| How Can I Tell When a Man is Serious About Me?
Posted: 1/16/2006 3:33:04 PM | You know, as a new POF member and a online dating sort-of-virgin, this is pretty interesting. I mean, in other first contact situations (clubs, school, work, friends - of friends, etc.) there are at least some protocols that we have all developed. Body language, indirect contact, tone of voice, and a ton of other stuff help guide us on our way.
For me at least, the lack of these sorta things make me really, really, insecure. In the non-online world, I'm outgoing, self confident, and engaging. Here, when a woman sends me an intitial note of "gee I like you profile" or some such I can't tel if she's jeering or leering :-)
I find that writing the first note to someone who I think is attracitve is tough as well. I will walk up to anyone and engage then in conversation, almost anywhere. Here, whatever I write sounds like "gee I like your profile." Blech.
Then there is the "I don;t want to sound serious if they aren't so I'll wait for them to make the first move" thing, going on both sides. Nothing like a mexican insecurity standoff.
Me? I figger I'll just ask. "Hey - you interested?" "No? Ok, that's cool." or "Yeah? Great - what do you wanna do next?". In the complete abscence of non-verbal clues, we gotta rely on plain talking (or writing, as the case may be).
Cheers,
Jubal | |
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| How Can I Tell When a Man is Serious About Me?
Posted: 1/16/2006 3:50:23 PM | | Best policy for when in doubt is to simply ask them. Why bother with all the guessing? Simply ask him if he has serious intent with you. Follow that up with how you define "serious". From what I assume from reading your post I'm guessing "serious" would mean are we just going to chat and email....or are we going to meet for real and see if we have some chemistry? i.e. Are you serious about meeting? After a few dates or a month or whatever....if you don't know what his intent is....repeat process and vary how you define "serious" ....at the next level. | |
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| How Can I Tell When a Man is Serious About Me?
Posted: 1/16/2006 7:52:33 PM | Dear Beautifulwoman4u;
I think you need to use the IYTESATWSOIBTS or If You Throw Enough Shit Against The Wall, Some Of It's Bound To Stick method. Simply have all interested men fly over to meet you for a coffee as their messages come in. You'll have a steady stream of prospects coming in and leaving. You take notes and finally choose who likes you best by the size of the drool puddle on the table and tell him to return, he has the job. This method provides you with the best selection and is great for the airline industry and coffee shops. | |
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| How Can I Tell When a Man is Serious About Me?
Posted: 1/16/2006 8:03:43 PM | Being married I don't know how you would know on POF.
I am just guessing, but they would e-mail you alot, couldn't get enough of you. Then they would want to call, and then meet you. Then its personal, and you take it from there.
As far as a harmless crush thing goes. I don't know. Hasn't happened. Atleast I don't think it has. I guess I am not a good one to give advise on this one. Good luck. | |
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| How Can I Tell When a Man is Serious About Me?
Posted: 1/16/2006 8:29:59 PM | beautiful woman for you I would have to wonder how at your age and with your sexiness you would still need to question a mans affection , Perhaps you should take a step out of yourself and look into it from your own ego ( not in a bad way , I do this all the time ) It keeps you grounded and an lets you see what it is that you are actually seeing . Does this make sense .
You are a beautiful woman period . men want to be with you but you need to allow it . | |
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| How Can I Tell When a Man is Serious About Me?
Posted: 1/16/2006 8:39:46 PM | For both genders-
You can tell by their actions-dont get taken in by sweet words,
words are just that words, if they are not backed by actions they are meaningless. | |
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AI03™
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Joined: 5/3/2005
Msg: 35 | |
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| How Can I Tell When a Man is Serious About Me?
Posted: 1/17/2006 3:37:01 AM | | Without wishing to be overly gereralistic, I must say I find it absolutely bizarre to read people saying they need to spend a lot of time emailing "to try and get to know" someone. That's not the way it works in real life and I cannot think of one good reason why it would work in cyberland and a bunch of reasons why it would not. I truly think that if a pic, a profile, an email or two and a phonecall give you cause to want to find out more about someone, there is no substitute for a little face to face.At that point, the easiest way to find out if someone is serious about meeting is the simplest: ask. A yes or no is as good an indicator as you're going to get. | |
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| How Can I Tell When a Man is Serious About Me?
