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 Author Thread: BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
 horny bi couple

Joined: 4/24/2009
Msg: 101
BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 4/28/2009 12:29:58 PM
well i think its hot that your a bbw. i don't like shiny girls I like big huge natural tits, big round ass that has something 2 hold on 2. if your a bigger girl there is somebody 4 you.
 Blondecharmthe3rd

Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 102
BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 4/28/2009 12:35:41 PM
The issues you have OP is with yourself. You need to work on that and no one is going to help you. Self journey.

There are those of us who LOVE our curves. I am losing weight but it has nothing to do with the fact I despise being a bbw. More about health. And I never want to be skinny...

Stop bashing yourself and making excuses. You are lying to yourself and you need to get past that to find peace and comfort of what and who you are.
 js104c1

Joined: 3/7/2008
Msg: 103
BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 4/28/2009 12:38:18 PM
Isnt it harder to be skinny?
 HowDidIGetHere

Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 104
BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 4/28/2009 6:41:59 PM
Folks, this article is so spot-on … and a thank you to writer Emili Vesilind. I hope you will read the first page and then follow the link to read the whole article at http://violetmurasaki.wordpress.com/2009/02/28/a-whale-of-a-tale/

[B]A Whale of a Tale[/B]
Today I became very angry after reading the following article in the L.A. Times. And yes, I know that there are several people who will read this and say, “oh well, now we know she’s a fat blogger” but whatever. This just seems very unfair to ½ the female population:

[B]FASHION’S INVISIBLE WOMAN [/B]
The average American woman is size 14. Why is the fashion industry still pretending she doesn’t exist?
By Emili Vesilind
March 1, 2009

When it comes to shopping, the average American man has it made. At 189.8 pounds and a size 44 regular jacket, he can wear Abercrombie & Fitch, American Apparel or Armani. Department stores, mall retailers and designer boutiques all cater to his physique – even when it’s saddled with love handles, a sagging chest or a moderate paunch. In menswear, shlubby is accommodated.

But the average U.S. woman, who’s 162.9 pounds and wears a size 14, is treated like an anomaly by apparel brands and retailers – who seem to assume that no one over size 10 follows fashion’s capricious trends.

Fashion-forward boutiques such as Maxfield and Fred Segal rarely stock anything over a size 10, and in designer shops, sizes beyond 6 or 8 are often hidden like contraband in the “back.” Department stores typically offer tiny sections with only 20 or so brands that fit sizes 14 and up – compared with the 900-plus brands they carry in their regular women’s wear departments.

That leaves style-loving full-figured women with a clutch of plus-size chains including Lane Bryant, Fashion Bug, Avenue and Torrid. Or big-box stores such as Target, Kohl’s and Wal-Mart, the No. 1 seller of plus-size apparel in the country – though most of its selection consists of basic, often matronly items. Beyond this, plus-size clothing is largely relegated to the Internet, where customers who already have a complicated relationship with clothes are unable to see, touch or try on merchandise.

It often seems that it’s easier to find and buy stylish clothes for Chihuahuas than for roughly half the country’s female population.

Americans are getting larger, and 62% of females are already categorized as overweight. But the relationship between the fashion industry and fuller-figure women is at a standoff, marked by suspicion, prejudice and low expectations on both sides. The fear of fat is so ingrained in designers and retailers that even among those who’ve successfully tapped the market, talking plus-size often feels taboo. The fraught relationship between fashion and plus-size is far from new, but seems particularly confounding in a time when retailers are pulling out all the stops to bring in business. Carrying a range of sizes that includes the average female would seem like a good place to start.

“Plus-size has been a challenge for the industry for decades,” said Marshall Cohen, chief industry analyst for the research firm NPD Group. “When I interview plus-size women, there’s really nothing [in the market] that the consumer says they like. Because of this, women in this demographic have learned to make fashion not a priority.” The longing for style is strong, but the hopes of finding it are low, and shopping is less fun than frustrating.

The message board at figuremagazine.com, the online incarnation of Figure, a magazine for full-figured women, reads like a laundry list of ways that brands and retailers aren’t connecting with the demographic.

