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| My Joke Thread.
Posted: 12/6/2005 11:49:27 AM | Technical Issues with License
A couple arrived at town hall seconds before closing time, and caught a judge just as he was about to leave, and asked him to marry them. He asked if they had a license and, when they didn't, sent them off to get one.
They caught the town clerk just as he was locking up, and got the license from him. When they got back to the judge, he pointed out they had filled the names in backwards -- his where hers belonged and vice versa.
They rushed back to the clerk's office, caught him again, and got another license. This time, the judge noticed that the clerk had filled in the date in the wrong format. Again they catch the clerk... After five reissued licenses, the judge is finally satisfied.
Judge: "I hope you appreciate why I made you keep going back. If there are irregularities in the license, your marriage would not be legal, and any children you might have would be technical **stards."
Groom: "That's funny - that's just what the clerk called you." | |
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| My Joke Thread.
Posted: 12/7/2005 6:57:08 AM | Some funny business names
Wine and Cheese shop - Who cut the cheese?
Ladies Salon - Curl up and Dye
Plumbers - Drain Surgons
Clothing Line - Tommy Pullmyfinger | |
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| My Joke Thread.
Posted: 12/7/2005 10:53:32 AM | "Bulgaria and Ukraine announced they're considering pulling their forces out of Iraq. Yeah, the troops will be withdrawn as soon as they can find a car that seats 6 people." --Conan O'Brien
---
"Last week, the city of Boston sparked controversy when it renamed the giant spruce tree in Boston Common a holiday tree instead of a Christmas tree. Also, the city's nativity scene will now be referred to as the Holiday Homeless Family." --Tina Fey
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"A new poll reveals that 56% of Americans believe that Wal- Mart is bad for the country, while the other 44% work there." --Amy Poehler | |
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| My Joke Thread.
Posted: 12/7/2005 11:09:33 AM | A guy takes his pet snake to the veterinarian. After an exam, the vet says, I'm sorry but your snake is dead. The man refuses to accept that his snake is dead and demands a second opinion. The vet goes into the back office and brings out a cat. The cat walks up and down the snake, pawing and pushing as it walks. The cat then looks up at the vet and says, meow, meow, meooow. The vet tells the man that the cat agrees, the snake is dead. The man, still unwilling to accept it, asks for a third opinion. The vet goes into his back office and brings out a black labrador retriever. The lab walks up and down the snake, pawing and sniffing as it walks. The dog then says, woof, woof, woooooof. The vet tells the man that the lab also agrees that the snake is dead. Finally, the man is willing to accept that the snake is dead and asks how much do I owe you. The vet replies $650. The man, flabbergasted, says $650?
The vet says, yes $50 for my exam and $300 each for the CAT scan and the LAB test. | |
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| My Joke Thread.
Posted: 12/7/2005 11:15:22 AM | An Eskimo is vacationing in Wales, driving through the country in a rented car. On one remote hill, the car suddenly grinds to a halt.
So the Eskimo gets out and opens the hood. Just then a Welshman pulls over and asks, "Do you need a hand?" The Eskimo nods. "I'll just have a look, shall I?"
The Welshman takes one look at the engine and says, "You know what your problem is? You've blown a seal."
"So what?!" yells the Eskimo, "You f*ck SHEEP!!!" | |
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| My Joke Thread.
Posted: 12/7/2005 7:50:17 PM | A woman walks into her accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes.
The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask a few questions."
He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, "What is your occupation?"
The woman replies, "I'm a whore."
The accountant balks and says, "No, no, no. That will never work. That is much too crass. Let's try to rephrase that."
"Ok, I'm a prostitute."
"No, that is still too crude. Try again."
They both think for a minute, then the woman says, "I'm a chicken farmer."
The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with being a whore or a prostitute?"
"Well, I raised over 5,000**** last year. | |
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| My Joke Thread.
Posted: 12/7/2005 8:07:47 PM | FEMALE PRAYER
---------------
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, whos not a creep,
One whos handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One wholl call, not wait for weeks.
I pray hes gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, wont be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man wholl make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend. Amen.
MALE PRAYER
--------------
I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a liquor store
and a bass boat.
(This doesnt rhyme and I dont care.) | |
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| My Joke Thread.
Posted: 12/7/2005 10:15:23 PM | I went to the store the other day, I was only in there for about
5 minutes. When I came out there was a damn motorcycle cop
writing a parking ticket.
I went up to him and said, 'Come on buddy, how about giving a guy
a break?'
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket.
So I called him a pencil necked Nazi.
