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| Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ?
Posted: 6/19/2009 10:29:51 AM | | I hear Chace Crawford is available. Go for him, since average men/LOSERS aren't rich enough, tall enough, handsome enough or "good" enough for you. Or, you could always go date some creepy looking character and after he uses you and dumps you, you can whine on about how there are no good men left. | |
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| Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ?
Posted: 6/19/2009 10:50:46 AM | Yes I do. I meet good men all the time. I read about some of the horror stories about dating but I have been fortunate to not become one. OK..one fellow thought he would take me to his place, after I said I didn't want to go there( NOT a first date...I do not get into the car with strangers) ...but I just called a taxi and got on with my evening.
But in a broad sense, I see and talk to good men everywhere.
Often times our own beliefs are what holds us back. If we think all men are bad...we will focus on and see as magnified every bad trait in someone.
We will also attract that which we focus upon. | |
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| Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ?
Posted: 6/19/2009 10:53:00 AM | I am one of those really frustrated women because I know that there are some great guys out there many of whom are my friends boyfriends or my male friends I just have yet to find one for myself. I have to say though, the search along the way is rather depressing lol.
I hate it when women say all men are the same it's so not true and I doubt we'd be happy if men started saying we are all the same. I guess the question is where do we find the good men? | |
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| Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ?
Posted: 6/19/2009 6:57:59 PM | I am one of those really frustrated women because I know that there are some great guys out there many of whom are my friends boyfriends or my male friends I just have yet to find one for myself. I have to say though, the search along the way is rather depressing lol.
I hate it when women say all men are the same it's so not true and I doubt we'd be happy if men started saying we are all the same. I guess the question is where do we find the good men?
What kills me is the women friends of a guy who say "You are a great guy" but yet that must be a bunch of bs, because why is it the guy is a great guy but is not dating material to them?
What happens I think is, women meet a guy who is a great guy BUT they want the perfect package. And so when they see a flaw, he is not good enough to date but is still a great guy. Great, fun guy who lacks in looks, fashion, status...he is then not good enough.
Good men, like good women, are there, just we all get sidetracked by those who steal the attention away. So it is like this:
Both are walking towards one another down the street, but each is looking the opposite way at something and so they bypass one another.
Most women I think as they hit 30 think all men are pigs and want one thing. Because they encounter it so much and so that gives them that mindset. It is hard once you have that mindset, to think positive, because each time you meet a man you are waiting and expecting him to "act" a certain way, in return you are not seeing the good in him. | |
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| Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ?
Posted: 6/20/2009 5:32:49 AM | "I hate it when women say all men are the same it's so not true and I doubt we'd be happy if men started saying we are all the same. I guess the question is where do we find the good men?"
I think part of the problem is perception, and what women deem makes up a good man. The second part is possibly what women instead date when they cannot get what they really want.
What men do women consider good men? From what I have seen, read, observed, seen by glancing at the women's magazines in the supermarket checkout stands, it isn't average looking men of average means. It's celebrities and other high-profile exceptionally attractive men with very high incomes, high social status and up to date on all the latest fashions and other events and such and would make the woman who has him the envy of all her female friends and coworkers. Problem is, that type of man is very highly sought after, and very few and far between. When women put down "all men" it's often because they do not have what it takes to attract and keep such a man. If they did, I doubt they would still be single, and probably wouldn't be looking for those men on a dating site, or bars and clubs for that matter.
So instead, often these women go for the "bad boy" type, who promises excitement and drama, the good time their mama warned them about. Then after the excitement ends for him, he dumps her, and she repeats the same pattern over and over, all the while completely ignoring and/or rejecting the men who would be loyal and faithful to her, and who would make a good stable partner for her. Thus, she comes to the conclusion "all men are pigs." Pretty f'd up if you ask me.
A lot of those men who would be good partners end up giving up on dating and move on to other things in life after a while. I know, I've met many of them. I may have used to be one of them, but I've found other things to occupy my time. I - and I can probably speak for a number of men - are not interested in being who a woman "settles" for. Why would anyone be flattered to be someone else's last resort?
So what men are left after those guys who would have been good partners split the scene? The ones women endlessly and bitterly complain about. | |
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| Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ?
Posted: 6/20/2009 6:03:45 AM |
What kills me is the women friends of a guy who say "You are a great guy" but yet that must be a bunch of bs, because why is it the guy is a great guy but is not dating material to them?
What happens I think is, women meet a guy who is a great guy BUT they want the perfect package. And so when they see a flaw, he is not good enough to date but is still a great guy. Great, fun guy who lacks in looks, fashion, status...he is then not good enough.
