| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 3/3/2006 6:42:18 PM | | hang in there sister.......it is not you at all....been there....and know....I used to let some rejections beat me up and make me feel that there was something wrong with me and was more than ready to try to "fix" whatever it was....but ya know what.......There is nothing wrong with me....I am a giving and loving and spoilin kinda gal and always work at bettering myself....for myself.....and I am a really happy single gal....the right one that earns/deserves to share my live...will happen....and I am definitely willing to wait | |
|
| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 3/3/2006 7:57:26 PM | | Ya know honey..its Ok to be alone..we need to be our own best friend before we can be someone elses.....:))) | |
|
| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 3/3/2006 8:25:50 PM | | I just turned 47 myself.. and it didn't hurt one little bit!!! The problem is I just do not feel 47, I keep subtracting the year I was born from the present "2006" to make sure I really am 47!! | |
|
| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 3/3/2006 8:52:40 PM | | none of us feel that number in life....until we catch a quick glimpse in the mirror and then it is kind to us or not....does not change the number however...but their are real 'youngins' that always seem to talk with a foot in the grave attitude but I prefer to hang with the young spirited and optimistic persons....it is not the ride UP on the rollercoaster ride that is the most fun ya know..... | |
|
| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 3/3/2006 8:53:48 PM | | Ps I look at myself as two twenty five year olds..double or nothing...the best of all..wisdom and the maturity to acceot it..if the rest of the world cannot deal with us that is their problem not ours...we so rock at this age....Rosemary | |
|
| |
| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 3/4/2006 8:13:01 AM | Yes, I know that womens bodies age at a different rate to that of a man but this seems to be a widespread thing.
what is that supposed to mean! feeling superior r we? | |
|
| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 3/4/2006 2:24:43 PM | | superior?.....genetics play a huge factor in the age game....and stuff like abuse ie: alcohol, booze, smoking, sedentry lifestyle....it is just a matter of our inner spirit and what it generates us to do on the outside | |
|
| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 3/4/2006 10:57:26 PM | | I have to get in on this one.....I'm 54 , but I feel like I'm still 30! It's been hard finding someone with common interests. It's been hard finding someone at all! No offense to you young guys (20-30), but I REALLY need a mature relationship, where we are both comfortable with each other, and yet there's plenty of passion --- I totally know who I am and have many interests, but having someone in my life would be the icing on the cake. Why do people always say just be yourself and have a good time without a man -- usually those who say it are married! Hmmmmm....wonder if they're happily married? I don't care, I still would like to have someone to hold hands with, once again. I think I would do better in New York where there's lots of men, there's just toooo many women in California, and not enough men! | |
|
| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 3/7/2006 3:27:35 AM | I am alone and 51 a widow, all the men i met on here where liars except one. but he was way to old and way to tall for me. Men lie about thier ages and their marital status, or their wife is dying of cancer or she has alzheimers where do the guys come up with this stuff. As for kissing frogs no thanks. Most guys said i would date you, but mostly what they said is they want sex with you and no strings, Doesnt anyone want a girlfriend anymore. I have a lot to offer a man as a widow, home car security but i would ask the same from him. There have been the ones that say let me rent a room from you and if we get along i wont pay u rent no more..Or if they werent here i would have to pay the mortgage anyways. That makes me feel used and worthless. What i decided i will just stop looking and maybe someday i will have a date i didnt have to kiss some guys backside to get or to keep him interested cuz he is on here tasting all the other desserts on the table..that is the sad reality of internet and phone chat lines no one remembers the word monogamous any more. Then there is the stalker who wants your addy and phone number straight away and terrorizes you to no end if u give it to him. As for baggage, well if i met a divorced guy whos wife isnt that **** i would be surprised and they all want to torture you for what she did to him but its ok what he did to her to deserve payback..round and round we go..They say life begins when..i havent seen it yet..have you...donna | |
|
| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 3/7/2006 3:24:33 PM | | It could be a bit of both. There are probably men who are newly separated or divorced but want to enjoy the Candy store but then there are the men who don't want to settle down at all but lead the women on because they know damn well they won't get a date if they tell them that they don't want commitment. It's luck. | |
|
ahhhh
|
Joined: 1/14/2006
Msg: 137 | |
| |
ahhhh
|
Joined: 1/14/2006
Msg: 138 | |
| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 3/7/2006 3:32:44 PM | | We all get hurt Curtis, but one needs to let the guard down.....no venture, no gain | |
|
| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 3/7/2006 5:07:25 PM | | Nice Girl, maybe you are looking in the wrong places. I am a young 61, hav been divorced for a number of years, hav had a few encounters with the opposite sex, some good, some not so good. Had one serious relaininship with this lady who I cared deeply for but she let her three teenagers run her life.My point being there are a lot of us men looking for commintent but most woman just want a good time. | |
|
| |
| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 3/7/2006 6:09:04 PM | | I wasn't referring to me bunner. I was discussing about what tnshylady said and what some men out there do. There are many nice men out there looking for someone special in their lives | |
|
| |
| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 3/10/2006 7:36:59 AM | Wow ! Lots of interesting perspectives and opinions in here. Having just read this thread start to finish I figured why not kick in some more thoughts :)
Seems like falling in love was a lot easier when we were 20 or even 30 than it is at this jucture :49 . Then again there are valid reasons for that perspective.
