| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 4/17/2006 4:34:40 AM | I will always say that time tells all...
As well as we have to try & trust and take a chance in life and see where we will be..
Or with whom ?
But still a chance is just that' to try to find our happyness....
Life is too short to not try and take that risk "Or chance...
JOE | |
|
| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 4/17/2006 7:03:04 AM | Bobby719
so here we are all alone .................. another summer alone..........
I can't imagine why you would be spending any summer alone.....you look like a nice looking man....
 | |
|
| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 4/17/2006 7:26:46 AM | WELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL another weekend of MAJOR disappointments
Excuse MEN why do you lie about your age???
WHY
I'm 51 ...come on I'm a big girl I can take it
if you are 10 years older than me ...TELl ME .let me decide if I wanna get to know you becaues I find interesting , funny, and charming .
Now you've lied and you blew it ...and like the song says "I shaved my legs for this ?"
And then you wonder why no woman wants to be bothered with you ???
Don't worry the one that pulled this little magic trip out of his hat got the same speech | |
|
| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 4/17/2006 4:31:27 PM | | .....I'm 54 and wondering...IS THERE ACTUALLY A LIFE OUT THERE????.....Can I be the soul handicapped person to exist alone?? | |
|
| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 4/18/2006 6:20:55 AM | To: Hotpink angel,
I can sympethize (but can spell lol), I've been divorced since '97 too but decided that I needed a small break to "re-ajust". I was diagnosed with PN back in '95 (does the same thing as MS) and this I'm working with. I too now belong to the BBW "group" and I too am myself on line.. Guess I just don't believe in playing head games, but back to the original subject. Yes I'm over 50, but I'm not looking for love because I'm still learning how to love myself first. This may take forever but it doesn't mean I can't have a few good friends to have fun with. And I ment fun as in bowling, fishing, late night talks under the stars...I figure if something does click between myself and another, that's a plus, but if not, it's still OK! Because I do look on the inside of a person and that's what counts. And a good friend or two is worth more than a false romance. But........... that's just my opinion. I'm sorry if this sounds a bit crash (i do appoligize) but I gotta be true to myself so I can live with myself. So go out there and enjoy what life has to offer cause most of the best things in life are free. Smile and see how contagious it is.
Sweetwench    | |
|
| |
| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 6/22/2006 8:14:59 AM | Hello Bobby,
Bobby you are wrong,read my profile,what i'm looking for is someone to be
my friend,going places with,sharing laughtor,smiles,a hug or two,
someone to say to me "hey,I'm happy i met you.
Not one of those women looking for fun or sex,just a friend to grow old
with when the right one comes along.
Good luck in your search Bobby hope you find that special lady.
Pat | |
|
| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 6/22/2006 8:42:17 AM | I'm 59 (and a half...arrghhh), LOL........Married for 31 years to an abuser.............stayed by myself for (3 weeks short of a year)....and then met someone on POH.....Seems to be the "one"
I felt it important (even though it felt excruciating) to be by myself and heal.....but I did it; followed my gut instinct.
I say: Never give up hope (although i felt like there would never......be anyone for me)
This person that I think is the most amazing man I've ever met (well, he comes in a close second).....if my perception of him is wrong, i will grieve.....and keep on going.
love to all, Ally | |
|
| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 6/22/2006 12:44:47 PM | Wow, Philllb! I was just thinking something very similar. I think I've had a.....an epiphany: Let me say the exact same thing but reverse the sex pronouns. oh - and replace "change a lightbulb" to "do our own dirty dishes". There's obviously an X axis here with defending INDEPENDENCE on one end of the line and seeking INTERDEPENDENCE on the other.
The only way I've found out where the OP is on the line is to talk about the assumptions I made/make and check it out with the OP. This is a prime danger zone for misunderstandings and I've often seen this become a deal-breaker (in anotherwise promising relationship) among my friends, without them ever having discussed the actual subject. (ie., Where do we want to chalk a line between me/you/us? How much "me time" does each of us need?) Too bad.
There's been mention in this forum about wanting to throw someone's computer out or burn someone's books because of time spent (whether or not on/with porn). It seems to me, if I feel that way, it's because I expect him to be spending that time with ME - or I want on the pc myself - or why isn't he looking at ME instead of the centerfold? (But those are different compatibilitytopicc - How generous is each at "SHARING"? How CONFIDEN(t)CE is each about our own attractiveness?)
