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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Would u date at guy or marry guy who is in the military?      Home login  
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 Lazyboyz
Joined: 8/15/2005
Msg: 26
Would u date at guy or marry guy who is in the military?Page 2 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
It's more likely that a military man would cheat on his wife/gf when away.

I'm an ex-soldier and I know what my group was like when we were
away from the women.

Sorry for giving away the trade secret.

@sniper308: perhaps your gf beat you to the punch? LOL
 ~softEDGE~
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 27
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History
Would u date at guy or marry guy who is in the military?
Posted: 10/9/2005 5:46:42 AM
i sure did, and stayed faithful, as well.
i am still very proud of the job my former spouse provided and while the deployments weren't fun, they were an obvious necessity which i understood and accepted. we lived together for a few years beforehand, so i knew what to expect, no suprises in that regard.
the loving bond two people share can overcome anything if both are willing and dedicated.
it can transcend distance, time and any number of other obstacles.
yes it was difficult, but also very much worth it.

separation does not equal unfaithfullness necessarily.
the act of being faithful and mark of integrity isn't limited to gender, lt col hunter.
sometimes we got through deployments by my visiting about halfway through
any long deployment. and into places some military wives wouldn't go...
what an eye opener! the places i've lived in, seen, experienced!
the people, cultures, art, music, even wildlife; what a mosaic!

i consider myself very blessed to have had all the experiences i did, and yes, of course
being a military wife took sacrifices, but nothing compared to what he went through.
the miliary life is within a tightly knit community. sometimes i miss that, and the travel, too.
the learning and experiencing different cultures overseas and conus was amazing.
 Sniper308
Joined: 10/21/2004
Msg: 28
Would u date at guy or marry guy who is in the military?
Posted: 10/9/2005 6:29:40 AM
Regarding the "bitter" comments... no, they don't apply to me.

As to "foxholes," maybe the Air Force has those. The Army has fighting positions. Foxholes are where gutless turds go to hide and avoid dealing with the bad guys.

Perhaps all the post-deployment divorces due to infidelities on the part of the Stateside spouse are just false statistics. Probably a Pentagon conspiracy. Riiiiiiight.
 ~softEDGE~
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 29
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Would u date at guy or marry guy who is in the military?
Posted: 10/9/2005 6:36:44 AM
lt col hunter, why bring penta into this?
did you query for honest responses, or to start flaming?


Perhaps all the post-deployment divorces due to infidelities on the part of the Stateside spouse are just false statistics. Probably a Pentagon conspiracy. Riiiiiiight.

it can possibly go both ways, not gender specific.
i naively consider "education" would transfer to intellect.
to ask a question, yet belittle the answers shows not only a lack of intellect, is disrespectful, but some issues surfacing as well. is this site really where to display this?! surely all know here posting is public domain. google any username...

thank God many of our military make us proud to stand by their side
and that helps some to stand strong in the face of obstacles when they are not.

it's about personal integrity; not statistical data.
why change midstream?
 squirrly
Joined: 6/8/2005
Msg: 30
Would u date at guy or marry guy who is in the military?
Posted: 10/9/2005 6:37:36 AM
when I first read this question....I thought idealistically, sure I would. But now after reading some of these posts especially from the military men themselves, I have some doubts about it.

A lot of military guys, particularly older ones, seem to have such a macho chauvinistic attitude to women which seems almost victorian that it's scary.
 Sniper308
Joined: 10/21/2004
Msg: 31
Would u date at guy or marry guy who is in the military?
Posted: 10/9/2005 6:44:33 AM
Oh, puh-lease.

When I was busy invading and liberating a country, on a daily basis I had to deal with, in some capacity, some poor Snuffy whose wife/girlfriend was being unfaithful. It affected his work, it affected the mission. We had to "send" a fellow field-grade officer to the Chaplain, because of his problems back home in this respect.

