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| How many single dads actually take care of there kids..
Posted: 3/22/2006 9:45:09 PM | I haven't read this whole thread but I do have a bit of a unique situation here.
I have a 15 year old daughter who lives with me full time. I share custody and until she was about 11, she lived with her mom. We agreed that I would provide more structure and discipline than her mother would be able to provide. Her mom is not crazy about the idea but she sees it's for the best. Now that my daughter is 15, she's spending more time with her mom because teenage girls need their mom... Plus she's a decent mom, so why not right?
Now, here's the kicker. I also have a 12 year old son that has always lived with me full time. Different mom. His mom has never been in the picture since the period of time I spent $25,000 to get custody of him, only to see her not even fulfill her visitation schedule. She just wanted to see me spend the money. Hey, she wouldn't even cross the street to watch his hockey games when he was 6...
So, I have a bit of everything here and life is good; has been for many years. I also have a GREAT support structure with my parents who have always been there to help out. Couldn't have done this without them. My kids are well adjusted and well behaved. They both work hard and play hard... like me.
Anyway, that's my story. I guess I'm telling you all this because it was not always rosy. Hard work, always looking for the best solution for your kids, and tenacity are the keys to success in such situations. No matter which way you look at it, unless you abandon your kids, you are stuck in this situation for 18 or more years... make the best of it.
That's it... Thanks for listening. | |
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| How many single dads actually take care of there kids..
Posted: 3/26/2006 12:38:09 PM | For the last 10 years I have been raising my 4 kids (currently 21, 20, 13 & 11, 2 boys & 2 girls),on my own, without a penny of child support. After leaving me and the kids (the youngest wasn't even a year old at the time), she got pregnant (she's not sure who the father is). Great message to send to your kids eh?
My middle two don't really have any contact with her. My youngest daughter goes to see her for a weekend every 3 months or so. My oldest son moved in with her last year to babysit for her so she could work (under the table and still not pay any support). Her response to me when I asked for some support was "No. Take me to court, and I'll quit my job and go on welfare, and you'll get nothing" | |
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| How many single dads actually take care of there kids..
Posted: 5/17/2006 4:15:08 PM | | I think it's wonderful that Dad's are raising their children,My two youngest sons are raising their children one has, four,17,14,10 and 6 He does a great job with them..his older brother has three little boys, ages ranging from 10,4,and 2,he recently potty trained the baby,I was a single parent,so when they got custody of their children I warned them it wouldn't be esay being a full time parent and trying to make a living for them too..I'm here to help them when needed ,but that's not unless it's an emergency,I'm so proud of them,They are teaching them the things they need know while being good and loving fathers..to all you Dad's raising your children ....bless you and stay strong ,kids are smart they'll figure you out.. | |
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| How many single dads actually take care of there kids..
Posted: 5/17/2006 5:48:34 PM | I have my two beautiful girls ages 5 & 7 3 days a week....and I'm the one that never misses the extra reading...while she's out carousing all weekend long not doing the reading anytime....its saddens me as the 7 year old understands the lies mommy spews out....but still trying not to tell her what I'd like to and stay above board and let the girls think highly of their mom and her boy"friend" ahem.....its tough but they give me the strength to carry on thru the 3 jobs and no social life that is my world.....oh, yeah 3 years ago she kidnapped the girls when they were 2 & 4 and took them out of the country for 6 months without telling me.....something she did in her first marriage too......a real mother to celebrate......just a couple of dozens of charming things that I won't miss at all about her.....
Guys take one day at a time....do your best...know it will get better.....and don't forget to take care of making yourself happy, as the little things in life are to be appreciate....like watching our kids smile......something that I missed for 6 months not knowing if I'd see them again...every day is truly a gift....
be good
jim   | |
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WNC8
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Joined: 11/17/2005
Msg: 157 | |
| How many single dads actually take care of there kids..
Posted: 5/17/2006 6:52:29 PM | I've got full custody of my two girls, 8 and 5. Mommy was never really a mommy - she really doesn't want them full-time (or even part-time). Live and learn. She burdens herself once a week or two for an overnight. The kids are doing great - better than when mommy lived at home.
