nuhere
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Joined: 10/22/2005
Msg: 51 | |
| Interracial Dating-Just Curious
Posted: 7/10/2006 10:00:50 PM | I just sort of stumbled across this topic, and even though I have a friend who lives in Denver and loves it, from what she tells me, I dont think I would enjoy dating in Denver(I am from Miami) because from what I am being told and from some of the things I see on this post.... interracial dating doesn't seem to be a positive thing in Denver.
Its natural for people to date OUTSIDE their race. Yes I said it, it is NATURAL for people to date outside their race. It is UNNATURAL for people to strickly date within their race. Understand the key words.... NATURAL and UNNATURAL. People are "conditioned" to date within their own race, it is not natural to do so.
Most people have been so conditioned, they dont even realize they are responding to surroundings. Take kids for instance, Kids rely STRICKLY on the instincts. They haven't had enough experiences in life to formulate an opinion. If you ever watch kids and see how they interact and who they end up liking in an affectionate way(puppy love) you will find that kids NATURALLY fall in puppy love with kids of different races. And for the doubters out there, this doesn't just come from me, there have been COUNTLESS of studies on this all saying the same thing... but I have seen this myself.
People are attracted to their opposities, where do you think the saying OPPOSITES ATTRACT comes from... you dont think someone just pulled that out of the air do you? Within any multicultural area, the more accepting of different cultures, the more interractial dating you have. The more UNACCEPTING an area is of interracial dating the less amount of it you will see. Its about conditioning... most people in life are sheep, they will do whatever they feel the masses want them to do. | |
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nuhere
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Joined: 10/22/2005
Msg: 52 | |
| Interracial Dating-Just Curious
Posted: 7/10/2006 10:21:43 PM | Here is one for you.... Many of you wont believe this, but that is ok. I use to go to strip clubs, I am a people watcher, was never really into getting dances from girls but I figure... if I am going to hang out and have a drink or two after a long day, might as well go to a strip club then a bar.
Anyways, one thing I notice in strip clubs is that we men tend to go after the kind of women we REALLY want in a strip club. Whether we are married, taken, or single and no matter what type of women we persue when we are out and about... when we are in a strip club, we go after the type of women we like.
To all the women out there, if you want to know what type of woman a particular man really wants.... GO TO THE STRIP CLUB and watch who goes after(not which stripper approaches him and he just takes because its available, but instead what stippers HE goes after). You will find there is ALOT of interracial action going on in a strip club. Most black female strippers I know are dating WHITE MEN.. many of the WHITE MEN are married. Most of these white men are married to WHITE WOMEN. Same goes for black guys too, I wont say there names but I know of a few of the MIAMI DOLPHIN players who ARE married who go to a very popular local strip club here in nort miami.... Anytime I see these guys in the strip club they go after WHITE or LATIN WOMEN. Even though, there are plenty of BEAUTIFUL Black women who work at this strip club, they choose to go after white or latina. A friend of mine approached one of the players(wont say his name) one time at the strip club and he said I quote....." This is AMERICA, my preference might be Latin women, but I live in the real world and the real world says I should be with a black woman?
Its all conditioning. Its the reason why the most popular niche on adult websites are interracially based, its the reason why I am constantly told that 99% of white women who DONT date black men fantasize about being with a black man ALL THE TIME, its the same reason when I am in the carribean that numerous wealthy white men travel down there(most of them married)with friends or alone and when they are in the clubs in Jamaica, Trinadad, St. Lucia, etc they chase after black women. Some black women in the carribean are even being taken care of by wealthy white men who live up here in the good ol United States of America.