She slapped him with a divorce after he got home. I can PERSONALLY give you as many examples as you'd like. I certainly don't need to dig into Pentagon databases, but those of you who feel this is somehow a "minor" problem must think exactly that, it's a Pentagon conspiracy/rumor. All the reports of infidelities at home while spouses are deployed are just falsehoods. .
 ~softEDGE~
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 32
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Would u date at guy or marry guy who is in the military?
Posted: 10/9/2005 6:50:19 AM
oh puh-lease indeed!
some reason original poster cannot stay on their own topic?
lol here...

the question was: would you date or marry a guy who was in the military?
methinks many valid and honest responses have been exchanged here.

infidelity shows clearly of both genders; whether active duty or spousal.
integrity knows no boundary of gender; and one who slams any gender has no ingrity imho...

again, i wonder at the change of direction mid stream, but appreciate staying on topic.
perhaps an examination of POF TOS rules might clear this up...
 Sniper308
Joined: 10/21/2004
Msg: 33
Would u date at guy or marry guy who is in the military?
Posted: 10/9/2005 6:55:00 AM

lt col hunter, why bring penta into this?
did you query for honest responses, or to start flaming?


Sorry, I forgot to address this.

I don't care rat-spit about "responses." I don't come here for advice. As to flaming? Not really. Mostly, I was interested in seeing how many women would say they'd never do it and how many men would say "I've seen that very thing."

I'm sure there are so-called "faithful women" out there. Being faithful while the guy is away for a month or two at a time training some new employees in Fairbanks, Alaska, is one thing. Being faithful while the guy is away for 12-18 months at a time... with repeats being likely over the course of his career... is quite another. It takes a SPECIAL woman to endure that kind of situation and frankly, those type of women are pretty damn rare.
 Sniper308
Joined: 10/21/2004
Msg: 34
Would u date at guy or marry guy who is in the military?
Posted: 10/9/2005 7:00:26 AM
An examination of the POF TOS rules? Oh, the horror. "Gosh." Tangents are fine when they go YOUR way.

Regardless, I'll cease fire on the infidelity issue here. By all means, discuss whether military men are worth your time.
 ~softEDGE~
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 35
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Would u date at guy or marry guy who is in the military?
Posted: 10/9/2005 7:00:28 AM
ha. from the above post, then i am indeed rare; having had a 17 year long relationship
with no infidelity...
i recall no one administering advice here.
to see one begin a thread asking a specific question and then state
I don't care rat-spit about "responses."
and then
Mostly, I was interested in seeing how many women would say they'd never do it and how many men would say "I've seen that very thing."
seems ironic at best...


Tangents are fine when they go YOUR way.
um, no, but when genders aren't being slammed then prejudice is not present and makes for a more fair exchange...sometimes the pen is mightier than the sword, and sometimes history must be written with a gun. but there is also the "art" of war.

military men and military women can and are worth people's time; if the couple is right for one another.
fidelity in itself isn't militarily specific either.
firsthandly it may seem more difficult with some folks in the military community.
i believe it comes down to the couple, their bond and integrity for themselves and their spouse.


btw,
Regardless, I'll cease fire on the infidelity issue here.
great idea; thank you for the "cease fire" as this is, afterall a place for folks to remain respectful, within the rules, and not to target or incite, eh? good job! kudos on a mission accomplished. lol here...
 steve93437
Joined: 2/4/2005
Msg: 36
Would u date at guy or marry guy who is in the military?
Posted: 10/9/2005 7:20:19 AM
As to "foxholes," maybe the Air Force has those. The Army has fighting positions. Foxholes are where gutless turds go to hide and avoid dealing with the bad guys.


The Air Force uses the term Defensive Fighting Position, (DFP). We also make what's called Hasty Scrapes, aka quick digging of a shallow depression to provide cover and concealment from mortar, and artillary, and small arms fire. Mainly used on the perimeter of a forward operating base, or area of operations.

