| | So You Have Fallen in Love With Someone That is Married...Now What? Page 2 of 5 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) | | People people people....read the rest of my postings...I myself and me are NOT having a fling with a married guy! PERIOD...LOL....however, I've been approached by many and I thought it would be an interesting subject....read the WHOLE thread....golly gee whiz.....I mean come on!!! LOL | |
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HB2
| | Joined: 5/11/2005
Msg: 27 | |
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| So You Have Fallen in Love With Someone That is Married...Now What?
Posted: 10/11/2005 10:19:41 AM | OK...here's a good idea...put that it's not you in the initial post...I at times do not take the time to read all of the posts...I post my opinion...so had you not pointed that out I wouldn't have known.
My advice stays. If "they" know the person is married.."They" should stay the hell away until that person figures out what they are doing. Period!
Sorry for the confusion. ;) | |
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| So You Have Fallen in Love With Someone That is Married...Now What?
Posted: 10/11/2005 10:26:35 AM | I fell in love with my best friend at work, though I knew he was married and lived not too far from me. I didn't push him to leave his wife and family for me, nor did I do the wild thang with him. I knew in my heart of hearts if he was to cheat on his wife with me, nothing would stop him from doing the same to me, and I certainly didn't want to get caught up with that bad scene. We never crossed that line, knowing how bad the consequences would be. My X called his wife anonymously and gave her the heads up that we were involved, out of his jealousy and nastiness. (Sooooo NOT TRUE!!) I had absolutely no intention of destroying his marriage or life, and wouldn't have put him through that mess for all the tea in China. He was my best friend, and we enjoyed all our convos and company. We never went out together, but would email each other when not at work, which his wife discovered after her call from my X. We had been mailing each other jokes and pix and generally just kibbitzing and making each other laugh. She tried to dump him on me and left him for a couple of weeks, which hurt him very badly.
We still wave to each other when we see the other somewhere, but we no longer talk for fear that she gets the wrong impression again. I still love him for the kind giving caring friendship that we had and lost, but that chapter of my life is firmly closed now.
I didn't specifically go after a relationship with a married man and don't ever want one neither. "Nothing good comes from loving a married man" Hugs Wes, hope you are well. | |
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| So You Have Fallen in Love With Someone That is Married...Now What?
Posted: 10/11/2005 10:28:01 AM | What about the married woman?
I have been chatting with a lady for about 3 months now, her profile say's seperated but she lives in the same house. she say's they are stil friends and she still does his cooking & cleaning . She claims there is no love in the relationship & no sex for about a year. And she say's he drinks all the time. Her and I seem to "click" & we both can't wait to meet in person. She has responsebilities and lives about 5 hours away.
Is seperated & living in the same house kind of like being married?  | |
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HB2
| | Joined: 5/11/2005
Msg: 32 | |
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| So You Have Fallen in Love With Someone That is Married...Now What?
Posted: 10/11/2005 10:32:51 AM | | you were involved with him (Sooooo TRUE!!). ("I fell in love with my best friend at work ..."). Any emotional attachment you have with another human being qualifies as a relationship, and whether or not there was any physical/sexual play is inconsequential. Desire for another qualifies as cheating (and no i dont mean a passive appreciation of the beauty of another - i mean pure unadulterated desire for one particular (married) individual, whether you act on it or not. | |
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HB2
| | Joined: 5/11/2005
Msg: 34 | |
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| So You Have Fallen in Love With Someone That is Married...Now What?
Posted: 10/11/2005 10:41:13 AM | | well in my opinion if you decided to get romantically involved with someone who's married...you are setting yourself up for a fall...I mean think about it...If they were unfaithful to the person they are married to...why the hell would they be to you.... and even if he/she did leave whoever it was for you...you will always have a doubt in your mind that the same thing could be happening to you, you can play with fire...but 9 times out of 10 you get burned.... | |
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| So You Have Fallen in Love With Someone That is Married...Now What?
