| When should the woman start paying??
Posted: 10/4/2005 12:21:57 PM |
dude if they are dates you pay.
That's sexist.
I'm all for feminist, thanks to them when I open my wallet there's money in there! | |
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| When should the woman start paying??
Posted: 10/5/2005 3:53:14 PM | What is it with men who don't want to pay.....I have seen the most common reason.....
"My Wallet"
Let me ask you something folks
Does money run your life......Does it keep you awake at night......Are you going to shrivel up into nothing if you pick up the tab.......
You might say, well we're not rich like you Garofalo......
Well guess what.....I don't have a paying job......I intern, I don't money to work, I work on stuff that i love doing. I don't need money for it.
its called saving your money, you see a paying job, TAKE IT. Small moves. now, IDK if you all understand what i just said, but to those of you who did......exploit it | |
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| When should the woman start paying??
Posted: 10/5/2005 7:51:46 PM | | It's got nothing to do with "wanting to pay", but just an offer to pay would be nice, instead of assuming we are always expected to open said wallet. | |
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| When should the woman start paying??
Posted: 10/5/2005 8:00:11 PM | | It's kinda funny but alot of men out there are so cheap. Call me old fashioned but I always pay no matter what. I've heard stories from women about the "I forgot my wallet at home line" or just paying half the bill and expecting the woman to come up with the rest. Show some class guys, sure women are independant and I'm sure half the times you go on a date with one they probably make more money than you. But who cares about who does what and who makes more, personally I think it's all about making that woman feel special and to be treated like a lady. If you can't afford a hundread dollar night, go for a coffee. | |
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| When should the woman start paying??
Posted: 10/5/2005 8:31:18 PM | ^Okay, that's all very chivalraic and all but here's a question for you : Why ?
Why do you insist on paying (assuming she asked you out on a date and she makes twice as much as you do) ? That makes no sense in today's world. It seems to me that in this case the class would be lacking on her part if she didn't pay for the date she initiated and can more than easily afford no ? | |
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| When should the woman start paying??
Posted: 10/5/2005 9:11:51 PM | | Ok, regarless of who asked who out, I think the gesture should be made. Should we make them pay half, no. Should they offer sure, it is the polite thing to do, regardless. | |
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| When should the woman start paying??
Posted: 10/5/2005 9:30:31 PM | Well, y'all (with a few exceptions) have made me feel quite old-fashioned as well. I've never been on a first date (or second or third for that matter) where I payed (although Im sure I've at least done 'the reach') AFTER about three dates, when you know you are going to keep dating...I have no problem handing over the cash, for whatever...dinner, parking, drinks, bike fees (yes bike racing fees when he needed cash and didn't have any). I am more then happy to pull money out of my wallet, if I've got it, for him.
All's fair in love and war so they say, but dating.....at least in the beginning ....is all about the man.
And, I have to say, 100.00 for a night out for two isn't really that over the top...when you think about dinner, drinks, music or dancing...I don't think the OP was too out of line with what it costs these days. But certainly don't make it an every weekend thing if you can't afford it, there are plenty of cheaper things to do (as mentioned by everyone). Blockbuster is in business for a reason! If she enjoys your company, she will enjoy just as much 'in' as 'out'. | |
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| When should the woman start paying??
Posted: 10/5/2005 9:35:52 PM | Right off the top. Split the bill. No obligations -- no ties -- no now ya owe me bullsh!t.
If you become a more serious couple later and one earns more money than the other and it truly is a gift from the heart from one to the other, then fine.
I realize a lot of people wouldn't see it that way, but I guess that's why I'm prepared to wait it out or just sign off completely.
I want a partner -- not an obligation or a benefactor. But that's just me. | |
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arri
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Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 63 | |
| When should the woman start paying??
Posted: 10/5/2005 9:40:46 PM | I am not concerned with the money, but it is a test.
My feeling is that if she doesn't even do the reach, she is history. | |
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| When should the woman start paying??
Posted: 10/5/2005 9:42:58 PM | And no, I don't think that it's right to assume that the guy doesn't mind or that in fact, if guys like a girl enough they'd be willing to pay as someone stated here.
Maybe for someone but if I had to rely on hanging a price tag on my ass and asking how much it was worth on the market, then I might as well quit while I'm ahead.
Twenty, twenty-five years ago yeah. But now...just thinking about it makes me laugh my ass off! | |
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| When should the woman start paying??
Posted: 10/5/2005 10:11:46 PM | From a different perspective...
What do you all think of the woman who knows damn well by the end of the meal she doesn't want to see the guy again, yet expects him to pick up the tab? | |
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| When should the woman start paying??
