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| Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ?
Posted: 8/9/2006 6:54:25 PM | Yes. If I didn't believe there were good men left, I would have lost all hope and sometimes hope is all one can have.
Good men are out there, just as there are good women out there...It just takes time finding one another.. | |
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| Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ?
Posted: 8/10/2006 2:54:26 AM | I think there probably are but at our age (I'm 40 and speaking for my age group) alot of men come with so much hurt and baggage that it takes forever to get through to the good parts. I've met a few very good men, dated awhile, would have married them in a heart beat too... but they were still recovering from divorces- which left me alone holding the bag so to speak-- they only wanted to get so close-- leaving me always at arms length. I could try to wait it out for a good man, i.e wait for them to heal and hang in there...but Im not getting any younger and so the waiting game isnt as plausible as it used to be. But thats life--I guess-- its easier to fall in love when we're younger-- we're more hopeful, less scarred and often times -on some levels- are less set in our ways about what we need in a partner. Dating as older folks is miserable-- we're too picky, I fear -- always our guard up, worrying about watching our backs, etc... not a bad thing in itself- to be cautious- but it just starts to get old after awhile... I wish I could meet more good men whose hearts were open --- who loved with more passion, and more risk.
Thats about all I have to say on this.... MJS | |
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| Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ?
Posted: 8/10/2006 3:02:27 AM | I KNOW there are still some good guys out there...many of my buds are really great guys, and some are still single...and I found a great one for myself, originally from on this site! Don't give up hope people...patience and not jumping into the pond so quick can land you in la-la land! Best of luck and happy  !!! | |
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hc2255
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Joined: 7/26/2006
Msg: 455 | |
| Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ?
Posted: 8/14/2006 5:49:40 PM | We're not at bars because we don't drink a lot, don't care for the smoke, and don't need the rejection from the 25 yr olds we inevitably are drawn to. We are not at book signings because we read enough during the day. We are not at coffee houses because we don't want to be there alone nor are we at other trendy places.
We may be at the community pool if we don't have one in our yard. You will not be there at the same time.
We may be at the airport waiting for a flight to someplace cool. But unfortunately you will be seated 5 rows back and will never see nor meet us.
We may be your doctor, your lawyer, your veterinarian or your accountant, but you will never approach us because you feel you are not good enough; we never approach because we think it's "unprofessional."
Some of us are arbitrarily or summarily cut off -- "I would never date a _________?"
I was in a courtroom the other day and there was a lot of estrogen present - 3 prosecutors, the judge and both probation officers. I would never date a prosecutor or a probation officer -- so I do it too. | |
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| Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ?
Posted: 8/14/2006 6:12:28 PM | I make every effort to be a good man. I'm courteous, I make an effort to listen, I ask many questions. I have no debts, and everything going for me except knowing someone to be my lifelong friend other than myself. Still my social life is very much on the light end compared to some people. I do hike and have joined vegetarian, photography, single volunteer groups, and frisbee playing groups and go out to take Yoga. What really bugs me is how many women think that the only good man will be Mr. Right. The man they don't have to change at all to please, and the man who doesn't have to change at all to please them. It doesn't work that way. And until some woman come forward and realize that to build a relationship both sides need to compromise, and both sides need to lack fear to approach the other, it is going to be hard for some of us who don't know how else to meet people. God knows I try to be sociable. But when I do, it comes across clumsily, since I lack much experience in doing that. Being good is in the eye of the beholder. All I ask is for one woman to see me beyond the surface. I'm more than willing to do the same for her.
Oh and unlike HC, I do go to a coffee bar every morning. Still waiting to find someone who is looking my way. | |
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Ahhh!
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Joined: 3/11/2006
Msg: 458 | |
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| Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ?
Posted: 8/14/2006 7:49:41 PM | | i think a "good man" is different for every woman...we don't all like the same things, or hate the same things either...ok so honnesty and respect are a must for most women to consider and man to be a "good guy" but besides that, we all have different criteria...that's what makes life interesting, if we all thought the same men were the "good guy" it would be war...it's not about finding the perfect person but the perfect person for you...and when you find that "good guy" he wont be without faults but he will make you happy...that's your "good guy" | |
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| Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ?
Posted: 8/14/2006 8:28:44 PM | The inherent nature of mankind is to be "Good". So, inherently, we are all good...Men and Women alike. It is abberation and disorders and sometimes organic brain problems which turn us Bad.
The solution: For me (and I know it would work for anybody) get into a good recovery program and actually do some Honest pro-active work at dredging up and eradicating (managing) our abberations! I say... quit complaining and blaming and start doing. And the ONLY thing we have any power to do in this life is work on Ourselves. I know that sounds pretty bad on the surface... but in truth, it is a good thing. Designed by the Creator himself.
And.... tuning in your personal radar so it can detect (early on) abberations and disorders in others is the secret to protecting ourselves from those who can't or won't 'do the work'!
Yes... there are plenty of "Healthy" men out here...[and that is the real term], but if you can't recognize them, you won't find them. | |
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| Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ?
