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| My Joke Thread
Posted: 8/25/2009 1:47:01 PM | ATLANTA AIRPORT -
You gotta love this one even if you've never lived in the South. Some of you will enjoy this more than others.. Southerners can be so polite!
Atlanta ATC: "Tower to Saudi Air 511 -- You are cleared to land eastbound on runway 9R
Saudi Air: "Thank you Atlanta ATC. Acknowledge cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R - Allah be Praised."
Atlanta ATC: "Tower to Iran Air 711 --You are cleared to land westbound on runway 9R."
Iran Air: "Thank you Atlanta ATC. We are cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R. - Allah is Great."
Pause...
Saudi Air: " ATLANTA ATC - ATLANTA ATC"
Atlanta ATC: "Go ahead Saudi Air 511."
Saudi Air: "YOU HAVE CLEARED BOTH OUR AIRCRAFTS FOR THE SAME RUNWAY GOING IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS. WE ARE ON A COLLISION COURSE.. INSTRUCTIONS, PLEASE."
Atlanta ATC: "Well bless your hearts. And praise Jesus. Y'all be careful now and tell Allah "hey" for us -- " | |
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| My Joke Thread
Posted: 8/26/2009 7:44:36 AM | The secret of enjoying a good wine.
1 Open the bottle to allow it to breathe.
2 If it does not look like it's breathing, give it mouth-to-mouth. | |
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| My Joke Thread
Posted: 8/26/2009 6:45:12 PM | When You Remarry .......
(In his very own words!!!)
Harry and his wife were sitting around the breakfast table one lazy morning.
Harry suddenly said, "Dear, if I were to die suddenly, I want you to immediately sell all my stuff."
"Now why would you want me to do something like that?" asked his wife.
"I figure that you would eventually remarry, and I don't want some other a$$hole using my stuff..."
His wife looked at Harry and said: "What makes you think I'd marry another a$$hole?" | |
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| My Joke Thread
Posted: 8/28/2009 3:01:15 PM | OLD IS NOT DUMB
A strong young man at a construction site was bragging that he could out-do anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen.
After several minutes, the older worker had enough. 'Why don't you put your money where your mouth is,' he said. 'I'll bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that building that you won't be able to wheel back.'
'You're on, old man,' the braggart replied. 'Let's see you do it.'
The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man,he said, 'All right, Dumb A$$, get in.'
Moral: Never mess with old people | |
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| My Joke Thread.
Posted: 8/29/2009 10:55:34 AM | | Superbrazen, manliness test...I am still cracking up!! Keep them coming! [no pun intended] | |
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| My Joke Thread.
Posted: 8/30/2009 3:40:50 PM | THE POTTY
A LITTLE THREE YEAR OLD BOY IS SITTING ON THE TOILET. HIS MOTHER THINKS HE HAS BEEN IN THERE TOO LONG, SO SHE GOES IN TO SEE WHAT'S UP. THE LITTLE BOY IS SITTING ON THE TOILET READING A BOOK. BUT ABOUT EVERY 10 SECONDS OR SO HE PUTS THE BOOK DOWN, GRIPS ONTO TO THE TOILET SEAT WITH HIS LEFT HAND AND HITS HIMSELF ON TOP OF THE HEAD WITH HIS RIGHT HAND.
HIS MOTHER SAYS: "BILLY, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?YOU'VE BEEN IN HERE FOR A WHILE.
BILLY SAYS: "I'M FINE, MOMMY.. I JUST HAVEN'T GONE 'DOODY' YET."
MOTHER SAYS: "OK, YOU CAN STAY HERE A FEW MORE MINUTES.BUT, BILLY, WHY ARE YOU HITTING YOURSELF ON THE HEAD?"
BILLY SAYS: "WORKS FOR KETCHUP." | |
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| My Joke Thread.
Posted: 8/31/2009 11:01:40 AM | When you're from the country you look at things a little
different..........
A Montana rancher got in his pickup and drove to a neighboring
ranch and knocked at the door. A young boy, about 9, opened the
door.
'Is yer Dad home?' the rancher asked.
'No sir, he ain't,' the boy replied. 'He went into town.'