He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having
bald tires!!
So I called him a horse f_**ker.
He finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the
first. Then he started writing a third ticket!! This went on for
about 20 minutes!
Anyway, after giving up with all the arguing, I walked around the
corner to where my car was parked, and drove off............... | |
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| My Joke Thread.
Posted: 12/8/2005 6:50:08 AM | | A man walks into a store where he sees a sign that says "beware of the dog". As he enters the store he sees an old hound dog lying on the floor. He asks the owner is THIS the dog that prompted you to post the sign. Yep, that's him replied the owner. Well he doesn't look like he would harm anyone, said the man. The owner then replied, yes, but before we put up the sign, people would trip over him. | |
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| My Joke Thread.
Posted: 12/8/2005 11:01:06 AM | I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his, DDS, which bore his full name.
Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 40-odd years ago. Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then?
Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate. Hmmm ... Or could he?
After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park High School.
"Yes. Yes, I did. I'm a Mustang," he gleamed with pride.
"When did you graduate?" I asked.
He answered, "In 1959. Why do you ask?"
"You were in my class!" I exclaimed. He looked at me closely. Then, that ugly, old, wrinkled SOB asked, "What did you teach?" | |
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| My Joke Thread.
Posted: 12/8/2005 9:54:38 PM | Ok this one is soooo cheesy but cute and it has a redhead in it so sue me.
------------
A man is dining alone in a fancy restaurant and notices a
gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking
her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her.
Suddenly, she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of its
socket towards the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out
of the air, and hands it back.
"Oh my, I am so sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye back
in place. "Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you."
They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards the
theater followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her
deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens.
After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to
come to her place for a nightcap - and stay for breakfast.
The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the
trimmings. The guy is amazed!! Everything had been SO
incredible!!!!
"You know," he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this
nice to every guy you meet?"
"No," she replies..."
"You just happened to catch my eye." | |
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| My Joke Thread.
Posted: 12/8/2005 9:55:16 PM | A little girl runs out to the backyard where her father is
working, and asks him, "Daddy, what's sex?"
Caught off guard, and shaken at his innocent little girl asking
such a question, he starts babbling about the birds and the
bees.
Then he looks at her bewildered expression and decides the best
option is to tell her the truth. He sits her down, and tells her
about conception, sperms and eggs. He goes on to tell her about
puberty, menstruation and he thinks, 'what the hell,' and goes on
to tell her the works. He tells her about orgasms, masturbation,
and even shows her a picture of a penis and vagina.
He covers a wide and varied assortment of sub-topics and by the
time he's finished, his daughter is somewhat awestruck with this
sudden influx of bizarre new knowledge.
Her father finally asks, "So what did you want to know about sex
for?"
"Oh, mommy said to tell you lunch would be ready in a couple of
secs..." | |
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| My Joke Thread.
Posted: 12/9/2005 4:29:07 AM | Brazen, you're a sick, twisted woman, and I love you with all my heart. | |
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| My Joke Thread.
Posted: 12/9/2005 6:56:26 AM | It was Saturday morning as Jake, an avid hunter, woke up ready to go bag the first deer of the season. He walked down to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, and to his surprise he found his wife, Alice, sitting there, fully dressed in camouflage.
Jake asked her, "What are you up to?"
Alice smiled. "I'm going hunting with you!"
Jake, though he had many reservations about this, reluctantly decided to take her along. Later they arrived at the hunting site. Jake set his wife safely up in the tree stand and told her, "If you see a deer, take careful aim and I'll come running back as soon as I hear the shot."
Jake walked away with a smile on his face knowing that Alice couldn't bag an elephant, much less a deer. Not 10 minutes passed when he was startled as he heard an array of gunshots.
Quickly, Jake ran back. As Jake got closer to her stand, he heard Alice screaming: "Get away from my deer!"
Confused, Jake raced faster towards his screaming wife. And again he heard her yell: "Get away from my deer!" followed by another volley of gunfire!
Now within sight of where he had left his wife, Jake was surprised to see a guy standing there with his hands high in the air. The guy, obviously distraught, said, "Okay, lady, okay!!!! You can have your deer!!! Just let me get my saddle off it!" | |
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| My Joke Thread.
Posted: 12/9/2005 1:06:09 PM | LOL Thanks jr. 
--------------
Things learned from the movies:
1. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.
2. All beds have special L-shaped top sheets that reach up to armpit level on a woman but only waist level on the man lying beside her.
3. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
4. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.
5. The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty.
6. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.
7. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris.
8. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
9. When paying for a taxi, never look at your wallet as you take out a note - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
10. If you lose a hand, it will cause the stump of your arm to grow by 15cm.
11. Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning, even though the husband and children never have time to eat them.
12. Cars and trucks that crash will almost always burst into flames.
13. A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium.
14. Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
15. All single women have a cat.
16. Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
17. One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at one.
18. Creepy music coming from a graveyard should always be closely investigated.
19. Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper cuttings - especially if any of their family or friends has died in a strange boating accident.
20. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involved martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessor.
21. During a very emotional confrontation, instead of facing the person you are speaking to, it is customary to stand behind them and talk to their back.
22. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your room will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
23. Dogs always know who's bad and will naturally bark at them.
24. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
25. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch-enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gases, lasers and man eating sharks that will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
26. Having a job of any kind will make all fathers forget their son's eighth birthday.
27. Many musical instruments - especially wind instruments and accordions - can be played without moving the fingers.
28. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
29. It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.
30. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
31. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps. | |
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| My Joke Thread.
Posted: 12/9/2005 10:51:08 PM | A New Zealander walked into an Australian unemployment office,
marched straight up to the counter and said,
"G'day mate, I'm lookin' for a job."
The man behind the counter replied, "Your timing is amazing.
We've just got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a
chauffeur for his beautiful young daughter. You'll have to drive
her around in a big black Mercedes, uniform provided.
Because of the long hours of this job, meals will also be
provided and once a year you will also be required to escort the
young lady on her overseas holiday. The salary package is
$200,000 a year."
The New Zealander said "Nah, you're tellin' me bullsh*t!"
The man behind the counter said "Well you f*ckin' started it!" | |
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| My Joke Thread.
Posted: 12/9/2005 10:55:22 PM | Oh ladies this is for you! 
-----------------
The Female experience
This is dedicated to all women everywhere who have ever had to
deal with a public toilet. And it finally explains to all you men
what takes us so long.
My mother was a fanatic about public toilets. As a little girl,
she'd bring me in the stall, teach me to wad up toilet paper and
wipe the seat. Then, she'd carefully lay strips of toilet paper
to cover the seat. Finally, she'd instruct, "Never, never sit on
a public toilet seat." And she'd demonstrate "The Stance," which
consisted of balancing over the toilet in a sitting position
without actually letting any of your flesh make contact with the
toilet seat. But by this time, I'd have peed down my leg. And
we'd go home.
That was a long time ago. I've had lots of experience with public
toilets since then, but I'm still not particularly fond of public
toilets, especially those with powerful, red-eye sensors. Those
toilets know when you want them to flush. They are psychic
toilets. But I always confuse their psychic ability by following
my mother's advice and assuming The Stance. The Stance is
excruciatingly difficult to maintain when one's bladder is
especially full. This is most likely to occur after watching a
full-length feature film.
During the movie pee, it is nearly impossible to hold The Stance.
You know what I mean. You drink a two liter cup of Diet Coke,
then sit still through a three-hour saga because, for God's sake,
even if you didn't wipe or wash your hands in the bathroom, you'd
still miss the pivotal part of the movie or the second scene, in
which they flash the leading man's naked derriere.
So, you cross your legs and you hold it. And you hold it until
that first credit rolls and you sprint to the bathroom, about
ready to explode all over your internal organs. And at the
bathroom, you find a line of women that makes you think there's a
half-price sale on Mel Gibson's underwear in there.
So, you wait and smile politely at all the other ladies, also
crossing their legs and smiling politely. And you finally get
closer. You check for feet under the stall doors. Every one is
occupied. You hope no one is doing frivolous things behind those
stall doors, like blowing her nose or checking the contents of
her wallet.
Finally, a stall door opens and you dash, nearly knocking down
the woman leaving the stall. You get in to find the door won't
latch. It doesn't matter. You hang your handbag on the door hook,
yank down your pants and assume The Stance.
Relief. More relief. Then your thighs begin to shake. You'd love
to sit down but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat
or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold The Stance as your thighs
experience a quake that would register an eight on the Richter
scale. To take your mind off it, you reach for the toilet paper.
Might as well be ready when you are done. The toilet paper
dispenser is empty.
Your thighs shake more. You remember the tiny napkin you wiped
your fingers on after eating buttered popcorn. It would have to
do. You crumble it in the puffiest way possible. It is still
smaller than your thumbnail.
