| Good boys or bad ones?
Posted: 10/16/2006 1:03:05 PM | It seems that women are describing "bad boys" as a good guy with excitement, unpredictable, and spontaneous added to the portfolio. Someone that will be unpredictable and a little wild where it counts.
Finding a jerk that has these qualities is easy as well but, in the long run, the good guy is a better way to go. I think women realize this as they churn through a few relationships. | |
|
| Good boys or bad ones?
Posted: 10/16/2006 1:49:37 PM | | I consider myself a good guy for the most part... but i've had some of my "nice edges" pounded out dating girls back in highschool and early college. If a girl knows she has you head over heels then its over. Period. I guess my dating life improved when girls taught me to not be so nice. The only new hurdle I can't jump over in this new dating world is the lieing thing :P. I've noticed unless you lie your ass off in your profile and send in pictures of yourself helping disabled children at the local boys and girls club and fishing on a giant yacht in new mexico, you get no attention. I realize being unwilling to lie probably hurts my odds LOL. | |
|
| Good boys or bad ones?
Posted: 10/16/2006 2:32:00 PM | I tend to date the bad-boy types. Most of them are in good-boy exteriors ~ still bad-boys nonetheless.  | |
|
| Good boys or bad ones?
Posted: 10/16/2006 6:04:58 PM | I know I've read and responded to another thread on this topic. I'm not one who is in favor of digging up century old threads, so let's keep at it. I do remember, however, that the last one got heated pretty quickly. From what I've seen here, there's no doubt in my mind that this one will as well.
Bad boys are not criminals. Criminals are idiots. Bad boys, by my own definition, are those that are smart enough to balance respect and responsibility with a dangerous edge. Bad boys are not women beaters or bar room brawlers. They don't pick fights or display a great deal of attitude in a way that suggests they have to be heard in order to be seen. These guys are still just plain ol' boys. Look around any junior high school and you'll see these same boys in smaller bodies. Maybe even as a result of these older "boys" breeding.
I consider myself to be a bad boy and a good man.
Yes, both personas can co-exist within the same guy. | |
|
| |
| Good boys or bad ones?
Posted: 10/16/2006 7:06:39 PM | Dime12804, what's a bad-boy then,..... someone who jay-walks???
I think these women are speaking about the real bad-boys,.... The one's who do fight, commit the occassional petty crime, and drink heavily. If not, then they're just after the posers.
Women I have known in my life, and there have been many, that went after the bad-boys, went after the real thing. Then they wondered why the rent was gambled away, the TV pawned, tire tracks all over the front lawn, holes in the bathroom walls, abandoment during pregnancy/or shortly after, and the occassional black eye. These women loved the "Bad-Boy", and oddly, still do. I don't get it????? It has been said by many bad-boy loving women that I have spoken with, that they thought they could change them....... Which brings me back to the "Snake" story earlier in this post.
There's a saying: Men marry women hoping they will never change. Women marry men hoping they will change. | |
|
| Good boys or bad ones?
Posted: 10/16/2006 7:14:54 PM | | An edge is what keeps a lot of things interesting, a little rough around the edges, but looks good in a 3 piece suit and can impress your boss, or help you negotiate that contract, but when you get alone, well thats between you and him | |
|
| Good boys or bad ones?
Posted: 10/16/2006 8:08:34 PM | Rainman.....LMAO. I cannot speak for anyone else. And, if that's what women are looking for or speaking of when they say "bad boy", then I guess I'm off base. I still don't think they're bad boys. Just morons.
Reasons I affiliate the bad boy image to myself and consider those with similar characteristics a "bad boy"......
Quiet confidence. Doesn't need to speak loudly or use intimidation because this confidence is loud enough to make any statement this person wants to make.
Rugged appearance. Not slobbish, but rugged.
Wild in a fun and unthreatening way. Loves motorcylces, loud music, drinks to have a good time and charms a crowd with even the most vulgar of conversational topics.
Stands up for women. A bad boy, in my opinion, would never hit a woman and would take great pleasure in taking a guy who would out back.
Last. Bad boys have something that they do that gives them an easy transition into becoming and/or maintaining the bad boy image. It could be his bike. Maybe he's a motorcross rider or a snowboarder. Musicians, athletes, whatever.
I dunno. Bad boy is more of an image to me, but nobody will ever confuse me for the passive type. Once again, I don't believe you have to be a bad guy to be a bad boy.
And yes, I J-walk.  | |
|
| Good boys or bad ones?
Posted: 10/16/2006 8:28:53 PM |
I don't believe you have to be a bad guy to be a bad boy.
Yes, Mr. Dime nailed it.
The guys that women complain about and men are mystified by aren't "bad boys," they're just jerks and creeps. Not the same thing at all.