Posted: 10/11/2005 10:47:23 AM | | I'll be more careful with my initial wording next time, but I love to discuss contiversial subjects as I find them stimulating and educational for not only myself but for others as well. I think that these types of subjects could help many people to think twice before getting hurt and hurting others in doing so. I once heard that 70% of the men on dating sites are just playing around and are married or in a relationship. I have no idea if there was any truth to the statstics that I was quoted but it would be very interesting to know the true facts as I am earnestly searching for a partner and I know that many here are too. | |
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| So You Have Fallen in Love With Someone That is Married...Now What?
Posted: 10/11/2005 10:55:22 AM | | i wouldnt doubt if those stats are accurate. technology has made it too convenient to surreptitiously play the field (it all seems rather dark to me), BUT ... there are good ppl as well. Just have to set up your virus scanner to ultra-sensitive. | |
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| So You Have Fallen in Love With Someone That is Married...Now What?
Posted: 10/11/2005 11:19:13 AM | WOW 70% I swear to BOB if any guy lied to me and was really married...well...let's just say it would be really ugly. Man if you are married and you aren't happy get a divorce...this goes for both male and female..and to the above poster..with the g/f who's living with her husband....RUN NOW! She's still married and you are gonna get in over your head.
Man some people really suck! | |
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| So You Have Fallen in Love With Someone That is Married...Now What?
Posted: 10/11/2005 11:29:51 AM | | Again let me explain my "relationship" with my best friend. I did not desire him in that way. If you saw him you'd understand why. It was his personality and wonderful insight and caring intelligent way about him that first drew me to him. We were best friends for a couple of years and didn't cross the line once. I did not want to lose my friendship with him and was content with our relationship. He did not cheat with me cuz he knew I didn't go for that. I have my morals thank you very much. I still loved him as I do with my lady friends. I'd like to think that I was as good a friend to them as they were to me. I think I loved him more cuz he was my BEST friend. If that qualifies as cheating in peoples' eyes then I guess I'm guilty then. | |
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| So You Have Fallen in Love With Someone That is Married...Now What?
Posted: 10/11/2005 11:32:58 AM | It always amazes me when I hear stories about people "falling in love" in what appears to be against their will!!!
I can honestly say that I've never unwillingly fallen in love with anyone and can't understand how that happens in the first place!
Love takes time and effort to grow, it doesn't just "happen" like lust or infatuation...It also requires committment. So if the person is committed elsewhere...it's NOT love, sorry to say...
As for being with someone who's married, taken or otherwise "occupied" again...really simple, wish them the best and move along!....D. | |
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| So You Have Fallen in Love With Someone That is Married...Now What?
Posted: 10/11/2005 11:42:53 AM | | I met someone online a few months back, we started talking, he said he was separated and I knew he wasn't ready for a relationship but friendship wasn't out of the picture right? Ha! We started hanging out, he seemed well adjusted so I thought why not? Ha! I found out a few weeks later, he was still working on his marriage. Ha ha ha! The joke was on me. | |
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| So You Have Fallen in Love With Someone That is Married...Now What?
Posted: 10/11/2005 12:22:03 PM | | married or otherwise occupied men can be very devious. and regarding those who admit they are married, i've heard all their cheesy lines from female friends who have shared with me. my marriage isnt working out, my wife has no passion, i'm leaving her, et al. for all the women out there - when you get involved with someone and it progresses to the physical part of the relationship you should make it a habit of sharing your first intimate moment at THEIR house. Then you can find out for sure whether they are single or not. and why do women's spider sense not tingle when a man makes a cheesy excuse for not giving up their home phone number???????? | |
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| So You Have Fallen in Love With Someone That is Married...Now What?
Posted: 10/11/2005 2:57:43 PM | I haven't had this particular problem although i know that some of my friends have...Evidently it appears that some men are capable of previously unPLUMBED depths and unSCALED heights of deception!!!!
And women, too....!!!
For me it's simply a case of the feeling that SOMEthing's not...quite...right....Also...I just don't involve myself with guys who are seperated, married, or even just "suspiciously unavailable"...
Going to their place is only one way of discovering the truth...There are many ways, and mostly it's just about keeping your eyes and ears open for any anomalies...
I mean really, if he's NEVER avaiable on week ends, or "doesn't have " ahome phone #...? Well, it makes you wonder....or else it SHOULD!!!!
