| Deadbeats!
Posted: 11/13/2005 7:28:57 AM | | yup..deadbeat dad for my children!! | |
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| Deadbeats!
Posted: 11/13/2005 8:29:07 AM | | Ahhh something I can talk about...hehe. My son's dad and I were officially divorced in mid Feb. He DOES pay me child support, however it's as minimal as he can possibly get away with paying. He pays me on HIS terms (yes I know I'm a fool for not filing him to maintenance enforcement, but trying to keep things "amicable") and when he does show up to spend his "1 hr" at most he bothers with, with his son (WHY BOTHER!!!) he makes ignorant comments to me about my home, my appearance etc. My son's dad is a deadbeat in the sense he doesn't spend time with his son, and that hurts more than anything. Thankfully I have sole custody of him...but when he says things to me like "You should let me take him" why bother...you DON'T SPEND ANY TIME WITH HIM....blasted man thinks I'm a fool....NOT..hehe. He's one guy who didn't deserve to be a father....he was fine when their wasn't a child...but the minute our son came along....whammo, it was like competition for care...he's a kid himself mentally. ANYHOW..hehe I am new at POF can you tell...lol. So yes in the sense of time being spent....my son's dad is a deadbeat 100%!! | |
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| Deadbeats!
Posted: 11/13/2005 10:48:21 AM | | But you had a kid by him^^^^^You loved him^^^^^^^^^^ | |
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| Deadbeats!
Posted: 11/13/2005 12:39:58 PM | | Correct, I did have a kid by him...and that "kid" was the only positive thing to come out of it. No one understands what it's like to be in a "loveless" marriage unless they've been there. And that's all I have to say. | |
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| Deadbeats!
Posted: 11/13/2005 12:43:23 PM | | Not only that tarheelman, you don't have kids..according to your profile so you can't even begin to EVEN FATHOM, what it would be like to be a father. A real father spends time with his kid..not leaves it up to his ex wife to do it all. I'm not going to start arguing on this forum, I simply am responding with my thoughts on the original msg..and if you are going to attack me...then I just won't bother anymore. Thanks for reminding me what kind of jerks men can be. | |
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| Deadbeats!
Posted: 11/13/2005 1:12:43 PM | | To lonely mom,,I am sorry!!!I wish you luck..No i never had a chance..To become a father..The women i came accross with in my 20s gave me the impression they rather have a kid with a irronsponsble (spelling) man...Where i always kept a job,drug free,always had car/licence,never hit a woman,average looking,buying a house.....But you know what that was never good enough...Most women i came across with went with complete opposite of me..No i have no regrets....But i do wish you luck and i am sorry if you thought i was picking with you...I hope all the best for you and i hope you do find a man that will take care of you and your child...PEACE!!! | |
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| Deadbeats!
Posted: 11/13/2005 5:59:07 PM | My childs father has not been involved in any way whatsoever since I was about 4 or 5 months pregnant.
I feel no ill will. I guess I may have tricked myself, in my own mind, that he did this for her. That somehow he knew in his demented brain that he could not do this like a normal human being as he was not normal. I like to think it was the one nice thing he did for us.
Call me stupid- mt friends do! But, it makes it easier, I guess, to not not have bad things to say about him when the time really comes to answer serious questions. | |
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| Deadbeats!
Posted: 11/14/2005 9:48:23 AM | I have a deadbeat dad for my children(4 kids...17, 14, 12, 10) as well. He waltzes in to their lives long enough to cause more stress(tries to steal the kids to avoid the support) and lower their self esteem, then waltzes back out again and laughs to himself. He is now $15,741.99 in arrears with Maintenance Enforcement, and has no contact with the children at all. It sucks....does he not realize it is the kids he is hurting here? It just makes me see red. Makes me glad though that he lives 5 hours away, and that you need a permit to carry a gun....lol Last time my daughter talked to him was 6 months ago and he told her he could care less if she died.....nice guy. I'm amazed my kids feel as good about themselves as they do....considering what he has put them through. I make a habit of saying nice things about him(gets harder all the time), and telling them that he DOES love them....but some people just don't know how to love....what else can you say:??? My 17 yr old is pretty messed up and I blame a lot of it on the way my ex has handled everything. We have been divorced for 8 and a half years now...a crucial part of my son's life...ugh...I just wish people would realize the long term effects their deadbeat attitudes leave on their children. | |
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| Deadbeats!
