| Alternative Lifestyles
Posted: 5/8/2007 6:25:38 PM | This is not meant as an attack, but what's up with people here on an internet forum who can't use Google? If you don't know what poly is, research it (in the context of dating).
Now, to reply to the original poster, my first-hand experience on this is that once you get past any jealousy issues, the problem becomes time. Unless you're older with kids out of the house, it's complicated and time consuming to have even busy friendships, much less "advanced" loving relationships.
Since many here won't take the time to read up about it, I will be clear that it's not (all) about sex. And if it's just interesting new sex you're after, I highly recommend you find a non-committal friend with whom you can share some intimacy.
Some other problems... if your "other" is single, but you're married, eventually there will become a need problem with them. They're going to want/need you more than you have time to give, so things are going to go downhill. But then, if you're both married, (and assuming your spouses know, which is part of the requirement if you're going to call yourself poly), at some point someone's going to have jealousy issues about something, time being a likely issue.
To summarize, unless everyone involved is wealthy and has lots of time, and is equally in good shape (or otherwise physically equal), it's a big ball of mess. My vote is, find a playmate and be satisfied with that, but don't try to build a lengthy relationship. | |
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| Alternative Lifestyles
Posted: 5/8/2007 11:56:33 PM | I'm polyamorous (without a primary at the moment), although I can do monogamy and have done, for the past 20 years.
I think the crux of a successful poly-relationship is lots and lots of communication. Overdo the communication. The poly couples I know who over-communicate seems to have really solid relationships with both their primary and any secondaries, while the couples who don't, well, don't. They also seem to make the primary, Primary, as in, whatever the primary truly needs, is what the primary gets, even if the secondary relationship has to suffer somewhat.
Poly is NOT swinging or swapping.
It's being able to establish more than one emotional/love-relationship at a time (and not necessarily sexual.)
Communicate. Communicate. Communicate Honestly. | |
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| Alternative Lifestyles
Posted: 1/26/2008 11:31:57 AM | I identify as poly as well ... more by nature than by doctrine. Since I have kids, stability is pretty important so the primary would certainly be the primary focus and I can do monogamy for long periods of time with the right person.
Communicate. Communicate. Communicate Honestly.
Amen.
And hey, mountainwomahn, haven't I seen you somehere before? | |
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as~is
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Joined: 12/1/2007
Msg: 30 | |
| Alternative Lifestyles
Posted: 1/28/2008 12:34:18 AM | | I wouldn't object to it anymore than I already object to marriage. If there are reasons for the choice, if it works for those involved, well then, more power to them. I know the only reason I would settle down is for more sex. Since I already know that settling down with my fwb would probably NOT increase the sexual frequency, then there's not much point in movin him in, is there? I have strong appetites. Now say I get with a compatible man and there are a lot of reasons for us to live together, but he wants an extra wife? Uh? I want it daily, and if I'm NOT getting it because SHE is, then I don't see the situation working. Two husbands, we'll talk. :) | |
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| Alternative Lifestyles
Posted: 1/28/2008 3:42:40 PM | | The more I think about it.. the more I want 2 husbands and a wife. | |
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| Alternative Lifestyles
Posted: 2/3/2008 7:16:45 AM | The more I think about it.. the more I want 2 husbands and a wife.
Sounds like one long, never ending migraine. | |
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| Alternative Lifestyles
Posted: 2/3/2008 10:47:59 PM | | I was in a poly triad relationship for 7 years. I found as years went on, I seemed to get pushed further away until I wasn't happy, so I am now out of it. It's a fine balance to make sure everyone gets a fair share of time that is needed to keep close. | |
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| Alternative Lifestyles
Posted: 2/4/2008 12:37:58 PM | Just what every guy needs...... never ending PMS and more than one pissed off wife when he stays out till 3:00 am without calling.... 
Ya, no thanks..... Not for me.... | |
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