'Well,' said the rancher, 'Is yer Mother here?'
'No, sir, she ain't here neither. She went into town with
Dad.'
'How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?'
No sir, 'He went with Mom and Dad.'
The rancher stood there for a few minutes, shifting from
one foot to the other and mumbling to himself.
'Is there anything I can do fer ya?' the boy asked politely
'I know where all the tools are, if you want to borry one. Or
maybe I could take a message fer Dad.'
'Well,' said the rancher uncomfortably, 'I really wanted to
talk to yer Dad. It's about your brother Howard getting my
daughter, Pearly Mae, pregnant.'
The boy considered for a moment. 'You would have to talk to
Pa about that', he finally conceded. 'If it helps you any, I
know that Pa charges $500 for the bull and $50 for the hog,
but I really don't know how much he gets fer Howard.' | |
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| My Joke Thread.
Posted: 8/31/2009 7:30:36 PM | The Dentist...
A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl's place.
A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands.
He then takes off his trousers and washes his hands again.
The girl has been watching him and says, 'You must be a dentist.
The guy, surprised, says 'Yes....how did you figure that out?'
'Easy,' she replied, 'you keep washing your hands.
One thing led to another and they make love.
After they are done, the girl says, 'You must be a good dentist.'
The guy, now with a boosted ego says, 'Sure, I'm a good dentist, how did you figure that out?'
'Didn't feel a thing. | |
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| My Joke Thread.
Posted: 9/1/2009 8:49:39 AM | Blonde Fishing
A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject,
and finally getting all the necessary tools together, she made for the ice.
After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut
in the ice.
Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed,
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."
Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a thermos
of cappuccino, and began to cut yet another hole.
Again from the heavens the voice bellowed
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."
The blonde, now worried, moved away, clear down to the opposite end of
the ice.
She set up her stool once more and tried again to cut her hole..
The voice came once more,
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."
She stopped, looked skyward, and said, "IS THAT YOU, LORD?"
The voice replied
"NO,THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE SKATING RINK" | |
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| My Joke Thread.
Posted: 9/2/2009 4:32:42 PM | 11 PEOPLE ... ON A ROPE
Eleven people were hanging on a rope, under a helicopter.
10 men and 1 woman.
The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to leave,
Because otherwise they were all going to fall. They weren't able to choose that person, until the woman gave a very touching speech.
She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because, as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids or for men in general, and was used to always making sacrifices with little in return.
As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping . . . . . . .
SEND THIS MAIL TO AN INTELLIGENT WOMAN, SO
THAT SHE HAS SOMETHING TO SMILE ABOUT TODAY
AND TO MEN WHO CAN TAKE A JOKE AND HAVE A GOOD LAUGH | |
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| My Joke Thread.
Posted: 9/2/2009 7:52:25 PM | wow, I don't think I have ever seen a thread this long! Here's my contribution, don't know if it's been done already, but I'm not going to seach through 90 pages first!
n Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also call Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.
The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin. | |
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| My Joke Thread.
Posted: 9/3/2009 9:08:24 PM | Condoms at Walmart
> > A man was in a long line at Walmart.
> > As he got to the register he realized
> > he had forgotten to get condoms, so
> > he asked the checkout girl if she could
> > have some brought up to the register.
> >
> > She asked, 'What size condoms?'
> >
> > The customer replied that he didn't
> > know. She asked him to drop his pants.
> > He did.
> >
> > She reached over the counter, grabbed
> > hold of him and called over the intercom,
> > 'One box of large condoms, Register 5.'
> >
> > The next man in line thought this was
> > interesting, and like most of us, was up
> > for a cheap thrill.
> >
> > When he got up to the register, he
> > told the checker that he too had
> > forgotten to get condoms, and asked
> > if she could have some brought to the
> > register for him.
> >
> > She asked him what size, and he stated
> > that he didn't know. She asked him to
> > drop his pants. He did.
> >
> > She gave him a quick feel, picked up
> > the intercom and said, 'One box of
> > medium-sized condoms, Register 5.'