Someone pushes open your stall door because the latch doesn't
work and your pocketbook whams you in the head. "Occupied!" you
scream as you reach out for the door, dropping your buttered
popcorn napkin in a puddle and falling backward, directly onto
the toilet seat. You get up quickly, but it's too late. Your bare
bottom has made contact with all the germs and life forms on the
bare seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper, not that
there was any, even if you had enough time to. Your mother would
be utterly ashamed of you if she knew, because her bare bottom
never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, "You don't
know what kind of diseases you could get."
By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is
so confused that it flushes, sending up a stream of water akin to
a fountain and then it suddenly sucks everything down with such
force that you grab onto the toilet paper dispenser for fear of
being dragged to China.
At that point, you give up. You're finished peeing. You're soaked
by the splashing water. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a
Chicklet wrapper you found in your pocket, then slink out
inconspicuously to the sinks. You can't figure out how to operate
the sinks with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with
spit and a dry paper towel and walk past a line of women, still
waiting, cross-legged and unable to smile politely at this point.
One kind soul at the very end of the line points out that you are
trailing a piece of toilet paper on your shoe as long! as the
Mississippi River. You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in
the woman's hand and say warmly, "Here You might need this."
At this time, you see your spouse, who has entered, used and
exited his bathroom and read a copy of War and Peace while
waiting for you.
"What took you so long?" he asks, annoyed. This is when you kick
him sharply in the shin and go home | |
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| My Joke Thread.
Posted: 12/10/2005 8:56:11 PM | Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and one of the men engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
Man: "Hello."
Woman: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
Man: "Yes."
Woman: "I'm at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
Man: "Sure...go ahead if you like it that much."
Woman: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2005 models. I saw one that I really liked."
Man: "How much?"
Woman: "$60,000"
Man: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
Woman: "Great! Oh, and one more thing...the house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."
Man: "Well then, go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000."
Woman: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you."
Man: "Bye, I love you too."
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment.
Then he asks: "Anyone know who this cell phone belongs to?" | |
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| My Joke Thread.
Posted: 12/10/2005 9:44:30 PM | A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day
there he takes off his clothes and starts to wander around. A
gorgeous petite sister walks by and the man immediately gets an
erection. The woman notices his erection, comes over to him and
says,
"Sir, did you call for me?"
The mans replies, "No, what do you mean?"
She says, "You must be new here, let me explain. It's a rule here
that if you get an erection it implies you called for me."
Smiling she leads him to the side of the swimming pool, lies down
on a towel, eagerly pulls him to her and happily lets him have
his way with her.
The man continued to explore the colony's facilities. He enters
the sauna and as he sat down he farted. Within a few minutes a
huge, horrible, corpulent, hairy man lumbers out of the steam
toward him.
"Did you call for me?" says the hairy man.
"No, what do you mean?" says the newcomer.
"You must be new here," says the hairy man, "it is a rule here
that if you fart it implies that you called for me."
The huge man easily spins him around, bends him over a bench and
has his way with him.
The newcomer staggers back to the colony office, where he is
greeted by the smiling, naked receptionist.
"May I help you?" she says.
The man yells, "Here is my membership card, you can have the key
back, and you can keep the $500 membership fee."
"But sir," she replies, "you've only been here a few hours, you
haven't even had the chance to see all our facilities."
The man replies, "Listen lady, I'm 68 years old, I get a hard-on
once a month, but I fart 15 times a day!" | |
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| My Joke Thread.
Posted: 12/10/2005 9:45:08 PM | The Top 20 ways to say "Your Fly Is Open"
20) The cucumber has left the salad.
19) I can see the gun of Navarone.
18) Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging
out.
17) You've got Windows in your laptop.
16) Sailor Ned's trying to take a little shore leave.
15) Your soldier ain't so unknown now.
14) Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bell.
13) Paging Mr. Johnson... Paging Mr. Johnson...
12) You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked
position.
11) Your pod bay door is open, Hal.
10) Elvis Junior has LEFT the building!
9) Mini Me is making a break for the escape pod.
8) Ensign Hanes is reporting a hull breach on the lower deck,
Sir!
7) The Buick is not all the way in the garage.
6) Dr. Kimble has escaped!
5) You've got your fly set for "Monica" instead of "Hillary."
4) Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction...
3) You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones.
2) I'm talking about Shaft, can you dig it?
AND THE NUMBER ONE WAY TO TELL SOMEONE THEIR FLY IS UNZIPPED...
1) I thought you were crazy; now I see your nuts | |
|
| My Joke Thread.
Posted: 12/11/2005 7:35:49 AM | Dessert Test
No cheating. If all of the desserts listed below were sitting in
front of you, which would you choose? Pick your dessert, and then look
to see what psychiatrists think about you! After taking this dessert
personality test, send this e-mail on to others, but when you do, be
sure to put YOUR choice of dessert in the subject line above.
