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| Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ? Posted: 12/4/2006 8:15:08 AM | What I believe is that we can't generalize! Good/Bad/In-between - people are people and I think there are more good then bad. What does that mean LEFT?? All the GOOD men are taken? Dead?? I see tons of good men right here in the forums every day. What we can't expect is PERFECT! Personally, I like a bit of balance - the perfect blend as I call it...where is he??? | |
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Renda
| Joined: 7/24/2005 Msg: 554 | |
| Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ? Posted: 12/4/2006 3:26:59 PM | I think that there must be. It is just that in my age bracket, most of the men, and women as well, have a ton of baggage and crushed dreams. It can be hard for them to trust again. When you are young, you are able to bounce back, and there has not been time enough to go through the trials and tribulations of life. We all become a little jaded, or perhaps just set in our ways. I am willing to open up again to a good man, but at my age, they are hard to find. I basically think that companionship is most imporant when we are older. As far as the young men, I am sure there must be plenty of them out there somewhere. Renda | |
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beate
| Joined: 10/23/2006 Msg: 555 | |
| Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ? Posted: 12/4/2006 3:45:39 PM | Personally I will say no, despite the one or two success stories written about I had the worse experience of my life with a man I met via this very site. He turned out to be very dishonest, a prolific liar and serial dater and is still at it.
We had a very long relationship with a normal progression, chatting on line and on th ephone, then meeting for dinner and drinks across a few months before becoming intimate. We met each others kids etc. etc. He convinced me that he was a good guy, a wonderful man ! All a complete pretence.......He convinced me that I was the one and how much he loved me & I consider myself a strong and intuitive person...............I found out that he has done exactly the same thing to a number of other women who are on this site, even managed to speak to two of them. So in all, I would say be very very careful.
Luckily, I found out just in time and stopped the sale of my house going through as we were meant to be buying a house together. What really saddens me is that I am 100% sure he will carry on.
I think some people are addicted to that first rush/adrenelin buzz from new love and there is a lot of truth in what one of the guys above said in respect of kid in a candy shop syndrome...... where someone like this will always think they can find something/someone better..................... I will not ever be fooled again or meet anyone off a site ever again, I couldn't risk it. I love to chat to people but that is as far as it will ever go again. I think these sites are rife with dangerous predaors and I STRONGLY urge every one to be very careful. Much better to get out in your communnity and meet people face on, however difficult it is and we all know that isn't always easy. | |
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| Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ? Posted: 12/19/2006 4:40:40 AM | Renda- you bring up a good point about the baggage. Here is a spin on it. I know that when i have tended to meet men much younger than i am they do not understand the baggage thing. They believe people like us who have been through the mill of pof can just pick up and start over. The longer i am here the more i am jaded and i am not sure how to get over that. I have been considering perhaps leaving the site for while. Its pretty bad when you meet new people and they can sense the bitterness underneath the sweet stuff. I really hate that i perhaps am becoming that way unknowingly. Any thoughts? Michelle aka lilfish | |
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| Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ? Posted: 12/19/2006 5:05:21 AM | Yes we are out there but we dont do the club thing nor the party animal like drinking, fighting, arguing, etc...I have found my dog to be a better TRUSTED friend..I can depend on him and I DONT have to worry about him leaving me for a better looking more money hungry, corvett driving dunderhead..Loll Really we are here we just mind our own business..Clubs dont cut it...and im thinking the web does not either...So its just a game of timing...where and when is what is at stake. | |
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| Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ? Posted: 12/19/2006 5:33:29 AM | | Yes I believe there are good men left out there but I haven't met one on plentyoffish or singlesnet.com yet so where are they ? Do you believe there are good women left out there? | |
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| Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ? Posted: 12/19/2006 5:59:51 AM | I have gone to hell and back on this site. I am either too big or too small, too smart, too independant, too careful, too active, too picky, too into God, too honest, to trustworthy, too down to earth. I am not looking for what in the wallet I am looking for whats in the heart. But apperently most of these men didn't go to see the wizard of oz to get a heart. They must of lost it or never had one to begin with. And oh my God the lies. I could right a book. Does anyone know how to tell the truth anymore??? I like to go to the forums and I was recently on one to get help with my profile. Well to my surprise I got told by a man that I was a stench pile of human excrament. How lovely. That will sure get you dates lol. What is wrong with people. Have they gone mad? I think having a partner to love and be loved by is one of the greatest joys in life. Who wants to grow old alone and miserable? Why does dating have to be so hard and hurtful? Why do people go on dating sites to just use and abuse people? So to answer the question are there any good men left. I think the aliens took them all lol. No just kidding. They must be out there. How do you tell the difference between a phony and a real genuine nice guy?