> >
> > A few customers back was this teenage
> > boy. He thought what he had seen was
> > way too cool. He had never had any type
> > of sexual contact with a live female, so
> > he thought this was his chance.
> >
> > When he got to the register he told the
> > checker he needed some condoms.
> >
> > She asked him what size and he said
> > he didn't know.? She asked him to drop
> > his pants and he did. She reached over
> > the counter, gave him a quick squeeze,
> > then picked up the intercom and said...
> >
> > 'Cleanup, Register 5'
 | |
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| My Joke Thread.
Posted: 9/4/2009 4:39:45 PM | Fourth Marriage
The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because
she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked
her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying
again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation.
"He's a funeral director," she answered.
"Interesting," the newsman thought.
He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about
her first three husbands and what they did for a living. She paused for a
few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years.
After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly,
explaining that she had first married a banker when she was in her early
20's, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's, and a preacher when in
her 60's, and now in her 80's, a funeral director.
The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had
married four men with such diverse careers.
She smiled and explained, "I married one for the money, two for the show,
three to get ready, and four to go."
(Oh, just hush-up and send this one on) | |
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| My Joke Thread.
Posted: 9/4/2009 4:57:00 PM | Fire in East London
In a run-down part of East London recently, a fire destroyed a dilapidated four storey house that had been divided into four flats.
A Nigerian family of six internet con artists and full time benefit cheats lived on the first floor, and all six tragically perished in the fire.
A group of seven Islamic welfare cheats, all illegally in the country, lived on the second floor, and they too, all perished in the fire.
Six Albanian, gang banger, ex-cons - all claiming political asylum and living off the state for free occupied the 3rd floor and they too, died.
And one middle aged British white couple lived on the top floor. They miraculously survived the fire.
The Equal Opportunities Commission, Amnesty International, Human Rights activists, black community leaders and the British Islamic Council were all furious at the apparent racial inequality of the situation. Why were just the British white couple saved? It was monstrous they claimed, and showed that systemic 'racism' still existed in all areas of public service - questions were raised in the House of Commons, the popular media picked up the story and within hours it was national and indeed international news.
The Mayor of London, when questioned stated calmly that it would be unwise to jump to conclusions until the Police and Fire Service had completed their report. He closed by stating that he expected their initial assessment would be available within the next 36 hours - so perhaps it would be best to let the experts gather the evidence and report back before he commented any further.
The baying Press pack subsequently reported the interview in such way as to intimate that the Mayor was indifferent to suffering and was out of touch with the feelings of the whole East London community!
A large motorcade of representatives from all five groups, together with the Home Secretary drove to the area and demanded a meeting with the local chief fire officer. They made sure that a large pack of popular Press and TV had been briefed on the visit and so the motorcade was met by a huge gaggle of journalists, TV interviewers and cameras.
On camera, they loudly demanded to know why the Africans, Black Muslims and Albanians all died in the fire and only the white couple lived.
The chief fire officer quietly replied:-
"They were at work." | |
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| My Joke Thread.
Posted: 9/4/2009 5:22:57 PM | Oh, Shoot
Two men go hunting and get lost deep in the woods. "You know," says one, "I heard that the best thing to do if you get lost is to shoot into the air three times."
So they shoot into the air three times and waited a while. When no rescue party shows up, they shoot three more times.
There is still no response, so the first one says, "I guess we better shoot three more."
"OK, if you say so," his friend says. "But somebody better come soon. We're about out of arrows." | |
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| My Joke Thread.
Posted: 9/11/2009 1:01:15 PM |
All these aging celebrities want to make sequels of their old classics. Stallone's Rocky 6 will come out in December. He will be fighting arthritis. And in 7, he will be going toe to toe with the Grim Reaper. Harrison Ford wants to make an Indy 4. I bet they will name it "Indiana Jones and the Quest for Fiber". Supposedly, he is in a wheelchair, and his assistants hand him the relics....
I just have to laugh because I've been going through this thread from the beginning. This was posted in 2006, and both movies have now actually been done! | |
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| My Joke Thread.
