| | OVER 50 And Alone....again.Page 17 of 29 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29) | Good Lord ... first thing Sunday morning. Is there really a point to this ?? -- other than the attention it generates.
cdn guy | |
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| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 1/27/2008 8:58:46 AM | | All of us who are over 50 would have to agree that it IS hard to find the right man ... but ... nobody every promised you a rose garden. | |
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| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 1/27/2008 9:37:20 AM | | Isn't funny how biologically out of sync we are? Just hitting our sexual peak and the opposite for men :( | |
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| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 1/27/2008 9:46:23 AM | You're not alone, but you forgot about the one who is widowed and was married to a saint now thats a hard act to follow...Its all a little mind boggling did I spell that right lol best of luck to you good thread!! | |
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| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 1/27/2008 9:54:53 AM | | My SO died almost five years ago and I don't feel that the next love in my life has to "live up" to his image in any way. My next love will be an individual in his own right and hopefully I will enjoy getting to know him and discovering who he is......... | |
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| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 1/27/2008 5:22:05 PM | Geez Mac..all that griping gave me a migraine!
Anyway..I only have myself to blame for my past relationship with my ex. Of that..there is no doubt. My bad judgement got me there..and my bad judgement may end up getting me there again..if I can ever get past a third date that is. Now..I'm not even getting mail..just..looked at. Wierd situation!   | |
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| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 1/27/2008 9:38:56 PM |
don't know the kinda town it is that you live in
That was a part of the first response to your post which brought the following story to mind.
Perhaps you are calling that particular experience into your life?
"Stories For The Heart"
What's It Like In Your Town?
(Retold by Kris Gray)
Once there was an old and very wise man. Every day he would sit outside a gas station in his rocking chair and wait to greet motorists as they passed through his small town. On this day, his granddaughter knelt down at the foot of his chair and slowly passed the time with him.
As they sat and watched the people come and go, a tall man who surely had to be a tourist ~ since they knew everyone in the town ~ began looking around as if he were checking out the area for a place to live. The stranger walked up and asked, "So what kind of town is this that we're in?" The older gentleman slowly turned to the man and replied, "Well, what kind of town are you from?" The tourist said, "In the town I'm from everyone is very critical of each other. The neighbors all gossip about everyone, and it's a real negative place to live. I'm sure glad to be leaving. It is not a very cheerful place." The man in the chair looked at the stranger and said, "You know, that's just how this town is."
An hour or so later a family that was also passing through stopped for gas. The car slowly turned in and rolled to a stop in front of where the older gentleman and his granddaughter were sitting. The mother jumped out with two small children and asked where the restrooms were. The man in the chair pointed to a small, bent-up sign that was barely hanging by one nail on the side of the door. The father stepped out of the car and also asked the man, "Is this town a pretty good place to live?" the man in the chair replied, "What about the town you're from? How is It?" The father looked at him and said, "Well, in the town I'm from everyone is very close and always willing to lend their neighbor a helping hand. There's always a hello and thank you everywhere you go. I really hate to leave. I feel almost like we are leaving family." The older gentlemen turned to the father and gave him a warm smile. "You know, that's a lot like this small town." then the family returned to the car, said their thank you's, waved good bye and drove away.
After the family was in the distance, the granddaughter looked up at her grandfather and asked, "Grandpa, how come when the first man came into our town you told him it was a terrible place to live and when the family came in to town you told them it was a wonderful place to live?" the grandfather lovingly looked down at his granddaughter's wondering eyes and said, "No matter where you move, you take your own attitude with you and that's what makes it terrible or wonderful."
We really do create our own experience.