The true bad boys I've know over the years have ALL been good guys. Maybe not the settling-down type, but certainly not liars, cheaters or abusers. Well, they might lie a bit, if it's funny. And maybe even "cheat," but only because some woman has laid claim to him, despite the fact that he actually didn't agree to it. Abuser? Never. | |
|
| Good boys or bad ones?
Posted: 10/16/2006 8:37:31 PM | I like a naughty boy with a good heart And firm buttocks for smacking  | |
|
| Good boys or bad ones?
Posted: 10/16/2006 9:06:30 PM | I'd have to say that I agree with you Drummer Girl.
I'd like a guy who knows how to be a Gentleman.
But, knows the right time & place to be "A BAD BOY".
Half Gentleman, half Bad Boy equals= 1 good MAN!
 | |
|
| Good boys or bad ones?
Posted: 10/16/2006 9:06:51 PM | Dime12804, I agree with you, don't get me wrong,.... This is why I am confused.
I have played in bands most of my life and toured extensively. The women I have met over the years that fell for the so-called bad boy were also the ones who complained that they had been treated badly, either emotionally or physically. Yet, they continued to find these men attractive. It seemed that if they found someone who appeared to be bad (in looks), but was truly nice inside, they got bored and moved on to the rougher type again. This is why I am confused as to "why" it is so attractive. I suppose it's like a drug in the sense that there is a rush that can't be achieved with anything else, but eventually does damage and isn't so fun anymore..... But you'll eventually need another hit.
I have even asked many women why they liked the bad boys and that was the answer, that they liked the wild ride. Even though they were mostly bitter towards the men that they were once attracted to, they still found this image and lifestyle attractive. I must say that most of these women were bar girls and dancers, so like attracted like I suppose. I think people get what they get. One should take things into consideration prior to getting involved with the bad boy or bad girl. It's rare that someone is bad and good at the same time. I do agree however that all good is truly boring, but the term "Bad" is just that,.... Bad. Naughty, wild, intense, troubled, complex might be better terms???
I see women with gang members and drug dealers, car thieves, loud mouths and abusers,.... Also corrupt lawyers and stock brokers, cops and councilmen, with bad intent. These I consider the real Bad Boys. Why are they with them?? Why do women like these types of guys? | |
|
| Good boys or bad ones?
Posted: 10/16/2006 9:12:49 PM | | I Will ADMIT, I usually fall for the one's who don't want me and have never given me a chance! | |
|
| Good boys or bad ones?
Posted: 10/16/2006 9:50:23 PM | mmmmm well forsure a good guy by day but when night time hits the animal in me comes out and I become a bad boy and do what ever she wants to put that aahhhhhh smile on her face | |
|
| Good boys or bad ones?
Posted: 10/16/2006 9:50:36 PM | | why do they go for the bad type? Well personally i wouldn't go for what you described.My idea of a badboy is someone who isn't on the straight and narrow,but treats me with utmost respect.My badboy is truly a bad boy,but i'm pretty much his princess.He doesn't go around picking fights,and he isn't a jerk.But he is very much a badass. | |
|
| Good boys or bad ones?
Posted: 10/16/2006 10:05:23 PM | I know what ya mean Rainman. My band is just getting a new start after a little over a year. We played our first show about three weeks ago. I was confronted by many women that night during the breaks and even had two women try to coax me home with them.....together. I can't say that a lot of them weren't tempting, but I declined all of them. Maybe I'm getting old, but I'd be more intrigued if they wanted coffee after the show.
Those girls are often looking for that short ride with the bad boy. Even if they are looking for something more long term, what happens if/when the bad boy thing that attracted them to you goes away??? Are they still gonna be happy???
It's just as tricky for the ladies as it is for the guys in this situation. And, just like the guys, they'll occasionally give up doing the right thing and attempt the wrong thing for a quick fix. This is what opens the door for abusers and the like, but I know for a fact that there are just as many abusive women in it for the wrong thing as there are guys.
Look out for number one. That's the best anyone can do. Try hitting the bad boy up for coffee. Of course he wants to have hot sweaty monkey sex with you. It's natural. Just don't make it too easy. The truly bad guys will not be patient enough when they have them coming at him from all angles.
not that this is usually a problem for me. LOL. Just on gig nights. | |
|
| Good boys or bad ones?
Posted: 10/16/2006 10:20:55 PM | "You seem to only want the ones that don't want you? The more a
guy shows you how little he cares.....the more you want him!" Sorry Doug, you are wrong about this woman. When I know a man doesn't want me, that's it for me. I am smart enough to know I cannot make someone to change their mind. | |
|
| Good boys or bad ones?