@Sniper- Regarding your profile. Hunters justify hunting by saying they eat what the kill. Did you eat the Zebra? It taste like chicken? .. Or beef?
 Double Cabin
Joined: 11/29/2004
Msg: 37
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Would u date at guy or marry guy who is in the military?
Posted: 10/9/2005 7:59:13 AM
Sniper, such vociferous anger speaks of guilt. With all due respect:

As the son of a decorated WW II Staff Sergeant your comment on foxholes I find odd to say the least. When you are fighting an extremely outclassed enemy you have the luxury of this psychotic bravado. When you fight an enemy with comprable technology and logistical support lets see the level of this bravado. Until then, I am grateful for the service of all of you, even the angry self absorbed ones like yourself going through life with blinders on. good soldiers do everything they can to live and fight other days.

The military is not immune to the problems of the world. Young people, all people struggle with fidelity whether their other is in the bed next to them or in the sand over seas. Why you choose to insult women here without acknowledging the ones keeping the faith and the men worthy of blame again speaks to myopic guilt in my kenning. Look within once and a while man.
 Copperypeach
Joined: 5/26/2003
Msg: 38
Would u date at guy or marry guy who is in the military?
Posted: 10/9/2005 9:51:57 AM
[yeah that one does go both ways. my wife cheated on me every time i left. it really is hard to find a woman that will remain faithful when your gone for months. i saw it happen all the time in the navy. it didn't matter what rank they were either. officers and enlisted. you could always tell what ships were going out by the wives that showed up at the clubs.]


But bugsybears, I'm sure you also know how some (not all, Ladies) of the sailors take their rings off as soon as the brow is lifted, or worse, start pre-deployment shopping for a "sea-spouse" a few months before we deploy. It goes both ways. People are people and it boils down to an individual's morals, and character...or lack thereof. Let's not put all the focus on wayward women. There are plenty of men that are true the entire cruise and there are plenty that should be drop kicked into space. Most of the men I get hit on are married and senior ranking (or super young and single, but that's another thread).
 Celadon
Joined: 10/9/2005
Msg: 39
Would u date at guy or marry guy who is in the military?
Posted: 10/9/2005 1:15:57 PM
some would, some would not.

Some Military guys are married, some aint.

whatever the answer is, it's not going to help you in any ways.
 Lodovica
Joined: 10/3/2005
Msg: 40
Would u date at guy or marry guy who is in the military?
Posted: 10/9/2005 2:05:17 PM
I don't think I would. I think that I already have difficulties understanding every day men, but a military man is something even more complicated and I don't think our personalities would fit. Also, most messages I get from men in the army etc, are of a sexual nature. I can understand they might be frustrated, but still it is not my cup of tea.
 justatease
Joined: 10/8/2005
Msg: 41
Would u date at guy or marry guy who is in the military?
Posted: 10/9/2005 2:07:09 PM
One word simple answer


YES! and YES! to both questions.
 steve93437
Joined: 2/4/2005
Msg: 42
Would u date at guy or marry guy who is in the military?
Posted: 10/9/2005 4:05:31 PM

I don't think I would. I think that I already have difficulties understanding every day men, but a military man is something even more complicated and I don't think our personalities would fit.


Funny you made this comment. Most the women who are familiar with the life of a military spouse will tell you it's easy street. You get very nice base housing, kinda like a gated community with bad-ass security guards to keep the bad peeps out. Free electricity, water, and gas. These bases are self-sufficient, meaning they have everything a small town has. Cheap everything, from Daycare, to Airline travel, Disney Tickets, you name it, it's cheaper on base. Plus, no tax. If you decide you want to live in town, they pay your rent.

Add to that the support you get from the military member's unit, especially while deployed. Free video/phone calls overseas. Free routine maintenance for the family vehicle, they mow your lawn, etc... The pay isn't great, but the benefits are designed in such a way to allow the service member to keep his mind on his job, without worrying about his family.


Also, most messages I get from men in the army etc, are of a sexual nature. I can understand they might be frustrated, but still it is not my cup of tea.


