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| How many single dads actually take care of there kids..
Posted: 11/14/2005 8:43:28 PM | I take care of my son, and always have. Now, the difference (and advantage) for me was that I lived a long time in South America, and nannys are quite cheap down there. I had a chica with us for several years. She cooked, did the chores and took care of my son. I paid her about 150 bucks a month, and she lived with us.
I know I had done well without her, but hey, I welcomed all the help I could find. | |
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| How many single dads actually take care of there kids..
Posted: 11/14/2005 10:00:10 PM | I got really lucky or I would of just took my boys and ran... I dont play the court crap. So when the twins were about five she let me have them..... unlike a lot of good fathers i know getting screwed with the couple hours a week and every other weekend.. for the good fathers thats bullshit.. My boys are 19 now and still living with me. (yes they have jobs and yes they pay rent... ha ha). Its sad when emotions and bitterness enter the childs lives. And we call ourselves intelligent adults..... My boys and I lived on little but had the time of our lives, wouldnt take it back for anything...except to do it again.... | |
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| How many single dads actually take care of there kids..
Posted: 11/15/2005 8:48:49 AM |  I applause everyone of you great men
My twins dad has NEVER seen them in 11 years..
It is wonderful to see men caring about their children and they DO exist.
And NOT all MEN are 'DEAD BEAT DADS'
Woo Hoo!!!!!
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| How many single dads actually take care of there kids..
Posted: 11/15/2005 12:51:31 PM | | I have full custody of my 17 yr old daughter.... she's been living with me for going on 4 yrs now... my 14 yr old son lives with his mom... I see him every other weekend for the weekend.. It's great seeing my kids grow and mature into adulthood... altho I get to be there to hear all the teen dramas... which more often them not.. comical... yeah... tons of fathers raise there kids... and do a damned good job of it.. if I do say so myself LOL | |
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| How many single dads actually take care of there kids..
Posted: 11/15/2005 5:15:54 PM | | I have sole custody of my two kids 11 and 13. I had to fight 5 yrs to be able to make that statement but wouldn't change my life in anyway. My kids are my life and I don't even know how I would handle it if I was limited to the time I get to see them. | |
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| How many single dads actually take care of there kids..
Posted: 11/15/2005 6:00:12 PM | | I just wanted to add something to this, i was lucky enough to meet someone that has custody of his daughter and when I saw them together it made me smile, hes an awesome dad and shes such a happy child, he has so much on his plate yet he pulls off being a great dad...All you guys should be very proud | |
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| How many single dads actually take care of there kids..
Posted: 11/15/2005 9:11:16 PM | its soooo good to see good dads and men who are proud of what they have!!!
I wish my sons dad was like that, as much as I couldn't bare to be away from my son much, I would do it if it meant his dad was around and taking care of him and spending time with him...
I really want to be friends with my sons dad (as much as I hate him sometimes!) I just think it would make raising him TOGETHER soo much easier!!! but thats not going to happen anytime soon, I've tried ....
GOOD TO HEAR about all the good daddies :) | |
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| How many single dads actually take care of there kids..
Posted: 11/15/2005 9:22:39 PM | Funloving...while they certainly do, I've always taken huge exception to the term 'dead beat dad', even in reference. An analogy would be like refering to someone in a stereotypically derogatory fashion, while suggesting that you don't subscribe to it. The more we use derogatory or prejudicial terms, even in jest or to make a point meant to be a positive one, the more we propogate the problem. While no one could ever consider me in that category relative to financial support or seeing and being involved in my childrens' lives, it still bothers me to even hear the term. How many people of 'colour' even want to hear the 'n' word, in any context? Not many. So...no offense to you but let's not use that term, k? :) I understand that there are divorced Dad's who don't live up to being a 'Dad' but let's find another way to expresss it, shall we? :)
As for the original posting, simply cherish every second you have with your child and welcome them with open arms and a warm smile upon their return; we all know the pain, particularly at the begining, of being separated from our children by divorce necessity. Funny, for 9 years now, I've had my 2 virtually every weekend and then some. How often I would hear people say: "how nice that you see your children that often". Half the time isn't often, it's sad as it's 50% less than you otherwise would but you make the best of it and over time it all works itself out; it has to. Clearly a quality over quantity issue.
