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| You Know Youre Too Horny When...
Posted: 10/12/2005 1:52:14 AM | thats a funny one.
i'll have to remember those words of wisdom.
don't order pizza when horny.
also you know when you're horny when
when the plug looks good to you. | |
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| You Know Youre Too Horny When...
Posted: 10/12/2005 7:38:13 PM | .....when the end of a brush is lookin like good meat
.....when the vibrations of the oc transpo bus are the best moves you've had done on you in a while
....."Chandler" on friends looks hot
.....you pass up an oreo or brownie in order for more "me time"
.....Ride 'em cowboy sounds like good advice | |
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| You Know Youre Too Horny When...
Posted: 10/12/2005 10:09:46 PM | Girls:
you start watching Jerry Springer just to see the guys grab their junk while posturing at the audience.
Guys:
you actually PAY for the "uncencered" Jerry in the hopes of seeing those 85 yr old b00bs
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| You Know Youre Too Horny When...
Posted: 10/16/2005 5:00:48 PM | ....50 bucks really doesnt sound to expensive
....both wrist have carpul tunnel syndrom and your only 25
...You think Marge Simpson is one foxy lady
...You see a picture of whoopie goldberg and and get a hard on | |
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| You Know Youre Too Horny When...
Posted: 10/16/2005 6:05:29 PM | you squeeze into a parking spot and become turned on
you become aroused by a female autopys pic while watching csi
you think because the girl at the drive up window talks to you she wants you | |
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| You Know Youre Too Horny When...
Posted: 10/16/2005 10:17:32 PM | ROLFLMAO...I think I know some people that ARE just too horny!!!
When you can thaw your own hotdogs (without a microwave)... | |
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| You Know Youre Too Horny When...
Posted: 10/22/2005 11:12:28 AM | ... You Get a hard on from hearing Barbra Streisand
... The 400 pound girl at the grocery store is starting to look damn fine
... You get a hard on at your family reunion (Im sorry I had too....)
... You own a vibrating toothbrush and it isnt used for your teeth(for the ladies lol) | |
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| You Know Youre Too Horny When...
Posted: 10/23/2005 5:12:10 AM | When you have that first encounter with the space between the cushion and the couch.
When you accidently hit yourself in the nads with a broomstick and just have to try it again. | |
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| You Know Youre Too Horny When...
Posted: 10/23/2005 6:39:46 PM | ...You think the women off murder she wrote is one hot pieve of tail
...you get a off from the vibrations on the bus
... you use the battery from the smoke detector to power your virbrator | |
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| You Know Youre Too Horny When...
Posted: 10/24/2005 9:53:27 AM | ..........You look at your neighbor's Poodle and say, "Yeah, you look REAL pretty" (For less endowed men, chihuahuas are a fair substitute).
..........You look at your Mother-In-Law with that same longing stare you give to your cow, Bessie (applies to rednecks and hillbillies).
..........You tear your wallet to shreads trying to find the $199.95 to spend on that Tera Patrick love doll that just came out (with the real feel skin!).
..........The police catch you bottomless bopping a cottonball-filled hole in a brick wall, while holding a bottle of Jim Beam in one hand, and a bottle of KY Heated Lubricant in the other (also applies primarily to rednecks and hillbillies, but may be substituted by Bill Clinton while visiting NYC).
..........You wake up and realize you're in bed with the neighbor...........His name is Jim..........You're wearing a wedding band...........And last you knew, you were single.........Did I mention the bars on the door and window, Prison Panzie? (don't even want to think about who this one applies to). | |
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| You Know Youre Too Horny When...
Posted: 10/24/2005 11:42:01 AM | you know youre too horny when...
...you try to get thrown in Jail.
...you openly admit that Rosie Palms and her five little sisters are your best friends.
...you refer to bumping into a girl in a shopping market as "action".
...the question "can you pick up that soap?" doesnt seem quite as terrifying as it used to. | |
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| You Know Youre Too Horny When...
Posted: 10/26/2005 7:30:43 AM | You know you're horny when.....
Your best buddy, Bubba is starting to look kind a good.
you get angry at God, because, you can't suck your self. Dogs can........WHY CAN'T I!!!!!!!
you find yourself, looking at cucumbers...as the woman do.
you look out the window all the time.waiting for someone-anyone to walk by.
Finding yourself, telling someone they have a pretty mouth.
roaming around in bookstores at 2 a.m., the next state over.
looking at your niece and wondering......what's age? | |
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| You Know Youre Too Horny When...
Posted: 10/30/2005 8:46:48 AM | For the men,
When you start hanging around the cuccumber department of the grocery store waiting for the first woman to come by. | |
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