At 20 we had yet to even find who most of us were in life, still getting our legs, gathering experiences and life itself seems to stretch out endlessly before us. Since we've yet to have typically realized ourselves, we seem to be more accepting of others variations on our own personal theme, and having fewer life experiences the list of what's acceptable is a bit broader.
In our 30s a lot of the same applies. yet by now many of us have been through several serious relationships, usually experienced marriage(s), kids have become a part of life for most folks. From the differences in our lifestyles we now have somewhat narrowed the scope of acceptability in a partner relative to the experiences we've encountered. A lot of us are still exploring ourselves at this point.
In our 40s lifes path has usually taken us to all the familiar places we have known in the past, though hopefully by now we'll have at least gotten a better understanding of who we are while just as surely what kind of personality we best relate to. By now children and/or teenagers or young adults are in our lives, most of us have been through multiple relationships on levels from dating all the way to marriage, and have again honed our perspectives a bit.
Then comes the 1/2 century mark, which will be occuring here this coming June.
Just my perspective, but here goes: I'm out there (and here:) lookin around for a partner to actually SHARE life with, and feel more capable of doing so than I've ever been in the past. I have a huge heart filled with romance, am honest in how I represent myself, stable (not rich:) in life, have a career, 2 wonderful daughters, lots of interests, still have a strong sex drive, and seek to share this time in life with a partner capable of doing the same :)
But ....I'm DONE with drama, dishonesty in a partner has become a trait that instantly ends any hope of anything meaningful evolving, infidelity in anothers past relates something to me that completely undermines any hope of lasting monogamy as a realistic possibility, baggage from previous lives is understandable, but if you wanna drag that crap around all the time you won't find me very willing to be helpful in that enterprise.
So many folks wanna use their past to define their own future (which tends to be self repeating or at least limiting), it's kinda how we're "wired" to be. I like to think my own progressions have all been for a reason. The reason is to have shown me traits I understand that will typically be at odds with my own, yet with an understood perspective that perfection is NOT seemingly likely and that everyone is different. This means each new person I encounter IS NOT someone I've already known and as such deserves to be viewed without prejudices of my own past.
I think if more folks were accepting of the new people they meet without instantly comparing and pigeon holing them into catergories from their past, we'd all get along better. As always, YMMV  | |
|
| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 3/10/2006 6:07:32 PM | tnshy: thanks for the info on the two types of men. What else of type of men are out there?      | |
|
| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 3/11/2006 4:26:12 AM | There must be a way that people can establish a connection that goes deeper than what is written in a profile....... we seem to judge by the pic and the words..... and often there is not an accurate picture conveyed.... we tend to set requirements and then measure the profiles to eliminate people.... and then when we meet someone we measure them and eliminate them for what ever reason.... and start over.......
