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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Why do men think that after only 2 dates.....      Home login  
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 PhyneLiquor
Joined: 4/29/2005
Msg: 51
Becasue if they don't make a move women think thay are Page 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
^^^

Well, I guess it depends on the woman, but..SOME "want" to have sex fairly early on..

Got to read the clues I guess.

It can be a no-win situation for men..

If they make a move, they're "pushy"

If they don't, maybe they're "gay" or "not attracted"...
 PhyneLiquor
Joined: 4/29/2005
Msg: 52
Why do men think that after only 2 dates.....
Posted: 10/14/2005 5:53:42 AM
Agree with arriano, men do want sex..at some point..

They don't ask you out because they want to discuss politics or sports and think you are probably knowledgable on those subjects..

And let's not be TOO 1950-ish here, MOST women do like and enjoy sex, and want it, too..

Let's not try to pretend otherwise..

The difference may be that 'some' men are ready to have it a little faster/sooner than 'some' women are..

I have heard quite a few women actually complain of the OPPOSITE:

"I've gone out with him 3 or 4 times and he won't put out!!"

Now, those are mostly younger women than you (in their 20's) and maybe values have changed a bit, or you are more 'conservative' than average..
 arri
Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 53
Why do men think that after only 2 dates.....
Posted: 10/14/2005 5:59:15 AM
^^^^ Good post --- And I hear “ he hasn’t put out, hasn’t shown that he wants me, hasn’t touched me yet” from women around my age. So, age doesn’t matter.
 PhyneLiquor
Joined: 4/29/2005
Msg: 54
Why do men think that after only 2 dates.....
Posted: 10/14/2005 6:00:40 AM
Rae Mae sounds like a smart, together girl, who knows what she wants & is "real" about life.. and SSD made a very good point, the discussion could have been over after that! :)
 E.Kyro
Joined: 10/3/2005
Msg: 55
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Why do men think that after only 2 dates.....
Posted: 10/14/2005 6:02:30 AM
I saw a study a few years ago that came to the conclusion that 40-50% of men need some emotional attachment before they can be comfortable enough with a woman to actually perform. That's why I laugh at these threads where the women are complaining about men wanting only sex from the first date onwards. Oh well, some myths will never go away.
 PhyneLiquor
Joined: 4/29/2005
Msg: 56
Why do men think that after only 2 dates.....
Posted: 10/14/2005 6:04:56 AM
He probably likes you, is attracted to you, maybe mentally/emotionally to some degree as well as physically..

and he THINKS that you agreed to go out with him on a date because you are physically and/or otherwise attracted to him..

And esspecially that you apparently liked the first date and went on another one..

And could see the possibility of getting it on with him..

OR you never would have agreed to go out with him!!

Come on, isn't it ABOUT TIME we canned the 1950's stereotype that "men are all horndogs"

and women are "little virginal flowers"????
 PhyneLiquor
Joined: 4/29/2005
Msg: 57
Why do men think that after only 2 dates.....
Posted: 10/14/2005 6:07:52 AM
^^^^
Evil Kyro, you are SO RIGHT!!

for me anyway, I MUST like her emotionally & mentally (usually takes a while, to get to know her...)

or I..can't.. (hanging head in shame..)

I just can't DO "casual sex at the drop of a hat"

..Like men are "supposed" to be able to..

Not trying to brag that I'm a big stud that all the ladies are after, but I have had the experience of women "wanting it"..

And *I* wasn't "ready... :(
 unicornfan6
Joined: 10/7/2005
Msg: 58
Why do men think that after only 2 dates.....
Posted: 10/14/2005 6:13:59 AM
You are exactly right. Alot of (certainly not all) guys don't have the same problem as us women with "attachment" after sex. Some women get emotional about such things and if its not mutual, we have hurt feelings. I think most women just want to know that the guy wants to know them for them instead what they can give them. Unless of course it's a mutual understanding from the start. Communicaton and understanding would go along way.

Just my 2cents
 arri
Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 59
Why do men think that after only 2 dates.....
Posted: 10/14/2005 6:25:46 AM
One simple rule, don’t sleep with anyone you don’t want to see again and number of dates you need to go before it is appropriate becomes moot.
 PhyneLiquor
Joined: 4/29/2005
Msg: 60
Why do men think that after only 2 dates.....
Posted: 10/14/2005 6:28:01 AM
^^^

Unicorn: those "2 cents" are quite valuable! :)

Your last sentence says it all..

Some women would be open/honest about it..(RaeMAe sounds like one..)

Others would have to play the age-old "game" :

Men: evil horny 'beasts'/ women: virginal little flowers..

I swear there are women I've been out with who have wanted sex so badly but felt they "couldn't" because of some "rule" Mom or Gramma or the church drilled into their heads..

sexually frustrated , must've had to go home & wear out a few sets of batteries on B.O.B.

I think arriano makes a lot of sense too! K.I.S.S.!!
 soulthing
Joined: 8/13/2005
Msg: 61
Why do men think that after only 2 dates.....
Posted: 10/14/2005 7:02:32 AM
.......Old fashion would be after one date my dear.....
Look for friend than you can say: "no sex".
You know after 10 seconds meeting a guy that you want to have sex with him or not, so say it right away on the first date
 upstandingguy
Joined: 9/6/2005
Msg: 62
Why do men think that after only 2 dates.....
Posted: 10/14/2005 7:59:19 AM
old fashioned or not, we live in a world were whole meals can be cooked in a few minutes, where any knowledge you seek is at your finger tips, just click away, where minutes have been given the value of an hour. every thing comes now, there is no waiting.

another good reason is that in past relationships, this was the norm.

not every guy thinks that sex is a payment for dating you. let us all assume messages get mixed up, and we can simply say "Not Yet". If anyone is persitant to the point of forcefulness they probably have been holding out just to get you in bed. If I don't at least try something I am not that intersted. I however have enough respect to honor the wishes of my date.

remember habit + instinct / time = possible sex after (place your # here) date....it's not wrong, it's not right.

