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| Why don't any one in Michigan reply when you send mail on here
Posted: 1/15/2007 5:19:29 AM | ["The women on this site are just Internet junkies with a lot of mental and emotional baggage..." ]
I feel you are totally wrong in saying this. Personally I felt insulted when I read this statement - with disbelief that someone c/would say that! Rather sexist too IMO! I have met some VERY nice men here; I feel I have made some very good friends, some I see and some I don't but with whom I keep in contact as friends. Yes, I often get responses...and even if they are not interested, some are polite enough to say so, be it age, distance, etc. | |
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| Why don't any one in Michigan reply when you send mail on here
Posted: 1/15/2007 5:31:11 AM | To 1forU2Keep:
["The women on this site are just Internet junkies with a lot of mental and emotional baggage..." ]
I feel you are totally wrong in saying this. Personally I felt insulted when I read this statement - with disbelief that someone c/would say that! Very sexist too IMO! I have met some VERY nice men here, be it only online or in person. I also feel I have made some very good friends, some I see and some I don't, but with whom I keep in contact as friends. Yes, I often get responses...and even if they are not interested, some are polite enough to say so, be it due to age, distance, etc. And I am NOT an Internet junkie by far unless you consider on-line banking, stock trading, etc. makes me a junkie.(However you seem to be on-line a lot to be making such judgements!) I guess your statement made me angry! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr | |
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| Why don't any one in Michigan reply when you send mail on here
Posted: 1/15/2007 2:27:59 PM | It does seems a write lots of women, each long, heart-felt messages, I am a Christian & have high standards & am learning about it; I think I've been here at least... 2 years maybe more & thought I was wasting my time; so I did other things; I barely get any responses either & I'm nice. But all I really know whst to say for now is, sometimes write, sometimes find otherthings or dating sites & eventually someone I think will check us out & things will go good. Be patient. Balance. Well happy fishing for now. | |
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| Why don't any one in Michigan reply when you send mail on here
Posted: 1/15/2007 3:05:58 PM | @ai-ry;
Sir! Are you making fun of my 8 track tape player??
@danny1365
I certainly would not twist anyone's arm of PUSH them into the "bar scene",BUT: it is a place where people go for entertainment. The ideal thing to do is "adopt" a couple of local bands, or go to play pool, shoot darts,whatever! I'm in no way trying to say that you should sit on a barstool drinking yourself into a stupor! Pick your battles, dude! And there's no law requiring you to pour adult beverages down your throat like you just escaped from a forest fire!!
The only thing that bothers me is having the smell of cigarette smoke come home with me LOL(It doesn't bother me when I'm at the bar or pub, it's the next morning when my hair, my jacket, and my purse,if it's a fabric one- smell like smoke)
Oh and did I mention that my "adopting" these bands came about from meeting a member of each band at online dating sites?( Didn't result in dating either guy, actually it was BETTER, I made a whole bunch of new friends!)
So maybe you need to get creative and think of other ways to meet people as well as the 'net? Volunteering? Taking a class? "Real time" singles clubs and activities? I'm not suggesting you ditch internet dating entirely( though aren't we ALL tempted to, from time to time LOL?) but to not pin all your hopes on just that method...
Cindy O | |
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| Why don't any one in Michigan reply when you send mail on here
Posted: 1/15/2007 5:28:38 PM | | me i do get a couple of responses after a long while when i write them back, either they are not interested or found someone. i figured i give them some time if they read my ad and ask them upfront. that applies to the grand rapids,mi females | |
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| Why don't any one in Michigan reply when you send mail on here
Posted: 1/17/2007 3:11:16 PM | @ LadyC4, (cant believe there is not a quote button here.. Rant)
I have lived alone for almost a year now. And prior to that relationship I was a bar fly, and even to bring interest and excitement into that prior relationship, I brought us into that. I do know very well those things you mentioned. I am one of those people that likes to talk to the band, and I have had made friends of band members. I get e-mail from local bands still.