Posted: 2/1/2006 4:06:07 AM | OK, if you have ever bumped into any of my forum posts or threads then you will know that I am either the dumbest woman on the planet or maybe nearing the most niave woman on the planet or I've been married for most of my adult life and have not been let out of my cage for more than a few moments at a time. So as far as how I might know if a man is interested in me, either HERE or in the REAL world....I HAVE NOT GOT A CLUE because I keep bumping into what my firends refer to as Players. You know the kind that persue you with all that they have and what they have is usually good looks, good health, great money, toys...all of the goodies that those kinds of men think are impressive. Silly me, I see a little bit of their heart and actually beleive that they are HUMAN and that they want what I want...you know a relationship, someone to love that sort of silly thing but what I get is bate and switch, catch and release and bag and tag games that I have never played and do not understand the reasoning or the the rules for the games..oh wait, I guess there are not rules or reasonings for these games so perhaps a better question here would be...........is there ANYONE THAT IS SERIOUS ABOUT FINDING A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP? I'm ready to go join a convent. Maybe that's where I belong. HELP!!!!!! | |
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| How Can I Tell When a Man is Serious About Me?
Posted: 2/1/2006 4:17:05 AM | | ..at all times he must respect you in all situations, you must feel like you can depend on him for anything. He must stand up and fight for who you are and what you represent, he should be the one you feel you can turn to, no matter where he is. I am that kind of person, "YOU CALL I HAUL" lol. its kinda like your parents, you can depend on them for advise and in help in any way no matter what. Then that is the guy for you. | |
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| How Can I Tell When a Man is Serious About Me?
Posted: 2/1/2006 4:43:14 AM | guzzohuwhat...........
That is exactly my usual standard of interaction before I meet someone and it is a good time frame to get to know someone and if they are ultimately worth meeting.
By that point I think you can get a fair idea of who they are and if you are compatiable. I agree you should never rush into it......
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| How Can I Tell When a Man is Serious About Me?
Posted: 2/1/2006 5:44:21 AM | | You got to be careful there...Ive noticed some people will build the other person up to what they hope that person is some idea he/she may have in her head Then the imagination takes off...........Has anyone ever seen that? I could be dead wrong but thats the feeling I got once............ | |
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| How Can I Tell When a Man is Serious About Me?
Posted: 3/8/2006 7:40:57 PM |  yea someone who gets it, the chemistry and connection is either there pretty much from the start. But remember that if you don't like him for who he really is, nine times out of ten, you can't change him.LOL | |
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| How Can I Tell When a Man is Serious About Me?
Posted: 3/8/2006 7:49:03 PM | I think he'll either give you his phone number, private email address or ask for yours after a few emails. I am new to dating as well. So far, most men who have shown interest have done what I wrote. Once you meet, if you go on a second date and he calls ... chances are there will be a third date.
Best of luck to you! | |
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botox
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Joined: 3/2/2006
Msg: 47 | |
| How Can I Tell When a Man is Serious About Me?
Posted: 3/8/2006 8:41:17 PM | | Well some woman are just as nervous or shy,and some of us have not dated in awhile,lol.I think if a woman were to lean over a kiss a guy she just met even though she is interested in would be to forward.sorry but ,im also shy and could not do that.i think alot of the other things you said though was great.i think both men and women sometimes are nervous about saying or doing anything at first. | |
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| How Can I Tell When a Man is Serious About Me?
Posted: 3/8/2006 9:13:47 PM | I agree with the 1-2-3 step plan!
I find if I like them on e-mail I'll give them my private msn address and talk for a bit there if all goes well - you eventually do want to talk to them personally on the phone.
If that is a success. That's usually when you decide to make plans to meet.
Its different time lengths with each person between each stage each time you do this and it can fall apart at any time before the meet. Once your sure you want to meet the person thats a whole new ball game.
After that..... well now thats a whole new thread!!! | |
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| How Can I Tell When a Man is Serious About Me?
Posted: 3/8/2006 10:22:51 PM | This was one of the better threads i have read. It was nice to hear alot from the guys out there. I believe all of you were being totally honest. I think if you really read and listen to what the other person is saying you could pretty much tell if they are playing you he calls you at only his convience and when you try to call he usually doesn't answer or if he does and can't talk right then(most the time he wants to control the situation) Thats just been my experience. But i have met someone and right off the bat he did not care to communicate via the email it was too impersonal. We talked for almost 2 hours the first time and we still talk every morning and every evening and get together every other weekend(he has his daughter every other weekend) she knows about me and we will be meeting in a couple months. We want to see where our relationship is going first. No reason to interfere with his time with his daughter she deserves 100% of her fathers time, however she does want to see him with a lady friend. So it really depends on the man and woman you will know from the begining if they are playing, just keep an opened mind. When i met him i wasn't expecting it.
Good luck you will find the right one for you he is out there. | |
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