I'm glad that's never been my "thing"...I like my men EMOTIONALLY unavailable!!! But PHYSICALLY present!!! D. | |
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| So You Have Fallen in Love With Someone That is Married...Now What?
Posted: 10/11/2005 4:01:01 PM | Prepare for the possibility of being named as a co-respondent in the divorce when you choose to be with a married person.
^^^^^^^^^^^^ if u do get involved with a married man & that man get divorced u have 2 make sure 100% that the wife knows absolutley f*** all about u & then you'll b safe from that happening 2 u
a have friends who have embarked on an affair with a married man & they have all had their hearts broken so my advice is DONT DO IT unless you wanna lose everything xx | |
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| So You Have Fallen in Love With Someone That is Married...Now What?
Posted: 10/11/2005 8:37:18 PM | WARNING!
As one posted on this thread - if he dosen't give you his home phone number - RED FLAG!
HOWEVER...THIS SAID...I don't openly give out my home phone number for the simple reason that I am a single mom with a young child...giving your number allows the person to identify your name and address if you are listed...AND I AM NOT MARRIED!!! - so keep that in mind!
I lived the "married man" experience - whereby his reason for NOT giving me his home number (had his cell and work number) was because he was from another culture - stated that his mother lived with him - was from the old school - and it was against his religion to "date" if not yet "divorced" and since he was only separated - mom would never understand and it would give him grief...well after many conversations and my investigative mind at work - I finally made him fess up - he was married - living in a loveless marriage - no sharing rooms - no sex blah blah blah! - well it wasn't such a short story and that easy...but please be careful and beware of men not giving their home number once you've reached a trusting stage! | |
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| So You Have Fallen in Love With Someone That is Married...Now What?
Posted: 7/17/2007 2:09:22 AM | Hehe... gonna play devils advocate here.
Good guy. Good girl. Shes married. Kicking around a divorce prior too the two talking. Life never really panned out and its a personal situation. Good guy meets good girl. Things click.
Im not talking about the a-hole or the trick that just steps out just to step out. Im talking about legit people that find themselves in failed relationships. They need out. They have a life not worth loving. People make mistakes. Amid this life, they find someone. They connect. Words fly and emotions grow. They grow. A single woman and a married man, a single man and a married woman trip over a reality that they cant deny. She/He was headed there anyways, but lacked the final nudge.
They talk and email. They find they have things in common or a spark is found. What if they can make it for the next 50 years? What if they can only make it 30 till life takes away their chances? What if they burn through those 50 or 30 years because society says its wrong and they get labeled a harlot or a**** What if people on the internet change the ideas of a perfect situation for a couple to spend the rest of their life in happiness?
Like I said, just playing the devils advocate. | |
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| So You Have Fallen in Love With Someone That is Married...Now What?
Posted: 7/17/2007 2:30:08 AM | hi.liked your comments. as someone who is currently in the situation of seeing a married man, i can see your point
i started chatting to a guy just before xmas online, and he was completely honest and upfront with me, told me he was married and she was 2 months pregnant.we started chatting now and then and got on really well.
we then met up and few times.by this stage we were talking on the phone a couple of times a day, and there was about 40 text messages a day flying across the air waves. i can honestly say that i was never looking for this to happen, and we are now both in the situation of thinking what 2 do next.i have fallen head over heels in love with this guy, but i know he will never leave his wife, and yet i still havent got the strength to walk away. i know im gonna b the one getting hurt in the end, but i still cant seem to end it, even if commen sense and logic is telling me to. | |
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JWA
| | Joined: 5/21/2005
Msg: 50 | |
| So You Have Fallen in Love With Someone That is Married...Now What?
Posted: 7/17/2007 2:33:15 AM | ^^^^^WHY do some people insist in digging up threads from TWO YEARS ago and posting to them once again??? After that much time the topic or issue has been exhausted or worn out which is usually why it was abandonded all those months or years ago!!
The points raised by this "new" contribution are no more valid than if they were posted while this topic was current----it's still wrong to "fall in love" with a married person. End that BEFORE you try beginning anything new!! | |
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