I don't like to be cliche' but change your thinking = change your life. | |
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| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 1/28/2008 5:54:11 AM | | I agree that we contribute to our surroundings with our own attitudes but I have been in lots of rotten neighborhoods that had nothing to do with my attitude! I was in a very negative neighborhood and surrounded by negative people and I did choose to move to a friendly place where I fit in a lot better. I'm just one person and I couldn't change all those negative people! But when I moved, I was careful to find a neighborhood where people were friendly and caring and nice............and it worked for me! | |
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| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 1/28/2008 6:00:19 AM | | Friendlylady, I didnt mean to imply everyone would compare a new love to the previous spouse ,but alot of men do want Mary back and theres no showin them what they could have in you...they are destined to greiving its sad but true...I never had that type of devotion from a man but we all deserve to be happy after the fact.. | |
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| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 1/28/2008 9:58:24 AM | | no you are right i find men of my age want to play the feild the younng the better | |
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| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 1/28/2008 10:47:50 AM |
"No matter where you move, you take your own attitude with you and that's what makes it terrible or wonderful." It took a parable for you to state that??? JuHEEzus. | |
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| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 1/28/2008 10:58:53 AM | After a certain age...if you're alone...isn't that the way you want things?
IMHO...if you wanted companionship...just like when you were younger...you'd do what needs to be done to obtain companionship.
If you don't....or you want things your way...then being alone might be uncomfortable...but hardly surprising. | |
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| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 1/28/2008 9:34:30 PM | "After a certain age...if you're alone...isn't that the way you want things?"
The answer to this is NO!!!!!!!!
There are those that are alone for reasons they had no control over.
"if you wanted companionship...just like when you were younger...you'd do what needs to be done to obtain companionship.
If you don't....or you want things your way...then being alone might be uncomfortable...but hardly surprising.'
This seems to suggest that people should settle on anyone just not to be alone. If you look at the majority of the people over 50 they have been married or in a long term relationship one or more times. It doesn't make any sense to me to do things "just like when you were younger" since it failed. It seems we should have learned from the past to avoid what made things fail. Being alone for some may be uncomfortable, and it may not be suprising but it should also not be suprising that people learn from the past and try not to repeat the past by making wiser choices.
I think part of the problem is because many people would "do what needs to be done to obtain companionship" when they were younger. Maybe if we had done things differently in the past we wouldn't be here today. | |
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| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 1/28/2008 9:51:15 PM | Exactly how I feel John..
It's not a matter of my wanting to be alone..or my willingness to settle for just any ole somebody so I'm not alone..but to choose more wisely..take my time..and hope for much better results than that in my past. | |
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| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 1/28/2008 10:10:31 PM | I agree, John........there are a lot of reasons people find themselves alone in their 40's, 50's or 60's and they had no control over it happening......
I always thought that I would be going on vacations with my retired husband, holding hands and having a ball as we explored different places, with the kids grown up and on their own, enjoying a jacuzzi while watching the Jag game with steaks on the grill..........
walking through Sea World (I love the polar bears)..........taking off on a Sunday for a drive and having dinner somewhere. I was watching a really interesting program about the universe the other day and I would have loved to be watching it with someone I loved and be able to talk about it together and things like that.
But now I find myself in a dating world where men want me to enjoy sports, camp, fish, canoe, whitewater rafting, kayaking...........hey, I love a nice boat......I live in Florida and I'm minutes away from the ocean but I did those kinds of things when I was in my 20's and 30's not now when I'm heading towards 60.  I guess I'm just a boring old lady who wants a boring old life..........
I wouldn't pretend to like those things just to try to deceive someone into loving me. That would be kind of useless in the long run.......... I have to be who I am and hope that someone else comes along who enjoys doing the things I like to do in addition to whatever he likes to do with his friends and that we would fall in love and etc.........
It's a lot harder now then it was when I was young.............but I'm not going to lie to someone about what I like just to avoid being alone............I don't get that......... | |
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| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 1/28/2008 10:40:48 PM | It's a lot harder now then it was when I was young.............but I'm not going to lie to someone about what I like just to avoid being alone............I don't get that.........
friendlyldy..