“Are all big girls supposed to dress like Midwestern farm wives?” asks one reader. “We have money – why don’t they want to sell to us?”

Another adds, “I don’t want any more polyester, hip-hop gear, frumpy jeans and themed capris! I want the designers not to assume that I am a frumpy 55-year-old, middle-management employee. . . . Is anyone listening to us?”

It’s a which-came-first scenario, Cohen said. Because plus-size women have been ignored for years, they’ve stopped actively looking for shopping opportunities. But when retailers bring savvy style to the plus-size game (as Gap Inc. did with its short-lived concept, Forth & Towne, which carried fashion-forward clothing for career women in sizes 2 to 20), they often shutter their efforts before they have a chance to bloom.

“Retailers don’t have the patience to allow it to evolve,” he added. “This is a market that’s been underserved for 50 years. Customers are saying, ‘For 50 years, you’ve ignored me and now you expect me to react to it instantaneously?’ No.”

(the complete article at http://violetmurasaki.wordpress.com/2009/02/28/a-whale-of-a-tale/ )
 PardonMeMiss

Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 105
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BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 4/28/2009 9:03:24 PM
Why is it so hard to feel good about being fat? Seriously? Because it's unhealthy, in many instances unappealing to others and according to your response, yourself.

If you're comfortable in your skin, then rock on! If not, then you need to find out why. Do a little soul searching and see what you find. If you are who you want to be, then the opinion of the masses won't be but a fleeting thought to you.
 anthonyalan

Joined: 9/20/2007
Msg: 106
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BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 5/20/2009 2:27:44 PM
You should try bulimia.
 angelarenee123

Joined: 10/26/2008
Msg: 107
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BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 5/20/2009 5:24:34 PM
I have tried bulimia.And I like being A bbw a hell of alot better.
 Dagaz!

Joined: 5/11/2009
Msg: 108
BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 5/20/2009 5:29:45 PM
I'm 5'4" and 216 lbs. This past week I have lost 4lbs. I had gained up to 235lbs. and I thought to myself that I am getting out of control. I am losing very slowly, so hoping it will stay off that way. (It doesn't help, either, when some meds. I take cause weight gain). When I split with my ex-fiance for going out on me, I was done with dating. That was 22 yrs. ago. My ex also went out on me a few yrs. earlier. So I ate and didn't watch my weight anymore. I remember when I was slim, tanned and hot and it didn't stop the infidelity. BUT those days are over. I just want to be comfortable. I bought some really sexy stuff for big women to wear and I am biding my time when I am ready to go to that next level, but I have to meet the right man and date some first and that is nerve-wracking. On the bi-sexual part, have you checked out the women on the site and see if any show up? Good luck and don't let it get you down. It's a mind game that women play on themselves. Just ignore it. I have to do that ALL the time. I am ready for my next chapter to start.
 satx78218

Joined: 10/30/2007
Msg: 109
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BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 5/20/2009 5:41:24 PM
Being fat isn't only a cosmetic problem, or isn't even a cosmetic problem at all.

Overweight correlates with all kinds of health problems, sooner or later, and complicates non-overweight diseases and treatment.

The Amercian epidemic of overweight is totally due to consumption of too many calories, which is up like 25% in the past few decades, and calories of often no nutritional value.
 spicynicegirl

Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 110
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BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 5/20/2009 5:54:07 PM
^^^^^^^^
Yes this is true. However the issue here is that the OP doesn't accept herself.

You really do need to put your best face on (and clothes for that matter) and go out there and meet whomever it is you are wanting to meet.

I am not a BBW and yet I still have many days where I would rather hide from the world. I am 45 years old and I've had 3 children so believe me when I tell you I'm not exactly perfect.

In the end it all comes down to you. My best advice is to take each day at a time. Go to a gym but don't expect immediate results. Be happy when you drop 1 kg. Your attitude makes all the difference.