Maybe this topic should be an entry into the "compatibilty" thread? ....j | |
|
| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 6/22/2006 9:03:15 PM | | Well, you are somewhat right, but if you date with no expectations, except for a nice dinner with a potential friend, who knows? Dating sites are a strange way to meet people, so I don't take it for more than a meeting. We like our freedom too, so I would suggest to politely decline invitations of more than two dates a week from any friend. Your possibilities are endless. You just have to find a man in between the candy store man and mr freedom to find mr wonderful. Best Wishes, augustachick48 | |
|
| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 7/9/2006 2:52:35 PM | You laddies never met me.
Am i afriad of a ladies who is late forties andmaybe mid fifties NO. My experience as a bus driver who has a cou-ple of groupies in thier mid twenties. I will tell you if you aint 40 go away! A woman who is 40 and average looking with the light of expereince shining through her eyes is much more capable of interesting me than a 20 some thing candy cane with nothing for brains or maturity. I love the affectionate types. Just try this man who has been neglected for no apperant reason other than I am not 6 ft+ and 200. What you will see a whole new challenge to conquer or master.(I think I'm blushing) I am 50 now look m-a-y-b-e 30 and still just gobble up affection like a banana split with peach topping. As the saying dynamite comes in a very small package and so do I. | |
|
| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 7/9/2006 7:42:25 PM | | not to worry irish....i'm 6'4 and 225#........aint nobody crashin my door down.....lol | |
|
| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 7/9/2006 7:59:28 PM | | can't speak for anyone else shylady but i'm just lookin for someone to ride off into the sunset with. | |
|
| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 7/12/2007 5:21:44 AM | I had to reply to this posting, we are on plenty of fish so we can chat to people, but if that person is rude when making contact ??? some blokes send out confusing messages. Ladies get added to peoples favourites then that is seen as a compliment, BUT when a lady adds herslf to a gentlemans favourites all you get is abuse and rudeness. I have recently joined fish and had quite a few people wanting to add me on their favourites, I deleted quietly without making a fuss. So when someone says "blimey it is any wonder you havn't got any favourites I think that is rude and offensive. So Philllb next time you are rude to someone think about their feelings. I might be over 50 and alone, THAT IS MY CHOICE and NOT because I can't find anybody. I let someone into my life and got treated badly not because I didn't let them in, I gave a lot of love and WANTED them to be part of my life but they played the field. I DID NOT ASK FOR THAT. Now I feel ready to look again so please don't be so nasty, it is not easy putting oneself on this site. Rose1to1  | |
|
| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 7/12/2007 11:01:44 AM | tnshylady..
it's not only the men..women are like that too..I have found in my limited experience that after a woman is 5 yrs divorced that her opinions and attitude tend to be bigger than the both of us and she has by circumstance hardened off her life towards sharing.
tis a shame we just all can't accept and learn to forget..
dusty,
 | |
|
| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 7/12/2007 11:04:39 AM | They like doing what they want to, when they want to. They will date you but don't want you getting too close. They like their freedom. Am I just meeting the wrong men, or am I right?
No truer words have been spoken, however they want to be invasive in your life at their convenience. | |
|
| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 7/12/2007 4:27:39 PM | .
It is so hard to date when you are over 50.
Huh?? I must be running with the wrong crowd, then. I attended four weddings in the last two years for women friends my age! Worse yet, there are two more who are thinking about it. If this crap keeps up, I won’t have anyone to run around with -- all the guys I know are already married (still on their first wives).
Darn right, most of us single guys like to be able to do whatever we want. Something wrong with that? I might note, though, that a lot of women like doing many of the same things I do. I know that because I see them there a lot. And, I’ve been known to take a friend along from time to time, I just don’t call it dating.
Fact is, there’s plenty of room in my life for someone nice. But, I’m not out there actively looking, simply because anytime I do that I usually end up coming home with someone I really shouldn’t have. 
. | |
|
| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 7/12/2007 5:27:51 PM | | You're right, I am one of those guys who has been divorced for over 10 years but got remarried and became a widower 7 & 1/2 years ago. But I'm getting where I want someone to share whats left of my life to live with. | |
|
| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 7/12/2007 5:31:00 PM |
It seems there are only two types of men out there. Newly divorced men that just want to date around because they haven't been free for so long. They are like a kid in a candy store.....they want a little of this and a little of that. Then there are the guys that have been divorced for 10 yrs or so. They like doing what they want to, when they want to. They will date you but don't want you getting too close. They like their freedom. Am I just meeting the wrong men, or am I right?