Good men, like good women, are there, just we all get sidetracked by those who steal the attention away. So it is like this:
Both are walking towards one another down the street, but each is looking the opposite way at something and so they bypass one another.
Most women I think as they hit 30 think all men are pigs and want one thing. Because they encounter it so much and so that gives them that mindset. It is hard once you have that mindset, to think positive, because each time you meet a man you are waiting and expecting him to "act" a certain way, in return you are not seeing the good in him.
I can't speak for all women but in my case they already have girlfriends or I wanna be with them but they might not with me, in other cases the timing is all wrong i might be dating someone and they might wanna be with me sometimes it's just hard to get things happening with someone I guess. | |
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| Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ?
Posted: 6/20/2009 6:30:00 AM | At this point in my life, I'm not really sure, but it all depends on a person's definition or preception of what a good man is. My definition of a good man is one who trustworthy, has a good personality, caring along with understanding, goal and family oriented, funny, able to manage money, a Mr. Fix-it around the house (don't have to know how to fix everything, but do have some skills), romantic, has a decent job, and one who I am compatiable with in the bedroom. And one who I am attractive to. That's pretty simple, I don't think it's alot to ask for. Main problems I seem to run into (as I'm sure most women do) are men who lie, cheat, lazy, and have nothing to offer but sex. Very sad.  | |
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| Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ?
Posted: 6/20/2009 11:31:22 AM | Also what defines a good man?
When a man has good qualities that should make him a good man. But the more you give, the more that is wanted right?
So when you lack a quality in a woman's eyes, you are not a good man. Might be a good friend.
Not all women, but many want perfection of some sort.
My guess is lacking in the looks dept, or image is probably the most popular one that kills it for a man to be a good man. | |
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Cyn+
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Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 1285 | |
| Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ?
Posted: 6/20/2009 12:26:05 PM | I think that there are some good men out there otherwise I would not be here.
It is easy for myself to attract men, lovers, friends, but not alway easy to find someone for a long term relationship.
Many are dealing with midlife issues . I think this is the time to lighten up for my generation although I usually get along just fine with those younger than myself.
My children are grown and I think that allows great freedom and time to share with others and think many men are find themselves at the same stage of life, when it is no longer all about work, bills children and the wife is an ex wife now so time to move on and enjoy the fruits of life. Once these men have gone through the wooooo hoooooo I am single again faze and are looking for a relationship with some substance, this is what makes a great, still fun, good guy and they are out there !
Cynthia | |
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| Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ?
Posted: 6/20/2009 12:43:31 PM | I also think many men when they hit thier 40's give up because they see more younger guys being better than them in the dating world. Women are not lookign thier age and it is fully acceptable for women to not act thier age.
Many men do not age good, just is genes many times and nothing they can do about it, and if a man acts younger than he is, women frown upon it. So in the end most of the good men are usually under 40. | |
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| Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ?
Posted: 6/21/2009 12:18:31 AM |
I also think many men when they hit thier 40's give up because they see more younger guys being better than them in the dating world. Women are not lookign thier age and it is fully acceptable for women to not act thier age.
Many men do not age good, just is genes many times and nothing they can do about it, and if a man acts younger than he is, women frown upon it. So in the end most of the good men are usually under 40.
Wow...this is just so wrong, I don't where to begin except you sure didn't help your case with all the mis-spelling and bad grammar.
Speak for yourself about aging well or giving up. | |
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| Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ?
Posted: 6/21/2009 3:38:21 AM | lve got to agree with this above statement .As lve just meet a fab 53 yold here.His just a beautiful man all over Were have you been all my life u know who u are
lm 6 year his junior and he looks great...Just like aged wine..There Are good men out there .Women need to be honest and fair in what they seek within a freind /partner and luver.And should be able to match there expectations within themselves..Some truley attract what they THINK they need in a man...Not always so???.But maturity,honestly and realistic expectations .And mostly not treating every man the same does help the seach in finding a soul mate ,whislt able to. lifes to short to be wasted doing the same old mistake time after time | |
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| Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ?
Posted: 6/21/2009 5:59:20 AM | | I think as we grow older and wiser and more intune with what we want and don't want our choices are narrowed down to so few that we have a hard time finding one that fits the bill. After many heart breaks and bad relationships we may feel that its nearly impossible to find a good man. Then you go on a dating site and all the game players come out to play and jump on every women they can in hopes to catch you off guard to get in you pants. So after running into so many of them you get jaded. I think men also have simular horror stories of being hurt in the past and feel they have to be on guard and don't want to get hurt again just like the women do. So we tread lightly in hopes of meeting someone who fits our requirments of a great person to spend time with get to know and maybe even hook up with down the road. | |
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| Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ?