Give them love and stability, kids yearn for attention. Wouldn't trade mine for the world. | |
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| Cure for copingus easiersurus
Posted: 5/18/2006 2:11:36 AM | | Knowing you'll see her again in just a few days. Be her dad, be the dad, and be a dad, just as I'm doing. I know it sucks when she leaves and goes home with momma, but be her daddy,leave no room for improvement on some other **stards part. BE THERE FOR HER. | |
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| How many single dads actually take care of there kids..
Posted: 4/10/2007 3:58:41 PM | I must admit--I have been a single Dad for now 6 years & 6 months. I divorced my children's Mom in 2002-but we were apart in 2000. I have had my youngest since he was 22 months old and my older son since he was 4. But totally--I was with both of them since birth--due to me being married to their Mom.
Funny thing--I had to relocate to a new location after Katrina hit the lower part of Mississippi. This was in October 2005. It's now April 2007, I am not thought of as divorced. I have had Women time and time again question me--"Are you divorced? "Where is your wife? "Who takes care of the kids at night? I am saying now, "What the hell?
How does a Man deal with this? My kids go to school dressed correct--I am a big part of their academic life. What's a big thing for me and a big blessing--I was in the Army for more than I care to say--then worked for the Postal service. I had to do a disability retirement in 1998. So I am home most days after my gym sessions. I cook, I clean and care for my sons---both of them. Their Mom lives over 600 miles from us.
Once again--no one thinks I am the Man or the Parent who irons and keeps our home going. My Mom lives in NYC--slightly over 1200 miles. So who do I have?? Me--myself and I.....Lord help the Women who think you have to have a set of breasts and a college degree to raise children---Peace   | |
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| How many single dads actually take care of there kids..
Posted: 4/10/2007 6:43:03 PM | | I know this one is for the men, but I split custody with my ex 50/50 and it is working out ok. I miss the little guy terribly when he is gone but I know how great of a father he has and I would never deny my son or him the bond that they have and need. I am thankful everyday that our split went as well as it could have and that we are both looking out for what is best for our son. | |
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| I Know A Man Who.......
Posted: 4/13/2007 9:39:01 PM | | Shares 50/50 custody of the children...I think it is great that men are taking care of their children...Yes, there are woman who are "deadbeats." I feel sorry about this because children need both parents in their lives to develop. But, if both parents are not available, anyone of the other gender can fill that role, as long as the parent agrees. | |
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| I Know A Man Who.......
Posted: 7/31/2007 2:17:27 PM | This is true that it is good to have both involved. However, I share 50/50 and it is extremely hard
at times. An hour before my son goes back and he starts to get sad and cry. I won't see him
for an entire week. I almost stayed with his mom just so I could see him every day, but I know
in my heart that would not have worked. All we can do is provide our children with the tools they
need to grow up and live their lives. | |
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| I Know A Man Who.......
Posted: 7/31/2007 2:56:51 PM | I have full time custody of my son (13).
I really do find that I put so much time in with him that I get used to him, and actually depend on him being around. He does go to his mothers house about 1-2 days every couple weeks. I find that I spend so much time planning around him, that when he does go to his mothers house I feel a loss.
It is heart breaking and causes me to get very lonely..
I don't think there is really no way to deal with this.
I would say getting a hobby or occupy yourself with work is one way to distract yourself from them not being there.
I figure it is a way for me to get used to him being gone and prepare myself for when he goes off to college.
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| How many single dads actually take care of there kids..
Posted: 7/31/2007 3:13:11 PM | | Single dad here also..full time. It's been me and my girl since she was two months old. I never realized how empty my life was until she came along. She constantly makes me laugh so hard I come to tears. Right before Father's day, when I picked her up from daycare she told the teacher...right in front of me...that daddy was her best friend. Now I ask you...how is a manly man supposed to keep from tearing up when something like that happens. | |
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| How many single dads actually take care of there kids..