Yep my friends, its called conditioning. | |
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| Interracial Dating-Just Curious
Posted: 7/11/2006 11:59:17 AM | | HOLY SHI* MAN! Your 100% right. I started this forum a while ago because being a black man in this state, you cannot help but feel like there is negativity when it comes to dating. It feels like most of the women here are as you said “conditioned” to only accept white guys, and more so guys of a certain race with certain attributes. Honestly I’ve always just thought I was hatin’ you know, I don’t think so as much any more. Is Colorado Springs accepting to interracial relationships? Yes, if the black person or person of color you get with is bank rolled. That honestly seems to be the great leveler in this town, the all mighty dollar. Now tell me how wrong I am people because, well honestly that’s what it seem to be about. | |
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| Interracial Dating-Just Curious
Posted: 7/11/2006 3:12:05 PM | My brothers, we must understand that as black men, we are still seen as different from "the norm", so to speak. That is not always a bad thing. In fact, the people that 'are' drawn to us seem to love our differences and our uniqueness as compared to the more.. non-ethnic side of life.
So expect to come across people that are 'conditioned' to believe that it is unnatural to date outside of their race. They are simply people that have been taught the wisdom that insecure, white males (usually) wanted them to have from their childhood onward.
The point of this post is, TRY not to take it personally. If a person doesn't want to date a particular race, why be insulted as if she isn't into you as a person? She is simply a closed-minded individual that has not been able to grow from tradition and/or conditioned ideas and thought patterns
And also, be glad that times are changing to where race, no matter what area or aspect of life, doesn't matter. You may not see it as much if you are in your 20's and above. But believe me, teenagers and younger children are most certainly not as hung up on the race thing as the older individuals. White and black teenagers are hanging out, dating one another, as well as all of the other races in-between. Take solace, brothers, that times are changing, but let us NEVER forget that we have beautiful, black women that such things would not be an issue.
P.S.
Do you guys date black women? Just curious. As for me, the ethnic make-up of a woman alone doesn't determine my decision. | |
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| Interracial Dating-Just Curious
Posted: 9/6/2006 9:43:33 AM | Personally, I find lighter skin more attractive. I've tried to learn Spanish, but have no head for foreign languages (I struggled through four years of French in college). My dating interests, when lead by attraction, have always been white women. I am also attracted to Asian women, and some Native Americans. Outside of dating, I've got friends (and relatives) of nearly every color or culture. Honestly, I'm more likely to disallow someone as a friend for religious differences than skin tones.
For interracial dating, I'm fine with it... but it's not for me. | |
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| Interracial Dating-Just Curious
Posted: 9/16/2006 6:50:38 PM | | Well,as a "child" of interracial parents I did find your observations silly. A wise person dictates his own life. He does not have to choose a "culture". There is no such thing as a "black", "white" or any other culture in the US. Culture around the world is becoming very different but the real denominator is wealth and class. That has always been those that have and those that don't. Wealth brings choices. Fame and wealth bring advantages of entre to a society that is "unseen". I see there is much observation of the human condition that has been ignored by your comments. It you want a child to feel an outsider treat him as one and teach your children to do the same. Race is an issure to you. I suggesst talking to the man in the mirrior and get yourself straight for it isn't "them" who has problems it is you! | |
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| Interracial Dating-Just Curious
Posted: 3/28/2007 11:00:36 PM | other then ones own personal atractions....... who cares? people are all relatively the same, some good, some bad. peoples tastes come in all different packages and unless your dating somebody based solely on that one thing and could care less what kind of person they are there is no wrong answer here. hell even if your white and will only date black chicks, thats not worng either, hell why limit it to just color, why not wieght, eye color, hieght and anything else. whats it really matter what others do? we date who we date for whatever reason we date them and thats just how it is. just becuase we don't agree with somebody else doesn't make them wrong.
ok the kkk and neonazi's are kinda wrong but thats a different topic there. | |
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| Interracial Dating-Just Curious
Posted: 4/2/2007 5:17:50 AM |
Hey all here! I just wanted to know your feelings about interracial dating. Just wanted to hear what people in this city have to say about this issue. I think its beautiful myslef, but all opinions are welcome and encouraged! So talk away! I'd really great for Women talk about their opinions about this issue in particular but whatever works!