Posted: 8/15/2006 11:23:29 PM | | I know exactly why us rare and few "good" men cant get an honest shot at true romance. It's because 90% of single women have been so mistreated from a past relationship that they are through giving chances to the actual good guys. A bad seed has blown our chance at romance. Hell I've been searching these sites trying to find a girl who is willing to give me a fair shot but I still come up with nothing. If you can find 1 girl out there who hasn't been screwed over by a guy in a messed up relationship then she's either dead and never had a chance at romance or Mother Theresa. | |
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| Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ?
Posted: 8/16/2006 2:04:17 PM | You know what, I am good and I 'm still out there so am hoping there are some men left too...
Its just a case of kissing a few frogs til you find your prince...wish mine would hurry up and find me though cos am getting sick of the frogs !!! | |
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| Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ?
Posted: 8/16/2006 2:28:39 PM | Interesting question, but needs more definition. Define "good men". I think there are lots of good men left. But not all good men are for all good women, or we wouldnt be on here!! Each one of us likes what we likes. We have preferences. We have dislikes. Etc., etc.
What is a good man to me, may not be a good man to another woman. It's finding our own good man or woman that is the issue.
I don't get offended if I am not someones "type" but many do. I don't like some looks, as we all don't like some looks. I don't like some things about people, others don't like some things about me. That is why I have a picture up. It's one hard thing to tell someone once you get their picture, that you aren't attracted to their looks. I hate being put in that position! I would rather know upfront, thus my own pics are up. More than one is good too!
I don't want a god.. hell no.. but I do want someone I can say, " I would kiss that face." about!
I'm not being picky.. but I do have goals and ideals I would like someone else to have somewhat at least. Those things are what you build a life on, and things important enough should be discussed! I want my next relationship to last a lifetime, and if you don't screen out the stuff you know you cant do, or tolerate in someone else, and overlook these things for something else, you will be in trouble down the road.
Just my two cents for what it's worth!
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| Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ?
Posted: 8/16/2006 2:29:43 PM | Yes I know there are good men left. There may have not been a physical attraction with them. But they are good men. Anyways if there were no good men left then there is no hope for human kind.
Same thing goes for women we are out there. You just may not be physicaly attracted to us.I very much believe that a relationship is as such.
50% Physical attraction
30% Intellectual attraction
20% Do thier bad qualities outweigh thier good.
Well that is my opinion. | |
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| Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ?
Posted: 8/16/2006 3:38:31 PM | Lindy very well said. The are some many great men and women out here and I have found after 40 we are all so much smarter and understanding of our on problems. Still honesty is the primary item but also jealousy can destroy any relationship. The fact that we are looking will lead to occasions where we are "dating" more than one person and if someone can't handle that they need to reconsider where they are in their life. We are always going to have some differances and need to remember that relationships usually bring those differances out. Hopefully we understand we cannot change another person to fit our mold perfectly. If we cannot accept the middle ground then be friends and wish each other the best.
Adrian  | |
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| Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ?
Posted: 8/16/2006 7:13:35 PM | Hey good women, here I am! Over here! [*attempting in vain to whistle loudly]
Oh me, me…yes, me! [*feeling embarrassed because I can’t whistle loudly]
Look over here! [*shooting up a rescue flair]
No, no, over here! [*turning on the garden hose after seeing that the signal flair landed on my roof]
Yes, really. I’m a good one! [*trying to look nonchalant and manly while dowsing the flames]
Here I am!. [*missing a rung on the ladder and falling into the ivy]
Hello cute fishies! [*leaves falling from hair, smelling like smoke]
What? Why are you looking at me like that?
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| Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ?
Posted: 8/16/2006 7:32:18 PM | | Yes, there are probably quite a few. The question is: are they visible, available, and most important, does anybody agree on what constitutes this "good man"? OK, he's probably honest, a communicator of feelings, considerate, thoughtful, reliable, and faithful. He's employed, has some goal orientation, and works at bettering himself. How am I doing so far? As someone who feels he fits the "good man" definition, I find myself wondering, incredulously though, if women are more drawn to the bad boys because they are perceived as exciting in some way. In other words, good men may be viewed as steady but boring, smart but too cerebral, caring but not assertive enough. Yet, women say they want them. It's a conundrum, for sure, and there have been articles that have attempted to explain the bad boy phenomenon. I could see some decent guys becoming frustrated with their "goodness" and attempting to harden themselves because they feel they'll have better chances attracting women! | |
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| Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ?
Posted: 8/16/2006 10:21:20 PM | I know their are good men out here. One of them happens to be my brother; when he was called to fight in Viet Nam, my boyfriend a contractor in charge of building military bases all around the world and in the U.S. offered him an out. He could work in any of the military bases and get a deferrment. My brother felt it was his duty and not fair that someone else would then have to go in his place.
Today his political views have changed, he is wiser now and says he would not want his sons to ever go to war for our corrupt, power abusing goverment. He finally agrees with me, I had urged him to accept the deferrment offered to him by my friend. | |
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daisie
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Joined: 9/22/2004
Msg: 474 | |
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