bonbons | |
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| Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ? Posted: 12/19/2006 7:29:30 AM | Good men and good women, too, are a sort of cultural myth.
There are only men and women. Good, like beauty, resides in the eye of the beholder.
At young age, there are many potential partners to choose from; sweet, young, and innocent.
After a certain time passes, perhaps 75% have been chosen, and removed from the market.
Think of a large stock of merchandise, say shoes, at a department store. All fresh, shiny, and unblemished.
The best ones are selected early, and the supply diminishes. More are chosen, and fewer remain.
After a while, some are returned, and restocked. The stock becomes picked over.
What is left?
A few overlooked bargains. Some that just don't fit. Others of an unusual style. And some that are not in much demand.
Of course, men and women are not merely merchandise, and we are surely not shoes.
But like shoes, we are perused, examined, and chosen, or rejected.
Are there some good ones left? Yes, but you must be a careful shopper. | |
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| Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ? Posted: 12/19/2006 7:42:29 AM | ^^^Funny I said this to a friend recently. What's left in the dating pool is like bargain basement merchandise. It was either returned, rejected, or went too well with the decor in the store to come off the display case.
If they are like shoes, then let's all just go barefoot so that it's less of a necessity and then only wear shoes that we find comfortable in fit, style, and practicality.
That way if we find shoes we like, great but if not, we're still comfortable and it doesn't get in the way of living life. | |
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| Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ? Posted: 12/19/2006 8:22:53 AM | Damb right I do... and I'm one of em!
Its facinating, and frustrating too... how a thread like this automatically illicits the usual commentaries. I can see them all just in the last few posts. 1. been burned, go to hell, your'e all bad...I quit! 2. Good is a 'relative term'......huh? 3.they're all taken .... , theres more, but I ain't got time to mess with it.
For the poster who almost bought a House with her...Loser, Liar. What???? How can you spend that kind of time and experience with someone and not see them??? this is about you, not them. You better start getting smart..or you will just do the same thing again. I speak from experience.
For the poster who is trying to 'dumb' us down with the used shoe analogy...nah. Doesn't really work. And Good is Not a relative term. Its very definable and accurate English language word.
I'm getting old enough that I am finally learning: you can either just follow the Laws of the universe... or you can attempt to manipulate them in order to fit into your agendas. We have that choice: But, take it from me... the latter choice just NEVER works...no...Never. | |
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| Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ? Posted: 12/19/2006 10:15:25 AM | I believe there are good men left out there....they are just hard to find....!!! The problem is that most of us women have been burned far too many times....and when the right guy comes along we have so many walls up we don't realize that he may be the good guy we've been waiting for.....and then we end up making judgements, looking for redflags, and if the poor guy does one thing wrong he's outta there....
I do believe you guys exist as do good women exist....
I think that we all have to sit back and take things slowly with people...and not be so quick to judge....don't jump in with both feet....Men as well as women have to learn to be patient, if they meet someone who doesn't let them into their life right away, be patient, and try to understand that the person may have been really hurt, and needs to build up trust and friendship before they want a truly romantic relationship......
The worst thing to do if you are a man, (who is a good man) is push and push and push , b/c to a woman who has been hurt before, she sees that as intrusive...and she will pull away...and vice versa....and again you could be that good man she's been searching for but because of previous relationships you may get pushed away....for no other reason than being too nice....I know it sounds wrong but thats the way it is....