I know what your saying, get out, get known, hang around people whom are popular.
But really, I am not a 10, and in the bar scene, well,,,, you know...
Oddly, when I go out for dinner, it seems that I end up meeting someone as I sit the bar and eat, more often than not.
I guess I like going out, but I dont like going out by myself. | |
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| Why don't any one in Michigan reply when you send mail on here
Posted: 1/17/2007 4:08:42 PM |
I guess I like going out, but I dont like going out by myself.
well you may have to live with that for awhile, because although online dating is interesting and (most of the time!) fun, you don't want to confine yourself to only that method.
One persons 10 might be another ones 5...don't get hung up on the looks thing. Or find a bar where everyone is uglier than you are LOL( provided it isn't the local "cut and shoot", if the bartenders and waitresses are wearing Kevlar vests and a side arm, it's probably not gonna be a fun place, unless you LIKE fistfights and gunplay)
Instead of the bar scene, maybe there are some realtime singles clubs or dances in your area?
Volunteer opportunities?
Cindy O | |
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| Why don't any one in Michigan reply when you send mail on here
Posted: 1/18/2007 8:58:15 AM | Hey you all need to remember the key thing about this site. It is totally free and you get what you pay for here. True, the women rarely ever reply to a message. Yahoo and Match.com charged me to have women not respond to my messages so I love getting the same service here without the cost. Ummm, what was my point, anyway? Oh yeah, fishing takes patience and a bunch of luck. So does finding love. | |
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| Why don't any one in Michigan reply when you send mail on here
Posted: 1/18/2007 3:35:07 PM | @ Ladyc4 (still ranting how bad this forum is, in respect to forum technology, is this the 80's)?
I agree, online is impersonal and subject to the whim of that person's attitude is at that time.
But I do believe that there are truly good people out there.
unfortunately, I am not a 10, so, as of yet I have not met anyone of POF.
Mind you, before this, I have paid for date sites, and have had dates several times, with the same people. I think that people that can shell out some $$ are more determined, and so avoid places like POF? | |
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| Why don't any one in Michigan reply when you send mail on here
Posted: 2/12/2007 1:44:55 PM | To be honest, I've only read 4 out of 6 pages, so this may have already been mentioned and I just missed it. If so, then I apologize for jumping in, at a time when it looks like things are winding down.
There are lots of reasons someone doesn't reply. Granted, some of those reasons are not very good ones, and the polite person will reply. However, it seems a few basic facts have been missed somewhere. I would like to point them out for you, so that you don't have to go through life thinking there is something wrong, either with you or the women in Michigan.
First, despite the desire to make it otherwise, a wink online is not the same as a wink in real life. In real life, if you wink at a girl, she may shyly blush, could duck her head, or maybe react with a smile. The one thing she will not do is talk to you. Nope. Mom raised her right, and she knows better than to talk to strangers. You could be the hillside strangler. Every little child out there gets the speech about strangers, and it doesn't disappear just because we are on the internet. Besides, what do you say to a wink? In real life, you don't say anything, all the cues are nonverbal ones. Unfortunately, on the internet, nonverbal cues are not visible, so you don't know she is smiling, blushing, or whatever. I recommend email over winking...say something, if you want a conversation.
Second, lots of guys tend to say inappropriate things in those first emails, things that can scare a girl off real quick. Stranger danger alerts will kick in, if you jump in too fast with inappropriate things. Keep it simple and clean, saying what you would say in real life, if you ran into her. While she may be looking for the man of her dreams, just as you are looking for the girl of your dreams, she is aware of the dangers out there. Take a look at the content when you write.
