| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 7/27/2007 7:09:11 AM | Sunspots, I think we all missed something here, Happy Birthday (belated that is) I hope it was a nice one.  | |
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| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 7/27/2007 7:13:36 AM | Ruby,
I guess with me when I say old fashion it's a case of morals which the younger generation seem to have lost. My first date with my former husband I was so nervous and my tongue got in gear and wouldn't stop. Basically, I told him I wasn't a woman of the 90's and believed in morals and I would not compormise my values. Thankfully, he and I held the same values. I think it is harder in the world today to find someone with those values which makes it hard for me to find someone but I still will not lower my standards. I may be lonely but not desperate. I stay busy and go out a lot doing group things but you can be lonely in a crowd. My feeling is, if it's meant to be it will happen and if not I'll be content as things are. | |
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| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 7/27/2007 1:30:04 PM | I think you[re pretty damn close there tnshylady
I'm in my 50's...and a hard analysis of it all says to me
sure, I want to date and do things with a fine woman from time to time
but, don't forget, a lot of us were married for ****in' ever, and raised children already...so, freedom is something we cherish...and something we earned.
If, in my humble opinion, if more women in their 40's and maybe 50's just wanted to date occassionally, and have a partner to see a movie with, go walking, or whatever...making love, they would be on a whole lot more dates...and instead of pouring all of the words into these forums asking where the 'real ' men are
they might try to answer ...oh...let's say...one email per week. Just start somewhere...anywhere.
most middle aged women seem waaaaay to needy and desperate
scares the shit out of many a fine date.
regards
Akimbo | |
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| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 7/27/2007 2:06:04 PM | honest to god there are men that are asking themselves the very same question when it comes to women.
answer is... Meeting the *wrong* people... ummm and your right!
how confusing is that? very,but there are some good ones left that know what they want. Good Luck! keep smiling :) | |
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| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 7/27/2007 2:40:32 PM | | Agreed Akimbo Agreed. After 50 I finally got everything back that I lost in my divorces. Now why would I want to screw that all up by getting married again. I like the idea of her haveing her own place across town. And only seeing one another when the mood fits. They either are so bad off financialy that all they want is a man to SAVE them......or are only looking for a handy man who comes over to fix everything.Sorry I have enough BS to fix myself. Gotta find another FOOL to service ya. LOLOL | |
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| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 7/27/2007 11:12:22 PM | | Steveracer...thank you for the birthday wishes! And, yes it was a good one; one of the best I've had. | |
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| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 7/28/2007 7:36:37 AM | Below are the lyrics for 'All Alone Am I." Check them for metaphors and draw your own conclusions, especially if you have just ended a relationship, or 'cannot stand' to be alone, then surely you will 'fall'.
Close your eyes. Relax your body and mind ....
Center ... center again ...
Take several slow deep breaths.
Listen to the music.
Go to your heart center.
What do you feel?
All alone am I ever since your goodbye
All alone with just a beat of my heart
People all around but I don't hear a sound
Just the lonely beating of my heart
No use in holding other hands
For I'd be holding only emptiness
No use in kissing other lips
For I'd be thinking just of your caress
All alone am I ever since your goodbye
All alone with just a beat of my heart
People all around but I don't hear a sound
Just the lonely beating of my heart
No other voice can say the words
My heart must hear to ever sing again
The words you used to whisper low
No other love can ever bring again.
All alone am I ever since your goodbye
All alone with just a beat of my heart
People all around but I don't hear a sound
Just the lonely beating of my heart. | |
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ankkka
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Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 258 | |
| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 7/28/2007 7:48:30 AM | | It is deeply sad...what we feel about our solitude...but true,how lonely we are...heh | |
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| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 7/28/2007 9:22:26 AM |
Steveracer...thank you for the birthday wishes! And, yes it was a good one; one of the best I've had.
Great too here it was a good one, many more we all hope I'm sure. | |
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| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 7/31/2007 7:36:20 AM | The real question for us over 50 is: when do you give up and accept that its never going to happen again?
