, and when were cuddling, i dont want a stick figures elbow goin inbetween my ribs and think i got stabbed.
There are plenty of a**h***s out there that go by the hour glass figure, but for many men we get bigger as we get older, so why cant women?
and guys, am i wrong or alone in saying that a bbw is just that, beautiful? and also that nothing is better then seing a confident woman? now if your a toothpick, or not, if you dont have confidence you have nothing. | |
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| BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 1/24/2009 8:28:28 PM | Society is geared towards being thin. Now, a healthy weight should be the REAL target, but unfortunately that is not the case.
I'm quite sure there is biological evidence that people are more attracted to thinner people inherently, but if you are a woman of any size and stature I can guarantee you that there WILL be men throwing roses at your feet regardless. | |
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| BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 1/24/2009 11:21:05 PM | Halokitty,
Again, you've missed my point. Read a little more carefully. I didn't say losing excess weight was dangerous. What I *did* say was that if someone chooses to go off of a weight gaining medicine so that they can lose weight, and that medicine is keeping them alive, that's dangerous.
Rose colored glasses? Are you kidding?? Let's set serious medical conditions aside (life-threatening). Let's look at some other reasons that women especially struggle with losing weight. Note, I'm not making excuses. However, you're reducing all women who don't have a serious medical condition to being fat because they 'want' to, or they're too lazy to do it, or they don't want it bad enough. Tell me, what would you say to women who have been raped and either consciously or subconsciously hide behind their weight? Would you be this harsh on them? As much as they dislike being fat, they cling to their weight as a protective barrier. When women are molested as children the numbers skyrocket. (If you want to get into a citation war bring it on. It's a little silly though, since there are arguments on both sides. Your choice though, since you claim that you 'can' cite).
Nobody has 'looked to me' to defend them. I'm going to step in and defend people when they're viciously and ludicrously attacked, though. Which is more appropriate when someone has a question such as the one posed in this thread? To offer an opinion (without judging?), or to attack that person (as you did).
It's unfortunate that you see the world so harshly. I wonder what has made you so bitter and derogatory of others? Giving people the benefit of the doubt rather than forcing or expecting them to 'get behind' your truth is unreasonable and unkind.
And nobody gets the 'ok' to give up? Are you kidding? Everyone has that choice, it's a God given right.
You say that 95% of the people who are fat are fat because it's their fault. Hmmmm. What scientific sources do you have to back that one up? Are you absolutely certain that a mere 5% of the female population in the United States (or around the world) have PCOS or other medical conditions that make losing weight difficult? That's ridiculous. You may want to recheck your numbers there.
With regards to genetics and heredity, I'm not even going to dignify that with a counter argument. It's just too ridiculous to even address.
By the way, as I pointed out in my original post, there are very thin people who pig out at McDonalds and other fast food joint, don't excercise and don't gain weight. They may be in the minority, but they're out there. So your scientifically 'proven' factual statement isn't in fact factual. It may apply to the majority of women, but it's nowhere near factual for all women. Check your studies. Very few studies are absolute. They may present overwhelming evidence that lean towards supporting something, but I have yet to see a study that states unequivically that they've proven something beyond a reasonable doubt. To do that, you'd have to test an entire population rather than a mere sample, even if the sample is large. I know of no studies that have included an entire population, do you?
If all you've deduced from my original post is that I'm 'pandering', 'comforting', 'patting people on the back' or excusing them for being overweight, you simply haven't grasped (or refuse to grasp) anything in my post.
One other thing, just a friendly FYI. You tend to speak in absolutes, insisiting that you're completely right and I'm completely wrong. That's argumentative. These forums for for civil discussions, not attacks and pointless debating. If you read as many scholarly journals as you indicate in your post, you might pay closer attention to the phraseology. Research isn't an exact science, and scientists tend to ask more questions than conclude with absolutes. The language in these journals tend to lean towards acknowledgement of previous studies, and how best to further the research. They're informative, not insistent.
I realize that you may feel the need to attack again because I'm sure you're going to be unhappy with this post. Let's keep it civil though, shall we? I also think it would be a good idea to agree to disagree on the points we've covered, and if you have other arguments you'd like to present, I'd be happy to discuss them with you in a civil manner.