Now you go girl.......................
 tacitus1

Joined: 10/12/2007
Msg: 111
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BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 5/20/2009 6:06:21 PM
Sexy and thin don't need to go together. Thinner is healthier for the most part, but skinny women aren't necessarily sexy either. Hip bone bruises are no fun! Being good at sex is a physical skill and is at least somewhat athletic - if done right- but enthusiasm and experience are the most important factor. Sharing and giving pleasure don't require a certain body shape.
 Dagaz!

Joined: 5/11/2009
Msg: 112
BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 5/20/2009 7:24:42 PM
Well, come to think of it, there is this one guy......he knows what I bought, also. But am still holding off. It has been so many years and he understands this.
 miss_contemplative

Joined: 3/12/2008
Msg: 113
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BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 5/20/2009 8:55:46 PM
You don't have to love everything about yourself to love yourself. You just need to be willing to accept yourself the way you are to get where you'd like to be.

We're all overcoming something...weight is just another one of those things that some people need to overcome.

In the meantime, love every inch.
 anthonyalan

Joined: 9/20/2007
Msg: 114
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BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 5/20/2009 9:32:35 PM
Well now I feel bad, I was just kidding around!
 tbuddha

Joined: 2/28/2005
Msg: 115
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BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 5/20/2009 9:42:05 PM
Lose weight and keep it off. Real simple, everything you eat you make yourself from scratch. That means everything you buy at the store has one ingredient - whatever it is. I guarantee if you stick to eating only food you make the pounds will roll off like magic.

 rustygetsit

Joined: 7/16/2008
Msg: 116
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BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 5/21/2009 5:37:33 AM

The issues you have OP is with yourself. You need to work on that and no one is going to help you. Self journey.
There are those of us who LOVE our curves. I am losing weight but it has nothing to do with the fact I despise being a bbw. More about health. And I never want to be skinny...
Stop bashing yourself and making excuses. You are lying to yourself and you need to get past that to find peace and comfort of what and who you are.


So true. Learning to love yourself is a very difficult life lesson for some people. Some don't even realize they feel that way. I love my curves, and most of the men I've met do, as well. Health is the key, however. You still have to stay active, exercise, eat well and make sure your body is as strong and flexible as possible. It should never be hard to be full figured, slender, short, tall or pointed. What's hard is trying to be what/whom we are not, and then being angry at ourselves for it. What You Think of Me is None of My Business ...
 Ted Michael

Joined: 6/28/2008
Msg: 117
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BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 5/29/2009 12:38:08 PM
I discovered as I gained weight how much I liked heavier women. Wonderful discovery.
 notdesperate36

Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 118
BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 5/29/2009 12:45:35 PM
well bi....i'm going to have to say that for the most part-you've received some pretty good advice here....you just need to get some more confidence in yourself...there are alot of us bbw's and alot of men that love us...take your time...you've got to learn to love yourself and love who you are....as for the bi-curious part....i allowed my self-esteem to keep me back from the experience for years...and regret that...it's amazing...list off the amazing things about yourself and when you look in the mirror remind yourself of those qualities...everything else will come.
 Heathen Chemistry

Joined: 5/18/2009
Msg: 119
BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 5/29/2009 1:03:02 PM
Lots of black guys like BBW. I'm not one of them.
 no_1_bby

Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 120
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BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 5/29/2009 3:07:49 PM

I guarantee if you stick to eating only food you make the pounds will roll off like magic.


In theory, yes. Sometimes in practice, not so much.
 ~EyesThatTalk~

Joined: 2/18/2009
Msg: 121
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BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 5/29/2009 3:20:50 PM
If you are confident with who you are... it is reflected from the way you carry yourself. Confidence is very sexy! So many men out there appreciate BBW's.

Okay definition of BBW is Big Beautiful Woman... not Big Breasted Woman
VPSG: Voluptuous Plus Size Goddess
SPSM: Sweet Plus Size Maiden
DIVA: Desirable Intelligent Vuluptuous Angel
ELLE: Elegant Lovely Large Extravaganza
CC: Curvacious Cutie
B*TCH = Beautiful Individual (That) Takes Care of Herself
 ççç™

Joined: 4/21/2009
Msg: 122
BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 5/29/2009 4:33:53 PM
oh lose the weight.... hell no! Too much work, who's going to count calories, exercise everyday. Day after day for years and years....
oh hell no! It's heck a lot easier to come up with excuses and except yourself as you are, oh and also call yourself "beautiful" .....
tricking your mind, thinking you look good....

oh well... it's good for "fit" people. Their stock is going up. Simple supply & demand. Eat, eat! Eat some more...