Posted: 11/14/2005 8:10:01 PM | Hey hey,
I have never replied to things like this before but just want to clear things up here...I'm not trying to be a 'new age' kinda guy but not all fathers are like that. I am divorced (14 yrs) and adore my kids. I have always tried to do the right thing, despite whatever problems have existed between my ex and I. I just can't get enough of my kids and spend every day I can with them. I am reaping the rewards and have a terrific relationship with them. I can only feel sadness at the stupidity of some estranged fathers and am mystified as to how any father can deny his kids the love and guidance they need so much. God help the fools understand!! I am so sorry for the families who have been abandoned....but understand, we are not ALL like that. | |
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| Deadbeats!
Posted: 11/14/2005 8:21:45 PM | Hmm where do I start???
I have an 18 month old little boy. His father and I had been having problems we split up and tried living together because i did not want him to miss out on any of our sons first's , I couldnt bare to take that kind of thing away from him.Until he decided he was moving out and that was fine, then he decided he was leaving the city, and then he decided that his move was too expensive and he could nto afford to travel back and forth to see his son. So as nice as I am I offered to travel halfway so that my son could see his father. He refused.... I was a little unsure of why. I knew he had a decent job that made good money and I knew he could afford to come all the way even to see his son. So one day I asked for some money for diapers for my son, he refused he told me he could not "afford to have a son" , i replied with a "little late for that , don't you think?" Then he decided to tell me that he could not afford to have a son, so he was willign to give up his rights as a father, he doesnt want anything to do with his son at all now. And he still has the nerve to tell his family that I am the bad guy and will not allow him to see his son. So i called my sons fathers family and informed them of what he had told me. they were furious, They had been told that i did not want my son to have anything to do with them, I dont know how anyone coudl refuse their child this way...
My son now has my boyfriend who he calls daddy and knows only him as daddy he doesnt remember his real father, and I actually prefer it, my ex is just an ***hole who does not deserve my little angel as his child.
The man who cannot afford my son, can afford to drink heavily everyday and post his MSN display pics for me to see, with new clothes on everytime, and brags about how drunk he got the night before. He makes $11.50 an hour and pays $400 a month for rent. How can he not afford to send me enough money to buy his son at least one bag of diapers?????
Does this sound a little odd to anyone else???
Should I take him to court??? | |
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| Deadbeats!
Posted: 11/16/2005 6:21:37 PM | I would say my ex is a deadbeat. I do ALL of the medical work for my children, you know, take them to the doctor, get there needles, etc...this includes my sons special needs for a medical problem (minor in nature, but time consuming none the less). I am also the one who takes them to school and has a lunch ready. Whenever she wants to go out, I take responsibilty, often breaking my own plans. Since they SLEEP at her house, I pay child support, though technically, I probably wouldn't have to since according to the governments guidelines, I am doing the majority of the custodial duties, however, after support payments, it sorta tough to find a suitable place that my kids could live in...so I am caught in between a rock and a hard place.
Whatever, I still find that my two kids are the most rewarding gift one could ever have, and would never trade them for anything in the world. | |
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| Deadbeats!
