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| Re: why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 6/30/2004 3:21:14 PM | | Fleric, your not a jerk, your a sweetheart...and from watching and reading your posts, i'd have to say that i think your one of the nicest guys in here, with a nice combination of intelligence humour, and class ; ) | |
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| Re: why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 7/1/2004 6:35:46 AM | | WHY FANKS MADDY... I TRY AND TYPE STUFF THAT I SEE WRITTEN IN THIS HERE BOOK I PURCHASED THE OTHER DAY FROM AN ILLITERATE BLIND FELLOW. ITS DONE WONDERS FOR MY CYBER DATING CHANCES!!! | |
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| Re: why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 7/3/2004 6:07:14 PM | Shame on you ppl....
Nobody tells me how nice and sweet and smart and funny I am....
I try to act like a jerk, but if I were a jerk, ladies would pay attention to me...
Maybe it's that 'ol scorpio "aura of the arcane and mysterious" thing goin'...
LOL y'all. | |
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| Re: why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 7/4/2004 11:20:23 PM | Very interesting! I especially like the part where she says "Nice guys makes a woman feel bored to death". If that were true, than all of you bored women should be dead by now, leaving only smart women capable of CHOOSING (ohh, an actual human trait used by real people in everyday situations) what they want. Sure a strong dumbass guy gets the girl first, but who's there when he's had his fun and dumps you?? Who??? Yep, the nice BORING guy. Thank god for us, 'cause you sure as hell can't get any real sympathy from a girl friend, she's going through the same crap. You NEED us.
The real question is this: Why single men are attracted to pathetic woman who are so easily bored?
(by the way, I am NOT frustrated or anything... ok maybe a little bit. I hate this subject...) | |
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joe93
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Joined: 7/6/2004
Msg: 33 | |
| Re: why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 7/6/2004 6:17:19 PM | I don't think single women are attracted by jerks. They are attracted to guys that are not nice to them. The reason is that guys that are nice to them must really want them, which implies that the guy thinks that he is getting a bargin, i.e. the gril thinks she could probally do much better. If someone is rude to them, this means that they believe that the girl is bellow their standards, which makes the girl think they are getting a barkin.
Its like buying a product that is not advertised and you think the product is so good, it doesn't need any adds.
Sorry for oversimplifing things, but I guess this is the result of taking too many psychology courses that oversimplify everything :))
Speaking from personal experience, when I am not attracted to a gril, she starts mingling around me, when I show interest in her, she starts behaving like she is too good for me :))) | |
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| Re: why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 7/12/2004 8:39:14 PM | | personally i think the nice guy/asshole line is a load of shit. i agree with the whole idea of how you sell yourself. if when i go to the bar, and i'm in a good mood, i'm smiling having a good time, women notice that, and are attracted to that. goes back to self-confidence. women see how you effect others around you, and wanna be apart of that. on the flip side, if i go into a bar, it's been a shitty day, i'm miserable what have you, women will more than likely not want to be around me. who the hell wants to be around some guy who's going to be negative and miserable. so smile and intiate conversation... it's half the battle | |
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Zee
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Joined: 4/11/2004
Msg: 36 | |
| Re: why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 7/12/2004 8:48:01 PM | fireman welcome to the POForum ....
i do agree that women are into confident men, but then thats when we find out they are jerks, go figure - not all confindent men now... are jerks | |
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| Re: why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 7/18/2004 2:42:01 PM | | One thing woman go for is losers and skinny men from what i`ve encounterd they see a guy who is in extreme shape,confidence to the t and all and the woman are either scared or don`t know what to make of it.....Then when someone who `im not attracted to is all over a person like myself who i`m not interested in and if i`m seen with someone like this i`ll here from woman what`s a hot guy like him doing with a girl like her? DUH!!!! cause u good looking woman go for losers that`s why it seems u never see 2 good looking couples any more only stange oposites either the woman like not having competion cause the guy is easier to keep cause he`ll be all over her like glue and she`ll control the relationship but when a woman loses control she`l go for a guy she can control that`s why u see so many attracted woman with boney unatracted guys,word of advice for woman like this school is over and if ur confident with urself u don`t have to control any man to get him to pay attention to u,be urself and drop the act cause i sure don`t fall fo it cause good looking girls are dime a dozen. | |
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| Re: why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 7/19/2004 10:12:01 PM | i have always liked a bit of a challenge in the beginning...there is nothing worse than a guy making it blatantly obvious that he want's to sleep with you...or the silent Sam's who tell you everything you want to hear, act polite and gentlemanly, then at the end of the date, he comes onto you like there's no tommorrow...intelligence and witt is always a first attraction...but a little mystery always keeps you going...Sometimes these kind of guys can come across as jerks, but what's nice about it is that eventually (sometimes) you end up seeing the softer side of that person which ends up making you melt like butter.