Oh btw ... BBW is oxymoron. No such thing!
 Connor-19

Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 123
BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 5/29/2009 4:57:47 PM
Being beautiful is a matter of perspective. Everyone is turned on, or attracted, to certain things. So find someone who finds you beautiful. That's all there is to it.

Also I'm just going to say I think it's wrong for people to say they accept themselves for being overweight, and to be happy with who you are. I don't think you should hate yourself, just be aware that you should lose the wait and work at it. You add time to your life. People say it's hard to lose, and yeah it is, but it's doable. Watch the biggest loser.

If you're willing to work hard and put some self restraint on yourself you can add years onto your life. You can decide if that's worth it or not I guess.
 kthyg

Joined: 11/24/2006
Msg: 124
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BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 5/29/2009 5:56:51 PM
If you're willing to work hard and put some self restraint on yourself you can add years onto your life. You can decide if that's worth it or not I guess


I'm just curious, every time you see someone who is naturally rail thin, do you decide if they would just excercise some self restraint they would put on muscle? I'm thinking the answer is no. My best friend throughout school was rail thin, couldn't gain to save her life. Lost weight is she thought about working out, let alone did it. Somehow people think that being overweight is all about lack of self control. Is it lack of self control that makes my core body temperature average 96.8 instead of 98.6? Is it lack of self control that gives me abnormally low blood pressure and a slow heart beat? Or is it the fact that my metbolism is different than your average person?

Now, medically there is nothing wrong with me that explains these things. I just naturally run lower than most people. And, yes, if I wanted to starve myself and watch every morsel that went in my body and hit the gym for hours at a time I could probably overcoe those metabolic difference but, the fact is, I want to enjoy myself so I'm not going to do that. If that offends the fat haters (those that insist there is no such thing as BBW) then that's just fine. Won't be the first or last time I have offended someone. I don't think everyone needs to want to date me but get over yourselves with the comments and ignorance.
 Connor-19

Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 125
BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 5/29/2009 8:24:24 PM
I'm just curious, every time you see someone who is naturally rail thin, do you decide if they would just excercise some self restraint they would put on muscle?


Rail thin is a weird defintion. There could be 2 types of that.

Rail thin, skin and bones. Rail thing, just lean, but no muscle.

They would put on muscle though slowly. Sorry that's just how the body works. If your body is not made to gain or lose weight/muscle fast that doesn't prohibit you from doing it. You just have to work harder.


Somehow people think that being overweight is all about lack of self control. Is it lack of self control that makes my core body temperature average 96.8 instead of 98.6? Is it lack of self control that gives me abnormally low blood pressure and a slow heart beat? Or is it the fact that my metbolism is different than your average person?


Part of it is how your body works. There is no denial of that. Some people have high metabolisms. I have a friend who is very thin, and in high school, was able to eat as much as he wanted. Normally he would have the lunch meal, an ice cream treat and a double chocolate chip muffin. Guy probably wasn't even 150.

However, sorry, some is due to lack of self restraint. Your metabolism may be lower than the average person but you are capable of changing that. Working out regularly will change your metabolism so that when you are sitting on the counch watching T.V your still burning calories. I don't really believe it's lack of self control and purposefully, you just wake up one day and realize holy poop-rockets I'm 50 pounds over the average weight for my age and height.

And that's when you realize you should do something about it. Never accept it's because of who you are, and how your body is built. If that was true the shows like biggest loser (while there for the ratings, and the people on the show are pushed to limits and moderated by trainers) could not exist.



And, yes, if I wanted to starve myself and watch every morsel that went in my body and hit the gym for hours at a time I could probably overcoe those metabolic difference but, the fact is, I want to enjoy myself so I'm not going to do that.


The fact that people post this kind of logic is the reason why very few people change.
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