Posted: 9/11/2009 8:33:36 PM | Two men die and are waiting at the gates for St Peter to be admitted to heaven. St Peter arrives and asks the first man "Who might you be?" He responds " I'm Joe Smith, a taxi driver". St Peter says "Okay, let me check your records" "Okay, here's your silk robe and gold staff, you're admitted" "Thank you, St Peter" He then approaches the second man and says "Who might you be?" "I'm James O'Brien, I've been a preacher for 40 years". "Okay, let me check your records" "Okay, here's your cotton robe and wooden staff, you're admitted" "Wait a minute!" he says. "This guy gets this great stuff and he's a cab driver, and I'm a man of the cloth and I get this junk" St Peter replies "Up here we do things by results. You preached and people slept. He drove and people prayed!"  | |
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| My Joke Thread.
Posted: 9/12/2009 12:30:27 AM | The Talking Centipede *
A single guy decided life would be more fun if he had a pet.
So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet.
After some discussion, he finally bought a talking centipede, (100-legged bug), which came in a little white box to use for his house.
He took the box back home, found a good spot for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to church with him.
So he asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go to church with me today? We will have a good time."
But there was no answer from his new pet.
This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked again, "How about going to church with me and receive blessings?"
But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet.
So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation.
The guy decided to invite the centipede one last time.
This time he put his face up against the centipede's house and shouted, "Hey, in there! Would you like to go to church with me and learn about God?"
This time, a little voice came out of the box.
"I heard you the first time! I'm putting on my shoes!" | |
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| My Joke Thread.
Posted: 9/15/2009 5:54:11 AM | Bud Lite
A Mexican, a Black, and a Texas Redneck were walking together on a beach when the Black stumbled over a bottle in the sand. He picked up the bottle, rubbed the sand off it, and a Genie appeared.
"I can only grant three wishes," the Genie said. "Since there are three of you, you may have a wish apiece." Pointing at the Black, he said, "Since you found the bottle, you may have the first wish."
The Black studied for a moment then said, "I wish for a fleet of ships so that I can gather all my people and take them back to our homeland, Africa."
Poof! It was done! Hundreds of ships appeared on the skyline.
The Mexican said, "I weesh for enough Cheby peekups to take all my people back to our homeland, May-he-co!" Poof! It was done! Row after row of Chevrolet Pickups appeared on the Beach.
Turning to the Redneck, the Genie asked, "And what is your wish?"
The Redneck watched as the loaded pickups began moving toward the border, then looked out to sea and watched the loaded ships sailing off into the sunset and said,
"Just give me a Bud Lite. It doesn't get any better than this! | |
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| My Joke Thread.
Posted: 9/15/2009 5:56:45 AM | BLONDE IN THE 6th DEGREE
FIRST DEGREE
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang
at 2 in the morning. The very blonde wife pi cked up the phone,
listened a moment and said 'How should I know, that's 200 miles
from here!' and hung up.
The husband said, 'Who was that?'
The wife answered, 'I don't know, some woman wanting to know
if the coast is clear.'
SECOND DEGREE
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and
buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the
door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really
angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is
overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.
The boyfriend yells, 'No, honey, don't do it!!!'
The blonde replies, 'Shut up, you're next!'
THIRD DEGREE
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.
She proudly says, 'Go ahead, ask me, ... I know 'em all.'
A friend says, 'OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?'
The blonde replies, 'Oh, that's easy , it's W.'
FOURTH DEGREE
Q: What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
A: 'Is it mine?'
FIFTH DEGREE
Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA Freshman, sat in her US
Government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what
Roe vs. Wade was about.
Bambi pondered the question; then, finally, said, 'That was the decision
George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware .'
SIXTH DEGREE
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house
ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and
reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio,
and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde
ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then
sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, 'I come
home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do
they do? They send me a BLIND policeman !' | |
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| My Joke Thread.
Posted: 9/16/2009 7:53:22 AM | Two Women from Newfoundland
Two women were sitting next to each other at a bar. After a while one looks at the other and says, 'I can't help but think, from listening to you, that you're from Newfoundland .
The other woman responds proudly, 'Yes, I sure am!'
The first one says, 'So am I! And where about in Newfoundland are ya from ?
