| why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 4/7/2006 5:22:57 AM | I must say this is only for a PART of a woman's life. She needs to feel she can "tame the player" anyway...
I'm done with the jerks, and wanting a REAL man. A sweet guy.... yeah! believe it. | |
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| Re: why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 4/7/2006 5:56:46 AM |
I personally dont give a sh*t about this arguement I dont bother trying to fit any mold any more I have seen "nice guys" get what they want and I have also went to see the "jerks" in the psyche ward of the hospital because of a nervouse break down . The assumption that jerks are bolder and stronger blah blah blah is a crock and the assumption that women only go for guys like that is in fact kinda insulting to a women (I think any way. Like they ALL have no brain ) . I think the best way to be is not nice or a jerk BUT YOURSELF and have the balls to stand up for who you are .
I personally believe their is a created mystic about this so people can write books and selll them to hapless lonley men whos only problem is they go after the wrong women and hence get shot down all the time.
^^^ I couldn't agree more... and the fact that they would have the where-with-all to standup for who they are and like who they are is what I would find most attractive, despite what society or others have labled them as. It's all about the way one treats themselves and others in life, and it doesn't take a long time to figure that out.
There are no victims, only volunteers...and that goes for all women who would rather stay with a guy who doesn't treat them well, and the guy who cries in his beer that women don't like them because they're too nice. | |
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| Re: why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 4/7/2006 6:12:59 AM | | ^ regardless. OP was trying to explain & understand the behavior through this article. If we were all 100% fully conscious of every actions we take, there'd be no issues to discuss on these forums. | |
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| why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 4/7/2006 11:22:40 AM | I am really that guy you are looking for.....I even had a major in Geography....When I was a boy, I was an ***hole. Now that I am a REAL man, I am a gentalman.
;)
I think thats great that you want to be a teacher. | |
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| why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 4/7/2006 11:30:33 AM | I think OP is wrong. Confidence is key.
A nice, good guy with confidence. That's what women want.
Thai, you posted on that "confidence" thread. That thread explains attraction for both sexes. | |
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| why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 4/7/2006 11:39:52 AM | Plainle, those that habitually go for jerks are the ones that will be miserable in there love life and will not be satisfied. There are some people that just need to examine their motives and just NOT date until they are cleared up becasue there is alot of sconfusion and unnessary hastle that occurs as a result of playing silly games that these people play. I am talking for both sexes offcourse
I hope that people that play these sort of games smarten up and understand how others feel.
As for the OP's statment, I can go on about that and how it is flawed but i won't bother, I think just reading over my posts and reading other intelligent posts will get the point across.
No offense to the Op and anyone else, but just stating that common sense and a good ethical value should win over any of those evolutionary ideas etc. | |
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| why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 4/7/2006 11:51:43 AM | Here's the rule, ok.
Women reluctantly LEAVE 'nice guys.'
Women reluctantly STAY with 'jerks.'
What women want are balanced men. Confident, secure, happy. Men who understand boundaries, have goals and directions in life and don't need anyone to make them happy are well balanced.
Learn to be balanced and you will attract the kind of quality women you want to have in a relationship.
Period. | |
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| why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 4/7/2006 11:57:46 AM | {Women reluctantly LEAVE 'nice guys.'
Women reluctantly STAY with 'jerks.'}
I don't get your point. anyways, it's good. My point that i put down on my post is good enough . | |
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| why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 4/7/2006 2:14:10 PM | | There's so much there that I can relate to. I find it sad because there's a guy right now that I'm falling for and I don't really know why. He hardly ever talks to me anymore even though he's been going on for a long time about how he wants to be with me and how he'll make me feel when we are together and of course, this makes me want to be with him even more and all the while he's lying about the whole thing and has no intentions of seeing me again. Stupid, naive me fell for it all and now I can't seem to let go of these feelings for him. Addicted could be used to describe it. | |
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| why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 4/7/2006 2:36:16 PM | I don't get your point. anyways, it's good. My point that i put down on my post is good enough .
It's quite simple. Women want a balanced man. Being a 'nice guy' (note: not a good man, a 'niiiiiiice guy') or a jerk isn't the path towards a happy, healthy relationship.
Women don't want to leave nice guys, but do because they lack the confidence and self-esteem to keep a woman interested in them. They try too hard to be pleasing when they just need to be confident in themselves. They treat them great, which is what a woman wants, but do so with the expectation that the woman will give something in return. They're called 'covert contracts.' (I give to you and I expect you to give back to me in equal value and love me for giving to you). Women reluctantly leave 'nice guys' because there is no excitement or attraction anymore.
Jerks are on the other spectrum. They're selfish, self-centered and a mystery to women. They reason for the attraction is that they feel they can change them. Jerks are mysterious and it keeps the intrigue. Women are usually treated badly in the relationship but stay because they feel they can change him. They want to know why the guy isn't "into" them. They don't like being treated badly nor do they know why they want to stay, but they do. They often kick themselves for staying.