Posted: 6/21/2009 6:32:16 AM | Wow...this is just so wrong, I don't where to begin except you sure didn't help your case with all the mis-spelling and bad grammar.
Speak for yourself about aging well or giving up
Sorry about the spelling mistakes, not perfect on my typing nor a perfect keyboard.
I have givin up, my comment was many men in thier 40's are viewed as not good enough. Never said every guy. So I was speaking for myself and some others.
SPECIALLADY28 is right on the money with her post. | |
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| Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ?
Posted: 6/27/2009 10:39:52 PM | | i totally agree im a very good guy that struggles in datg scene dont know why ..not like old days wanted good guy .now want bad boy or loser ,these good guys do finish last sad i depise see a loser someone and i cant | |
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ceoil
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Joined: 6/12/2009
Msg: 1294 | |
| Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ?
Posted: 7/9/2009 3:54:47 PM | | Yes of course, but it is harder to find them these days I believe as parents don't bring up their children so properly anymore as they used to mostly due to childcare etc etc | |
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| Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ?
Posted: 7/10/2009 7:56:10 AM | I'm going on a limb and saying yes...lol
i have had my share of dates that involves a story about how the woman finally got away from the controlling sob that took her pay check at the end of the week. He would not let her go out with her friends. Drank all the time had porn addictions made funny faces at her cat...ect......
Rule of thumb if you pick a bad man it's not your fault
but
If you continue to pick bad men it is your fault.
Trust me i had to look at some of my choices in women.
In the end the only common denominator
was Me
(sigh) | |
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| Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ?
Posted: 7/10/2009 8:51:58 AM | It's interesting.
In real life who I come across (who I couldn't date; as it would either be client or coworker) are all very good. Wonderful, interesting people.
The ones from in here on the fishing side I have heard from (and some become friends with) have been overwhelmingly good for the most part; in spite of very divergent personalities, interests and "styles". Very very few people have I heard from and or met and or gotten to know over the few months I've been in here have been anything but very good; interesting and nice. Very few exceptions.
The forums side though, there seems to be so much more generalizing, stereotyping, huge chips on shoulders and assumptions, (not in any way by all, but by more than a few) I'm thinking some are probably very good but their good core is probably so deeply buried beneath self protection, closely held assumptions and a massive mistrust of women and motives, I honestly don't know that they would ever let that good person out to get to know the woman; because they are so sure the woman would hurt, take from, look down on or take advantage of them. Not everyone obviously, but there are several on this side (and I know yes, women too) that are about assumptions, self protection and guarding against being taken from, taken advantage of or disrespected. A lot of anger, disgust, and blanket disregard because of either a few experiences, or feeding off others with the same mindset. The "battle of the sexes" if you will.
I am sure they are good too; and I am sure they have a ton to offer. But I can't help but wonder if they will ever let themselves offer anything; as they are so busy making sure they are not "taken from"; the other person may never get a chance to see the wodnerful person I am sure is in there, being so closely guarded.
I am usually really good at finding good in people and relish finding hidden gems in the crustiest of people; but there are some people that only show the shell of bravado and "self preservation", it's difficult to see anything within them at all, in what I read.
Maybe they're different in one on one interactions than they portray themselves in here (actually, one of them I have interacted with, and they very much are different one on one, and an awesome person), but otherwise, I wish people could understand only showing a shell while hiding who they are except the hostility and self protection, a nice person is nice; not hostile and convinced they will be disrespected and done wrong by.
I hope every once in a while people can put off the bravado and just hang out; and do a cease fire on the moratorium of "us and them"
it would make the good show just a little brighter; and it will kill the stereotypes and the chips on shoulders down a little. and that's a good thing, right?
It's all good :) | |
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| Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ?
Posted: 7/10/2009 1:35:19 PM | I can't even believe this question was asked.
and that people actually answered it.
Do people really believe there are no good people
around....male or female?
I think fishes is warping our eyesight.
It's been my experience that fishes doesn't always
bring out the best in people...maybe that's why this
question was asked? I don't know. | |
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| Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ?
Posted: 7/10/2009 1:49:08 PM |
Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ?
Sure there is. He's having coffee down the street with James Dean, Elvis , the Easter bunny and Santa.
I hear he plays doubles tennis at the club on Saturday mornings. He may still be teamed up with Prince Charming. ( I'm sure you heard him and Snow White are having problems)
Good men stuck to their guns and died off waiting for the return of the "Good Women". They refused to settle and move on and the result was the end of their existence. That was 1904 I do believe.
So now they go down in the books of mythical creatures, like the Yetty or Lock Nes! | |
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