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 oohlala21
Joined: 11/28/2008
Msg: 251
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Are women afraid of Attractive guys?Page 11 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
Yeah definitely.

If there's a guy who I think is more attactive than me showing interest, I assume he just wants sex.

While we're hooking up, I have trouble making eye contact with him.

I assume he's not really that into me. I think maybe he's even getting turned off by looking at me.

But I lust after them all the same...

I do tend to steer clear of showing affection towards guys who are good-looking and who clearly know it themselves, though. I figure there's nowhere to go from there but heartbreak. And if they already have all the women in the viscinity worshipping them, they hardly need it from me too...
 haywiresue
Joined: 9/27/2006
Msg: 252
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Are women afraid of Attractive guys?
Posted: 2/22/2009 2:00:52 PM
I have no problem meeting/dealing with attractive men. I judge every man on his own merits. The most important thing to me after the initial attraction that caught my attention of the man, is his character. I believe that the nicer the wrapping, the greater the gift. However, I have noticed that some (not all and please do not take offence to this) of the most attractive people, men and women, have egos that I cannot deal with, are extremely high maintenance, or have a lot of self-esteem or insecurity issues, that do not interest me. To me I have found different qualities about men that I find attractive and looks are further down the list. I believe that attraction/beauty is definitely in the eye of the beholder and I want someone who can appreciate me for the beauty/attractiveness in see in them, while they appreciate and sees all the beauty in me.
 dutchesofsyr2
Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 253
Are women afraid of Attractive guys?
Posted: 2/22/2009 2:17:13 PM
I have dated good looking men,and i found that they were more nervous than i was.There like mice ........threir more afraid of you then you are of them.
 romeo ferrari
Joined: 11/30/2008
Msg: 254
Are women afraid of Attractive guys?
Posted: 2/22/2009 6:29:30 PM
Maybe they don't know they are attractive if they are nervous? Maybe girls are too intimidated to compliment them as much as someone who's more average looking?
I don't know. Can you really tell if your good looking anyway?

I'm in deep thought now.
 footballmom77
Joined: 1/5/2009
Msg: 255
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Are women afraid of Attractive guys?
Posted: 2/22/2009 7:31:52 PM
Heck no I'm not affraid of attractive guys. Well, I am if they are like strangers in a car next to me, lol. But other than that, good looking people are human too :-)
 CarefreeHighway
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 256
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Are women afraid of Attractive guys?
Posted: 2/22/2009 8:43:52 PM
I find it interesting how many of the women responding to this post automatically assume that if a man is very good looking he is most likely stuck on himself. How do you know he is stuck on himself without talking to him first. Don't tell me you just can tell because that is just Bulls**t. They maybe covering up for insecurity and fear by acting arrogant. I was shy when I was younger but I didn't always come off that way. I have known some women that I became acquainted with tell me that before they met me they thought that I was stuck on myself but after meeting me found that wasn't the case.

On the other hand, I have noticed that many American women would rather pull out their teeth rather than approach a man that interested them in a public place due to fear of rejection. It's too bad because a lot of men, average and good looking alike are just as insecure as women about making the approach. And because of that we miss out on meeting new people.
 2nd_Chakra
Joined: 11/21/2007
Msg: 257
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Are women afraid of Attractive guys?
Posted: 2/22/2009 10:27:42 PM

I find it interesting how many of the women responding to this post automatically assume that if a man is very good looking he is most likely stuck on himself. How do you know he is stuck on himself without talking to him first. Don't tell me you just can tell because that is just Bulls**t. They maybe covering up for insecurity and fear by acting arrogant.


It sounds like "he" and "they" is actually referring to YOU. Why not own it if that's your experience? Are you someone who is often perceived as a supermodel type guy who coasts on his looks?




On the other hand, I have noticed that many American women would rather pull out their teeth rather than approach a man that interested them in a public place due to fear of rejection. It's too bad because a lot of men, average and good looking alike are just as insecure as women about making the approach. And because of that we miss out on meeting new people.


I agree.
 VITAMIN-J
Joined: 2/18/2009
Msg: 258
Are women afraid of Attractive guys?
Posted: 2/22/2009 10:32:59 PM
DAM! after readin this i think im gonna get fat! might make things easier for me lol
 oohlala21
Joined: 11/28/2008
Msg: 259
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Are women afraid of Attractive guys?
Posted: 2/22/2009 10:42:31 PM
Eh... I don't think you good-looking guys need to be so concerned.