Now, the guy you want to be is BALANCED. He has some of the qualities of a nice guy and some of the qualities of jerk without being either. Someone who is confident, self-assured, independent, has goals, has his own interest, doesn't need someone (just wants to be with someone), isn't clingy and isn't a jerk. Someone with boundaries. Treat her well. When she gets out of line, let her know but don't be a jerk about it. He shows his sword but never needs to use it. He is a leader of men, a mentor and people will follow him.
Strive to be balanced and women will fall in love with you.
Nice guy-->balanced<--Jerk | |
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| why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 4/7/2006 3:24:54 PM | {There's so much there that I can relate to. I find it sad because there's a guy right now that I'm falling for and I don't really know why. He hardly ever talks to me anymore even though he's been going on for a long time about how he wants to be with me and how he'll make me feel when we are together and of course, this makes me want to be with him even more and all the while he's lying about the whole thing and has no intentions of seeing me again. Stupid, naive me fell for it all and now I can't seem to let go of these feelings for him. Addicted could be used to describe it.}
That is wierd for sure, but We still have to get to know someone and understand their strengths and weaknesses and to develope our relationship from a firm character and personality foundation.
Jarbarian, I think i know what you meant but I was just saying (in general) that the pont I made was aiming directly at the solution and for a reality check on certain individuals.
I have a saying, "One wise and thoughtfull and good/ethical from the heart opinion weighs more than 1000 unthough out and silly and shallow opinions"
Now I am not saying that anyone "specifically" is shallow, but I just am stating that one truly good point can get the point across better then a thousand or so superficial and self centred opinions. | |
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| why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 4/7/2006 3:27:03 PM |
Jarbarian, I think i know what you meant but I was just saying (in general) that the pont I made was aiming directly at the solution and for a reality check on certain individuals.
I have a saying, "One wise and thoughtfull and good/ethical from the heart opinion weighs more than 1000 unthough out and silly and shallow opinions"
Now I am not saying that anyone "specifically" is shallow, but I just am stating that one truly good point can get the point across better then a thousand or so superficial and self centred opinions.
I agree 100%. | |
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| why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 4/7/2006 6:10:20 PM | Seems to me that the reality of this is pretty simple...
"To introduce dependability among the fairest of hearts, reveals stability that never parts..."
Unfortunately, many folks have just forgotten what dependability is all about. So it may not be the carnal instincts of choices and merely a reflection of environment. Dependable people are still out there, Thank Gaaaawwwddd. Never let discouragement ruin ya happiness ( grin ) | |
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| Re: why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 4/7/2006 7:10:08 PM | Wow, you sure said a mouthful Raggedy. How did you get so smart.. I try to fight the pull to meld with a jerk but man it is hard to run against it...Arrrrghhhh ..... Keep.....on...... going......
Must.....resist......LOL LOL | |
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| why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 4/7/2006 8:01:48 PM | your hypothesis may or may not be true all the way through but, being the nice guy that I am, I avoid women that are going after jerks. They're just as jerky as the jerks.
I believe both men and women feel. Our dna is only one chromosone off and there is much feeling desired by both sexes.
I'll just sit in the corner and wait for all the jerks to pair up and go their way and see who's left. I'll hang with the rest after the jerks have gone.
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| why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 4/8/2006 8:59:12 AM | I can be a quite a jerk...
But I'm also quite happy with myself and how I turned out (thanks, Mom Dad)...
So.... where are all these single women??? | |
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| why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 4/14/2006 4:05:26 PM |
I must say this is only for a PART of a woman's life. She needs to feel she can "tame the player" anyway...
I'm done with the jerks, and wanting a REAL man. A sweet guy.... yeah! believe it. I DON'T BELIEVE YOU! | |
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| Re: why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 4/14/2006 5:48:34 PM |
and i'm almost sure that some of those nice guys think the same way.
I'm a nice guy and I agree. I don't think a bar or club is the best place to meet a woman.
P.S. I'm taken! | |
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| Re: why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 10/26/2008 8:57:12 AM | | Because women tend to mistake the jerks self centered selfishness for confidence, and then after she has a child with the jerk and he cheats on her and leaves and won't pay his child support she realizes her mistake. Then after that she will move right along to choose another jerk? we see it all the time. | |
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| why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 10/26/2008 9:14:09 AM | | By the time I find out they are jerks, it's too late, I've been married twice, but I can assure you during the dating process they did'nt seem like jerks, No woman ever says I am going to marry him because he is such a GREAT JERK! Male and Female can be great deceivers, the good people that desire a loving relationship are the ones deceived easily. Let's face it, there are givers and takers in this world, when I find a giver it seems I turn them into a taker somehow, because I am such a giver....it's just my nature, and I am seeking help. | |
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