Somehow we tend to limit ourselves and our exposure to others..... to our own dismay... | |
|
| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 3/11/2006 10:46:49 AM | wow.....wrenchspinner......ditto on all that you stated.....sheesh.....wish you lived closer....I'd give ya a call....and we could have a great chat....well wishes with the ladies there..... | |
|
Ailed
|
Joined: 3/10/2006
Msg: 147 | |
| |
| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 3/12/2006 12:13:14 AM | Flex posted:
Quote
You want to know why older men like younger women? It is not because of their appearance. (Okay, its not just because of their appearance.) It is because of their attitudes. Younger women don't bring in the hatred from the failures of their previous relationships. They don't blame me for the way that an ex treated them. They want to have fun, live life and see where things go.
EndQuote
I have found this to be true of younger men, as well. They haven't grown that great big chip on their shoulders yet (and by that I mean BOTH genders.)
 | |
|
| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 3/12/2006 3:52:19 AM | This is my first time posting on here so bear with me. I have read this entire thread from begining to end. I agree with some things and disagree with some things. Everyone is entitled to thier own opinions.
I just recently joined this site, and a couple of others. I have learned a whole lot since I have.
I have learned what true players are, both men and women. Being in the line of work I was in for so many years, I should not be surprised of what I have found, but I have to admit that I am.
#1- Why in the world would a person be it male or female want to talk about any ex's on the first date especially. Isn't the whole idea of the first date to get to know the person you are sitting across from. You can get to know that person without spending the evening talking about ex's. Way to many other things to talk about. What about what makes that person happy? What makes that person sad? Whats thier favorite color? What's thier most favorite food.? What kind of entertainment does he/she like? What about thier family, children/ grandchildren. What are thier likes and dislikes? What are thier pet peeves? and so on and so on. Other conversations will fall into place naturally which will create the comfort and laughter.
#2- Everyone our age has some kind of baggage. There is no getting around that. We sure weren't born yesterday. I myself prefer to get that baggage out of the way before I even meet someone in person. After talking to them awhile and finding that there is a possibility of us meeting, I prefer to be upfront about it and get my past out of the way and get it over with. I sure don't want to spend the first date especially talking about ex's. I have prepared a mini bio of my past. I send it to that person. After reading it, if they are still interested, then thats a good sign and I will answer any questions honestly that they feel like asking. At least they know ahead of time about my past and there is nothing hidden. If they can accept my past and willing to meet the person, then I would say we were off to a good start. I believe that should be taken care of before meeting for the first time, so there are no surprises or disappointments. I don't know how others feel about that, but that is what I am most comfortable with.
#3- You always come across those who are players and just love to play head games. I don't know what kind of kick they get out of it, but in my opinion they are sick to want tp play on others emotions. However they are out there and you just need to figure out a way to spot them and get rid of them quickly. I may not be the brightest light on the block, but I am not stupid either. However I have not had much success in spotting the players yet. I guess I am still too new at this.
#4- When someone puts thier profile out here for all to see, they are opening themselves up.
I myself have posted exactly who I am and what I am truly looking for. I have laid myself on the line. I was as honest as humanly possible. Some however are not. I figure if you are truly looking to make a good honest connection you wouldn't be lying about what you are looking for. If you lie in your ad, then you will lie about anything else. Just for an example. I state I am looking for honesty and someone who is slim, slender or average. I mean after, that is what I prefer and am most comfortable with. When I get a response from someone that says they are 5'10 inches tall and of average size, I am thinking maybe up to 150 lbs. (I may be wrong, but that is what I picture.) Then come to find out they are 5'4 inches tall and weigh almost 170 lbs. Now come on people, don't you think that when you meet this person he/ she would be able to see that your description didn't quite fit you.
I could go on and on, but have rambled on long enough. What I am trying to say is, just be honest about everything and up front.
Everyone here has made good valid points. I could not and would not try to dispute any of them. I just think that maybe some of the past issues should be brought out into the open before you meet, and then drop it. The if there are questions about your past let the person you are meeting ask them. Other wise for gosh sakes let it be gone.
Sorry for rambling, but thats just my point of view on the matter. | |
|
| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 3/13/2006 9:31:24 PM | | I don't know what happened, maybe i said the wrong thing or am in the wrong place. If I have derailed this thread I apologize. All I know is that this was an active thread until I posted. Then all of a sudden there are no more post. Did I say or do something wrong here. | |
|
Home
login 