My best friend does exactly this..then..she wonders why things don't work out with her SO's. She states she has no regrets..but..I end up hearing for months and even years later what losers they were. All she had to be was herself..and she doesn't seem to know what that is anymore at 38..she's been pretending with so many for so long. It's really quite sad that she "can't" be alone long enough to find out. Her whole reason behind finding an SO has been that she doesn't want to be 40 or 40 something and the pathetic looking woman at the bar alone. I don't even know how that figures into the equation (the bar scene isn't something either of us do) but..that's her answer for jumping off the deep end with the first guy that asks to marry her. She's been engaged more times than I care to count. | |
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| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 1/29/2008 5:17:40 AM | | Your right but you should really have a little note book to remind you of the 3 important questions to ask when you meet them..How long have you been really free,Do you live with your mom who is well?And do you have to support your kids?That should be enough for you to say good bye first if he has no time for you!!! | |
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| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 1/29/2008 6:02:05 AM | Do you think you need to tell us any more how your not going to pick a loser and describe every kind of loser there is?
Why don't you all just make a list of your preferences and un-preferences and cut and paste them into every thread about any subject so those of us that have heard the same crap over and over don't have to think you might have something pertinent to say.
Oh, and I don't want to miss mentioning all the descriptions of your selves as being just wonderful dating material. Do you think people are going to believe your so unique after spouting the same crap over and over that doesn't get you a date?
You're over 50 and alone because no one wants to date you. They are not liking what they see and you keep showing them what they don't like.
If you want admiration for having grand excuses not to date, then you all need to start laying praise to those that have been here longest with out dating.
When you actually become someone worth having interest in, you will have a chance at getting someone interested in you.
Read a book, get a hobby other than discrediting everything and everyone as unworthy dating material.
Don't you see how obvious it is that all your harping about unworthy dates and how strong you are at detecting unworthy dates is preventing worthy daters from wanting to contact you.
Now if you think this is about you as an individual, your totally wrong. I'm stereotyping everyone that has nothing better to do than come here and describe what they don't want, how bad their dating life is and how wonderful they are.
If your delusional, I'm sorry you'll have no idea what I meant. And you now have my permission to point out how dumb, arrogant, hurtful and annoying you think I am and just continue with the behaviors that scare emotionally healthy people away. | |
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| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 1/29/2008 9:03:11 PM | YYYYYYYYAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH....loosers need to be exposed for the loosers they really are................just so they don't screw up anybody else's life but their own. | |
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| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 1/29/2008 9:08:49 PM |
You're over 50 and alone because no one wants to date you. They are not liking what they see and you keep showing them what they don't like.
Daaaaayyyyyuuuuummmm!!!!
That is so true
And yet...they NEVER SEEM TO LEARN!!!!! | |
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| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 1/29/2008 9:29:06 PM | Personally, it doesn't seem any more difficult than it was in High School... But the same problems persist...finding someone that you really click with is much more of a frustration... I've been divorced once 19 years ago and widowed once 4 1/2 years ago. I suppose that with our relatively advanced age we are more likely to have a better feel (finally!) what we are looking for in a relationship or possibly a spouse. I can understand some people, men and women, that have gotten comfortable with being alone. It's not so bad really, but if you have ever really loved someone, and been loved, then it's like a bear to honey. One taste and you spend your life looking for it. The men and women that are not seriously looking for a real relationship, well, it takes all kinds to fill the freeways of Southern California. Hopefully, those of us that are serious about caring for someone and being loved again will manage to run into each other in the process.  | |
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| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 1/29/2008 10:44:57 PM | I don't ever want to get comfortable being alone. I want to be with a man who loves me as I love him. Sounds sickly sweet...but I am a romantic at heart...and I know he is out there somewhere. I will answer all emails that come my way....ya never know where he is.
Hopefully, those of us that are serious about caring for someone and being loved again will manage to run into each other in the process. [quote/] Being a widow is not what I had in mind...but I would be it again if it meant being with someone who shares love with me, the same as I would with him. The internet is a fast track way of dating...fishing as it were...  | |
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| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 1/29/2008 10:48:03 PM | | You are a wise man Spence and just exactly what keeps the rest of us old broads looking in this playpen. Thanks for being you . | |
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| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 1/30/2008 6:41:18 PM | | Oh, really, feeling sorry for married men, why would you do that? dont you feel sorry for the women? | |
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