In my observation really good-looking guys still get more attention from women, on average, than joe schmoe... Now I suppose it's possible that if they're used to that attention, they don't notice it, but well, go cry me a river...
 CarefreeHighway
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 260
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Are women afraid of Attractive guys?
Posted: 2/22/2009 11:01:56 PM
Well you tell me Heart_Chakra; Do I look like a super model guy who just coasts off his good looks? As far as my reference to "he and "they", I was referring more to the original post but there have been times in my past where that was true for me as well. Personally, I have always found that looks will only take you so far in life; It's brains and hard work that get you ahead in the long run.
 albino22
Joined: 1/19/2009
Msg: 261
Are women afraid of Attractive guys?
Posted: 2/23/2009 6:28:56 AM
Naw, they don't seem to be that afraid of me.
 MichelleDRB
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 262
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Are women afraid of Attractive guys?
Posted: 2/23/2009 7:02:48 AM
This woman isn't afraid of attractive guys. This woman luvs attractive guys. The more attractive, the better.
 Kirota
Joined: 10/21/2008
Msg: 263
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Are women afraid of Attractive guys?
Posted: 2/23/2009 7:33:45 AM
Why would anyone be afraid to date anyone because of looks?

I mean do men not date a great girl because he doesn't think his friends will think she is hot enough. Aren't we all a little bit too old to date based on looks?
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 264
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Are women afraid of Attractive guys?
Posted: 2/23/2009 7:44:42 AM
Afraid to date them? No
Willing to give them a chance? Yes
Had much luck dating very attractive men? Not really
 Brannddy
Joined: 11/19/2008
Msg: 265
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Are women afraid of Attractive guys?
Posted: 2/23/2009 8:35:38 AM
*****

OP,

No, not at all. But most of them end up being only that good looking and not much beyond that.

I think this works opposite for some men.
 Seaside2010
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 266
Are women afraid of Attractive guys?
Posted: 2/23/2009 9:00:07 AM
I find that they are, and sometimes a little suspicious, I have often gotten the why are you still available line!
 MikeM1968
Joined: 11/3/2007
Msg: 267
Are women afraid of Attractive guys?
Posted: 2/23/2009 9:44:00 AM
That's funny, I've gotten that "why are you still available" line also. "I can't believe you're single" etc., etc.

What an ego boost that was!!! LOL

See, I'm not down on my looks, however I also don't believe I'm the greatest looking man on the planet either. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

The messed-up thing is people attach other stereotypes to appearance as-well.

I've been with women who acted like I would *hurt* them or something. Like they were fearful of me. Sometimes when I consider that, I can see in my own reflection that I can almost seem *mean - scary - sadistic* looking. I mean, I have a few *battle scars* (from times I hurt myself), and age lines and wrinkles around the eyes, etc., etc. I shave my head because it looks better than male pattern baldness to me. So they may interpret me from appearance alone as some sort of criminal type - abusive - serial killer - just from my looks. I have no tattoos though.

In reality I'm like the biggest puppy dog - push-over type guy I know.

The messed-up part is that when people act like I'm going to do something harmful to them, they can almost push me into a place where I feel threatened or like getting mean. I don't, but I've been with a few who acted like they were always ready for me to hit them or something like that. I'm just not like that. I never could understand that.

I suppose we all do it to some degree. It's just sad that people attach stereotypes based upon looks. We can never really know how other people *see* us. As in my case, I've gotten *some ideas* from gauging some peoples odd behavior and bizarre reactions. I could only guess in many cases that these were based solely on looks, or on personal mental/emotional issues they had within themselves. Sometimes it helps to know so we can be better equipped to correct such misinterpretations about us. It also helps to know what is functional and use it!!

Mike
 duane Burnett
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 268
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Are women afraid of Attractive guys?
Posted: 2/23/2009 1:46:54 PM
Yes I think it is true for both genders, really good looking people can intimidate and make people act stupid and small too.
 Jsounds
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 269
Are women afraid of Attractive guys?
Posted: 2/23/2009 1:49:57 PM
I wouldn't know.
 wild heart
Joined: 10/14/2007
Msg: 270
Are women afraid of Attractive guys?
Posted: 2/23/2009 1:56:01 PM

I find it interesting how many of the women responding to this post automatically assume that if a man is very good looking he is most likely stuck on himself.


Unfortunately for some of us, men and women included, we have had experience with the hot guy/hot girl vs the average/attractive/cute man/woman and unfortunately the hot man/woman was always full of ego.....


On the other hand, I have noticed that many American women would rather pull out their teeth rather than approach a man that interested them in a public place due to fear of rejection. It's too bad because a lot of men, average and good looking alike are just as insecure as women about making the approach. And because of that we miss out on meeting new people.