I'm like this... it really shouldn't matter, but I guess people have their preferences. In my opinion, it makes more sense for their to be a 'general' racial preference, but it not be written in stone. Like, if a person is "generally" attracted to a certain race, that's all well and good, but I find it hard to believe that people have NEVER found at least one person from every race attractive. Even women that wouldn't date black dudes would probably at least find them ole Denzel Washington or LL Cool J type brothas attractive, but I digress.
In my area, I email every race, but not alot of black females are on this site and either the white chicks that I email don't dig brothas or my height is an issue. I find it hard to believe it's "just me" in ALL cases. | |
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| Interracial Dating-Just Curious
Posted: 5/3/2007 10:20:47 AM | I think a big part of your struggle may be your location, in that Colorado Springs is pretty heavy on the fake/excessively conservatively religious/extreme income extremes with a smaller middle ground and such.
I find it hard to meet very many black men. I have a preference in men for people at least as tall as I am, which minimizes the number of asians and hispanics that really work for me, but those are most of the ethnicities I meet on an average day that aren't white.
My mother was from Arkansas and she was a prejudiced loon. She used to talk in hushed tones of pity and disgust about children of mixed race. At one point I got up from my grandmother's table in disgust because she was talking about the day the "s" came to the "real" school as though it was a travesty. If anyone was "conditioned" not to like black people, my sisters and I were.
But my sister was involved with a black man for quite a while. And I have flirted with probably the majority of black men I have ever known and at least one black woman. It's never turned into anything for me, but it isn't because I don't find black men attractive.
There are probably a lot of people out there who reject a person on sight for a lot of crazy reasons. They get what they pay for, if you will. Most of them aren't really very happy people because so much of their lives are based on appearances.
If they judge you for your skin and can't find beauty in the looks of people right in front of them, are they really someone who would be worth dating long term anyway? In my own life, I have a similar pattern with people only interested in skinny women. I look at it this way; I have the easiest test in the world for whether this person is worth knowing at all because they will either be shallow enough to reject me on sight, or deep enough to look for more than that. In some sense, I think it makes it easier to find a right person to be involved with rather than lots of broken hearts a few months into a relationship when such realities would otherwise be discovered.
Don't assume conditioning is everything and don't assume there aren't white women out here who adore some black men's looks. | |
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| Interracial Dating-Just Curious
Posted: 5/4/2007 1:35:33 PM |  We may have come on different ships, but we're all in the same boat now. 
United States citizens are all the same race. The FDA helped speed things up.
I have a hard time excepting Texans; thou my sister is one .
I refuse to restrict myself to one shade of fruit.
You gotta love an open mind
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| Interracial Dating-Just Curious
Posted: 5/8/2007 12:48:56 AM |
But my sister was involved with a black man for quite a while. And I have flirted with probably the majority of black men I have ever known and at least one black woman. It's never turned into anything for me, but it isn't because I don't find black men attractive. Goatgirl, how has your mother handled this? | |
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| Interracial Dating-Just Curious
Posted: 7/11/2007 12:49:08 PM |
Is everyone who posts replys here Jewish.Catch my drift.
yes I catch the 'drift' ..
fairly obvious to anyone with IQ >70
hundreds of thousands of Americans and others died to defeat people who thought like you do, 1939-1945 | |
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| Interracial Dating-Just Curious
Posted: 7/24/2007 8:24:35 AM | In answer to Genrae's question about my mother:
My mother is a very broken individual for a variety of different reasons. All of my sisters and I have different ways that we deal with her generally. I was the oldest and as such I tended to fight with her more as a kid, and as an adult I just don't give a do-diddly-da*n if she approves of my life or not. She is the sort of person who can't stand to not have some bit of control over people, so she initially tries to interfere and when that never works anymore, she gets super nice about the subject to try to get some other aspect of control. It never works. I have been onto her routine for years now.