Posted: 8/1/2007 5:55:18 AM | | Single dad here aswell. I got three kids that live me me FULL TIME. They don't even visit thier mother. Listen to how sad this is..........She had decided that one day she wanted to be a teenager again and just walked out of our lives. She took me to court for custody of them. So we both got our lawyers (hers was free of course) She came to the first hearing and them called me up 2 days later and said "I don't want them" Never to show up in court again. In over a years time she asked to see them 2 times. Tell me how sad is that, that someone could "throw away" thier children for thier own well being. To me that is so ****ed up. My kids don't even ask for her or about her. I have them with me everyday and I wouldn't change it for the world...They are my world, my dreams, they are my everything. Just wanted to past that story along to make you think .."HOLY S**T how could someone do that to children!!!!!!!! HAVE A GREAT DAY ALL!!!!!!!! | |
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OoPpEe
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Joined: 7/28/2007
Msg: 167 | |
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| How many single dads actually take care of there kids..
Posted: 8/2/2007 7:46:50 AM | I can't imagine NOT taking care of my son.
that's just not manly. I was taught growing up that a man is a provider.. especially of his own children.
I don't sleep at night if my son isn't taken care of. | |
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| How many single dads actually take care of there kids..
Posted: 8/2/2007 8:24:08 AM | Can anyone tell me when is a okay time to allow someone to meet your kids ?
Let me give you the heads up before anyone crashes me !
I am a single father 24/7 divorced 2.5 years and my kids are 5 and 9, I have not dated that much to even think about introducing someone yet but if the time comes what do you think the time frame is ? I just started on here a couple of weeks ago and it is very hard to find someone that even wants to talk to a full time father !
Thanks in advance ! | |
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| How many single dads actually take care of there kids..
Posted: 8/2/2007 2:35:36 PM | I am a dad full time of two great kids 6 and 3 and it is going to be hard to work things out but I am so happy that I have my kids in my life and wouldn't want it any other way.But if anyone has some advise I am happy to listen lol | |
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| How many single dads actually take care of there kids..
Posted: 8/2/2007 6:03:12 PM | Have a ten yr old, 24/7/365
She could have him every other weekend but hasn't since April( the court gave her 4 hrs Sat, 4 hrs Sun.) but if HE wants too and she brings him back on time I don't mind.
Has only stopped by 3 times in the evening during the same period of time.
And is ten blocks away | |
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| How many single dads actually take care of there kids..
Posted: 8/3/2007 3:35:29 AM | | I've been taking care of my youngest since she was 8 months old after her mom walked out and not only left her but left her half sister with me ( yes i called the lil girls dad to come get her ) . Since that time i got remarried and as far as my lil one was concerned that was her mom when she walked out in the middle of the night ( true ) it's been me and her since, I take raising a child very serious and have met a couple of ladies who knowing I had a child but still agreed to go out with me only for them to change thier mind about seeing me anymore. But no phone calls no nothing from her so-called mother, My daughter has adjusted to being an only child has has one than more than one time has referred to me as her dad/mom something I take as a complitement. Not all men cop out on thier kids I think it's a 50/50 split on that subject I may be wrong so don't get mad at me ladies for posting that. | |
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| How many single dads actually take care of there kids..
Posted: 8/3/2007 4:20:32 AM | Hey born...You are not wrong for posting that about it being a 50/50 split. We all hear of dead-beat dads......Has anyone really heard of a dead-beat mom?? The past had told us that Mothers are so caring and loving so they would never had done this. Well times have changed and I think courts need to recognize this and stop favoring the women as much. For you ladies that do the right thing God bless you and this is not stated towards you. For the ones that can't handle the responsibility
Tough S**T grow up. That does go for all the men out there aswell...If you make 'em
take care of 'em.....It's called being an adult!!!! !PEACE! | |
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| How many single dads actually take care of there kids..
Posted: 8/3/2007 12:01:59 PM | Hey OP...I take care of my son 100% and I love it, don't know what you could do other than going through the courts(that is if mom is unfit though) but I can totally understand how you feel man, it would kill me to go through what you are doing so major props to ya!
I know this is awful to say and may not be appropriate for this thread (sorry) but alot of guys just move on to a new woman and have more kids to leave the original joint custody behind...AWFUL! | |
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