Donnchadh | |
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| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 7/31/2007 8:59:41 AM | Hiwayman I agree with Akimbo also... he has the right advice for ladies.. if we look for a boyfriend (old school word) we'd have better luck finding a man who wants to stay around... I personally leave my shopping list at home when I agree to a date.. I'm seeking a fun personality, and easy going type of man.. who is an addition not a subtraction from my life..we enjoy just being together....
That said.. If I had something to fix.. he'd be the kind of guy who would want to help me fix it... ! He'd be aware that he's in my house a lot and would want to replace the things he uses on a regular basis... You sound very selfish.. and closed off!!!! I might also want him to live across town and have his own place... if he had something to work on together why not.. couples paint rooms together.. fun to shower together when the job is done... But... if the mood hits and man has been bitter and selfish I don't care how much the mood calls to me... I'd pass.... and start looking for a new "boyfriend". | |
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bayrab
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Joined: 5/16/2007
Msg: 262 | |
| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 7/31/2007 9:08:02 AM | Dang it Donnchada....
ya made me come out of lurkdom......
NEVER GIVE UP. Good gawd. don't be a defeatist! 99 percent of us are drawn to people with 'CAN DO" attitudes!
back to lurk mode | |
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| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 7/31/2007 10:10:10 PM | | Well I am 70 and a widower and reasonably handsome I guess. Found out a lady was asking about me, she was rather attractive, so I asked the person what kind of questions was she asking about me and the answer was "How much money does he have?" Then they told me she needed a new transmission for her car. Ha! Thanks but no thanks. That is a turn off if I ever heard one. | |
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| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 8/1/2007 8:10:33 AM | Honcho.. she is a golddigger.. me I'd ask for a the name of a good transmission mechanic.... then take care of my own business!!! Struggling or not!
Some of women out here would rather slit our wrists than ask a man to help us out in a financial way.... we have our pride.... I have been accused of not being able to be helped by my men friends who have wanted to do little things around the house for me... being too independent is just as much a curse as being too dependent sometimes!!! | |
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| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 8/1/2007 8:29:48 AM | Tnshylady,
I do agree with you that datin gis a challenge for people over 50. However, I have to take exception with your two classifications of men.
1) Newly divorced men that just want to date around because they haven't been free for so long. They are like a kind in a candy store ... they want a little of this and a little of that.
Well, I've been divorced for a little more than 3 yrs & since I was married for 30 yrs it seems like the first time I've ever had much of chance to date. However, I took almost 2 yrs after my divorce to work on me and make use I was ready for any new relationship that might arise. Those 2 yrs included some wondrful counseling to help me adress some codependency issues and low self esteem resulting from my divorce. I didn't begin dating until I was really sure I was ready. I think I was expecting to date for a brief period, find someone new and begin a new relationship. I quickly discovered this is not as easy as it sounds. So lately I've tried to approach dating as a social activity to keep my expectations in check and focus on enjoying the moment. I still hope I find someone special to share my life with but I'm not going to allow my self to get desperate in that search.
2) Then there are the guys that have been divorced for 10 yrs or so. They like doing what they want to, when they want to. They will date you but don't want you getting too close. They like their freedom.
Well, this is a concept that I have a lot of trouble grasping. I was married for 30 yrs. The first 18 yrs or so were truly wonderful. The remaining 12 years became increasingly difficult and the last 6-7 almost unbearable. But after experiencing those 18 yrs of bliss ... I can't imagine being truly happy without sharing my life with another individual. I don't think we were put on this earth to live a solitary life and I don;t think you can achieve true happiness without finding someone special to share it with. I am learning to accept my freedom but I will never be truly comfortable with it.
Am I just meeting the wrong men, or am I right? I think you have met the wrong men so far. I know because I've expereinced the same thing with the women I've dated but I don't intend to give up my dreams of finding someone special and you shouldn't either. I wish you all the luck in your search. You seem like a wonderful person ... stay the course and it will happen ... :-).