I do it all the time. In person, it works. Online, so far ZERO. But I'm not American either LOL
 RidTransFat
Joined: 1/3/2009
Msg: 271
Are women afraid of Attractive guys?
Posted: 2/23/2009 8:05:35 PM
Yeah. Intimidated and wouldn't trust them.
 liliginger
Joined: 1/3/2009
Msg: 272
Are women afraid of Attractive guys?
Posted: 2/23/2009 8:05:53 PM
Yeah...I guess that "high-school crush" syndrome thing. I feel that a very attractive man would probably hang out "for a joke" but be on his way when a pretty piece of fluff walks on by.
 RubyT
Joined: 3/14/2005
Msg: 273
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Are women afraid of Attractive guys?
Posted: 3/8/2009 1:31:01 PM
Hey there! I question this myself. You are right about one thing 'carefree highway'. I think some of us do stereotype guys into that category of "Oh, I'm good-looking so I'm sure I wouldn't be interested in THAT average (or not-so-average) chick." I have found myself having an interest and have always been afraid to approach a guy. Not only have I made this assumption about some men, but unfortunately, have been proven right. Sorry, a lot women have, more time than we'd care to express. You show me a guy who hasn't been raised or conditioned by himself or society to believe women should all look like models and all be thin & pretty and I'll ask him out! ................Still waiting! UH, YEAH.........DUH! So NO, is it not always "bulls**t"!

JUST A TIP: (to all men who are NOT in this category): MOST women are not "arrogant" about it. WE REALLY ARE AFRAID. Would rather not waste the energy on being rejected because were are not AS "good-looking" on the OUTSIDE. Which ALSO DOES NOT MEAN WE have low-self-esteem. We just know we cant "physically" compete for your attentions with the bottle blondes with fake fingernails, boobs and tans. (Yes, I'm SURE they're all lovely)

NOT ALL men are in this category, of course! Therefore, IF you're MEN, who really want to find "something" with "substance", approach US for once.....don't be afraid yourselves. We want a man anyway, not someone who is afraid as well. I would bet most women would agree, we deserve no less! I think that 'old-fashioned' concept died in the 50's. Another little tip: Some of us are very old-fashioned!...Including myself. I may be interested in you, but I may not approach you because I want to know if you have enough interest in me or think I am worth approaching myself.

I also believe that there are guy who do exist (somewhere on the planet) that are not superficial or into physical appearance as a priority. I also agree with you that we REALLY are missing out on meeting some pretty cool people because of it. People we/they judge just because we simply do not know them personally or what it's like to live their lives. All I can say is "Good to all the "NICE" guys and all women who have been interested in them!!!"
 MikeM1968
Joined: 11/3/2007
Msg: 274
Are women afraid of Attractive guys?
Posted: 3/8/2009 1:56:49 PM
I'll relay something else about this as-well. When I was in my late teens all the way through my mid thirties (when I got sober, found god, began to recover and work on myself) I had extremely low self esteem. I married a woman I was NOT attracted to. I'd settle for whoever would have me. I always knew the type I wanted, but I was scared to talk to them. I blew-up all this stuff in my mind about beautiful women based on a few very beautiful but *bad apples*. The ones who really were *full of themselves* - the real arrogant ones. It only took one or two very hot girls in junior high school and high school being mean to me to make me build-up this idea in my mind that all beautiful looking women were mean and arrogant. That didn't just go away by itself.

I didn't get that notion out of my head until I got sober and started working on myself. I saw how un-fair that attitude was towards people. I saw that it was an unreasonable and unrealistic *fear* I had created in my own mind. The only way through to the other side of that *fear* was to face it HEAD-ON. So I started reading some books about relationships, like Men are from Mars Women are from Venus. I began socializing using what I had learned. I began talking to women I am attracted to. I got past that fear. But that was the ONLY WAY to get past it. I had to face it head-on.

Did I suddenly get every woman I'm attracted to to go out with me? HELL NO! I did learn that looks are just looks. I learned that you can't judge a book by it's cover. Stuff I should have learned when I was a teenager or at the latest in my early twenties. I didn't because I was over-committed to a woman I wasn't even attracted to (I.E. desperate) and I was an active alcoholic. I simply never grew-up and matured correctly until I got sober at the age of 34.

I have had some one night stands with some nearly *perfect* looking women whom just were not relationship material. So, I learned that sex isn't the only thing that matters to me. I learned that while I *need* it, I really *want* more than that. Having the perfect looking woman on my *arm* isn't everything to me. I want someone that'll be there tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, etc., etc.

Now I don't go after every *hot looking* woman I see, I'm also not afraid to step-up to a woman who does catch my interest a little more than on the purely physical level.

I had to face it first though.

Mike
 theforumfiend
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 275
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Are women afraid of Attractive guys?
Posted: 3/8/2009 9:02:36 PM
"No, I'm afraid of guys who go around THINKING they are attractive...."

Are you referring to some of those men with their shirts off posing in front of the bathroom mirror or cam?

The men in my family tend to be pretty good looking. Some had the moral fiber of a tom cat and played. Others have been men worthy of respect.

I'll use my "little" brother as an example. Many people are surprised to find that we are related - he's that good looking. The man has women throwing themselves at him so he's had opportunities to cheat, but grew up seeing the damage of infidelity and refuses be that type of person.

Also his taste in women cracks me up. He really likes women that most men would pass by - and they always break his heart.
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