I think you're wrong - I met an absolute sweetheart when I was 56 . . . | |
|
| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 7/13/2007 8:18:32 AM | It seems there are only two types of men out there. Newly divorced men that just want to date around because they haven't been free for so long. They are like a kid in a candy store.....they want a little of this and a little of that. Then there are the guys that have been divorced for 10 yrs or so. They like doing what they want to, when they want to. They will date you but don't want you getting too close. They like their freedom. Am I just meeting the wrong men, or am I right?
hogwash ... there are at least 3 types ... the 3rd type that is looking for someone compatible with his / her views, not someone that wants to mold them into theirs ... | |
|
| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 7/13/2007 11:11:18 AM | Tnshylady,
You may have only met men that fall into these two categories but believe me ... there are so amy others out there like myself. In my case I was married for 30 yrs before my divirce a little more than 3 yrs ago. I refuse to accept that I will live out the rest of my existence alone. However, since that possiblity exists ... I am learning to accept that possibility.
I also discovered that when I started dating again I tried WAY too hard to make the women I dated like me. I simply wasn't being myself ... I found I was playing a role. So I stopped and did some self examination. What I decided was that it wasn't fair for me or for the other person.
So decided to make a change. I decided to view every date with a person I had just met as nothing more than a social activity. An opportunity for me and the other person to enjoy each other's company and not attach and unrealistic expetations. What I discovered by doing this is it made every date much more enjoyable and removed the pressure from myself and the other person.
Now, that doesn't mean I've given up hope of meeting that special someone that I can begin a longterm relationship with ... it simply means that if it happens it will happen naturally ... not through any self-impossed pressure on myself to be someone I'm not. Maybe, just maybe this is what you've observed.
To answer your question ... maybe you've met the wrong guys or it simply wasn't happening quickly enough. I think the trick is to be patient and be open to the possiblitities and try not to judge others based one or two dates.
Oh ... even with all that ... I agree with you ... dating when you are 50 yrs old or older is hard so why make it any harder than it has to be? Enjoy the moment and let things happen naturally.
Good Luck,
Gary | |
|
| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 7/14/2007 12:47:08 AM | Well not all of us are divorced...some of us are widdowers! But I've found it very difficult to date again at my age. I haven't done this for over 40 years...and its taking a bit of time to get "back in the groove"! At first I was tempted to just "latch on " to the first person that showed an interest in me...I wanted a partner so badly!...but then I realized that was foolish...if I truly wanted to find a partner for the rest of my life...I had to meet a number of people, so that I could make a conscious and informed decision, and hopefully select a special lady whom I could love forever.
Unfortunately what I've found is that women my age [in spite of what they may say] don't want to be just friends first...they want to form an exclusive relationship after meeting only once or twice. It's too bad that dating at our age can't be a little more like it was back in high school where you could ask a few girls out a few times without having to "go steady"! I'm afraid that at this rate it's going to take a long time to find the partner I'm hoping to meet, and that when I find her there won't be much of the "rest of my life" left to share with her! | |
|
| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 7/15/2007 10:50:27 AM | I beg to disagree. Not ALL women want to latch on after one or two meetings. I am very cautious in this day and age! I truly wish to spend time with anyone I meet and really get to know them and that takes time!!!! Having lost not 1 but 2 husbands to death I probably will ask to see their medical records first!!! LOL
Seriously, any relationship has to begin with friendship and grow from there. Good luck! | |
|
| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 7/15/2007 11:24:49 AM | Some men, and some women are so glad to be "free" (which has a different meaning with different people), that they tend to be "casual" in their relationships with the opposite sex......and sometimes the older (more over 50) they are, the worse the attitude is......or others have been alone for so long they say they want a "relationship", but deep down inside, they really don't.
Most people don't have enough clarity and insight into who and what they want......they can't be honest with YOU if they are not honest with THEMSELVES! | |
|
| OVER 50 And Alone....again.
Posted: 7/16/2007 5:08:09 AM | Chocolatebrowne,
You make some very good points. Many men and women who got married at a very young age and had the good fortune to have a long term marrriage ... never expected to be single again themselves. And, like you said ... the longer this relationship lasted usually the worst it is for these people.
You also mentioned the desperation a person can experience when time passes and they continue to find themselves alone. I think this is to be expected especially when you had someone in the past. But despearation can cause people to do things they normally wouldn't and can cloud their thoughts and ability to reason. I just think you have to be aware of that and be cautious when you recognize that you are doing something or thinking about doing somehting you wouldn't normally do in an effort to relieve your loneliness.
From my person experience ... the older you are the more difficult this process it can be.
Gary | |
|
Home
login 