There are also those so called "nice guys" you meet that end up turning into jerks...
So either way, you can never really know a person well enough.
Dragon i somewhat agree with what you stated about the body builder types....i don't think i could ever date a male model, or stripper, or a guy who lives for his body...not only do i look at guys like that as being vain but also very feminin. I don't believe all men are like that, but i am speaking for the ones i have met or been introduced too in my time....
Looks are only a small part of it...if the guy grabs me with his personality, then looks are not so important...what i am physically attracted too is not always what every other woman is going to be attracted too...What i am attracted too mentally might be a different thing. | |
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| Re: why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 7/19/2004 10:21:53 PM | | oh and a message for Clarky...women are not always into that overly pumped up and overly confident guy....Just as men aren't always into an overly confident, beautiful woman....In the end, some women are often found with a guy who has more to offer her on a mental level...I don't think i have ever dated a guy, accept for my ex who was extremely good looking to other women,.... but they were always very good looking to me, because of what was shining through the surface... | |
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| Re: why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 7/19/2004 10:25:15 PM | Dragon...you are a very smart woman...This post i found to be so true and i'm sure others would think so too:
I don't believe we are ALL attracted to jerks. Its just that the JERKS, are the ones that will make the first move. If , like many women, the first move is NOT your thing....well , ya give the bugger a chance.
1. Mistake NUMBER ONE
2. You KNOW he's a JERK now, but you have already fallen for all the sweet lines, etc.etc. So now the heart is involved.
3. Head and the heart= Heart wins out in the beginning....which makes the leaving so hard.
4. EVENTUALLY , once the woman wises up enough..She kicks the jerk to the curb.
That was my experience.
Prior to my horrid marriage I ONLY dated the nice, poor guys. They had hearts.
The A**** I married put up a good front...but could not maintain it. And then the truth came to light. But please see point 2. Right now working on finalizing point 4. | |
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| Re: why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 7/20/2004 9:15:32 AM | The fact is, I am both an a$$h0le, and a nice guy. When you speak about Jerks, you are talking about absolutes, there is no such thing as an absolute (except maybe that there are no absolutes, but a that is a whole other discussion) There are always redeeming features in every one. I suppose what makes a nice guy or a jerk depends on the ratio of good features to bad features. When women (in a general sense) fall for a Jerk, I am sure he was not a jerk right away. When women (again in the general sense) fail to show interest in a nice guy they have obviously not done what is necessary to attract attention (what ever the hell that could be) I think Dragons point 2 and 3 is the crux.
A nice guy a "sensitive" guy will be not so eager to get involved with the heart right away, lest they suffer the heartbreak that women (in general, [you know what I am getting tired of saying it ever time just assume the "in general" from now on]) accuse Jerks of causing. Sensitive nice guys also have the added burden of not wanting to cause the woman any distress should it not work out.
Where as "Jerks" know that getting the heart of a woman (ahem) will always bend things in their direction.