As for the sexual frustration. Most in the military are at a young age, and naturally full of testosterone.
 Lisa1973
Joined: 12/11/2004
Msg: 43
Would u date at guy or marry guy who is in the military?
Posted: 10/9/2005 6:17:33 PM
I was "common law" for 8 years with a man who was Air Force and not once did I ever cheat!! We just grew apart...Which was sad becuase it was a lifestyle I loved. I felt important as a military wife...Not to say I don't now...but it was a totally different lifestyle that no one else can understand or judge until they do it!! There is so much support there that your husband going away is like him being on course...You can still talk to him...Not as much mind you but you learn that it's a way of life you are either cut out for or your not...If I could find a loyal man of my own and he was in the military I would never turn it down...See not all women need to keep their legs shut...sometimes it's the men that are tempted by these slutty homewreckers that need to keep their zippers up...that was my case....I was loyal as Hell and look where it got me...LMAO...I am not bitter but I just don't like to be stereotyped when cheating is a non gender specific trait!! There are many service members who get deployed and cheat their asses off....not to start anything .....I am just saying it happens to the best of us all!

So yea....to keep on topic...been there done that......would for sure do it again!!
 BambiWoods
Joined: 7/21/2005
Msg: 44
Would u date at guy or marry guy who is in the military?
Posted: 10/9/2005 6:22:31 PM
only if he's as hot as heftymon


~j/k~


on a serious note, it probably wouldn't make a difference. I have never dated anyone in the military so i don't know what this would be like
 jimi77
Joined: 7/13/2004
Msg: 45
Would u date at guy or marry guy who is in the military?
Posted: 10/9/2005 6:25:42 PM
well I don't know about the military.. but she sure ^^ made me salute. J/k
 Lisa1973
Joined: 12/11/2004
Msg: 46
Would u date at guy or marry guy who is in the military?
Posted: 10/9/2005 6:30:23 PM
Free electricity, water, and gas. These bases are self-sufficient, meaning they have everything a small town has. Cheap everything, from Daycare, to Airline travel, Disney Tickets, you name it, it's cheaper on base. Plus, no tax. If you decide you want to live in town, they pay your rent.

I asssume you are american...Cuz the bases in canada are not like that!! Yes rent is cheaper on base for a house but we had to pay our hydro...oil and other household bills...If we lived off base that was our choice but rent was NOT paid for...Or discounted!! we were Civi off base...No special treatment here in canada!! you lucky americans!! We paid tax on anything bought on base...and it was not cheaper than the other grocery stores!! Air line tickets were discounted and there were places to go. Going to the movies on base was cheaper...I never had to use the daycare..But it was always the rumour that american military had the life...I guess it was true!!
 froggy_30
Joined: 9/14/2005
Msg: 47
Would u date at guy or marry guy who is in the military?
Posted: 10/9/2005 6:34:51 PM
I really like military men. Not because of the sexy uniforms (although that helps, haha), but because in my experience they tend to be strong and independant, all qualities that I appreciate. However, to respond to "how many women could keep their legs closed"? Once again, it has been my experience that it is the men who have a hard time doing this! For myself that wouldn't be a problem since I am comfortable with commitment and all that entails. So, in short, yes I would date or marry a military man but he would have to be pretty special to sway my thoughts based on my previous experiences.
 steve93437
Joined: 2/4/2005
Msg: 48
Would u date at guy or marry guy who is in the military?
Posted: 10/9/2005 6:38:33 PM
@lisa1973,

You would be amazed at the benefits. My Ex didn't realize it until we had divorced, and she began living on the economy. She saw her check, and the significant one I send her monthly go poof!--real quick. Did I mention flying free on all military aircraft, even to exotic locations world-wide? What's nice is you keeps all these benefits after retirement, with the exception of base housing.
 Cubano
Joined: 8/29/2005
Msg: 49
Would u date at guy or marry guy who is in the military?
Posted: 10/9/2005 6:47:44 PM
Here's a piece of advice: Never get involved with ANY guy who spends a great deal of time away from home..no matter what line of work he is involved in. Doing anything else is asking for heartache...
 Cubano
Joined: 8/29/2005
Msg: 50
Would u date at guy or marry guy who is in the military?
Posted: 10/9/2005 6:53:33 PM
Didn't ANYONE teach the ladies not to mess with the guys that are always away from home???
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