Posted: 10/16/2006 10:58:27 PM | | firecracker28, please explain "someone who isn't on the straight and narrow" do you mean that he is a criminal? I would like a little clarification on"but he is very much a badass" too. I have said in a similar post before that really dangerous men seldom have the need to display how tough they are, most avoide trouble and only resort to violence when they are forced into a corner and have no alternative. I work in a dangerous field and I have looked at several people over gun sights and knew beyond a doubt that I would pull the trigger if necessary. Does this make me a dangerous person? Some would say "yes". Does this make me a "bad boy", I guess that's up to someone else's preception, I don't think of myself as particularly dangerous or a bad boy. I see myself as a good man who is exciting to be around. I think ultimately that this is what MOST women are seeking when they want a "bad boy". Based on your post, you may not fall into that catagory. | |
|
| Good boys or bad ones?
Posted: 10/17/2006 7:29:29 AM | At the risk of being crucified, I think that most (not all) women go thru a period where they are attracted to the 'rebel' type.....& upon being burned repeatedly realize that this attraction, while exciting because of it's uncertainty, does not necessarily make for a good long-term partner. But a total good guy may not be the most exciting person & they quickly fall out of lust w/ him, if it was ever there in the first place.
So we get the mixed answer of 'a little of both', which is much closer to the reality of a woman who has been around the block a few times.
There's definately a similar female category, but it's interesting that the 'good girl/bad girl' threads are MUCH fewer in number. Mabye not fewer in number...just w/ much different wording, as they tend to focus on physical matters & not behavior. I suppose that is reflective of what the genders are looking for in their mates.
It's nice to have the control & ability to not limit yourself to either side of that fence, tho. | |
|
| Good boys or bad ones?
Posted: 10/17/2006 12:57:29 PM | This is on my profile and I stick by it. I want a good mixture of both...
Nice guys:
Good: They are sweet, caring, honest and willing to please.
Bad: BORING! No challenge. I should not get every little thing I want and you should not give into my every wim. Plus, where is the manliness. Stand your ground sometimes.
Bad boys:
Good: Tough and masculine. Can put a fiesty (or fiery) woman in her place. Is your big protector. Adds excitement to life. And the best part is to know that even though he has a hard shell, he still gets that twinkle for a special lady...
Bad: Big risk of getting hurt or getting into trouble.... Tend to not deal with emotions well and end up expressing it in anger... (just not in the good angry make-up sex way)
The Solution:
Give me a bad boy with a little less anger and a little more staying power. Give me a tough macho guy with that little bit of sensitivity when it counts. A man who can get a little wild, but stays grounded. A bad boy who can commit and not hurt me. A man who knows when he needs to tame me AND when he needs to pamper me. | |
|
| Good boys or bad ones?
Posted: 10/17/2006 2:39:38 PM | Frequently being arrested,divorced, hailed into court, being kicked out of bars/clubs, fired from jobs, having his cars repo'd, telephone screaming matches with bill collectors.... is this what you mean by "bad boy"? Being thousands of dollars in arrears on child support? Having a history of failed relationships, restraining orders, or a concern that there is a hit out on him?
Naw, give me a guy who works and pays his bills, or gives back to the community/helps others if he's retired, And doesn't have forty'leven women wishing him dead...
I don't care then if he rides a Harley, or has an occasional drink/toke(as long as he doesn't risk his own or anyone else's safety) or has long hair, or plays in a band...
Cindy O | |
|
| Good boys or bad ones?
Posted: 10/17/2006 3:06:14 PM | | Hmmm.. tough one really, I like a man to look a bit rough around the edges and by that I dont mean poor hygiene just a bit rugged looking, I like a guy with a wild streak but this doesnt mean a ex con or woman beater just someone with a bit of spark in them, perhaps they do dangerous sports, something along those lines! I dont this this puts the guy into a 'bad' boy box but on the other hand wouldn't be attracted to someone that spent more on face creams etc than me and was afraid of getting his hands dirty. | |
|
xamo
|
Joined: 3/24/2006
Msg: 73 | |
| Good boys or bad ones?
Posted: 10/17/2006 3:25:27 PM | | How about a happy medium ? an actual genine man who works, but can relax, can earn, but remain philosophical about the material things in life, can fight or walk away, who can be independant and also share...not a metrosexual or a beurocrat nor a cave man or afool. Same thing with the women...except in reverse,or thesame actualy I am not shure lol tired debate, its an individuals chioce. | |
|
| Good boys or bad ones?
Posted: 10/17/2006 9:56:36 PM | "Nice guys:
Good: They are sweet, caring, honest and willing to please.
Bad: BORING! No challenge. I should not get every little thing I want and you should not give into my every wim. Plus, where is the manliness. Stand your ground sometimes."
There are plenty of "nice" guys that do NOT give in to every whim, are manly and do stand their ground. They stand for something. I feel there is a difference between "nice" guys and "desperate". The boring part decribes desperate to me. | |
|
| Good boys or bad ones?
Posted: 10/17/2006 10:03:28 PM | | I always get the wolves in sheep's clothing. I think they are a good boy, but they are really bad boys in disguise. | |
|
Home
login 