Gary | |
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| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 8/1/2007 9:43:55 AM | ahh alone and lonely...very much different from one another.
I have been alone now for 5 almost 6 yrs..
I do get lonely feelings from time to time... but alone is a choice I have made at this point in my life..
a·lone
1. separate, apart, or isolated from others
2. to the exclusion of all others or all else.
3. only; exclusively.
Lonely
1 : being without company : cut off from others : SOLITARY
2 : not frequented by human beings :
3 : sad from being alone : LONESOME
So, I am not sad..just alone...
dusty
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| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 8/1/2007 10:19:40 AM | Dusty....
Get a pair of good labadour dogs.... they are better than women.... they love you unquestionably.... mind faithfully.... and don't talk back.... good at keeping the bed warm as well.... then you won't be alone....  | |
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| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 8/1/2007 10:35:13 AM | | yea! they don't talk back, complain you control em, want all your money and toys either! and...still love ya when you have a fat head from a few too many beers the night before.. | |
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| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 8/1/2007 2:41:47 PM | Dating over 50 can be a problem, but the issue I find is that singlw men in my age group are only mainly out for sex and mainly want to be seen with the yuoung, thin, dumb blond Barbie. Boy are they missing the real deal.
Just recently I spoke with a guy that wanted to "test drive" me before he decided if he wanted to date me to see if we were sexually compatible.
I'm fairly attractive, reasonalby intelligent and somewhat independent...I just want to find someone who will accept me as i accept him. I see so many mis-matched couples, unhappy couples, and couples who cannot get along...I'm here and easy to deal with.
Isn't there anyone who is willing to give me a chance? | |
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| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 8/1/2007 3:15:08 PM | A lot of men have just come out of a costly divorce or a bad relationship.
So they are in no hurry to go back there.
I have a house, car and bags of money and dont see why I should have to give half away to someone for the sake of a bit of company and sex. | |
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| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 8/1/2007 4:31:41 PM |
A lot of men have just come out of a costly divorce or a bad relationship.
So they are in no hurry to go back there.
I have a house, car and bags of money and dont see why I should have to give half away to someone for the sake of a bit of company and sex.
And your point is??......
So what are you doing here? I understand what you were saying until the last sentence. You can date someone without them taking the house, car and bags of money  | |
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Bev55
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Joined: 7/8/2006
Msg: 272 | |
| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 8/1/2007 7:53:26 PM | | Hi Doc - I am 52 young man and starting with friendship and planning activities together sounds ideal. Is your coffe club in Mississauga? | |
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| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 8/1/2007 8:52:35 PM | mid 50's here. Dating again...but hap-hazardly Don't really know how to go about it anymore. Women are much more independant now that when I was looking last. Always afraid to look at a womans body, because you get dirty looks for admiring what they took so much time to present.
I have a feeling I will remain single from this point on. Not what I envioned for my life, but I don't have the self-confidence to ask a woman out. Being single and 50's is a biotch. I know there are a lot of men that don't have the issues that i do. I do think that if I were 1. richer
2. taller
3. thinner
4. had more hair
5. better educated
6. healthier
7. Drove a better car....then I would have a better chance of finding a partner.
JUST AN OPINION
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| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 8/2/2007 6:03:27 AM | Do ya think women have a checklist they use while going through profiles on dating sites??? Just like too know. And I'm at work bored to tears.  | |
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| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 8/2/2007 9:55:09 AM |
I have a feeling I will remain single from this point on. Not what I envioned for my life, but I don't have the self-confidence to ask a woman out. Being single and 50's is a biotch. I know there are a lot of men that don't have the issues that i do. I do think that if I were 1. richer
2. taller
3. thinner
4. had more hair
5. better educated
6. healthier
7. Drove a better car....then I would have a better chance of finding a partner.
ship, throw that list away.. NOW!
Don't worry about it, there is someone out there for everyone. Those things mentioned above are minor.. It is what the heart is like that really matters when you get right down to it. Granted there are some out there that are looking for the material things in life. Very shallow in my opinion.. Just keep | |
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