I see that some men on here don't want to be bothered, but to be honest, if you don't want to be bothered, she won't want to be bothered either. You set the tone by how much you put into it. She will not react well to a hastily scribbled wassup. If you were to meet her somewhere in real life, you would not walk up to her and say what I have seen written many times. You have to make an effort. She can't see your snappy clothing or sexy walk, you will have to make up for all the nonverbal cues that are missing by using language. There is no other way to do it, and any man online that doesn't see that will wind up disappointed. Words, online, count a lot. Take the time to put together a readable sentence, try to spell passingly well, etc. No one is offended at the occasional misspelled word...we all do that. But some of things written beg the question of literacy. Online, literacy is number one. If you want the girl to feel you are serious and really want to talk, then you will have to sound like it, if you want to overcome stranger danger alerts.
I enjoyed reading the posting about the importance of reading her profile. Nothing says you didn't care like never checking out that profile. I can't stress enough what an insult it is when you don't even bother to read it. One person, when I asked about it, said he wrote me based on my picture. Good grief! There were all kinds of red flags he could have avoided if he had bothered to read it.
Last but not least, sometimes they aren't online enough. Sounds odd, but it is true. My computer is broken, and I can't afford to get it fixed at the moment. This means I have to go to the library, where the time is very limited, if I can get a computer at all. I have to compete with all the gamer teens that are also in line for one, and believe me, there are a lot more of them than one would think. After school is out, there is no computer available. Once you do get one, you only have it for an hour. During that one very fast hour, you have to get through your email and other stuff you have to do. Getting to a letter in a dating site may take a while. There is a man that actually wrote me, that I intend to write, but getting the time to do it...well, I'm using it up right here. LOL. Which is why you won't see me saying much usually. I have a life, it is a good one, and it matters. It is an effort to get online. Don't be upset if your letter has not received a reply right away. I write one nice person about once a month, if I am lucky. He is just as busy, so we see each other maybe once a year. We are friends, and our friendship does not depend on seeing each other all the time. That does not make it less a friendship. In fact, we spent one Christmas together. I wrote first, he responded with great effort, and I wrote back. It took about 3 letters, but then I invited him to join my family for the holiday, since he had no plans. After 3 letters, and all the effort he had to put forth (his English was a bit rough) to try and communicate with me, I decided he had to be on the up and up, and took the plunge. He is a very nice guy, and I am glad he wrote back. But, very important, we still don't get to write very often. Our lives slow everything way down.
Of course, some folks are just looking for a bit of flash on the arm, but don't let that bother you. People who are caught up in chemistry and beauty are not looking at reality...they must think the internet will show you what a person really looks like. Don't forget the all important truth, the nonverbal stuff is missing. What makes a person charming, likeable, etc. is mostly nonverbal stuff. One man said, after spendilng some time with me, "Your picture doesn't really look like you. You really look much younger." LOL. Once you see the nonverball stuff, it changes how a person looks. In real life, you will have the nonverbal stuff, so talking about chemistry makes more sense. But online, it is all ridiculous...chemistry can only be decided upon when the chemicals come together.
Hope that helps. By the way, I am from Michigan, but my long replies may not be what you are looking for either. Keep that in mind, too. You may wind up with a real talker! | |
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| Why don't any one in Michigan reply when you send mail on here
Posted: 2/12/2007 2:57:05 PM | I have to say that I am guilty of not responding to e-mails. Alot of the time I forgot that I wa on this site and when I had a quick minute I checked. It just gets to be difficult responding and then overwhelming. I do choose the people that I find attractive (don't act like you didn't message me because of the same thing) and then look at the profile. Alot of people have little things that I just am not looking for and when you say that they still want to keep trying to change your mind. I do not have alot of time to sit and type.
I realize it is just as difficult on this site as it is anywhere that you go. If people were more open to being friends if things don't work out it would make it a little easier. They say that and then I guess change their mind, therefore making people more apprehensive.
It is amazing how many people message though depending on the pic and then they always want to see more!! When you get to know me then maybe I would take the time to send more pics. It's still going to be me!!
Alot of people also take you as being mean because you know what works for you. I just dont' have alot of time and I am probably on-line an hour a day if that. It's hard enough making time for my family and friends as it is let alone trying to be friends with everyone that meassages me. Sorry.