Posted: 10/22/2005 7:17:39 AM | | hmm...I do think its unfair that you have paid that amount each and everytime and its been that much money. I also think it sucks that she has not even offered to pay once. I have gone out with guys who INSIST on paying all the time, which is really sweet and nice (and I am sure they make a lot more money then myself and have been really considerate) and I have gone out with guys when sometimes I pay, sometimes he pays etc. I have also gone out with guys who "forgot" to go to the bank machine or suggest to go eat somewhere and I end up paying the whole, or good portion of the bill. Now, I am not a gold digger and I don't expect to be taken to the finest restaurants etc. but, it is nice to be taken out by a guy and for them to insist on paying sometimes. For some reason I feel like there are no guys like that anymore, and if anything things are becoming the opposite and there are many girls who are paying on many more occasions then guys. Guys - give me some insight!!!! | |
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| When should the woman start paying??
Posted: 10/22/2005 5:29:39 PM | | I agree.If you ask them on a date,then you should pay.But if the girl at a different time would like to chip in ,then why not. | |
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| When should the woman start paying??
Posted: 11/2/2005 9:05:09 PM |
Now i am not complaining, except for the fact the average cost for each night was roughly $100
Actually, yes, you are complaining and the best you can do is ask her if she can pay her own way next time. Get honest and get real with her. Tell her you don't want to have to pay the whole shot anymore and see where it goes.
She'll either tell you where to stuff it or she'll acquiesce in agreement and fork out the dough. | |
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| When should the woman start paying??
Posted: 11/5/2005 10:48:51 AM | | If you are both working then the initial responsibility of dating and paying is yours. If you really like this girl and want to keep on seeing her then the classy/gentlemanly thing to do is foot the bill without expectations. As time goes by, and a "relationship" develops then she may start to reciprocate. Furthermore, dating is not all about the "money" value. She may reciprocate in other ways to show her appreciation like picking you up something nice when she is out shopping etc. In addition, you do not always have to "party it up" on each date by spending over a $100.00 each time. | |
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| When should the woman start paying??
Posted: 11/5/2005 11:03:03 AM | Who were these crazy women who WEREN'T giving up for Feynman!! I don't mean to come across as easy but Feynman certainly wouldn't have had to buy me drinks to get me to spend the night with him. I would have been happy just to listen to him talk!!  | |
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| When should the woman start paying??
Posted: 11/5/2005 11:31:05 AM | Perhaps I'm a bit old-fashioned, and admittedly I was born, raised, and live in the deep South (so I have "Southern-style" manners), but it is my always my expectation that I am the one that (with only rare exception) will pay.
The exception would be when she has made arrangements for a date, and has pre-paid for items (tickets, etc.). Even then, I am prepared to pay if and where necessary.
Nothing of value is free. As my grandfather would have said: "If you desire to spend time in the company of a woman of quality, any real man should be prepared to pay for the honor and privilege." As I said, old-fashioned.
In reality, I refuse to believe you have to throw money at a woman to impress them. A $20 romantic, evening picnic date under the stars (with engaging, interesting conversation, and where you take the time to truly get to know one another) is going to beat a $100 dinner and a movie out date (where you never really have the opportunity to talk and connect) every time.
If you are on a budget, get creative and romantic. If not, spend some money and be romantic.
And if you want to whine about having to pay... well, good luck finding Sugar Momma. | |
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| When should the woman start paying??
Posted: 11/5/2005 11:49:29 AM | Sure women have jobs today, some even make more money than her date (who would've thunk that??)
Whoever plans the date should be prepared to pay for the entirity of the date. This is usually the man on a first date. This is one of the times when it sucks to be a guy. Later in a relationship the division of costs can be negotiated.
You don't see too many women asking guys out for first dates.
Guys, if your date gives you a "reach", take it as a great compliment; ask her if she'll pay for the after dinner drinks.
Many women are "high maintenance" and need their man to pay for their entertainment because they are already in credit-card debt from their shopping escapades. Feel lucky she isn't requiring you to pay for her shopping trips and manicures.
Guys, take women offering to pay half as a duel edged sword. If you feel she has "traditional" values and offers, it's most likely an indication that she wants NOTHING to do with you ever again. Her thinking is if she let's you pay she thinks she needs to put out sex. If she has modern up-to-date values, she is a jewel. Don't forget that. | |
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| When should the woman start paying??
Posted: 11/5/2005 11:55:04 AM | Sorry, a bit off track there...I think whoever asks the other person out for the first time should either expect to pay or make it clear in the invitation that it is a dutch treat. Personally, I never presume that someone is going to pay my way unless they say so. I also try to order inexpensively and stay away from alcohol unless the gentleman is having a drink and offers one to me. I just try to be considerate of the other person and treat them as I would like to be treated.
My last boyfriend took me to a trendy expensive resturant on our first date. It was a showy pretentious place where everyone goes to see and be seen. I hate that kind of place but it was a nice gesture. I ordered light and he paid. That was the last time he paid. That was the last time he offered to pay. I even had to pay 5 bucks for parking every time I went to his apt. Never once did he offer to help me out even though he made 3 times what I do.
Needless to say, this was indcative of his overall character and our relationship was shortlived. | |
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