Here in lies the problem. More or less a woman wants to have her heart involved... the sooner the better (unless tempered by wisdom ALA Dragon & Madelaina). But even then nice guys get a "cold fish" response. It is a patience game getting involved with a nice guy would be my guess, some have it some don't. Maybe I am just thinking about it too much. | |
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| Re: why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 7/20/2004 10:44:24 AM | Xerogravity
Have to some what disagree with you a bit here. I am a nice man and have been told that many times but I do tend to get too involved to fast and well get hurt. So not even when I go out I do not approach but I do get approach my self some times. to me it is a two way street also if woman want a nice guy then go find on and talk to him as we just like you woman get tired of the so called games or the cold fish deal . I also think woman tend to go for excitement then later want it and nice well that is with very few persons in life as most men also want the same excitement and still a woman you can take home to mom
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| Re: why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 7/20/2004 12:35:29 PM | | A valid point, but are you saying that after being burned in the past you do not approach women more cautiously than you did before the experience. See a "jerk" would not care. I am betting that you do. | |
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| Re: why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 7/20/2004 7:02:59 PM | | Xerogravity; your almost right. From the pat it is why I do not and the thing I learned is I hate dating still as much as I did 26 years ago. but your right I do care and that’s what keeps me at lest out now and then just do not ever want to do what was done to me nor do I want it again for my self ether | |
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| Culture
Posted: 8/4/2004 1:27:15 PM | From my point of view, women generally look for signs of security. What they interpret as signs of security depends on their background, their education, their current situation etc.
For some women of very little refinement, security probably means boisterous and aggressive behavior, or physical strength. For other ones, it may be seen into evident wealth. Other women find signs of security in learning, understanding and/or emotional stability; other again prefer creativity and imagination (cf. Roberto Benigni in "Life is Beautiful").
Biology has very little to say about it. Nature may give us the DRIVE, but it is us humans that find (or contrive) CULTURAL OBJECTS for this drive and eventually turn it into a DESIRE.
Unfortunately, there are ample pockets of American culture that promote physical strength and aggressiveness (not to talk about the obsession with wealth); but it is not like that everywhere. Most probably, a refined fellow may have little to share with people at a bar and may end shutting up for the whole evening; but if he can play an instrument or sing, there is open mike night... | |
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Ray38
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Joined: 7/26/2004
Msg: 46 | |
| Re: why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 8/4/2004 2:17:48 PM | I don't know if it's that whole Darwism cave-man idea that makes women attracted to the "Jerk", but it is seen often or not..
I think that they are initially attracted to their confidence and a sense of security but a good women doesn't necessarily stay with a jerk I like to think anyways...They end up settling for a happy balance of a "Nice" guy who is also confident and decent.
I think that if you are one of the good guys, you can't be a Wallflower, you have to be made more approachable, and you have to take a page out of the "Jerk's" book and make more first approaches. ( I too have to follow my own advise lol).
It seems that when I was young, I didn't care about women ..Not that I was a Jerk, but when I had that "I don't care attitude", I had more luck.....Now I matured, respect women to death, and consider myself a "Nice Guy", I can't seem to put it together..Must be "Kharma" striking back..lol | |
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| Re: why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 8/4/2004 2:30:04 PM | | it is true, have you ever seen hot girls with smart geeks. no, it's because they are boring but nice. and you will see them with crazy looking pierced and tattooed guys all the time | |
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| Re: why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 8/4/2004 4:04:50 PM | It is a simple reason. Most "jerks" are acting. They rarely show their real selves. They use "coolness" or "machoness" or "wealthness" as a cover. If a man has some object they value more than a person, (usually an expensive car) they are a jerk. They can control an object, they can only control another person thru the threat of violence or abanbonment. If a guy is more upset about his car getting scratched than he cares about a lady getting bruised, his a jerk.
I am a smart geek. I just happen to be an artist so I can cover my geeky-ness with style... | |
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| Re: why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 8/5/2004 8:08:53 PM |
Women are attracted to jerks because they trained to do that in Middle and High School. Girls are taught to chase and idolize the jocks at Pep Rallies which become the most popular and most handsome people.These guys realize that have any woman they want so they stop caring about women's feelings.
Marriage has also become about being in love instead of what it was centuries ago which was about finding a man who is a good provider. Men today who tend to become rich were the boys that got turned down for dates to the Prom. Some woman is probably out there kicking herself for not going to the Prom with Bill Gates. Women are paying too much attention to physical beauty when they looking someones soul. | |
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