Cheers,
M. | |
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| BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 1/24/2009 11:34:27 PM | | OP, I understand what you are saying. I was a very slim 110# until I was about 20 years old and in an unhappy marriage. I stayed in that marriage for about 15 years and continued to grow to wholping 268. I am on 5'1.I felt very bad about myself. I met my 2nd husband, and he loved me just as I was and I never gained another pound (never lost it either) but I dressed nice and held myself up with pride and recognized that I was an attractive woman anyway. I got lots of compliments form people and was told often that I was very pretty. I became divorced a second time and it had nothig to with my weight. A year after my divorce I had stomach stapling surgery and lost 120 #. I am still bigger than a lot of people think that I should be but I am comfportable with where I am. I have said all of that to say this....Just feel good of yourself the way that you are and have pride in your self. I do not date any more now that I have lost the weight than I did before. I will admit that it is much more fun to shop for clothes now. And continue to attempt to loose the weight in a healthy manner for your own sake. | |
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| BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 1/25/2009 3:31:33 AM | I never got this. You DO understand that most guys could care less what acronym you go by, after all, you tend to not only victimize yourself, but label yourself as well, and then show that openly to the world oustide your ownself, which in turn makes people not WANT to be around you.......you fry your Mojo!
Just because someone ELSE has a problem with something doesn't mean I do! Or the other guy or gal standing next to me.
Last time I looked, it doesn't matter what YOU think THEY think of you, just go have fun, it matters that the guy/gal looking at you is saying, "Regardless of what YOU think, sweetcheeks, I gotta get me some of THAT!".
It's life people, go live it. ****ing and not doing has NEVER fixed a single thing, ever.
The more sour the fruit, my friends, the less likely it will be bought and eaten.
I vote Mudhen for Planetary Overlord of Earth! HE knows how it rolls! | |
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| BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 1/25/2009 5:28:21 AM | OH GOD ANOTHER BBW THREAD!!!!
Look if you don't like yourself, get off your a** and do something about . It's not the weight that is keeping you down. It's your mind set that keeps you alone . Look almost all my life I have been up and down the scale . But I get the attention I require because I keep them laughing.They don't refer to me as the fat woman that made them laugh. I focus on something other than weight. I dress in clothing that fits me not the girl sitting next to me . When I want to lose I do. Right now I am mending a fractured knee cap. I can't do my daily walking routine but I don't use it as an excuse to feel bad and put food in my mouth either I do the best I can till I get better . | |
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| BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 1/25/2009 8:09:20 AM | [Food turned into my only comfort]
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OP, a lot of women, especially, have this problem. Unfortunately, it is a way of coping with depression. I did the same thing when I lost my son and my husband (now ex) dealt with his grief in a different way. However, now I feel like it is a continuous battle. Regardless of how much exercise and dieting I do, I seem to just stay at a standstill, and can't get the weight I gained off. However, I'm not giving up. I'm rejoining the YMCA again and signing up for classes. I may never wear a bikini again, and that is okay with me, but I do like to be active. Try to keep a positive attitude about yourself. Keep walking and maybe add in an extra day if you can. If you can find an exercise buddy, that's a bonus. Incidentally, I never had a weight "problem" before what I went through. If I gained 10 pounds, I could take it off just as fast. | |
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| BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 4/27/2009 4:48:55 PM |  I keep telling myself beauty comes from within....(ponders thought) OH crap did I eat Beauty? just playin...but seriously men on here don't respond to my ad...well I did get a couple...one was married and the other demanded my phone # right away.....guess he was in the mood for a lil Ringin my Bell.....lol....I don't think I am a awful looking lady...not Barbie....but look at how long it takes Barbie to get her azz up and rolling in her damn pink car!! lol...I just don't understand why it is so hard for BBws....lol....more cushion for the pushin....I know I will get some sick remarks from that one...o well....well now that I haave rattled that off the chest ...I will sit back and wait for the crap 2 fly...... | |
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| BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 4/27/2009 8:35:35 PM | It is hard to be "full figured" because -
- you get out of breath when you try to do physical things
- it's hard to pick up things off the floor, tie your shoes, trim your toenails , *shave*
- find alluring clothes
- you perspire more and get rashes in the creases
This can be the first day in changing your attitude and improving your figure. Go to bodyforlife.com. Lots of before and after photos, testimonials of ordinary folks who altered their eating habits and exercise. Good luck! | |
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| BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 4/27/2009 8:44:43 PM |
It is hard to be "full figured" because -
- you get out of breath when you try to do physical things
- it's hard to pick up things off the floor, tie your shoes, trim your toenails , *shave*
- find alluring clothes
- you perspire more and get rashes in the creases
This can be the first day in changing your attitude and improving your figure. Go to bodyforlife.com. Lots of before and after photos, testimonials of ordinary folks who altered their eating habits and exercise. Good luck!
Wow. Stereotype much? My trainer says I can do a lot more than many of his other clients... and I know a lot of unhealthy and overweight vegetarians (altho that wasn't specifically noted in your post) and *normal weight* people.
I can out walk a lot of people, I'm able to put my PALMS on the floor with my knees straight (can you?), find pretty sexy things when I go shopping, and don't perspire or get rashes anymore than the next person.
Thanks for playing. | |
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