The other woman answers, 'I'm from St.John's , I am.'
The first one responds, 'So, am I!! And what street did you live in Newfoundland?'
The other woman says, 'A lovely little area it was in the west end.
I lived on Warbury Street in the old central part of town.'
The first one says, 'Faith and it's a small world. So did I! So did I!
And what school did ya go to?'
The other woman answers, 'Well now, I went to Holy Heart of Mary, of course.'
The first one gets really excited and says, 'And so did I. Tell me,what year did you graduate?'
The other woman answers, 'Well, now, let's see. I graduated in 1964.'
The first woman exclaims, 'The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us ! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same pub tonight. Can you believe it, I graduated from Holy Heart of Mary in 1964 me self. About this time, Michael walks into the bar, sits down and orders a beer. Brian, the bartender, walks over to Michael, shaking his head and mutters, 'It's going to be a long night tonight.'
Michael asks, ' Why do you say that, Brian?'
Brian answers, 'The Murphy twins are drunk again .' | |
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| My Joke Thread.
Posted: 9/17/2009 1:22:15 PM | advertising in pro sports
A very tall man walks into a bar, and a lady recognizes him as a basketball player. They start to talk, and eventually, go back to his place.
They start to kiss, and the man takes off his shirt. On his arm, he has a tattoo that says REEBOK.
"What's that ?" the lady questions.
"Oh, I have this so that when I'm on TV, people will see my tattoo, and Reebok pays me."
Then the man takes off his pants, and on his leg, he has a tattoo that says NIKE.
'What's that ?' the lady questions again.
"Just like the Reebok tattoo, I get paid when this tattoo is seen on TV."
Then the man drops his underwear and on his penis he has a tattoo that says AIDS.
"You didn't tell me you had AIDS!" the lady screams."No, no.....! Calm down," the man replies..... ... "This will say ADIDAS in a minute...... .....!!!" | |
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| My Joke Thread.
Posted: 9/17/2009 1:33:35 PM | Cruising
DEAR DIARY - DAY 1
All packed for the cruise ship -- all my sexiest dresses and make-up.
Really excited.
DEAR DIARY - DAY 2
Entire day at sea, beautiful and saw whales and dolphins.
Met the Captain today -- seems like a very nice man.
DEAR DIARY - DAY 3
At the pool today. Also some shuffle boarding and hit golf balls off the deck.
Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner. Felt honored and had a wonderful time. He is very attractive and attentive.
DEAR DIARY - DAY 4
Won $800.00 in the ship's casino.
Captain asked me to have dinner with him in his own cabin.
Had a Luxurious meal complete with caviar and champagne.
He asked me to stay the night but I declined.
Told him I could not be unfaithful to my husband.
DEAR DIARY - DAY 5
Pool again today. Got sunburnt, and went inside to drink at piano-bar for rest of day.
Captain saw me, bought me several large drinks. Really is charming.
Again asked me to visit his cabin for the night.
Again I declined.
He told me, if "I did not let him have his way with me, hewould sink the ship."
I was shocked.
DEAR DIARY - DAY 6
Today I saved 1600 lives.
Twice. | |
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| My Joke Thread.
Posted: 9/21/2009 11:47:57 AM | That's When the Fight Started
My wife and I were watching 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, "Do you want to make love?" "No.." she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."
So I said, "....Then I'd like to phone a friend...."
And that's when the fight started....
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
And that's when the fight started....
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.
I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.
The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.
I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered,
'The weather out there is terrible.'
My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'
And that's when the fight started....
A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.
Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.
The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man 'Holy Crap' That must be my husband!'
So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go.
A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!'
The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'
And that's when the fight started....
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Bud Light for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.
I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
And that's when the fight started....
A woman was standing nude,looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And that's when the fight started....
I took my wife to a restaurant.
The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""
Nah, she can order for herself."
And that's when the fight started....
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' said my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And that's when the fight started....
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age.
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt.' So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me'
and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'
And that's when the fight started....
My wife sat down on the couch next to me asI was flipping channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And that's when the fight started....
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a scale.
And that's when the fight started.... | |
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