I know this is how she would handle a black man/woman in my life because it is how she handled the fact that I am poly and bi and thus share my life with two people already, one male, one female. And there are other details too. It's always the same pattern.
As for my sister literally, she dealt with it the way she has always dealt with my mother, which is to say that she just never told her. We all tend to avoid her much of the time anyway, and she's willing to not see what she doesn't like in front of her for quite a while, just fearing it in secret. So my sister used that. If it had been the right relationship long term, I hope she would have borrowed a page from my book and made herself happy and ignored our mother's opinions and lack of support. But since it didn't have the makings of a lifetime relationship, I can't say for sure what she would have done.
I am a very firm believer that the people who really love you will support your happiness. They may struggle with some details at first as they figure out what they need to do with themselves, but in the end, if they can't support real happiness, wherever you find it, they have chosen not to count themselves as family to you, and you might as well move them out of that category yourself and find more supportive people to call family.
My mother was very emotionally abusive when I was a child, and has proven again and again that she cannot really support my happiness. She can sometimes be quiet and pretend to be nice about it for a while. So I don't consider her my family at this point. She meant well, she thinks she does the right thing, but she does not earn my respect, nor respect me, so she can't be inside my inner circle emotionally. Skin color is just one of many subjects about which this is true.
Does that answer your question? | |
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| Interracial Dating-Just Curious
Posted: 7/28/2007 5:44:11 PM | | I am all for it. It's the person that counts, not the skin color. If you go through life judging everyone by the way they look, you're gonna miss out on a lot of godd friendships. | |
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| Interracial Dating-Just Curious
Posted: 11/15/2007 11:43:47 AM | I have so much to say to so many of the 'posters' on this subject... I am the mother of 4 multiracial children. I was a bit scared b4 I had any of them because of what people told me would happen....the biases they would face. My own father even threatened to disown me!!! That never happened and the only issues my kids have ever had was people assuming they know spanish because of their skin color...lol!!
I have dated throughout the color spectrum (me being a caucasian american mutt). I have no issues with color, just issues with negative attitudes and closed minds! I have raised my kids accordingly.
I personally prefer darker men but it is not a requirement. I seem to have more in common with them usually. If we would just see ourselves as the rest of the world does.....as Americans....the racial divisions some people feel would eventually be eliminated. In the words of a famous(infamous?) man..."Can't we all just get along?"  | |
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IRocky
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Joined: 7/22/2007
Msg: 68 | |
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| Interracial Dating-Just Curious
Posted: 2/21/2008 6:24:55 AM | I have dated many races but I prefer white & hispanic. I know everyone bleeds red but it's my preference. My ex husband is white and his mom HATED me, racist so with that and other crap in our marriage it didn't work out.  | |
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| Interracial Dating-Just Curious
Posted: 4/2/2008 5:21:32 PM | Im all for it!
I think youre severely limiting yourself if you choose to only date one race. I dont like to think about race too much when it comes to dating because its so much more thats involved then just a person's skin color. Only people that have a problem with it is the people on the outside of the interracial relationship. Which can really mess up a person's judgment because they have people from all angles telling them that its not right.
But as far as myself, I have always been attracted to the lighter women. Whether light skinned, mixed or hispanic. Being from FL, dating white women was kinda looked down on and still is just not as much. After moving to Colorado Springs in 2000 while I was in the military, I finally got around to dating white women I found that I actually had alot more in common with them and thats pretty much been my main preference ever since then.
Since I moved back here last May, Ive found it really difficult to get any interest from a decent white woman . From my experiences it seems like they go for black guys for 2 reasons, because they like how thuggish they are or because they might be a little overweight or "curvy" and the white guys wont look at em. Leaving the average, middle of the road black guy always being overlooked. Now Im not trying to down anybody, but thats just how it looks from my perspective! | |
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| Interracial Dating-Just Curious
Posted: 4/12/2008 4:32:50 PM | drewmoney,
So, let me guess.... with all the african-american wome in the military, you had NOTHING in common with them?? just curious | |
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