All women who have had a previous relationship go sour, put up walls and you good guys have to realize that it takes a little more time and effort to build the trust and break through the walls.....remember its not you as a person...its the person (man) or persons (men) that have contributed to the non-trust and building of walls around us....
Patience and time is the key to letting a woman know you are a good guy and not the guy that hurt them.....
Again I do believe you good guys exist!!!!!!
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| Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ? Posted: 12/19/2006 10:37:22 AM | Is it just me, or was this thread specifically designed by the OP to gather every single self proclaimed "Good Guy/Nice Guy" on the site into one location so they could be identified for some future nefarious purpose? I mean why would any Man in his right mind (me being one obviously not in his right mind) post in this thread saying something other than "No they do exist, they do exist, I'm a "Nice/Good Guy, see they do exist!"
I suddenly find myself feeling like I am in some twisted version of the movie Peter Pan (and for once not playing the title role myself). Earlier in the film we the audience are told by Pan: "Every time someone says they don't believe there are any "Good Man" left, a "Good Man" someplace in the world suddenly drops dead. Now our Hero's close companion and "Good Man" Tink is dead, and we have Wendy, Peter Pan, and the Lost Boys encourging all of you to say "I beleive in Good Man, I beleive in Good Man, I believe in Good Man". I hope it has a happy ending.
Have fun  | |
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| Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ? Posted: 12/19/2006 11:18:47 AM | Yes there are plenty...oooh did you get that, Plenty.... Just because an apple has a worm hole doesn't mean the rest of it is rotten. Don't let one bad apple spoil the bunch. An apple a day.....wait, wait that one won't work here. | |
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Lynn75
| Joined: 9/23/2006 Msg: 569 | |
| Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ? Posted: 12/19/2006 4:42:29 PM | | Hmmmm, I think so but I think it's rare (or hard!) to find one. I know I certainly wasn't married to one and at one time I thought he was one of the good ones.....found out he wasn't (and I'm very lucky he's not in my life anymore!). | |
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| Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ? Posted: 12/24/2006 9:50:59 AM | | God, I hope so. The past few men I've been involved with don't seem to believe in working a steady job. That scares me. I never thought money was really something I placed a high priority on but, I can't afford to support a man and don't expect one to support me. But, this men not working seems to be the current fad for men over 45 or so, they all seem to have put the best years of their life into their jobs and are burnt out or physically "disabled" or hurt now in some way. Are there any able bodied men out there is more my question. And if they are able bodied, and can work a 40 hour week, is it a legimate job? Are they honest? Respectful? Sincere? Loyal? Is all that too much to ask for? I just want someone who I can consider an equal peer, not someone looking for a free ride. | |
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| Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ? Posted: 12/24/2006 9:57:26 AM | A good man isn't as important as a good looking man or a good and wealthy man. So what if they treat a girl like dirt, man they look sexy and have cool cars.
What the fark r u talking about? I fell in love and married a man who was 'average' looking, working for a living (paycheque to paycheque) and drove a beat up truck when I met him!!! He's good in his own way and I was still treated like sh$t!!!!!....so I truly don't agree with your statement.....
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| Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ? Posted: 12/24/2006 11:00:01 AM | yea i believe that there are still good men out there, just there really hard to find i think i just found one but i have to wait and see... and also girls dont always look for the goodlooking guys with the nice cars see i have been single for over a year and a half because i was looking for the right guy yes lots of guys told me oh im like this im like that i dont do this i dont do that but you see as i got to know them that was just a ton of lies so you see good looking guys are not always the way to go looks should be the last priority on the list of what you want. who cares if they have a nice car and there georgous or good looking... you know what, i dont! i look for a guy with a good personality thats caring, loving and has a good heart thats what most girls should look for not just hte guy that has a nice car a good job and that is goodlooking thats NOT what its all about you see the girls who go out with those type of guys are most likly not gunna be happy in life and if t hey get married most likly to get a devorce im not trying to be neggative but from what some guys have told me they dont like girls running after there money, there looks and there cars...
~Annie | |
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