This is just my opinion. | |
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| Why don't any one in Michigan reply when you send mail on here
Posted: 5/1/2007 4:09:59 PM | Ayibobo, my postings were not intended to harm or offend anyone intentionally and were not directed at anyone in particular, however if feel insulted it must have struck a chord in you, you must be guilty of some of the things that I have mentioned or this shouldn't have bothered you.
I didn't start this thread, I just added my 2 cents. The ironic thing is how many people that have gotten defensive over this subect. I have been out on a number of dates and ended up being friends, friends because the people didn't represent themselves as they truly are or I would not have wasted my time going on a date with them.
I don't know how you can consider my response to be rather sexist. If you are not guilty of something, then why should you spend time to defend it? | |
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| Why don't any one in Michigan reply when you send mail on here
Posted: 7/2/2007 1:45:54 PM | While I answer every email I receive, I have a hard time responding to "Hi" and there's nothing else said. It gives you absolutely no idea of whether or not the person has read your profile or just looked at your photo. I find it much easier to respond to an email when the person goes to the effort to begin a conversation.
Lady | |
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| Why don't any one in Michigan reply when you send mail on here
Posted: 7/3/2007 7:06:30 PM | | Hi. I reply to every email that I get ans I am from Michigan. But I politely rpyed 4 times to a 62 yr. old man who was trying to date me and I was very nice to him and told him that I was looking for someone closer to my own age and he insulted me and then blocked me so that I could not reply to his insult, so to be honest , a couple of more times like that and I will stop responding. | |
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| Why don't any one in Michigan reply when you send mail on here
Posted: 7/9/2007 6:15:38 PM | The whole thing is pretty hilarious if you step back from it a bit. There has to be enough material in just this topic for several anthropology papers.
I assume there are factors we just don't realize at the gut level. The big one may be the gender ratio here. Of those women who do reply (and even initiate contact) here I can't tell you how many just disappear and come back months later. Then if pressed confess they "cyber dumped" you for a fancy lad who later did them wrong. Of course you're expected to deal with all of their renewed distrust of men and relationships. Like I'm their personal Ann Landers, or whipping boy, or what?
Then the ones who keep sending emails but never more than a line or three. But they want a book about you each time around. I wonder if they read 'em at all though because the same questions arise over and over.
Or the ones who can hardly be bothered to write because they're so busy with kids, parents, pet emergencies, etc. Forget having time to meet either. But "please write back" and "thanks for being my friend." The best part? Usually they have "Not Looking For Talk/Email" in their mail settings. LOL Why are these women even here?
Maybe instead of those "Bag Yer Millionaire" site ads they have here they ought to show ads for "Desperate Eunuch Pen-Pals." Or maybe just post a "Prison Pen-Pals" list of lonely-tattooed-guys-behind-bars email addresses.
So there's a whole spectrum from not replying to wasting your time to (I assume) legitimate contacts. | |
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| Why don't any one in Michigan reply when you send mail on here
Posted: 7/14/2007 11:56:44 AM | Why don't any one in Michigan reply when you send mail on here
OK its time to quit whining, first off you need to learn how to compose a sentence before you send email.
I make a lot of typo's, spell wrong at times, ect but you may not be getting responses because of your grammer.
Shouldn't it be "Why doesn't anyone in Michigan reply when you send them email on here" ??? | |
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Osmium
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Joined: 6/3/2007
Msg: 150 | |
| Why don't any one in Michigan reply when you send mail on here
Posted: 7/20/2007 7:20:05 PM | I have not been on here that long but, no guy asking this question has emailed me. In all fairness you may not be able to get past my restrictions either. Here is the way I feel about it though: If you take the time to write I will take the time to answer, even with poor grammar. If you are a perv you will be blocked. I have my email settings to 50+ characters to avoid just getting a hi. If the message is real short I will just ask them how they are doing and tell them to take care and have a great week.
Just my two cents.
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