Now where the heck did all this come from at midnight??? 2 more cents, I guess. | |
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| How many single dads actually take care of there kids..
Posted: 11/15/2005 9:29:09 PM | I will use deadbeat to refer to any dad or mom who doesn't stand up and take care of their kids, no matter what!!!
its one thing to be born black and have to deal with the "n" word and another thing to CHOOSE to walk out on your children!!!
and I'm not referring to people who have crazy ex's and are being kept from their children I'm referring to people who choose to stay away from them (like my sons dad) | |
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| How many single dads actually take care of there kids..
Posted: 11/15/2005 9:31:51 PM | Yeah....people that choose to stay away and not want to see his/her children make me sick....I dont hate people, but those people truly disgust me and I would for sure despise them....still hard to use that hate word | |
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| How many single dads actually take care of there kids..
Posted: 11/15/2005 9:39:33 PM | | Odd reaction but you're entitled, as I am to the negativity that the word propogates. I clearly wasn't arguing about the pitifull existence of someone who doesn't fulfill their parental obligations; in fact, I'm shocked that people even need to 'feel' obliged, rather, they should want to care for and be involved in their children's lives because of the love they feel. I was merely suggesting the term has ugly undertones for all, rather than the few. But...as you wish. | |
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| How many single dads actually take care of there kids..
Posted: 11/16/2005 1:07:09 AM | I feel for you bonefunny. My ex and I have two children, my daughter(11) lives with me and my son(14) lives with his dad. My son chose to live there when he turned 12 I didn't dispute his desision because I thought it was important for him to have the male bonding with his father because he was so young when my ex left. Unfortunately by letting him move to his dad's he now lives 10 hours away, so I only get to see him one weekend every other month because when I go visit it cost me close to 400.00 for the weekend. My ex no longer pays support because we both are raising a child. I work full time to provide everthing I can for my daughter. My ex comes here to see my daughter 2 weekends a month because he has family close by that he can stay with, but leaves our son at home with his step mom. Just for the record my ex decided to move far away not me.
I agree there are probably as many dead beat moms out there as dead beat dads. Please don't lump me in with that group because I don't get to spend time with my son. I call him often and tell how much I love him and miss him. When he moved to his dad's I photo copied my hand, he still has it in his wallet and whenever he is missing me he take it out so he can hold my hand and know that he is always with me in my heart.
For all you men and women out there who are doing what's best for your kids regadless of the bitterness between the two parents, I take my hat off to you because I know how hard it is to pick up the pieces when a relationship ends and not let the bitterness take over.
I wish all you single parents out there the best of luck.
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| How many single dads actually take care of there kids..
Posted: 11/16/2005 1:41:01 AM | | My mother 'ran away' when I was 13, said she was going to my aunts for a trip and never came home, we got the random phone call and thats about it... My dad stayed and cared for us for 5 years now... im the middle out of 5 children and we were all living with my dad for a few years after my mom left... My dad even got remarried and took in his wives 3 children... just because the single parent is male doesnt mean he wont take care of his own... and in my dads case someone elses too... | |
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meme87
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Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 73 | |
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| How many single dads actually take care of there kids..
Posted: 11/16/2005 3:32:51 PM | | i see my daughter at least 6 times in a week, and when she leaves i dont feel as happy anymore, she's the only one that i truely know loves me. me and my ex get along ok but now she is threatening to move outta state, about 10hrs away and it tears me up inside and i dread that day coming. but i've made up my mind that since i have a job in which i can transfer to other states im gonna move also cause i cant go on without her being here as much as possible. i know im not the best dad but i try to work on it. | |
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| How many single dads actually take care of there kids..
Posted: 11/16/2005 4:57:05 PM | I have my daughter every other weekend, I drive 285 miles each way to be with her and would not give it up for the world. I also get her 3 weeks in the summer. This is all by agreement and I get her when she turns 12.
She is my life and I would do anything for her. I take care of her monitarily. I pay child support AND her school meals AND her extracurricular activites. And I have NO regrets. | |
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