ALSO, SEND IT TO THE PERSON WHO SENT IT TO YOU! Sorry you can only pick one.
Angel Food Cake
Brownies
Lemon Meringue Pie
Vanilla Cake with Chocolate Icing
Strawberry Short Cake
Chocolate Icing on Chocolate Cake
Ice Cream
Carrot Cake
NO. You can't change your mind once you scroll down, so think
carefully what your choice will be!
OK - Now that you've made your choice, this is what psychiatric
research says about you:
ANGEL FOOD CAKE.. Sweet, loving, cuddly. You love all warm and
fuzzy items. A little nutty at times. Sometimes you need an ice cream
cone at the end of the day.. Others perceive you as being
childlike and immature at times.
BROWNIES... You are adventurous, love new ideas, and are a
champion of underdogs and a slayer of dragons. When tempers
flare up, you whip out your saber. You are always the oddball with a unique sense
of humor and direction. You tend to be very loyal.
LEMON MERINGUE... Smooth, sexy, and articulate with your hands,
you are an excellent after-dinner speaker and a good teacher.
But don't try to walk and chew gum at the same time. A bit of a diva at
times, but you have many good friends.
VANILLA CAKE WITH CHOCOLATE ICING... Fun loving, sassy,
humorous.Not very grounded in life; very indecisive and lack
motivation. Everyone enjoys being around you. You are a practical joker.
Others should be cautious in making you mad. However, you are a friend for life.
STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE... Romantic, warm, loving. You care about
other people and can be counted on in a pinch. ! You also tend
to melt. You can be overly emotional at times. And sometimes can be annoying.
CHOCOLATE ON CHOCOLATE... Sexy; always ready to give and
receive.Very adventurous, ambitious, and passionate. You can
appear to have a cold exterior but are warm on the inside. Not afraid to take
chances. Will not settle for anything average in life. Love to laugh.
ICE CREAM... You like sports, whether it is baseball, football,
basketbal l, or soccer. If you could, you would like to participate,
but you enjoy watching sports. You don't like to give up the
remote control. You tend to be self-centered and high maintenance.
CARROT CAKE... You are a very fun loving person, who likes to
laugh. You are fun to be with. People like to hang out with you.
You are a very warm hearted person and a little quirky at times. You have
many loyal friends. | |
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| |
| My Joke Thread.
Posted: 12/11/2005 9:36:05 PM | | You mean that there ARE people out there who are capable of walking and chewing gum at the same time!!!! Maybe that's why I'm only ice cream. | |
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| My Joke Thread.
Posted: 12/12/2005 12:05:16 AM | For the Americans...
------------
I was traveling between Phoenix and Ajo the other day south of
Gila Bend when a tire blew out. Checking my spare, I found that
it too was flat. My only option was to flag down a passing
motorist and get a ride to the next town.
The first vehicle to stop was an old man in a van. He yelled out
the window, "Need a lift?"
"Yes, I sure do," I replied.
"You a Republican or Democrat," asked the old man.
"Democrat," I replied.
"Well, you can just go to Hell," yelled the old man as he sped
off.
Another guy stopped, rolled down the window, and asked me the
same question. Again, I gave the same answer, "Democrat." The
driver gave me the finger and drove off.
I thought it over and decided that maybe I should change my
strategy, since this area seemed to be overly political and there
appeared to be few Democrats.
The next car to stop was a red convertible driven by a beautiful
blonde. She smiled seductively and asked if I was a Republican or
Democrat.
"Republican!", I shouted.
"Hop in!", replied the blonde.
Driving down the road, I couldn't help but stare at the gorgeous
woman in the seat next to me, the wind blowing through her hair,
perfect breasts, and a short skirt that continued to ride higher
and higher up her thighs.
Finally, I yelled, "Please stop the car." She immediately slammed
on the brakes and as soon as the car stopped, I jumped out.
"What's the matter?", she asked.
"I can't take it anymore," I replied. "I've only been a
Republican for five minutes and already I want to screw
somebody." | |
|
| My Joke Thread.
Posted: 12/12/2005 12:36:56 AM | Quote :
CHOCOLATE ON CHOCOLATE... Sexy; always ready to give and
receive.Very adventurous, ambitious, and passionate. You can
appear to have a cold exterior but are warm on the inside. Not afraid to take
chances. Will not settle for anything average in life. Love to laugh.
Did not pick it...but sounds about right. | |
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