I hope I have said this well enough
 RaeMae
Joined: 9/6/2005
Msg: 63
Why do men think that after only 2 dates.....
Posted: 10/14/2005 9:28:08 PM

SOME people don't sleep with anything that breathes, we have standards, apparently you're not one of them :) That's great that you sleep around but like I said, some of us don't.


How completely and totally typical. Of course a woman who's not exactly like YOU is automatically a whore. It's not men that do this, that purvey this negative stigma about women who actually ENJOY dating and men and life. Women do this to one another. The sad part of it is, I actually feel bad for you. If you have to target someone who dates successfully and call them loose, you are obviously unhappy and insecure in your own dating life. You can go ahead and think that I don't have standards, that I seek only sex, and that I sleep around. Hopefully it made you feel better about yourself and your unfullfilling personal life. Women who enjoy sex and don't misuse it are not whores. They are just honest and uninhibited. How tragic.
 RaeMae
Joined: 9/6/2005
Msg: 64
Why do men think that after only 2 dates.....
Posted: 10/14/2005 9:49:06 PM
And by the way, its very interesting that someone who had a child at 17 is lecturing ME about using discretion in terms of sex.
 JUSTINBOY88
Joined: 5/27/2005
Msg: 65
Why do men think that after only 2 dates.....
Posted: 10/14/2005 9:54:44 PM
i think it all goes back to humen nature and the way people are both wired and raised.if most guys would be honest our idea of a great date would be to go the girls front door,have her meet us in something sexy or nothing at all.i will leave the rest to your imagination,anyway it does not work that way most times and it should not.i have had some nice relationships coming after we had sex on the first date but as i get older i want to know the girl a little better.it could also be that now i have 2 daughters and i want to treat women with the same respect that i would want someone to give my daughters one day when they start dating.oh and by the way they will not date until they are 30
 HB2
Joined: 5/11/2005
Msg: 66
Why do men think that after only 2 dates.....
Posted: 10/14/2005 10:19:28 PM
^^^^^It helps to remember that we're all someone's daughters
 Tick Tock
Joined: 2/27/2005
Msg: 67
Why do men think that after only 2 dates.....
Posted: 10/14/2005 10:32:39 PM
RaeMae...you are wise beyond your years. Keep up the good posts!
 JUSTINBOY88
Joined: 5/27/2005
Msg: 68
Why do men think that after only 2 dates.....
Posted: 10/14/2005 11:01:41 PM
true all ladies are someones daughters
 Vocaleze
Joined: 9/15/2005
Msg: 69
Why do men think that after only 2 dates.....
Posted: 10/14/2005 11:02:59 PM

It helps to remember that we're all someone's daughters


Very, very true... except for those of us who are someone's son.
 Ineedu2
Joined: 10/13/2005
Msg: 70
Why do men think that after only 2 dates.....
Posted: 10/14/2005 11:18:05 PM
This is just my opinion but I think women want sex on the second date too if we are attracted to the man but we are usually too afraid to admit it cuz society tells us that women are not suppose to do things like that. We feel (subconsiously) guilty for wanting sex too soon. Some don't of course but for me personally its better to say no a few times than to be accused of being easy. But then again, we feel the need to keep the guy interested by not giving in too soon. As the old saying goes, you want what you can't have......





Have a nice day!
 PhyneLiquor
Joined: 4/29/2005
Msg: 71
Why do men think that after only 2 dates.....
Posted: 10/15/2005 6:18:03 AM
@ RaeMae (post #64)..

Wow, what honest & insightful thinking.. I'm impressed..

Indeed wise beyond your (young) years..

Will you marry me?

LOL j/k! :)
 soulthing
Joined: 8/13/2005
Msg: 72
Why do men think that after only 2 dates.....
Posted: 10/15/2005 10:14:30 AM
Why you look for longterm instead of Friend?...... Try Friend, you can change youre mind later
 Poorgie
Joined: 9/18/2005
Msg: 73
Why do men think that after only 2 dates.....
Posted: 10/15/2005 10:35:44 AM
doublecabin wrote: Dating means different things to all of us. Make sure you are on the same page and not fueling expectations that will not be met.
I agree by all means. Dating is a time when two people are ready to be married. Sure it is cute to see a couple fifteen year olds out on a "date", they hardly know themselves much less a persons needs. Most nice guys already know how a date is progressing, and a kiss on a date should be the first indication it is going in that direction. All this talk about when you can have sex, why not wait to be married and then have all the sex you want?
 PhyneLiquor
Joined: 4/29/2005
Msg: 74
Why do men think that after only 2 dates.....
Posted: 10/15/2005 10:40:14 AM
^^^

is this post meant to be funny or sarcastic?

You've got to be joking..

wait until you're married..and then find out she's totally not into sex..but you have to stay married to her for life, and never "cheat"..


so you end up with only your own five fingers for consolation..

Mmmm-hmm, OK, where can I sign up?? not...
 coffeeshop_junkie
Joined: 9/18/2005
Msg: 75
Why do men think that after only 2 dates.....
Posted: 10/15/2005 10:43:42 AM
They're used to the girls who are already putting-out before they leave the restaurant on the first date. This area seems to be flooded with them...must be something in the water. Where do the conservative girls live anymore? :)

Jay
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