Posted: 11/16/2005 6:42:23 PM | | I am just wondering.Is deadbeat and Mr.jerk the same type person..And if the answer is yes.Then why in the hell have kids with these type of people...I guess women think that will change the jerk..No,It gets worse......The only ones i feel sorry for are the kids...It sure in the hell is not the women or the man......Then when a women hits 30 and has 4 kids she decides she wants a nice guy.....Sorry too late...Most nice guys give up at 30(Notice i did not say every nice guy)Tired of the bullsit....But these women are more than willing to have kids with Mr.Jerk..You know the type:Cannot hold down a job because he has 10 dui.s,Abuser...She will worship the ground he walks on...But she cannot understand why he is a deadbeat...DAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!Where the rabbit go george!!!!!!!! | |
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| Deadbeats!
Posted: 11/16/2005 6:51:45 PM | Not only is my daughters mom a deadbeat,but could not care less if her own child lives or dies
and thats sad. | |
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| Deadbeats!
Posted: 11/16/2005 7:39:59 PM | I,m a father of a 6yr old boy I've had full custody scence Feb 6th of this year and mom hasnt bothered to help out with a thing, not even school clothes, tommorow we go to court I have a child support hearing with her, its not the money I dont need the money from her I make more then enough its the fact I believe she needs to help out with our son at least a little and if she would have offered or just helped a little I wouldnt have taken her to court.
Wish me well tommorrow I'll let you all know how it goes.
Jim | |
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| Deadbeats!
Posted: 11/16/2005 8:58:58 PM | | oh i couldnt agree more my sons dad is a deadbeat big time. It burns me to think that he can get away without paying child support. | |
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| Deadbeats!
Posted: 11/17/2005 2:24:49 PM | | Well I went to court this morning and I was awarded $256.00 a month child support she has to pay me, we'll see if she pay's it. | |
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| Deadbeats!
Posted: 11/17/2005 2:24:56 PM | | Well I went to court this morning and I was awarded $256.00 a month child support she has to pay me, we'll see if she pay's it. | |
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| Deadbeats!
Posted: 11/17/2005 6:14:00 PM | | my little girls dad has seen her 2 times in almost a year.He lives in the same town and refuses to have anything to do with her,but he sure stays stuck up his girlfriends kids butt.He could care less about her,and she cries wanting to know why her daddy dont love her.Whats a mom to say to her child when they ask that question.She just turned 5yrs old,and how do I put it politley that her dad was just a sperm donor. | |
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| Deadbeats!
Posted: 11/19/2005 8:03:09 PM | | I have a daughter who is now 12. The last time the sperminator saw her was when she was 1 month old. When she was younger she was really hurt that he did not see her, things have gotten better after I arranged some counselling for her. I have told her that he has done her a favour by not coming around, because to say it bluntly, he is a loser. Her father is 37 years old, fathered I don't know how many other kids and works at a video store for minimum wage. I have worked hard at giving her everything, while he pays minimal support. | |
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| Deadbeats!
Posted: 11/19/2005 10:29:41 PM | Okay, well now I am going to get myself into trouble I am sure...
Unless a woman has been raped, she has chosen the man with whom she had her children.
This means that although all parents should remain responsible towards their children, and I totally feel for those single moms/dads without support, you also have played a part in this.
If the person with whom you had children was not a picture perfect guy/girl to begin with, there should be no real suprise when they duck out on the children.
Unfortunately, many people are afraid to admit their part in choosing a bad relationship, and will use "deadbeat Joe or Joanne" as a crutch and a sympathy getter. How about thinking about the incredible parent you must be for doing it all by yourself. How about having pride in being the mom and the dad all alone. How about pondering the great love and respect your child/ren will have for you later for shouldering all the responsibilities of parenthood.
Never mind the deadbeats, we can only change ourselves. | |
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| Deadbeats!
Posted: 11/20/2005 2:04:06 AM | | "Sperminator"? Wow, all these words people come up with against those who fell short of requirements set forth by the enforced labor laws, which is slavery btw. A simple definition of slavery is: Enforced Labor. Shouldn't "sperminators" call others "Nazis", "Confederate", or something like that? | |
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